Author's Gutter: Yush! It's my first Ouran High School Host Club fic! The idea came to me in a dream a few nights ago, and I've been planning it out ever since then. OHSHC has become my new obsession recently, but I hadn't been able to think of a good plot until now. This is for all the HikaruxHaruhi fans out there! I lurve Tama-chan and Nekozawa-senpai, but I just had to write this instead. Perhaps a NekoxHaruhi one-shot will be spawned. –evil laugh-

SO! Kick back, relax and watch the drama unfold before your very eyes. Oh, one more thing. You see that truly beguiling button near the bottom that says 'Review'? If you love OHSHC and you know it, leave a review! Yush, please leave reviews. .

Title: Our Beautiful Disaster

Author: Ultra Violet is a Wicked Spell

Pairing: HikaruxHaruhi, implied TamakixHaruhi

Rating: Teen for language and suggestive themes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or it's characters. If I did would I be creating fan fiction? I created Ayaka though.

I'll keep you my dirty little secret.
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret,
Just another regret, hope that you can keep it
My dirty little secret.
Who has to know?

Everyone has a few dirty little secrets which have been swept cunningly under the rug. Some sins you wouldn't even begin to consider that someone such as them, were capable of committing. Nevertheless, people need to lie, deceive and commit misdemeanors to get by in the world we subsist in today, but can a clandestine so purely intoxicating, a offense that feels so right to commit really be all that foul?

"Here we have the ball gown, which is absolutely the most formal and traditional type of dress. The ball gown is complete with a fitted bodice, and an elegantly full bell shaped skirt, "A prim and proper toned woman stated, holding a dress catalog up to a seemingly perfect couple.

"It does look quite beautiful, actually." The airy, melodic voice of the bride-to-be replied, desperately trying to mask the utter enthusiasm creeping into her tenor. Suddenly, the elder woman's prudent, stormy grey eyes lit up with the spark of inspiration. "Though, perhaps the sheath style dress would be more fitting for you, darling. With your petite body and graceful curves, it would most definitely make your guests gawk at your perfect form."

The wedding planner motioned to a pure white dress which was most clearly to be described as a slim sheath silhouette that closely follows the line of the body. Her magenta manicured nails swept across the page, to stop upon the many types of necklines. "Here, darling is where you can choose which type of neckline would best suit you." She explained to the ecstatic young blonde.

"I particularly like the bodice with spaghetti straps. What do you think, Hikaru-kun?" The excited woman asked, turning her sparkling cerulean eyes towards the future groom. The young man was currently staring off into space, as if there was some sort of black hole beyond the rack of spiffy prom dresses. This handsome specimen was Hikaru Hitachiin, 23 years old, and apparently not very enthusiastic about dress selection.

"Hikaru-kun?" The blonde repeated, inquiring one slender, waxed, blonde eyebrow at the preoccupied young man. It took a good three seconds before Hikaru realized he was being stared at, but managed to feel two sets of eyes burning into the side of his head. "Huh?" He blinked in an oblivious fashion, turning his head to stare at the two curious women.

"Hikaru-kun, I said 'what do you think about this?'." The blonde stated with that melodic voice of hers, dotting the bodice and spaghetti strap dress in the upper right corner of the catalog. The cinnamon haired young man locked on to the said garment with his calculating amber eyes, giving the dress the interrogation of a fashion designer.

"I don't know, Ayaka-chan. Wouldn't you rather use one of the dresses that my industry makes?" Hikaru ventured, giving the dresses a somewhat snippy glance. From his comment, he could tell that the lady was affronted with him, but hey, why the hell should he care? He was part of a major designing industry after all. He had it all. Money, fame, a gorgeous fiancé, a nice cushy executive seat in his mother's company, a house that could make both Tom Cruise and Donald Trump green with envy, and everything he could ever want.

