Late September, 1993, London, England
Leon Kirkland sighed deeply and practically threw himself onto his couch. He ran his fingers through his dark hair in frustration and slammed the phone back down on the receiver. In his entire life, he had never felt more miserable or frustrated. He wanted to scream, cry, pull his hair out; anything to stop the pain. There was no way that phone call was real.
"Who was that?" his lover, Emil Steilsson, asked. He soothingly ran his fingers through Leon's hair and kissed his cheek.
Tears were forming in Leon's eyes. "It was my dad," he choked out.
Emil was suddenly alert. "Oh, my God! What happened? Is he alright?"
"Yeah, he's fine," Leon stiffly answered. A couple tears slipped out. "It's Alfred who isn't. He fell today and hit his head." His voice was choked and strained. "Dad was so upset that he could barely speak. He wants me to go to the hospital and see him." Leon shook his head and turned to Emil. "I can't do it, Emil. I just can't."
"Why can't you?" his lover softly asked. "Leon, who knows if this is you last chance to finally make things right between you two?"
"That's why I can't!" the Asian man said, looking over at him. "I don't want this to be the end, Emil! I can't take it if it is! It will mean that I wasted so many years being mad at him and bickering with him only for it to come down to this!"
"And if this is the end for him and you two don't make up, how will you feel?"
That made Leon pause for a moment. "Shit, you're right…" He looked over at Emil. "I can't let things end this way. I really can't…" His lips collided with his lover's cheek. "You're amazing. Where would I be without you?"
Emil blushed and smiled a little. "I've been wondering that myself for awhile." He smirked at Leon. "Now get down to that hospital and go talk to Alfred. He needs you."
Leon stood up and walked over to the door, slipping on his shoes. "You are just…" He let his voice trail off and left it up to Emil's imagination to picture what he really thought of him at that moment in time. He winked at him before blowing him a kiss and heading out the door.
The Icelandic man smiled to himself. Even though Leon was well into his fifties, he never ceased to lose that boyish charm that he had always possessed. It was the thing that had drawn Emil toward him in the first place, and he knew it was the thing he loved most about his beloved. And as he watched Leon leave, he said a silent prayer in his head, hoping that things could be worked out between Leon and his father-figure.
.
Leon burst through the door of Alfred's hospital room like an avalanche. The sight he saw reminded him of himself and Emil when his lover had had surgery a few months before. Arthur was clutching Alfred's hand as he laid in the hospital bed with his eyes closed. His emerald gaze looked up as his son burst through the door, surprised to see him.
"Leon!" Arthur gasped out. "You actually came!" Being nearly seventy years old, it took him a moment to get up from his chair. He got up and met Leon halfway across the room. "It's so good to see you!"
The son embraced his father and held him tight, knowing that his father was going to burst into tears at any given moment. He knew that Arthur had become more fragile as the years went by. Arthur was no longer the stoic man that he was when Leon was in high school; he was now a man who expressed every feeling he felt, almost a little too freely.
After their small reunion, and Arthur showering his son with hugs and kisses, Arthur sat back down next to Alfred's bed and took his lover's hand once again. Leon pulled up another chair on the other side and looked at his father-figure, feeling a lump forming in his throat.
Alfred didn't look so good. He was bruised badly, from what Leon could tell. That fall must've been a nasty one to leave his childhood hero looking so banged up in such a terrible way.
When Leon was a child, he always believed that Alfred was made of steel, a man who was unbreakable. Now, as Leon sat next to the hospital bed, he saw that Alfred was merely a human, just the same as Leon was. Alfred was just as fragile as any other old man. For some reason, it broke Leon's heart. Alfred wasn't supposed to be this fragile! He was supposed to be a hero!
Leon didn't realize his hand was clenched into a fist until Arthur had asked him what was wrong. "Nothing," he grumbled. "It's just wrong. All wrong. All of it." He couldn't keep the anger out of his tone. "Alfred shouldn't be here. He just shouldn't be!" He pounded his fist onto his leg in anger. "He was supposed to be indestructible, Dad!"
