Where are you heading off to dressed up so beautiful," Tony asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
"An afternoon SI function that you begged out of earlier in the week. Maria's going as a Stark employee. Nat's going as my date and bodyguard, so I don't want to hear any crap from you if the tabloids suddenly start making waves about how I got tired of you and I'm dating another Avenger," Pepper smirked.
"I thought you said you were just going to trade me in for a newer, younger model. Natasha isn't newer or younger."
"Tasha doesn't really age, so I don't have to worry about that, now do I?" Pepper grabbed her purse and headed toward the elevator, heels clicking on the floor. "JARVIS, please let Natasha know I'm heading to her floor."
"Yes, Ma'am," JARVIS replied.
Bruce closed the door of the refrigerator which he was hiding behind, "She's really angry, Tony. Have you ever considered going to some of these functions? She might not be so mad at you if you did."
"She wasn't this pissed earlier in the week when I asked if it was okay if I didn't show so we could help Jane with her experiment this afternoon. No. Something more is going on," Tony said.
Maria, Natasha and Pepper arrived at the SI cocktail party that was being hosted on one of the lower floors of Avengers Tower. They decided they were going to go get a late lunch first and then come back to the Tower to deal with all the people. Also, if they didn't leave early and go get something real to eat, they'd never get to eat anything anyway because they were always being interrupted by insipid questions that could be answered if the person would have just bothered cracking open the information pamphlet. Happy helped them each out of the car and escorted them inside even though Maria and Natasha could protect themselves and Pepper just fine, they had to keep up appearances. They walked around mingling. Pepper had her arm loosely threaded through Natasha's so she fill her in on some of the perspective project investors. It seemed like Nat had dirt on everyone, which Pepper found extremely helpful when she was wheeling and dealing.
Nat and Pepper were leaning on a table, when Maria walked up holding a glass of champagne for both of them and one for herself.
"What's wrong," Nat asked as Maria downed her entire glass of champagne.
"See the man in the charcoal pinstripe suit with the silver tie over my right shoulder talking up the redheaded server," Maria asked.
"Yeah, Aloysius Sutherland. He owns Sutherland Electronics. He keeps trying to get in bed with SI and he won't take the hint that he's just going to dirty the sheets. He thinks he's a ladies man. I'm surprised he hasn't been hit with more lawsuits than he already has been, but then again he has money so he makes them all go away, I'm sure," Nat replied.
"Well, if we weren't here and I wasn't playing nice for Pepper's sake, I would have just broken his arm. There's no way that his touching my ass was the accident he proclaimed it to be and it sure as hell wasn't the first time. I'm not sure how much more of his bullshit I can take without cutting his brake lines. "
"Careful, Maria he's coming this way, albeit slowly since he's already had a bit to drink and he keeps stopping to hit on women who are so not interested." Nat tilted her head slightly and continued to watch him inconspicuously, "It's pitiful really." She looked back to Maria and Pepper, "I'll make you a deal, Pep if you follow my lead, I'll take one for the team, but you owe me… big" Nat smiled.
"Go for it. I hate that man and Maria's right. His accidents are bullshit. He finally backed down on me when I took over as CEO. Happy won't let him closer than four feet of me and any other female as long as he's around. Unfortunately in settings like this…" Pepper motioned around the room with her glass.
Natasha relooped her arm back into Pepper's, "This is going to be fun." Nat smiled as Sutherland approached. She looked like she just won a major award.
Maria smirked, she knew what was coming. "Is there anything else I can get you," Maria asked right as Sutherland walked up.
Pepper smiled, "I'd like another glass of champagne. What about you?" Pepper turned and looked at Nat.
"Maria, love. If possible, could you bring me a glass of vodka? It's been a very long day and I'm sure it'll be a longer night." She smiled and looked at Pepper.
"I'll take whatever she's having," Sutherland spoke up and smiled at Nat. He looked like a shark swimming in an ocean full of chum. Maria rolled her eyes to Nat before walking away. Maria almost felt sorry for Sutherland… almost. Poor guy just didn't realize that he was the chum and not the shark.
"So where's Tony at this afternoon," Sutherland asked, stepping a little too close into Pepper's area of personal space she liked to maintain.
Nat felt Pepper go rigid beside her. She gently squeezed Pepper's arm, "He's on call. You never know when evil doers are just going to pop up out of nowhere, Mr. Sutherland." Natasha gave him the sort of smile that she gives a mark to reel him in. Pepper had to cough cover up her laugh. She'd never seen Natasha work up close from the outside before. She was seeing why it was so impressive. Pepper was beginning to feel better about being duped by Natasha's 'Natalie Rushman' alterego when she was helping save Tony's life. It appeared she already had Aloysius hooked and she'd just smiled at him.
