Note: Correctly formatted, the title is "i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)". The title is stolen from e.e. cummings.
The thing is, she thinks when Julian hits on her yet again at their weekly breakfast together, part of her would like to say yes. Part of her is thoroughly charmed, flattered that she would be the object of such attention. But another part of her always stops her tongue before she can utter an acceptance.
He's so young, even for a human, she finds herself thinking. She could so easily break his heart.
Lela's voice, with the authoritative ring of experience, echoes in her mind. You have a heart as well.
She looks at Julian, at his open face and nervous smile. He's doing this more out of habit than because he actually expects her to say yes, but she can tell he's still just a bit hopeful. Jadzia has always liked his romanticism.
He'd take her rejection with the good grace he always shows. She's watched him pick himself up countless times before. The first time, she'd expected him to go to pieces, but over the past three years, she's found that he's stronger than he looks, and sometimes he surprises her with wisdom beyond his years.
And despite the reputation he made for himself in their first year on the station, he would hold her heart with infinite care.
"All right," she says. "Yes." She doesn't even know what she's agreed to; she lost the thread of his latest suggestion for a date a while ago.
He blinks, momentarily stunned. "You...really?" She nods, enjoying the sunburst of emotions on his expressive face. "It's just that I never expected you to be interested in early twentieth century Earth films."
She isn't, actually. But she says, "Tobin was a vid buff. I'm sure I'll enjoy it." Besides, if this works out, next time she can take him rafting on the river near Jadzia's hometown on Trill, a program with whom she's never found quite the right person to share. There are a lot of things she'd like to share with him.
She stands up, and he joins her, still looking a bit bewildered. It's adorable, she finally admits to herself. Impulsively, she kisses his cheek. "I'll see you tonight?" she asks.
Dumbstruck, he nods. She tells him goodbye and heads for Ops, her heart already buoyed.
