AUTHORS NOTES:

This is my take on the year+ in between season 3 and 4 of Son's of Anarchy while Jax and most of the Son's are locked up. Mainly from Tara's perspective because I always wondered what she felt during that time and what she had to deal with. I am trying to keep this as true to the show as possible including what we know from the appisodes. My goal is to complete all 14 months leading up to Jax's release. Per the usual I own nothing from Son's of Anarchy.

Hope you enjoy my little take on 14 months of SAMCRO's life that we never got to see. Comments and reviews much appreciated.


Day 1

As far as Tara knew her life just turned completely upside down. As she arrived back at Jax's, her, home she shut the door and immediately sank to the floor in tears. Agent Stahl had just outed Jax as a rat in front of the club and now he was in an ATF van being carted off to his evident death at the hands of his brothers. Her mind was reeling… how could this had happened. Jax loved his club. They had just gone half-way around the world to save his son. What was going on.

She was silently thanking God that Abel was with Lyla at Gemma's house. God Gemma… she had to be a wreck as well. Her son's death would fall at her husband's hands.

She ran for the bathroom as she could feel vomit rising. That was when she remembered, with a hand to her stomach, she was pregnant. Her child would grow up fatherless and who knew where Abel would land with Jax's treachery. She may never see that child she considered a son again. It was all too much.

There was a knock at the door. Unsure what to do she grabbed the pistol from her bedroom, the one Gemma had given her and slide in the back of her jeans. "One second", she yelled.

It was one of the new prospects. "What do you want," Tara hissed through the cracked door, eyes bloodshot from tears. She could tell he was visibly nervous, surely all her work with the club had warranted that any harm that could come to her would at least be by the hands of an actual member. The prospect must have heard the gun click from behind the door because he froze, "I am not here to hurt you - promise."

"I have a letter for you - Jax asked me to deliver this and said you need to burn it after you read it," the prospect instructed, "I need to stay and make sure it is burned."

Tara slowly opened the door and let the prospect in, the gun still in her right hand just to be sure. She took the letter and opened it…

Tara,

If you are reading this letter then Jimmy O and Stahle are dead.

I would never betray the club and the deal stands that we will all serve short time.

I hope you can forgive me for everything that happened before I left for Abel.

All I wanted to do is keep you safe. Stay strong for me baby.

I love you more than anything. SAMCRO will look after you and mom. Rosen will be in touch. Love you

-Jax

She laughed a little, relief overcoming her, as she handed the letter over to the prospect to burn. "Doc Ma'am, Opie and the guys want you to come by the club later."

"Yeah ok," Tara said as she smiled and wiped tears from her face. She reached for her phone and called Gemma.

"Hi," Gemma responded, "assuming you had a campfire as well" the sarcasm in her voice gave way to her own personal relief. Tara laughed a little with relief, "yes, thank God. Can I grab Abel from you tonight? Have to stop by and see the guys."

"Of course honey," Gemma replied with a click to her phone.

All Tara could feel was relief. She would worry about the rest of the crap tomorrow - right now her kids had a father. Unsure of what to do she went into autopilot and made her way to Abel's room laundry basket in hand. She grabbed some of his onsies that were dirty and saw Jax's backpack sitting on the futon. She unloaded some very rank clothes, when his hat with a bustle of letters came out. She read the note attached from some woman named Maureen talking about Jax's father. She would have to look at these later, but her interest was peaked. Now she had to go to the club house.

She pulled into Teller-Morrow automotive, SAMCROs clubhouse and Opie immediately came outside, arms open wide. "Come here Doc," he said in his pure voice. She fell into his arms and let out once single whimper as Opie provided some sense of assurance and stability. "Sorry we gave you a scare there. You ok?" Opie was a tough biker but also a gentle soul, this was part of the reason Jax and him were such good friends. Tara fought back anymore tears, looked up with a half smile and nodded yes. Opie smiled down back at her, "Come on - we have to chat."

Chibs and Piney were waiting inside as they led Tara to the set of old sofas that made up what the guys thought was a seating area. Piney was the first to speak, "Doc, this is how it works, Jax is in prison, you are his old lady… you are under the protection of SAMCRO. You need something - you come to us. We got prospects ready to help out with the crap." He let out a struggled breath from behind his oxygen lead and continued, "Look, Gemma's locked down for six months and I am sorry darling but Jax is number two, which makes you number two, which means your currently number one."

"What does that even mean," Tara asked. Opie jumped in, "not much different than what you have been doing. We may need some assistance here and there, but we know that your a doc, Doc." Tara sunk back in the old sofa even more, unknowingly putting a hand to her stomach. Opie gave her a sympathetic look - he knew what she was about to go through, he had seen it, well not actually seen but lived through it with Donna when he was locked up.

"Guessing SAMRCO doesn't offer maternity leave…" Tara half joked. Chibs broke his silence, "sure we do, once Gemma is out, then life of luxury for you Doc." She could tell the three guys were trying their best to lighten the mood, make her feel secure, and to some extent she did.

Opie offered her a hand to get up from the couch and walked her to the old cutlass outside. "Hey Tara," Opie said, it was rare for a member to not call her doc, "I just wanted to let you know that yeah SAMCRO has got your back, but Lyla and I are here for you too. I mean Jax is my brother and not just my sons brother… you know?" Tara smiled at him, yeah Opie had a big heart. "Thanks Op," Tara replied as she got behind the wheel. Opie leaned through the window and handed her an envelope of cash, "too keep you going while Jax is out." She smiled and took the envelope then had a realization, "you do know that I am a real life doctor right?" Opie was smiling, "just take the cash Tara, its your right as an old lady." She half laughed as she put the envelope in her bag, "oh hey Opie… never tell him I said that" she joked as she drove off toward Gemma's house to get Abel and head home for the night.