"Hmph. Well, I'm sorry that our dresses don't meet your standards, Mr…?" The worker scoffed, hinting that she wanted to know this arrogant young man's name. Hikaru gave her an ostensibly sincere smile, before replying in a somewhat cliché manner, "Hitachiin. Hikaru Hitachiin." The wealthy fashion designer's smile grew with relish upon seeing the astounded expression on the woman's Botox endorsed face.

"Uh, I-I-I, " The woman babbled incoherently, looking so scandalized that you just might expect the graying hair beneath her dyed locks to emerge from the stress. "Come, Ayaka-chan. I think our business here is complete." Hikaru declared, lifting his Ralph Lauren blazer from the suede loveseat, and proceeding to stride towards the door, Italian leather shoes thudding against the woodwork.

The young blonde, Ayaka, bit her lip in embarrassment, and turned towards the babbling worker to send her an apologetic glance and a slight bow. "Arigatou, for your help, ma'am!" She thanked the woman, and followed the stubborn brunette out the door.

Once the glass door swung shut behind their backs, Ayaka fell into stride beside her clearly amused groom-to-be. "Hikaru-kun, why did you have to do that?" She pressed, tossing him a disappointed glance with her dissatisfied, azure eyes. The obstinate young Hitachiin averted his pleased amber eyes from his fiancé's, only to arrogantly reply, "I didn't particularly like the dresses they had there. I don't want my fiancé to be adorned in something fit for a commoner."

Commoner. Just why did that word roll off the tip of his tongue with such ease? A word that was supposed to be insulting and condemned shouldn't be this much pleasurable to say, and it certainly shouldn't make the prosperous young heir feel depressed.

His slender brows furrowed, for the nostalgic properties that word possessed could pull him head first into another bittersweet memory, one that would plague his thoughts until kingdom come. Almost mournfully, Hikaru sighed as he could hear the voices of years past ringing in his ears.

"Arigatou, Hikaru…."

What? Where was that voice coming from!

"The ice cream here is supposed to be famous. Here, taste it!"

Holding the sides of his head, trying to block out the sound that was seemingly coming out of nowhere, Hikaru wondered just why he was hearing this soft, delicate voice all of a sudden. Also, why did this haunting voice disable him from feeling his heart, and make him want to fall apart?

"Hikaru…"

No. Stop. Leave me alone!

"Hikaru…"

Damn it all! Who the hell are you!

"Here, taste it!"

No, I will not taste your damn ice cream!

"Hikaru-kun!"

Snapping out of the dazed state he was forced to endure, Hikaru opened his eyes to behold Ayaka standing in front of him, with both hands gently shaking his shoulders. "Hikaru-kun?" She inquired, concern brimming in her bright azure eyes.

"W-Wha-? What happened?" Hikaru asked in an oblivious fashion, shaking his head as if there was water stuck within his ears. Ayaka gave him a calculating glance, but informed him, "Well, first you said that you didn't want me dressed in commoner wear, and then you stopped walking, and sort of began muttering to yourself. Next, you began holding the sides of your head, like you were in pain, and then you yelled at me, 'No, I will not taste your ice cream….'"

She stared at the very embarrassed Hikaru, whom was realizing how awkward the situation must have been for Ayaka. "Ah, sorry." He muttered, scratching the back of his neck in an attempt to prevent the scarlet blush from crossing his cheeks.

"Hikaru-kun, have you, um, taken your medication today?" Ayaka ventured, but it was evident that she didn't want to press this subject. She cast the eldest Hitachiin an anxious glance, clearly worried for his well being. Hikaru bobbed his head up and down, it was his way of saying 'yes', but just to clarify it for her, he smiled, "Yeah, I took it before I met you at the shop."

An unquestioning smile graced Ayaka's cherry lips, giving her stunningly beautiful face an almost inhuman glow. She then wrapped her slim arms around her fiancé's well muscled left arm, giving him a short, appreciative embrace, which she concluded by intertwining her delicate fingers with his. "Aishiteru, Hikaru." She blissfully sighed, tightening her grip on his hand lovingly.

