Author's note: I wrote this during English..and my annoying teacher (hereby reffered to as Mr. R) kept walking by when I was writing it and I'd flip to the newspaper story I was 'supposedly' writing for class and he caught me flipping pages once and said, "You don't have to hide." And I'm like, "Yes, I do."
And this is based of the show Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends, who aren't actually that amazing, so here you are. The X-men keep showing up, so yeah. And..crap, now I forgot.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a pineapple and a notebook and a crappy pen. Not any of this.
Announcer (Stan Lee): It's time for an exciting episode of SPIDER-MAN AND HIS not so AMAZING FRIENDS..And sometimes maybe the X-men...
Spider-Man: But hey, it's just all about me.
Iceman: Yeah, you go on believing that one, Spidey.
Wolverine: And SOMETIMES MAYBE THE X-MEN? We're on practically every episode, saving your ass, Spider-Man!
(pause)
Cyclops:...FIRESTAR'S A SLUT.
Firestar: No way! I've only gone out with every guy in the X-men..oh and Spider-man and the Hulk and the Thing and Mr. Fantastic and The Human Torch--what a hottie-- and Daredevil and Batman...
Beast: Hey, Batman's not even in this universe!
Colossus: Yeah, we already knew that.
Storm: Thanks, Captain Obvious.
Xavier: Wait...aren't we, like, supposed to be doing something?
Kitty Pride: (from the speakerphone) HELP ME! MAGNETO IS HOLDING ME FOR RANSOM! DIDN'T YOU GET THE MEMO!
Nightcrawler: Hmm..what's that noise?
Spider-man: I'm hungry.
Kitty: SAVE ME! HE SAYS HE'S GOING TO FEED ME BROCCOLI IF YOU DON'T PAY THE RANSOM!
Wolverine: And? So?
Iceman: Who's up for pizza?
Kitty: I'M ALLERGIC TO BROCOLLI! I'LL DIE!
Xavier: Chillax, Kitty.
Cyclops: I want pepperoni.
Beast: I'll call Pizza Hut.
Storm: Ew, no. What are you, stupid? Domino's has the best.
Cyclops: Yeah, Beast.
Kitty: WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING ME! PLEASE--HELP!
Firestar: Whatever. Get cheese pizza.
Storm: (on the phone) Hello, yes? Domino's? I want 5 large--
Xavier: Make it 7. Magneto's coming over tonight for poker and you know how much he eats..
Spider-Man: No, how much does he eat?
Xavier: I..that was a...nevermind, Spider-Man.
Kitty: WHAT THE HELL!
Storm: Okay, 7 pizzas. 4 pepperonis, 1 cheese and--
Wolverine: MEAT LOVER'S! (growl)
Storm:---right, Meat Lovers...
Storm: WHAT? $29.99? (eyes light up) (screams are heard on other end of the phone) $19.99..Don't believe what they say about lightning never striking in the same place twice..(more screams)$9.99 is good, thank you. How long will that be? 60 minutes is bit long, don't you think? Something...shocking...might happen...oh, 15 minutes is much better. Thank you. (hangs up)
Beast: Good job, Storm. Your powers of persuasion are unreal.
Storm: Beast. Stop hitting on me! I thought you were gay.
Beast: (shifty eyes) Er..no.
Cyclops: Well, everyone thinks so..you know, with that haircut and those clothes and your beautiful brown eyes..
Spider-Man: Hey, whatever happened to that one girl?
Wolverine: Kitty?
(pause)
Xavier: Oh..shit. I forgot to reply to the ransom note..no use trying to save her now, Magneto was always a stickler for time...He said, "10:50, if I don't get the money she's dead."
Spider-Man: What time is it now?
Iceman: 11:00.
Firestar: Oh Iceman I LOVE YOU. (starts making out with him)
Beast: That's odd. If she's heat and he's ice, why doesn't he melt?
Wolverine: Who the hell cares, you fag.
Xavier: Where's the pizza?
Announcer: And we leave our hungry heroes in wait for the pizza...
Next time on SPIDERMAN AND HIS NOT SO AMAZING FRIENDS AND SOMETIME MAYBE THE X-MEN!
Juggernaut: (burst open door) I'm the Juggernaut!
Storm: For once it's not Beast who's pointing out the obvious.
AN: Like it, hate it? Whatev. Just.review or sumthin, because hell, I liked this. Yeah. I've got to go watch CSI now..