Arthur didn't follow Leon's ramblings. "What do you mean, Leon?"
The son didn't want to explain his thoughts, so he merely shook his head and bit his lip. "It's nothing. Forget I said anything."
Alfred began to stir in his bed as his eyes slowly blinked open. "Leon?" he quietly asked. "Is that really you?"
Leon felt his heart skip a beat. Even after all these years of not talking to Alfred, the man still recognized his voice and acknowledged him before his own lover. Tears formed in his eyes. How could he have been so ungrateful to this man for so long, just over a stupid comment when Leon was only a teenager?
"It's me," Leon softly told him, cautiously reaching out for Alfred's other hand. He felt Alfred's fingers attempt to hold his hand back. His tears were now streaming down his cheeks, unable to stay in his eyes any longer. "How are you feeling?"
"Oh, I feel like shit," Alfred muttered. "That was a nasty fall. My back hurts. My head hurts. Everything hurts." He chuckled to himself. "I'm sorry that you had to come all the way here just because of me. I bet Arthur was just hysterical over the phone…"
"No, it's fine," the son assured. "I wanted to come."
Alfred's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "You wanted to?"
Leon looked up at Arthur and cleared his throat, wiping his tears away. "Dad, I don't mean to be rude, but could you give us a moment?"
The gears finally turning in his head, Arthur smiled at his son and Alfred, and slowly got up. "Just let me know when you're done so I can come back in." He kissed Alfred's hand and the top of his son's head before shuffling from the room.
Once they were alone, Alfred and Leon stared at each other for a good thirty seconds. Neither of them knew what to say to each other, or how to begin. Leon felt his heart pounding, but he couldn't even form a word in his mouth. He wondered what Alfred was thinking at the moment.
"What made you want to come see me?" Alfred finally asked him, breaking the barrier between the two.
Leon took in a deep breath and exhaled before answering. "I was so scared, Alfred. I was so scared that you were dying. And I couldn't let things end between us the way they were…" He sighed and frowned before squeezing Alfred's hand.
"When I was a kid, I always thought that you were this indestructible being, this man of steel," he continued. Leon chuckled to himself. "You were my hero. I wanted to be just like you. Hell, I wanted to be you."
Leon looked down into his lap. "And then came that comment during the Korean war, and the bad timing of it." He bit his lip. "I was so heartbroken, Alfred. That comment hurt me so bad, because you were my hero and I felt you were making fun of me and my heritage. What was really going through your head when you said that? Do you even know how many times a day I think back to that moment?"
Alfred sighed. "I think back to that moment a lot as well," he admitted. "And if I could take it back, I would." He frowned. "It's the biggest regret of my life. I shouldn't have said that, because the moment I saw your face fall, I knew it was over. I knew we would never be close again, no matter how badly I wanted to be." He summoned all of the strength he could to squeeze Leon's hand. "Leon, words cannot express how sorry I am for what I said. I should have never said it, and I beg for your forgiveness. I would've begged long before, but I haven't had a conversation this long with you since it happened."
The Asian man struggled to swallow the lump in his throat. "You really mean it?" he asked. Tears were flowing from his eyes like a broken dam. Those were the words he had wanted to hear for so long, but they were the words he refused to listen to.
"Of course I do," Alfred answered. "Leon, you may not be my biological son, but I have always loved you as if you were. You have always been a son to me. I've always had your best interests at heart, and I'll be damned if we don't fix things between us before I leave this earth."
Leon was stunned. He couldn't believe this moment was actually happening. He was really making up with Alfred. This was a real thing. Before he knew what was going on, his arms wrapped loosely around his father-figure, careful not to hurt him as he hugged him.
"I love you, Leon," Alfred told him, hugging him back with what little strength he had in him.
"I love you, too," Leon told whispered to him, "Dad."
