a/n: Okay, so I really didn't mean to start writing this, or any fic at the moment, but it sort of just happened. Historically not the best excuse, I know. This fic is set after season six, and though it starts with Palex, who knows where it ends up. Having said that, I'm not even sure if I should continue with it. I'm trying something a teensy bit different from my usual stuff, shorter chapters, maybe messing around with POVs, maybe more episodic. Review and tell me if you like it, or if you don't for that matter, it's all useful. Way To Blue is taken from the title of a Nick Drake album, but you probably own it already.
"Look, I just need to tell them, okay? It's not a big deal."
"But why?"
"Because…"
"Ooh there's a reason," she muttered, shaking her head and turning away.
"Alex-" she let out a sigh, weary yet wary, careful not to push the conversation into negotiation territory. This simply was not up for debate.
Alex knew this, recognized the cautious, measured edge to her girlfriend's voice. She would bend but not break.
And Alex also knew that her own stubbornness, her own stupid pride would not let her acquiesce in the face of reason.
"I'm doing this for us…" Paige offered, her tone softening, her fingers finding Alex's shoulder, she could feel the tension prickling under hot skin.
Alex let out a snort, swallowed hard, tensed her jaw. Why am I fighting this? Fighting her?
The touch revived some of her resolve.
"But, c'mon they already know… it's not like they weren't there last year."
"Yeah," Paige agreed, edging closer, brushing Alex's hair from off her face, willing the girl to look at her. "But this is different."
This was real. This meant something more than just dinner dates and movies and stolen kisses between classes and midnight groping before hurried goodnights. They were more than just going steady, high school sweethearts, girls gone wild, girls experimenting, girls waiting to be straightened out…
Paige Michelchuck's a dyke? But she's a cheerleader.
Yeah, but Alex Nuñez like, butched her out. They've totally set sail to Sappho land.
It's Lesbos, you dumb fucks.
She'd heard the bitchy putdowns whispered in Degrassi's halls. She'd dealt with the raised eyebrows from teachers, catcalls from guys, exhaustive late-night phonecalls with Hazel and Marco, repulsed and delighted, impressed and in shock. She could handle it then. And she could handle this now.
Her parents would not stand in her way, if life with Alex made her happy. She had a deep underlying belief in that.
What she hadn't factored into the equation was her girlfriend's utter reluctance to stand up and be counted.
"Alex, it's just one of those talks you need to have, y'know? Like the big, this-is-what-I-want-to-do-with-my-life talk?"
Alex didn't know. Alex had never had that kind of talk. With anyone. She didn't need permission, or confirmation, or any of that. Possibly because life had never been about setting goals and achieving dreams. Life had been about paying rent on time and getting high, life had been about watching her back and getting them before they got you.
"They'll be okay about us," Paige pressed on with her assurances. "It's just to let them know that we're a couple now, like officially. That I plan on having you in my future…"
"Couldn't we just send them a joint Christmas card," Alex muttered.
Paige rolled her eyes at this, suppressing the mother of all sighs.
"Or Hanukah, whatever…"
"Alex," the edge had returned, the edge that refused to be pushed any further.
An abrupt silence broke out between them, perching precariously on the brink of an argument. It could go either way, but they both knew Paige's mind was made up.
"I just want to explain things to my mother, Alex. She'll want to understand."
The explanation seemed so reasonable that it just fuelled Alex's annoyance further. She was in a bad mood, she was being irrational and she knew it. It had all started with the B- she'd gotten on her latest paper. She'd worked her ass of for that and it hadn't been worth it.
And when she'd gotten home, he was there. As if it wasn't bad enough to have Jesse's offensively bland face to contend with on a regular basis, not to mention his stupid chipper remarks, here was the Furby setting up a sweatshop in their living room.
And Paige was just consumed with numbers and marketing ideas and fits of giggles, she hadn't even noticed at first. Hadn't even followed her echoing footfalls as they purposefully stomped up the creaking staircase, hadn't even rushed to tend to her bruised ego, hadn't even bothered to comment on the slammed door that so grated her senses.
And though the unwanted guests had eventually cleared, and she had finally thought to check on her girlfriend's fretful outburst, had there been sympathy? Had there been mild curiosity? Had there been the there there's, or the cup of coffee that Alex was so desperately craving, or the apology for having him over for the fourth night in a row?
No, there had not. She had just launched into it, right there, ignoring Alex's torn up paper on the floor, her bristling shoulders and her earlier tantrum.
"Hun, I've been thinking. I think it's time we had a little chat with my parents…"
And Alex was in no mood for listening right now. Let alone talking. Let alone talking with Paige's parents.
A sudden vision popped into her head of Paige's father, picture book posed behind her seated mother, asking Alex, "Just what are your intentions for my daughter?"
It was absurd. But it was an absurd nightmare that had her tasting bile in the back of her throat.
"Well, fine. If you want to sit down and announce to your parents that we're fucking nightly then be my guest. But just don't expect me to be there when you do."
It was childish and instantly regrettable. But it was the only way to end this stupid conversation.
"Y'know Alex, sometimes you can be such an ass!" Paige's voice trembled with anger.
"This isn't about anybody fucking," she practically spat out the word, "this is about you and me as a couple. And you don't have to be there, but it would have been nice for my girlfriend to support me when I explained to my parents how much I fucking loved her!"
With each emphasis, Paige's volume had ratcheted up another notch. Alex looked on the verge of saying something, something conciliatory maybe, but Paige couldn't stick around to hear it.
She only won the arguments when Alex didn't see her tears.
