Splinter
"I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." – H.D.T.
"But only in their dreams can men truly be free. Twas always thus, and always thus will be."
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Everything is changed.
The boy, already hopelessly tangled in his sheets, tossed once more. His eyes were tightly shut, warding off something he did not want to see. Did not want to know. His face was flushed and perspiration clung to his skin. The dream reached out and dragged him reluctantly back into the dark.
Nothing is the same.
He walked, reluctantly, down a dark path through woods full of trees with branches more like arms. He dodged a few fearfully, as though they were reaching for him.
"Todd."
The voice hissed through the dry leaves, vestiges of a brighter, warmer spring. He jumped and turned, searching the browning twilight. His eyes darted to and fro, unaware that beside him, a man with wild hair and glowing eyes had taken up walking with him.
"Todd." A word so infused with disappointment, Todd looked to his left, expecting to see his father. When he saw the wild-haired man, he yelped. It was muted by the oppressive forest, as was the crack of branches when Todd stumbled back into them.
All the while the man stared. His glowing eyes laughed, as the young man cowered before him. Shaking his head the man opened his mouth, "A sweaty-toothed madman, with a stare that pounds my brain."
Todd scrabbled backward on the decaying foliage littering the floor. He wanted to scream then, but he could not. His mouth worked but nothing save for terrified whimpers escaped.
"Todd." The man crouched in front of him. "You cannot stay. Everything's changed."
He shook his head vehemently. "No. I liked it the way it was. Change it back."
"I cannot. Truth like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold." His hand reached out.
"No."
"Todd."
"I can't."
"You must." The man's hand closed over his shoulder and Todd struggled. "From the moment we enter crying…Todd. Believe."
"I can't!" Todd screamed.
"You can."
He shook his head and put his hands up to ward the man off. Suddenly, the madman disappeared. Shaking, Todd curled into himself.
Mr. Keating stood across the clearing, eyes full of compassion and challenge. "You can. Carpe diem, Todd. Seize the day."
Todd nearly threw himself from the bed as he escaped the last misty clutches of the dream world. Great soughing breaths were torn from his chest as he dragged his legs up. Wrapping his arms around them, he let his head fall down onto the tops of his knees.
"I can't; I can't; I can't," he chanted in a near-silent whisper. His eyes darted across the room as Neil groaned quietly in his sleep. Tormented, Todd pressed his forehead ever tighter against his knees. Denying the feeling churning in his stomach, he whispered ever louder. "No; no; no!"
The quiet whisper of sheets from across the room alerted Todd he was no longer alone in the night air. He tipped his head and looked at Neil, who was up on his elbows, eyes trained on him, unerringly, in the dark.
"Todd?" Neil's voice was scratchy with sleep. "You all right?"
"Y –" He almost lied. But staring into his friend's worried face, illuminated by the near-full moon, he found he couldn't. "No."
Neil shoved himself into a sitting position. "What's the matter?"
"Just a dream." Todd attempted a laugh. It sounded like a dying cat. Neil rose to cross to him.
"About what?"
"A sweaty-toothed madman."
Neil chuckled softly and sank onto the end of Todd's bed. "That was something else, today, Todd." His encouraging smile had Todd's desire to burst into tears evaporating. Feeling foolish, Todd shrugged one shoulder.
"It's nothing."
Neil shook his head. "No, it was something, Todd. Everyone in there knew it."
"I didn't. I don't." Todd shrugged again. "It was just a stupid poem."
His roommate sighed in the dark, his expression hidden by the dark of the side of the room. "Todd. Don't."
"Don't what?"
"Don't let what happened today become just another conformity- another way they can shove you into the mold." Neil laughed, but it was a bitter, angry sound. "I won't be made small ever again. We're bigger than they're making us."
"How do you know?" Todd whispered.
"I didn't. Until today." Even in the near-blinding darkness, he could feel Neil's smile. "Today, everything changed."
Nothing was the same.
"But…"
Keating's voice echoed in his head. There is a time for daring…a time for caution, Todd sighed heavily, scraping a hand over his face.
Neil patted his back encouragingly. "Go back to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day, for both of us. Carpe Diem," he whispered before leaving Todd on his bed, still tangled in his sheets.
Don't you forget this.
Todd straightened his bedsheets before lying back against the pillow. He stared up at the ceiling for a long minute before sighing heavily. "I won't." He turned his head and pulled the covers to his chin. "I can't."