Hikaru radiated a small smile, but for some odd reason he didn't say that he loved her too. He didn't know why, but he just couldn't say those words from the bottom of his heart. He never had been able to say them with every fiber of his soul sewn into the syllables, not since what happened two years ago.

Furrowing his brows, banishing the unpleasant thoughts from his conscious, Hikaru kept his amber gaze ahead. Their destination was the corner of Magnolia Street, where the limousine was parked, waiting for them. He could feel the many stares of citizens, casting the limo many curious and impressed looks, and it gave him some pride to know that people actually noticed a rich designer when they saw one. There once was a time when Hikaru would relish to see people staring at the expensive cars that he rode in, it amused him to see the gawks plastered on the people's faces, but now…for some reason, he didn't get nearly as much amusement out of the spectacle as he used to.

"Konnichiwa, Hitachiin-san." The driver welcomed, opening the sleek obsidian door for he and Ayaka to slide in. Hikaru allowed Ayaka to slip in first; being the gentleman he was expected to be. He followed her after she was comfortably seated on the leather seat, drinking champagne from the wine-glass stationed near the window.

Once Hikaru was accommodated with champagne and caviar, the door slammed shut and the driver stuck the key into the ignition. With a graceful 'vroom', the limousine roared to life, and was swiftly soaring down the street. Hikaru took a small sip of the expensive liquid, wondering where that voice he had heard minutes prior had originated from.

Ayaka must have taken notice to his puzzled expression, because she lowered the tube of lipstick from her lips, and stared at him for a few moments. "Hikaru-kun, are you sure you are all right? You look quite troubled…Are you positive you took your medication?"

Hikaru unintentionally snapped back, "Yes, for the hundredth time I have taken my medication! Cant a person be a little troubled from time to time?" The startled look upon Ayaka's face softened the frown plastered on Hikaru's face, causing him to realize that he went too far.

Sighing, Hikaru began, "Look, I'm sorry. I just haven't been sleeping well lately, so I'm a little out of it." Ayaka silently nodded at his reasoning, for it was pretty obvious that Hikaru did not like discussing his 'problem'. "It's all right, Hikaru-kun."

About a year ago, the people around Hikaru pressed him to go in for testing, for his infamous bursts of yells and ill-tempered retorts were becoming more and more severe. It was later diagnosed that Hikaru had bi-polar disorder, and that he had been sick with it for the majority of his life. The fact that his twin brother, Kaoru, had not been diagnosed with the sudden fits of rage was a bewildering prospect, but even though bi-polar disorder could be genetic Kaoru was selfless and normal to an extent.

The many episodes where Hikaru would become depressed all began to fit into the picture, and his sudden mood-swings were also helping to build the puzzle. The delusions and paranoid thoughts that plagued Hikaru's mind were now receiving treatment, and so far he hadn't had a major outburst for the better part of the year.

Bi-polar disorder could result in violent and destructive mood swings, mood swings where Hikaru could possibly hurt the people around him or himself. Thus, Ayaka was constantly asking him if he remembered to take his pills, Hikaru wasn't sure whether she was concerned for his safety or her own though. Both Hikaru and his twin brother seemed to have endless ducts of energy coursing throughout their bodies, but the root of the energy was soon discovered for the eldest Hitachiin. Bi-polar disorder possessed the state of Hypomania. Hypomania is a less severe form of mania without progression to psychosis. Many of the symptoms of mania are present, but to a lesser degree than in overt mania. People with hypomania are generally perceived as being energetic, euphoric, overflowing with new ideas, and sometimes highly confident and charismatic, and unlike full-blown mania, they are sufficiently capable of coherent thought and action to participate in everyday life

That was the possible cause for all the energy and charisma Hikaru possessed, but since Kaoru had the same nature, they weren't quite sure if that was the cause. It would explain the sexual drive, irritability, paranoia, and aggression Hikaru was famed for in the long run though. "Hikaru-kun, you have to meet with Kaoru-chan today for bussiness?" Ayaka asked, deciding to leave the previous argument alone.

