Hey everybody, another story from little ol' me! This one is basically about Beast Boy and Raven wallowing in their hidden despair caused by different reasons for each, and both coming together and healing each other. This will hopefully turn out to be a really intricate, well-rounded story. It will have angst (a lot of that in this chappy!), romance, drama, and everything you want in a good story! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the story!
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As she sat in silence, her emotions feuded beneath her mask of unfeeling. Her expression was inexistent, emotionless features playing across her face. From behind her curtain of lies, her feelings were tearing her apart, rapidly becoming out of control. At any second, the fuse could be lit, and she would explode.
From where she sat, she could see the city illuminated by artificial lights. Her reflection greeted her as she focused on the expansive window that she was gazing out of. Plain features. Ashen skin. Purple eyes. Purple hair. And nothing more.
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He remained at a safe distance, though close enough for satisfaction. Several yards behind her, he questioned her purpose of sitting alone in an empty room staring off to nowhere. Desolate and isolated, she seemed so completely lonely.
Thankfully, she hadn't noticed him yet, or he would have long since been dead. Though in present dimensions, he could only physically see the back of her head and shoulders peeking out from behind the back of the sleek black couch, but as his gaze moved to the vast window not far in front of her, he could see her reflection. Simple accenting features. Fair skin color. Glistening amethyst eyes. Violet strands of hair. And breathtaking beauty.
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Wrapped up in her own sorrow, she hadn't previously taken notice of the impending presence slightly behind her. As her internal suffering faded to some extent, she raised her eyes to the window to identify the figure that seemed to be watching her.
The reflection she saw came as no surprise. A short, green changeling with cocky ears and a small fang greeted her gaze. A slight twinge of emotion sparked through her, but she ignored it and stood up.
At this motion, he jumped slightly. She could feel the fear race through his veins, his breath becoming unnaturally quick, his heartbeat speeding up considerably. Refusing to lock eyes, she concentrated on the wisps and frays of his shining green hair as she passed by him without a word.
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Gliding past him was the essence of beauty, yet he allowed her to slip through his grasp so easily. He mentally punished himself as he stood in the empty room in silence.
On impulse, he immediately turned around to face the automatic doors, opening in a quick, mechanical motion. Striding quietly down the halls of their secluded residence, he guided himself through the twisting structure to his destination. After several minutes, he arrived at a door with a single word etched into it: Raven.
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Blowing off the dust from one of the many ancient books she had within her possession, she sat down on the dark cerulean fabric that covered her bed and gingerly began to sift through the tattered pages.
Abruptly, there came a soft knock on her door. She looked up, but didn't have any intention on answering it. Whoever it was didn't matter anyway. They never really cared about her. It was all pretend.
From the other side of the door, there came a quiet voice. "Raven?" it almost whispered. She didn't respond. "Raven?" the voice beckoned again. "Are you in there?"
She remained at the safety of her bed, the soft covers comforting her tangled thoughts. If she stayed in her own safe reality, then maybe the presence that she knew was at her door, pleading for her to open her feelings to the world, would disappear and leave her to sulk in her own loneliness.
And her silence worked. Because Beast Boy finally went away.
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Defeated, he turned away from the door that marked his rejection. Every time he tried, he was shot down, left out, and beaten to loneliness. Every time, no matter what.
He didn't understand his constant failure. He tried so hard at everything, struggling to get it right just once, yet everything always came out wrong. His heart was in the right place, but he could never come through. Sometimes he would believe that he did the right thing, and just this one time everything turned out okay, but in the end, he ended up as he always did: a failure.
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Her mind wandered endlessly through the prolonged night. She gazed out at the dark blanket that covered the sky, specks of light sprinkled throughout the expanse. The pale light of the moon streamed through her window and illuminated her fair features, her violet hair glistening in the dim luminosity.
Tears gleamed in her stunning amethyst eyes, allowing herself to only express her secret pain in the silence of the night. Her teammates would never understand anyway. She contained her emotions to protect others, as well as herself. Without her mask that she created to hide behind, everyone would discover all the ugliness that haunted her through her life. She would not let herself be seen. Ever.
