Well, this is my first ever xxxholic fic so it might not be any good. Sorry '

Also it is and alternative universe fic (since over at an LJ community there was a post on ideas for AU fiction and I thought that I would like to give it a try), and will include OHGASP! Yaoi! Since the main pairing will be Watanuki/Doumeki, although there is a bit of Watanuki/Himawari.

Disclaimer: I do not own xxxHolic nor the cast of xxxHolic, they belong to CLAMP. sighs. though I wished I did... though I don't think I could afford the price of the equivalent exchange. XD

I hope someone enjoys this fic, we have quite a journey to go before it is over :)

Rain again, Love again.

It was raining again.

For Watanuki, it was a day like this he could remember moving to this town at the age of ten with his Mother and Father. He had thought it was the worst day in his life when they had left their old home and friends behind. At least that was what he had thought, until his first day at school he had made a new friend. Thinking about it now Watanuki could not remember the boy's name, only his face and warm friendly smile. It had also rained when he made his first new friend. School had ended and Watanuki had forgotten his umbrella, leaving him standing on his own waiting for the rain to stop. Then he heard someone say to him if he would like to share an umbrella with him. Watanuki remember smiling then. But despite all the other times Watanuki had spent time with this other boy, all the fun and laughter they had shared, he could only remember the day his friend had said goodbye. It wasn't a 'Good-bye-forever' but the sort of goodbye that meant 'I'll see you tomorrow.' But that wasn't the case. The days passed by and his friend never came back. He remembered someone saying that he and his family had left to go overseas. But surely his friend would have said something, wouldn't he?

Watanuki sighed softly to himself. He was now 24 years old, wearing a black suit and standing in a graveyard. The raindrops were almost unnoticeable to him as he wondered deeper into his memories. The day his parents died. It was still so strange to Watanuki when he tries to remember what had happened on that day. It was like any other day. Father had made breakfast and Mother made sure that Watanuki took an umbrella to school with him since the weather man said that there would be showers. He had just started middle school at the time. He was feeling quite content since it was just another day of school, nothing special happened. But when he had gotten home there was a police man at his house. Watanuki can just about remember being told that his parents were involved in an accident, but afterwards it was blank. Perhaps he had blocked it out or maybe he had just forgotten.

He could defiantly remember the day he moved in with Yuuko, his foster mother. Although he had never referred to her as a foster mother and neither did she. If anything Yuuko was the dead opposite of what a guardian should be, for one thing she was utterly insane. At least that's what Watanuki had thought. Although Watanuki had to admit that he respected her quite a bit and felt quite attached, although he would never let her know that since he could practically predict weeks and weeks of her teasing and tormenting. He enjoyed helping out at her store, which sold many antiques and collectibles from all around the world, it almost felt like he was traveling through different dimensions and exploring strange new worlds. Especially with Himawari...

"Himawari chan..."

Watanuki had sounded broken as he fell to his knees in front of a grave stone, trying so hard not to cry. Himawari was... no... is still the most important person in his life. Ever since the first day they had met in high school Watanuki knew she was the one. Although Yuuko did at one point suggest that Himawari could possibly be just a crush (Watanuki remembered the rant-filled response he gave in return for that comment, lasting about three hours even though he could tell that Yuuko was just messing around with him again), but it did not mean she disapprove of Himawari. In fact poor Himawari was used in many of Yuuko's plots to annoy Watanuki.

In the young spectacled man's hands, Watanuki held a music box that he had given to Himawari for a wedding gift. It was quite old and had been in Yuuko's shop for several years. Whenever Himawari came by to say hello, she had always asked Yuuko if it was okay for her to listen the music box's tune. Yuuko had never said no to this request even though normally she gets quite annoyed when customers just fiddled with the items, then again Himawari was always so very careful when handling the box. Watanuki closed his eyes, visualizing her slender fingers twisting the silver key and the look on her face and the music played. It took some time working for Yuuko to pay for the musical treasure. He can remember the look of joy Himawari had in her beautiful eyes. Thinking about it all now caused Watanuki to cried harder than ever in his life. They were married happily for two years, without any arguments or fights. As Watanuki worked for Yuuko as well as help look after the children she had recently fostered, Himawari was a kindergarten teacher. They had both thought about having children of their own, but... just like his parents and his friends, she was taken away from him. She fell ill. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong and Watanuki...

He could still feel her hand in his as the young man sat by his wife's bed in the hospital. Her sweet voice still rang in his ears from their last conversation.

"Kimihiro kun, you should go home and get some rest."

"I'm not leaving you."

No matter what anyone said, no one in this world could tell him to go. Both his stubbornness and fear of losing Himawari kept him right next to her.

After a pause of silence he saw a pained but beautiful smile form on her face.

"I love you..."

Somehow at some point Watanuki fell asleep and when he woke up he felt a limp hand. She was gone before he could even say goodbye.

'Why do people always leave me?' Watanuki thought sadly to himself. Lately he had taken some time off work and kept his distance from Yuuko. He knew it wasn't her fault and that she would eventually find a way to barge into his life again, it was just that right now Watanuki Kimihiro was not feeling sociable even though at the same time he didn't want to be alone. The young man stared at the tomb stone whilst tear kept on falling mixing with the raindrops, whilst thinking words for his dearly departed.

'Himawari, I don't think I can do it. I don't think I can ever love again. Everyone important keeps leaving me and I don't think... I don't think I have anything left to help me reach out to anyone. You were my last hope and love. I still do love you, but it hurts...'

"It hurts..." Watanuki shuddered these words out, feeling drowsy and cold. It had obviously been a bad idea to come without an umbrella. But he had no longer cared. He didn't see any reason why he should keep staying alive since there was no one left for him to care. Well, maybe Yuuko. But she would be alright, after all he's just an employer now.

Watanuki felt heavy, as if he was about to sink and drown into the ground. Although now that the thought had occurred, Watanuki didn't mind if he was to die right now. Perhaps he would get to see Himawari again.

"Hey."

Watanuki blinked and turned his head slowly to see a young man around his age looking down at him holding an umbrella over the both of them. Watanuki for a brief second noticed the amber eyes staring intently at him, before this stranger continued speaking.

"Are you okay? If you stay out here any longer you'll catch a cold."

Watanuki couldn't concentrate anymore. He felt the whole world blurred as he tried to stand up, only to feel himself falling and blacking out into a deep sleep. One thing that Watanuki noticed as he was falling was the strong warm arms that had caught him. For a moment he had felt comforted before remembering the broken parts of his heart.