"The others are shouting at me, but I can't seem to respond. Strong arms lift me as I blast the head off a mutt whose claws have just grazed my ankle. I'm slammed into the ladder. Hands shoved against the rungs. Ordered to climb. My wooden, puppet limbs obey. Movement slowly brings me back to my senses. I detect one person above me. Pollux. Peeta and Cressida are below. We reach a platform. Switch to a second ladder. Rungs slick with sweat and mildew. At the next platform, my head has cleared and the reality of what's happened hits me. I begin frantically pulling people up off the ladder. Peeta. Cressida. That's it."
Katniss. Help.
"What have I done? What have I abandoned the others to? I'm scrambling back down the ladder when one of my boots kicks someone."
"Climb!" Gale barks at me. I'm back up, hauling him in, peering into the gloom for more. "No." Gale turns my face to him and shakes his head. Uniform shredded. Gaping wound in the side of his neck.
There's a human cry from below.
I scream, as the mutt digs into my leg.
"Someone's still alive," I plead.
I'm still alive. They're talking about me. I'm alive.
"No, Katniss. They're not coming," says Gale. "Only the mutts are."
Help.
"Unable to accept it, I shine the light from Cressida's gun down the shaft. Far below, I can just make out Finnick, struggling to hang on as three mutts tear at him."
Too weak to scream. Be strong. Annie.
"As one yanks back his head to take the death bite, something bizarre happens. It's as if I'm Finnick, watching images of my life flash by."
The mutt leans over, rabid drool frothing out of the corner of its mouth, dribbling onto my neck. I close my eyes and wait for the death to come. The beach, the waves, the ocean. My father teaching me how to fish. My first catch, a bass, two feet long. We cook it, and eat it for dinner. The first trident, a birthday gift from my father. As he hands it to me, he tells me, "Just in case." The games; Mag's kind face smiling as she steps into the gas and melts. Annie screaming as her teammate is beheaded. Annie, sliding a ring onto my finger, telling me she loves me.
" The mast of a boat, a silver parachute, Mags laughing, a pink sky, Beetee's trident, Annie in her wedding dress, waves breaking over rocks. Then it's over."
Is it over? Is this the end? Why am I not dead?
"I slide the Holo from my belt and choke out «nightlock, nightlock, nightlock.» Release it. Hunch against the wall with the others as the explosion rocks the platform and bits of mutt and human flesh shoot out of the pipe and shower us."
No. Katniss. I'm alive. Help. I wonder if she saw the mutt back away, as she dropped the Holo. I wonder if she'll ever know that if she didn't drop it, she could have saved me. But it's not her fault. Katniss, I forgive you. The Holo is ten feet from the ground, everything moves in slow motion, like I'm underwater. I close my eyes. Annie, I love you. I'm sorry.
The bomb touches the floor. Agony shoots up my body as my leg is blown off. Everything goes dark. I'm dead.
"There's a clank as Pollux slams a cover over the pipe and locks it in place. Pollux, Gale, Cressida, Peeta, and me. We're all that's left. Later, the human feelings will come. Now I'm conscious only of an animal need to keep the remnants of our band alive."
I'm alive.