"So they told you who I was, did they?" Sutherland's facial expressions swiftly changed between pleased and panicked.
"Yes, though your identity wasn't very difficult to ascertain just from your, well shall we say, 'your special way with people.'" Nat smiled politely and gestured, out from across the room. Her point may have just struck home even though she said it jokingly. Sutherland's body tightened up.
"So Pepper, Tony has a thing for redheads now? I mean aside from you. So, is it a matched set fantasy or what," Sutherland asked.
Pepper tensed and Natasha squeezed her arm a little more firmly. "I wouldn't know, Mr. Sutherland. I've never been with Tony," Nat responded.
Sutherland smiled solicitously, "Oh, Pepper, have you traded Tony in for a woman? I can see why you'd do such a thing. Especially for that one. She is such a lovely creature."
Pepper wrapped her arm possessively around Nat's waist, "Mr. Sutherland, it is none of your business whom I'm with. The only business you should be concerned with is your own, and since yours isn't exactly going great, I think it'd be best if you'd keep your mouth shut." Pepper tipped her champagne glass back and finished it.
Nat squeezed Pepper's hand three times to give her warning she was about to cause a scene. "Besides, Mr. Sutherland, if anyone here is a creature, it's you, and that's a considerable statement coming from me." Maria handed Natasha her glass which contained several fingers high of vodka and Sutherland his. Nat's eyes twinkled first at Maria and then at Sutherland, "Bottoms up." She held her glass up in a cheers fashion and downed the entire glass. She then sat it on the table and looked curiously up at Sutherland who was having trouble finishing his glass. "So do you lack conviction in everything you do," Nat asked using Coulson's favorite phrase to get someone further off of their game, "or is it just in drinking?"
"What do you mean by that," Sutherland sputtered, his face turning beet red.
"It's just really sad, how pathetic really, your… flirting techniques are."
"Pathetic," Sutherland practically roared.
"Yes. For example, if you'd stop acting like you were gracing us with your presence, you may actually get a friend or two, so maybe, just maybe, you'd have someone to talk to. As it is, you just come off being that creepy guy no one wants to hang out with. It's almost like you just didn't develop any social skills or any want to develop them either."
"Because Tony Fucking Stark has such great ones," Sutherland snarled. Every time he raised his voice the crowd around them became larger. Maria had already alerted security as to what was going to happen, so they would be prepared for his eventual loss of temper. Many of the guards were hiding in plain sight.
"At least Tony has them, he just doesn't care to use them. Let me rephrase, he doesn't care to use them on poor excuses for human beings such as yourself."
"Pepper, are you just going to stand there and let this little girl fight your battles for you," Sutherland asked.
"Oh my God," Natasha interrupted, "That's it! Of course! You're just mad Pepper never returned your affections!" Maria gently grabbed Pepper's arm from Nat and nonchalantly taken a few steps to the side with her.
"What? I… I don't need her affections," Sutherland blustered.
"I can promise you that she's not interested in you. As a matter of fact, from the expressions and reactions of the women and even some of the men I've seen you interact with at this particular social engagement, I am highly certain that no one is or will ever be interested in you at all..." Nat delivered this news as if she was telling him his stock had suddenly plummeted in price—quietly and sad sounding.
Nat planted her feet, expecting the next thing she said would cause him to utterly lose it. "Seriously though, have you ever had a willing woman that wasn't one you had to pay for?" Sutherland punched Nat right in the face. His ring caught her cheek and gave her a nasty cut. She barely turned her head.
"Oh, you're not going to even fight back? What you waiting for? An Avenger to show," Sutherland taunted.
Nat turned her head to look at him, the blood had begun pooling beneath the cut. She then tilted her head slightly sideways as one does when trying to figure out a particularly difficult puzzle, "You hit like a bad mannered child. Would you like to try it again?"
When he tried to hit her the second time she caught his arm and twisted it around his back, caught off guard, and he lost his balance and fell to the floor. Nat had him pinned with her knee in his ribs within the time of an eye blink. Maria held out a pair of handcuffs, which she used to cuff his hands behind his back. NYPD came over to take over and grabbed him. Then they began to ask Nat a few questions. Sutherland could only hear some of the answers though.
"Yes, I do want to press charges. Natasha Romanoff. I'll be upstairs in this Tower. I live here. Leave your information with Happy. I'm going to go upstairs and get medical attention from Dr. Banner. You can just meet me up there. We appreciate it. Thanks." Pepper brought a rag with ice cubes in it to stop the bleeding on her cheek during the interview.
The cops came back over to Sutherland to deliver the good news, "Well, Mr. Sutherland, you'll be pleased to know, that you just got reprimanded by the Black Widow. She was not waiting for another Avenger, she handled you all by herself. Something tells me that she wouldn't have needed any help in any case." Sgt. Jackson whistled. "What a dumbass."