"Yeah, we need to go over copyrights for the industry or something. You have to work tonight?" Hikaru informed her, followed by a question for her to answer. Ayaka nodded, tossing a few strands of perfectly styled blonde hair over her shoulder, so that she could see her compact more efficently.

"Hai, Aruto called me in for a photo shoot tonight." She told him, but busied herself with her makeup nonetheless. Ayaka was a fashion and makeup model for many major companies such as Loreal and Mayballine, thus she was usually busy with her work. Hikaru couldn't say he was pleased that she was usually occupied with her work, but he knew that they wouldn't have met if she wasn't in the same bussiness as he was.

"It might have been for the best if she wasn't though…" Hikaru pondered, wondering what life could be like without hit comittment to Ayaka. It was not that he didn't care for her, but he could not truthfully say that he was in love with her. Their union would promote his desigining company, and with Ayaka's fame and assets, the company would no doubt strive higher than anyone could have ever imagined.

After all, as he learned back in high school, Wealth first, Lineage second. Hikaru exhaled in a somewhat depressed manner, but Ayaka had learned that he didn't want to be iterrogated any further. Resting the back of his head against the warm leather seat, Hikaru wondered, "I've got everything I ever wanted, so why…why am I so miserable?"

His eyes trailed towards the window, where he saw that the sky toady was exceptionally clear. It was so blue and endless, it made Hikaru wish he could just forget everything and fly away like one of the many birds flying in a V shaped pattern. "Heh, but life isn't that simple is it?"

Thinking about freedom made him wonder how the his friends were doing. He and Tamaki were no longer on good terms, but he couldn't help pondering where Mori, Honey, and Kyouya got to in life. Of course they talked and saw each other from time to time, but they did not have nearly the same close relationship as they used to. For whatever reason, he couldn't remember where they got to in life, only the way they were back in high school.

Did Honey become a shishou at a dojo, a master warrior who commanded armies and marines, but still had that 'too cute to be legal' appearance? Did he still carry Bun-Bun around with him? Was Kyouya ever able to outdo his elder brothers, and be selected and accepted by his smothering father? Had Mori stuck with Honey for this long, and was he still trailing after him and protecting him like a guard dog? Was he still able to uphold the title of kendo national champion?

Did Haruhi ever reach her one true goal?

Suddenly, Hikaru felt a twisting feeling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling that could only be described with one word. Butterflies. "What in the hell…?" Hikaru thought. That familiar yet distant sensation of having your pulse racing with the mix of the butterflies confused Hikaru to a great extent. He hadn't felt butterflies like that for…two years. Why did her name cause such inexplainable sensations for him? That name had the power to thrill, cripple, injure, and heal him all at the same time! How on Earth was one name capable of accomplishing such a feat!

There was once a time when Hikaru could stride up to her, knowing she'd be right where she always was, and playfully sling his arm around her shoulders and poke her soft, ivory cheeks. A time where he could say anything, and keep anything hidden, but she would be able to tell what he was thinking. She was the only one who could actually answer correctly in the 'Which is Hikaru' game. She was the only intruder to ever dare to enter the secluded and eternal winter of his world.

She was the only one…

As if some great tradgedy happened within the span one second, Hikaru felt so lonley, despite having his fiance only feet away from him. He felt cold, lost and alone… The same way he felt in that eternal world of winter. The thought of that scene two years ago pulled and tugged at Hikaru's heartstrings, making the pain all the worse. Knowing he could never touch her cheeks again… "Haruhi…"

Letting his sorrowful gaze stray back up towards the clear, open, sky, Hikaru asked in a hushed tone, "Are you looking at the same sky, Haruhi?"

Author's Gutter: Well, there you have the first chapter! I just had to make Hikaru bi-polar, it fits so well! xD Anyhow, tell me what you thought of that chapter. Reviewers will be given cookies and OHSHC bishounen! So, REVIEW LIKE THE WIND!

Chapter 2 Preview (hey, that rhymes!): A day in the new life of renowned lawyer, Haruhi Fujioka. Or should I say…Haruhi Suou…? –cliffhanger-