She could feel the existences of all else that resided in their home. The cocky Boy Wonder with sleek black hair and hidden eyes. The naïve, happy alien from Tameran with long, shining red hair and sparkling emerald eyes. The egotistical, good-humored half-robot with impressive robotic parts and one intense russet eye. And the humorous, little changeling with messy green hair and glimmering jade eyes. All were sleeping soundly, trapped in their own fantastical realities that were never tainted with the darkness that lurked within their own. Except . . . she could feel one not taken by the wonders of slumber that she could never reach. He was quite awake, and trembling in his own despair . . .
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He was staring out at the abyss that encased the world, allowing the darkness to nurture his broken soul. The brilliance of the moon sliced through the black sky, but could not comfort him.
Curled up into a ball on the glossy black sofa that marked the center of the Main Room in the only place he ever called home, cold tears streamed down his hot green cheeks. The intensity of his sorrow was beyond understanding, his shoulders shaking from the effects.
Why was he such a failure? Why did he have to be born this way? Why did he have to pretend? Why did she just see right through him?
Questions bombarded his scrambled mind, causing more misery to rain upon him. He pulled himself tighter together, trying to escape the relentless pain that disturbed his previously placid existence.
Unexpectedly, there was the soft swish of the mechanical doors behind him. He glanced up from behind the couch in surprise, momentarily forgetting about the tears that stained his normally happy face. What came to his vision was startling. It was the striking empath that overwhelmed his thoughts so often.
Upon seeing her, he immediately ducked down to the safety of his curled up body and shivered in sorrow. His sharp senses told him that she was nearing him, so he proceeded to simulate sleep, in hopes that she wouldn't discover his hidden sadness. He could feel her standing over him, her stunning presence pushing his senses. As she came closer, he could smell the faint scent of lavender.
For a moment, he could feel her just standing there. Then, her delicate finger reached out to his cheek and gently wiped away his tears. And then, as abruptly as she had come, she was gone.
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The next day, neither mentioned the previous night, or what had been discovered. What she had found puzzled her, and turned everything upside-down. Everything that she thought she knew now seemed wrong, and nothing was the same. However, she continued her daily activities without showing a sign of perplexity, as she had much practice of doing so already.
On the other hand, she found herself watching the changeling that had literally changed everything closely. He laughed like all the others, and made jokes just as every other day, but she could not forget his tears that had burned on her fingertips just the night before. The tension emitting from him had filled the room, knowing that she was there and his act was shattered.
She didn't understand. How could such innocence be tainted by such despair?
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He found it more difficult to continue pretending to the ones that he called friends. They were in fact, he realized now, more than just friends. They were his family. And to repay the kindness that they showed towards him, he lied to them, as well as to himself.
For a while, the identity that he took on – the jokester of the group – almost seemed real to him. The portrayal that he put on formed onto him and nearly became him. Then he was reminded that his 'reality' was all a lie and that he couldn't hide forever when a flirtatious blonde with a secret crashed down upon his happiness. That fateful day – when betrayal became real again – reminded him of the terrible feelings that existed in life, that existed in his heart.
He now over-exaggerated a laugh as his car passed the finish line a second before Cyborg's did in the videogame that was displayed on the screen before him. As he did so, he could feel the empath's gaze burning into the back of his head. He could feel her watching, observing, analyzing his every move. Since the night before, her eyes followed him everywhere. Those stunning amethyst orbs that glistened in the moonlight . . . .
He couldn't handle the pressure anymore. He needed to know what she was thinking, and what she was going to do. He would open that dark goddess to him, no matter what it would take.
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It was dusk, the time when the dust of the sun sprinkles around the edges of reality, the brilliant amber rays shining in their last regretful moments of life, the soft warmth caressing the earth in an inspiring display of fading light. Upon the Tower roof hovered a half-demon in lotus position, lost within the confines of her own mind, attempting to calm her inner struggle as her physical body savored the breathtaking sunset before her.
However, she sensed a figure quietly standing behind her, closing in and disturbing her meditation. She continued to keep her eyes shut, the blackness of her eyelids surrounding her vision. Unfortunately, the peace that she had hoped to maintain was broken when a voice from behind her shattered the silence.
"Hey, Rae! Whatcha doin'? Meditating? Oh . . . whoops. I guess I shouldn't bother you then. Sorry," the voice said. She immediately recognized the characteristic language and boyish twinge in the voice. As he began to walk away, she set her feet lightly on the ground and turned to face him.
"Beast Boy . . . wait," she uttered unsurely. She instinctively pulled her inky blue hood up over her gleaming violet hair. Her safety laid in the shadows.