His partner Eddie Perez, "I think she's hotter in person. Wow."
After Perez and Jackson handed off Sutherland to go some other officers so they could go through the formal arrest paperwork and formally interview Pepper, Maria, and Natasha.
"Did they say what floor they were going to be on," asked Perez?
"Officer Perez and Sargent Jackson, can I be of some assistance," JARVIS's ghostly voice came through the elevator speaker. Suddenly the doors opened again to reveal a tall African-American man dressed in jeans and an Army Veteran t-shirt. "Good evening, Sam."
"Hi, JARVIS. I heard there was some excitement. Is Nat okay?"
"Have you ever known Agent Romanoff to say otherwise?"
Sam laughed, "Not even when she was shot. I take it these fine officers are here to get the full report?"
Jackson was first to recover, "Well, yes."
Sam held out his hand, "Sam Wilson. Welcome to Avengers Tower. That welcoming voice you hear is JARVIS. He's our resident AI. If you need something, just ask him."
"Um, JARVIS, would you please take us to Ms. Romonoff," Jackson asked.
"Certainly," replied JARVIS.
Jackson held out his hand to Sam, "I'm Sgt. Jackson and this is Officer Perez."
Sam smiled, "See was it that hard? Okay JARVIS, let's go find Tasha."
The elevator let them off on the medical floor. They followed the voices into one of the large rooms.
"Are you saying he's been feeling up all my female employees up for years? Even I don't do that!" Tony voice had raised a few octaves.
"Sir, Mr. Wilson, Officer Perez, and Sgt. Jackson are here."
"Thank you, JARVIS," Tony said. "I'm learning something new. Possible technology partners..."
"You could have just asked me," Nat said reappearing after a shower in her pajamas.
"I don't know why I didn't. You know everyone's deepest darkest secrets. I'd ask you what mine were, but you already know them." Tony had begun to talk faster than normal, a sure sign he was nervous.
"You get everything out like I asked, Tony," Bruce asked.
"Yes. It's all right here. I haven't taken it out of the packages or anything yet." Tony turned and looked at Nat, "Being you're a girl, I didn't know how long you'd be."
Nat rolled her eyes, "I took a shower Tony; I wasn't swimming the English Channel."
"Still, I know how you girls are."
Pepper glared at him, "Do you want to amend that statement?"
"Okay, so I know how some girls are."
Pepper sighed. "Better."
"Can we get this over with? I think those gentlemen want to ask questions." Nat nodded to the cops. "Hey, Sam."
Sam walked over to Nat and looked at her cheek. "So, I hear Tony now has wannabe work buddies who want to take you down a peg."
"They can want. Asshole has spent far too much time groping women.
Sam smiled. "Far be it from me to make you not make someone pay for treating women badly."
Clint and Steve came rushing in the room from the other door. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Sam, can you help me out here?" Nat looked at Sam deploringly.
Sam smiled and then whistled, getting everyone's attention. "Okay, people. Natasha has something to say before Bruce starts poking her face with a
needle and thread."
Natasha's eyebrows furrowed, "Thanks, Sam." He smiled back at her.
"I'm fine. Not a Natasha fine, a real fine. Bruce is going to give me some stitches to make the rest of you happy and while we're doing that, JARVIS is going to bring up the footage of Sutherland playing grabass with every server and underling from Stark he can find. Also, these fine officers are going to ask questions and review footage. Does anyone have any questions before we get to a point where I can't move my face for the next fifteen to twenty minutes? No, okay. Good." Nat turned her head to Bruce who had been getting everything ready during her speech, "Bruce, start stitching."
"I'm gonna go make dinner." Steve leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. He was out the door in nothing flat.
"You guys aren't this bad when I lose consciousness. What is the deal?"
"Don't you want painkillers?" Perez asked. Clint made his way over beside Nat and sat on the gurney next to her.
"No, not really. Besides Doc and I have an agreement, I only have drugs if they're absolutely necessary, and this isn't."
"You ready," Bruce asked.
"I guess." With that she laid back on the gurney and he started stitching her face. Clint started telling her all the inane details of some new compound bow he and Tony were developing and before long Bruce's stitches were done. She didn't move the entire time.
"Done." Bruce leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.
"Thanks Doc." She smiled at him and then looked to Clint. "So why do you think that this new bow will be better than the rest? Just different material base or what?"
Clint smiled. He looked like a kid opening presents on Christmas. Tony sighed and handed him over a fifty dollar bill.
"Okay, so you're right, she just pretends she's not listening, but she is. I hate you so much right now, Red." Tony went to fold his wallet back up and put it up but Bruce cleared his throat. He reached in and handed him a hundred dollar bill. "I don't like you much either, Bruce."
