Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters that appear on the Hogan's Heroes TV show. I do own the character of Angel and the plot-line for this small adventure.
The ladder squeaked softly as Angel swung down into the depths of the tunnel. Her boots made a muffled thump as she skipped the last few rungs and dropped lightly to the earthen floor. A chorus of excited greetings met her as she turned to the five men who eagerly surrounded her.
"Good to see you back." Newkirk grinned as he gave her a companionable slap on the shoulder.
"Good to be back." Angel answered, brushing her hair behind her ears as she returned the smile. She looked around the circle of welcoming faces. These guys were like family away from family for the duration. Angel moved to stand close to Kinch and a smile passed between them, the only greeting necessary.
"What brings you to our lovely Stalag today?" LeBeau questioned.
"A matter of concern." Angel answered. She shot a questioning glance at Hogan. "Colonel, I'm afraid you're losing your touch."
A touch of serious worry entered Hogan's manner. "Why? What makes you say that?"
"You know that German spy you sent out with the Brit Leftenant a couple days ago?" Angel returned a question for a question.
It was Kinch who answered. "Yeah. We received confirmation on them from London this morning."
Angel turned slightly and looked up at her big friend. "That's a relief. What in the world were you guys thinking, sending a hi-metal intelligence agent out with that air-head?"
Her accusing tone put Hogan on the defense. "That airhead was a British officer, fully capable of handling one Kraut."
"An officer, yes." Angel snorted. "But capable, no. I was sent out to meet them at the first checkpoint in the Underground. Do you know the first thing I saw? Your little ringer standing over the Leftenant with a gun."
There was a surprised silence in the tunnel.
"I knew the old chap was a bit distracted at times." Newkirk finally broke the quiet. "But 'e seemed to take the message when Schmidt tried to break away in the barracks."
"Yeah, well, he didn't take the message far enough, apparently." Angel scowled.
"How did Schmidt manage to get the drop on him?" Carter asked.
"He told the Leftenant that he was having a heart attack." Angel replied, dead serious.
"And the Leftenant believed him?" Hogan said incredulously.
"Of course he did!" Angel answered hotly.
"Come to think of it, we were playing it a little risky Colonel." Kinch interrupted. "I mean, this guy Schmidt is obviously highly trained. He even had us believing that he was an American."
"Exactly." Angel nodded. "And this Englander was a little soft." She nodded to Newkirk. "No offense."
"None taken. Saw a bit of that in him meself." Newkirk answered.
"A little support would be nice fellas." Hogan shot Kinch and Newkirk an annoyed look. "Ok, so what happened after you spotted Schmidt with a gun?"
"Well, I didn't want to use a gun," Angel began. "So I started moving in on him and..."
Hogan rolled his eyes. "That was not a smart career move Angel."
Angel shrugged apologetically. "I was doing ok. I'm pretty good at sneaking around in the woods. Besides, just because they're supposedly the master race doesn't mean they're that terribly observant. I got within a couple feet of him before he heard me. He almost shot me but I ducked too fast."
"You're lucky he was going for a head shot then." Kinch told her.
Angel laughed nervously. "Actually, he wasn't. When I say 'ducked', it could be more accurately defined as 'bit the dust.' And I still heard the bullet go past my ear."
"What happened next?" Carter asked eagerly.
"Then my guardian angel stepped in, as near as I can figure." Angel continued. "Some guys from the Underground heard the shot and came running from the other direction. Schimdt turned towards them, so I jumped up and bent a tree branch over his head."
"That took guts." LeBeau said admiringly.
"Or a lot of adrenaline." Angel answered. "Anyway, we managed to drag him back to the barn before he woke up and started hollering in German. We only managed to muffle it by stuffing a rag in his mouth. Of course, we wanted to get him out of there ASAP just in case someone had heard him." Angel paused and shook her head. "But your little British buddy didn't want to leave. Because it was tea time of all things!"
There was a collective groan and Kinch patted Angel's shoulder in sympathy. "Terribly sorry you had to deal with that." He said in his best imitation of proper English.
"Angel, you've got to be kidding." Hogan complained. "Come on now. You're just spinning a story for us, right?"
"I wish I was." Angel replied drily. "By this time, I'm thinking that there is no way these two are going to make it to the sub. Leftenant didn't seem to realize that war is not a civilized business and Schmidt was liable to run off while his captor was breaking for elevensies."
"What are elevensies?" Carter broke in curiously.
"Carter, someday, you and me and Newkirk and Bilbo Baggins will sit down and have a chat about such things." Angel replied.
"Angel, the Leftenant couldn't be as bad as all that." Hogan brought the conversation back around. "He had to make it to that rank somehow. And I can tell you it wasn't by being 'soft.'"
"Crittendon made it to colonel." Angel countered. Colonel Hogan glared at her.
"I believe the correct term is touché." Kinch raised and eyebrow and bit back a smile.
"Anyway, I wasn't at all confident sending those two out by themselves." Angel said, hoping to get back to the story. "So I decided to deliver them myself."
"Of course you did." Hogan grumbled.
"It wasn't that hard, or that far to the pick-up point." Angel pointed out. "All I did was follow Schmidt around with a gun pointed at his back while the Leftenant took care of all the other details of the trip. We almost got lost a couple times and I had to stop him from trying to communicate in badly British accented German." Another groan. "But other than that the escape went off without a hitch. We traveled at night, took turns guarding the prisoner during the day, and reached the subs in good time. Then I handed off my package and came back here."
"To complain." Hogan finished, frowning at her.
"Yep. And to see you guys again." Angel smiled innocently.
"And we're very glad to see you." LeBeau bubbled, ignoring the first reason for Angel's visit. Angel chuckled and bobbed her head.
"Yeah, but she does have a good point." Kinch said thoughtfully. "If Schmidt would have escaped he could have uncovered the whole operation. Like it or not, Colonel, we kind of owe one to Angel."
Hogan didn't seem convinced. "So we made a bad match. What else could we have done? Kept Schmidt down here in the tunnel until we found someone clever enough to transport him to the subs?" He crossed his arms and stared at Angel, waiting for her to come up with a counter argument.
She didn't disappoint him. "Nope. I'm just saying that next time, maybe you should save us all time and trouble and just call me in first thing. Angel Transportation at your service." She made a mock bow.
Hogan sighed and cast his eyes upward. He knew she was teasing him. "Next time, I'll just escort him personally!"
Author's Note: Yes, Angel does seem a little bit full of herself tonight. But it's not very often that she can catch a mistake that the Heroes missed, so she's making the most of it.
