I'm afraid... Hermione has gone completely and totally bat-shit crazy. And it's all Ron's fault. We all knew it would happen eventually. But she had such a promising future ahead of her. Oh well. Nothing can be done anymore.
Okay, sorry, I was babbling. Tell me if you like this? And I know, Hermione doesn't seem all that crazy at the moment. But this is only the first chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Chapter 1: Uh-oh, she's lost it!
Hermione knew she was being irrational. That even though Ron was the biggest jerk on the face of the planet and he gave her a constant, throbbing headache, she should forgive him. He was her best friend.
But frankly, she didn't care. she had stopped listening that part of her brain the day Ron had betrayed her.
Hermione had decided that it it was time to tell him the truth. She liked Him. As more than a friend. As so she did.
They were alone in the charms classroom. The words had just spilled out of her mouth. Ron turned a bright shade of red. Then he ran out of the room.
What did the little weasel do only three days after she had confessed her undying love for him? In a poem, no less? He asked out that little rat, Lavender. Just to mess with her. Just to spite her. She was sure of it.
So Hermione did the only logical thing there WAS to do. Listen to Crookshanks.
She hadn't known he could talk before. Before that day when she said bye-bye to the part of her brain that told her 'You need to sleep. Going 142 hours without sleep cannot end well' and 'Now now, Hermione. You KNOW spiking that first year's pumpkin juice with that potion that'll make them vomit uncontrollably for 12 days straight is a bad idea.'
The moment Ron had asked Browny-Brown-Lav-Lav out, Crookshanks had spit those first, lovely words from his lips. Those words that told her she should listen to him, and not that unreasonable voice in her head telling her all the time to be nice and behave. The one that was now telling her to forgive Ron.
But she could no longer hear that voice. She could only hear the words uttered by Crookshanks. The words telling her it was finally time for revenge. Finally time for the sweet, sweet payback that the traitor deserved.
And now that he and that evil rat of a girl had broken up, it was almost time.
If only she could remember why Q was the eighth color in the pen of trees...
R. E. V. I. E. W. Thankyouuuuu! Like I said. More than likely, Hermione will be crazier next chapter.
Hermione: Hailey, I was reading the title. And by the way, it's awful shiny. You should get that checked out. Anyhoooo. It said I've lost something. Where is it? Have I found it? Do I miss it terribly?
Hailey(a. k. a. moi): Yeah, you have lost something. But I'm not quite sure if you miss it yet.
Hermione: Oh deary me! What a catastrophe! Surely I must waste away to nothingness without my lucky pea pod!
Hailey: ...Okay. But you see, you've lost your sanity. I'm afraid it's run away and is threatening to never return.
Hermione: My lucky pea pod!
Hailey: *eyes widen* Hermione, that's not a pea pod. You don't want to touch that! No, put it down! Ew, that's just plain gross.
There you have it folks, she's gone bonkers.