"What's that about," Jackson asked waving toward the money exchanging hands.
"Getting to the bare bones of it, it's Tony being an idiot," Pepper replied.
"I'm sorry, I can't figure her out. This is helping." Pepper looked at him incredulously while she opened and closed her mouth.
"I repeat what I said earlier, Tony's being an idiot."
"Gambling's illegal," Perez said.
Natasha slid up beside them, quiet as always. "The word is unlawful, not illegal. Also, considering every dime they win off Tony, is going to charity, I don't see where it matters that much."
"The sneaking is extremely disturbing. Please, don't do it again," Jackson said his hand resting on his gun.
"Gentlemen, if I wanted to, neither of you would be armed or conscious. I want to make this clear before Sutherland's lawyer begins his mumblings about how I could have killed him. Yes, it's true. I could have killed him and no one would have been wiser to it for at least a month or longer. As is, I let him hit me after he salaciously hit on a number of women and some men who did not want or return his advances. JARVIS has recordings of at least ninety three percent of these recordings, I'm sure."
"Ninety six percent, Agent Romanoff."
"I stand corrected, ninety six percent. I'm sure that Miss Potts and Mr. Stark no longer want him as a possible technology partner." Nat looked at Pepper whom nodded in agreement.
"No shit. If I had known about this guy, he would have been long gone," Tony grumbled.
"Therefore, I don't think there should be any problems to find other women to press charges or to come forward with statements against his lascivious nature." Bruce handed Nat a cup of tea as he looked at her stitches. "They're fine, Bruce."
He smiled back shyly, "I was just checking. You know me."
She smiled back at him, "That's why I'm not worried about them."
Maria entered in jeans and a Stark Industries t-shirt. "What did I miss?"
"You want to be the second to press charges on Sutherland," Pepper asked.
"I've already filled out a police report." She handed it to Perez. "I've included both video and photo evidence. If those copies get lost, please contact me and I'll have JARVIS make more, however I've also emailed them to your work emails and to your Captain's email. Along with some of the highlights from tonight's fiasco."
"Wow, you are amazingly on the ball," Jackson said.
"I was Nick Fury's Number Two for many years at SHIELD. If you want me to, I can make Sutherland disappear and it will be completely legal and above board. If you'd like Strike Team Delta to do it, it will be messy but no one will ever know any details," Maria said a-matter-of-factly, "and a body will never pop up."
"That's scary, Maria. Good to know, but scary," Pepper said.
"Strike Team Delta," asked Perez.
"Barton and Romanoff." Maria pointed to them. They were laughing about something Bruce said. "He works from afar while she does all the close up missions. They're an unstoppable team. It's a pleasure to watch them work. You should come by sometime when they're sparring. You'll see why I said that if she wanted him gone, he'd be gone."
A few days later, Perez and Jackson stopped by. JARVIS instructed them where to go. The team was in the gym. Clint and Nat were on the mats sparring. The rest of the team was watching. Steve went to greet the two police officers.
"Here for the show," Steve asked.
"No, but since we're here…" Jackson trailed off.
"Go ahead and make yourselves comfortable. They've already been at this for about twenty minutes. Besides, those two fight mean."
Just then Clint threw Nat across the floor. She rolled up into a standing position. She took off after him and jumped, wrapping her legs around his neck. He slacked his body so he wouldn't feel the neck breaking crunch that would inevitably followed next if he didn't. Clint twisted in the air so that that their weight would come down mostly on Nat. She rolled out from under him at the last second so they both landed on the mat. She summersaulted on top of his chest, grabbing an arm and putting him in an arm-bar as she rolled. He tried to twist out of it. A bell sound came out of nowhere.
"She still beat you, Clint," Sam said laughing.
"When I start winning more, I'm gonna start worrying about her," Clint hugged her and offered her some of his water.
"Officer Perez, Sgt. Jackson, what do we owe the pleasure? I mean aside from watching me kick Hawkeye's ass?" Nat lightly elbowed him in the ribs.
"We wanted to let you know that twenty two women other than the ones from SI have come forward to lodge complaints about his inappropriate touching and comments. Many were able to back up their claims at the very least he will be getting some sort of reprimand and counselling. Whether it will do any good or not, I can't say, but at least the warning about his manners will be out there." Sgt. Jackson seemed more or less pleased with the outcome.
"Every little bit helps," Nat said before taking a drink of water.
"Exactly," Sgt. Jackson replied.
"Could you show me how you blocked Sutherland's hands and got him in cuffs so quickly," Perez asked.
Nat smiled and called out to Happy who jumped down off the bleachers and smiled back, "Officer, it'd be my genuine pleasure."