The green shape-shifter stopped and plastered on a clearly fake smile before turning around to meet her gaze. "What is it, Raven?" he beamed. But before she could respond, his slender green arm was reaching towards her. Sooner than she could stop him, he pulled down her hood to reveal her ashen face. He smiled genuinely, his glittering emerald eyes softening at the sight of her beauty. "There, that's better. You should keep it down more often. After all, you've got nothing to hide." And on that note, he turned around and exited into the Tower, and left Raven alone with a fiery blush raging across her fair cheeks.
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The smile that her beauty had caused quickly faded as he found himself wandering the dark, lonely corridors of their domain. How he longed to stay on the roof with his beautiful companion instead of forcing misery upon himself by refusing to allow a slip from his cover. He could never let his friends discover his true feelings; he could never let them know that his smiles and laughter were merely his way of hiding from the sadness that lied beneath his tinted skin. Especially her – the striking empath that would cringe at the realization of his ugliness, his misery that had been placed upon him so painfully – Raven.
His thoughts wandered to her name . . . Raven. It suited her well – dark, yet lovely; solemn, yet graceful. His mind was carried away by thoughts of her, the impending destruction she would cause to him. His desires and dreams meant nothing, no matter how wishful. She viewed him merely as a teammate, a companion at best. Never anything more . . . despite all he longed for.
Eventually, he reached the end of the hallway, where a door identified with the words Beast Boy was set. He stood in front of it and stared into the cold, hard metallic structure. He traced the etched in letters with his fingers, his touch sensing the lie. He was not Beast Boy. He wasn't part of the Teen Titans. He was no hero.
Sighing, he turned away from the door and began to walk the opposite direction, no longer caring where his tired feet took him.
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The soothing warmth of the hot, fresh herbal tea running down her throat calmed her slightly, as it always had done. She allowed the pale light of the moon bathe her delicate body in its luminous glow. The moonbeams streamed through the vast window in the Main Room of the Tower, falling upon her gracefully.
The confusion that had draped over her now brought tears to her violet eyes. The lies that crawled into her mind settled in and screamed in her thoughts.
She was placed at the counter farther back in the room. The lights that burned in the Tower during the day had crawled back to their dark corner and fallen asleep; the only light now was that of the moon, shining down in silence.
Her tearful amethyst eyes stared into the bottom of the empty teacup that she held in her delicate hands, illuminated by the moonbeams that refused to let her brood in darkness. The tealeaves had shriveled and become black, insisting on the cruel fate that was placed upon her. A teardrop fell from her fair cheeks onto the counter, forever engraving the saddening sound in her mind.
She gazed up at the stars and wished for her depression, her sadness, her despair to vanish. The insistent tears sprung to her eyes once more, brimming on the edge of breaking down. How she longed for it to be that easy . . . to simply look to the sky and wish all her troubles away . . .
Suddenly, her thoughts were disrupted by the familiar sound of the mechanical doors opening behind her. She didn't bother to glance at the invader; she knew the presence immediately because of the heaviness that he brought with him. She could feel the weight of the world pressing down on his shoulders, though one would never be able to notice by looking at his happy face.
But when she finally did glimpse at him, his expression was far from happy. His normally boyish features seemed matured somehow, as if misery caused him to appear older. The smile that seemed to have been glued to his face all the time had evaporated, and it appeared now that it had never been and never would be.
He didn't look at her, but the moonlight reflected the tears in his eyes. Pausing only slightly, he continued towards the front of the room, his arms hanging limply at his sides, his back vaguely hunched over, as if his despair was literally crushing him. He proceeded to the smooth black sofa and dropped himself onto it, no longer caring what position he landed in, no longer concerned that she was there, watching his mask unfold to reveal his true self.
She watched him fall into the depths of darkness, and observed the pain in his tears. What could possibly be causing his despair? He was always so happy . . . .
But he wasn't. She could see now the façade that he hid behind, the lies that controlled his life.
She stood up from the safety of her distant observation and entered the space of sorrow. She placed herself next to him on the couch, and unexpectedly, to both her and Beast Boy, pulled him into an embrace.
And thus, the healing began.
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Please review! I want this to be a long-ish story, but this chapter took me a long time to write, so if you faithful reviewers you could give me some motivation by reviewing, I will be your bestest friends! Just review, kay?
