Author's Note: Written for the Men Of Tortall monthly challenge, this month 'Shatter'. Check out the forum to participate .
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I'm not TP
As a young man I took the lessons and a worked hard. Then when I was chosen I took the steps to not be one man, but a man that was one with all. I stepped up and took his hand and when the enchantments began, there was no turning back. My body was no longer whole. I had no way of knowing where I was or who I was. All I really knew is that I had to be everywhere at once.
My mind began to stretch, or maybe it was my soul.
Soon I was everywhere. I was being pressed down upon by wild horses galloping over the desert, but soon I was uplifted as a sandstorm picked up and threw me into the air. I couldn't stop; I had to follow where ever the pull took me.
I was inside of a hut watching my best friend die from an arrow piercing his heart. I was running for my life as a huge beast chased me. The jaws clamped down around by neck, and then I was the fox trying to stop the hunger in my belly with the flesh between my teeth. I was the young boy with a a big grin on his face as a look of pride overcame my father. I became a mother in labor and felt as if I was being ripped in two, then like I blinked I was the father pacing outside the tent impatiently, finally I was the new born babe looking up into the new mothers wet eyes.
My entire being was being pulled in so many directions I could barely remember who I was. Where was I? Was I flying? Or maybe I was walking through the grass.
Then I was hit like a horse ran straight into me, I had reached my limits, I could stretch no further. My soul, my spirit had to stretch farther, or break, what it would do, I didn't know.
The power shook in my body and then his spirit, but it didn't really feel like just him it felt like thousands, no millions joined mine and a made it possible for me to stretch in every direction. Everywhere, I was everyone, and everything. I knew who everyone was, and would be. I knew who I was, I was complete. I was The Voice.
I wished I would never have to go through that again, but the I wished to experience over and over, the complete solidity of knowing where you belonged in life for a fact was the most exhilarating feeling in the world. But the pain of being stretched for so far, so long was burned into my memory.
Then I began to fray at the edges of my soul. I could not hold everyone's spirit together for much longer, I had to pass the burden on to another younger, stronger soul.
When the time came to pass the torch I was both dreading and anticipating the moment came for me to feel myself and no one else ever again.
The Northern Prince was ready for his burden, I could feel it as I began to hand the spirits of the world over to him. My soul ripped with each spirit passing through. Each feeling becoming more and more removed. Like so many years ago, I felt as if I would either have to stretch out with him, or break.
This time I had nothing left to take though, I was giving it all up for him to hold our place in the world. He would become The Voice.
So, I broke.
I allowed every spirit that The Voice has ever spoke for to pass into him and my own soul would no longer hold them all. I shattered into millions of pieces.
I could never get all of me back, for I had given too much away already, but those pieces of me would continue through life with The Voice. What was left of my shattered soul would never truly heal, but it would never feel broken as I drifted away with the Black God.
