"Karen, there's someone at the door, I'll just be a sec." Jack Quade padded barefoot to the door of his home he shared with his colleague Dan Goldman, wearing only a white towel wrapped around his hips.
He opened the door and was surprised to see another colleague of his, Gabrielle Jaeger. And she was carrying a carton of beer. "Uh, a mate's just dropped over, I have to go," he said to his counsellor. "Gabrielle Jaeger. Yeah, that Gabrielle. But she has alcohol so I'll forget that. OK, I'll see you Wednesday… bye." He hit the end button on the phone and faced to look at Gabrielle. "You couldn't find any better company than me?" Jack asked, a smile playing on his lips.
"Steve's gone to a meeting and besides, I was in the mood for getting drunk," she admitted. "Who was that and why does she know me?"
"That was my counsellor, and she knows most of my colleagues – she especially knows you because you were such a cow over the Rachel thing."
Gabrielle looked indignant. "I was a cow? You were the one who humiliated her into quitting!" She couldn't help but notice how well-built Jack was – you couldn't really tell under the sleeved shirts he liked to wear because he was so tall and slim, but he was quite muscular. Certainly prettier to look at than Steve, who didn't do much in the way of exercise and who continued to carry around a well-earned beer gut.
Jack grinned at her. He couldn't resist stirring her up – besides, he had a definite clothed advantage over her, he figured he was entitled to unsettle her just a bit. "For what it's worth, I felt pretty bad about Rachel. I talked about it a lot so your name came up a few times."
They eyed each other off for a few more seconds, then Jack said, "Look, make yourself at home, but I need to get dressed."
"Have you been in a towel this whole time?" she asked a minute later. For some reason she hadn't bothered to sit down, instead, standing outside Jack's room, talking to him through the door. By 'this whole time' she meant the six hours since they'd all been dismissed and the ED had been shut down for the day.
It had been a hairy experience for them all – Jack being knocked out by a bomb blast and nearly being killed, the rest of the ED help at gunpoint… she shivered as she remembered. She had honestly thought she was going to die.
Afterwards, she had wanted to spend time with her ex-boyfriend Steve, but Steve had opted to go to a meeting instead – said he was so wound up, if he didn't consult with his sponsor, he'd hit the bottle. Gabrielle understood and respected that he was trying to stay on the wagon, but she really wanted some company…
So Jack Quade had come to mind. They had become quite good friends since he'd returned to the ED a few months ago, after quitting following a rough patch in his life. He was easy to talk to (and being Nursing Unit Manager could be a bitch, the nurses didn't appreciate anything she did and the doctors looked down at her), was good with rosters – not to mention neck rubs – there were certainly worse people for company.
"No, I went to see my sister," Jack said.
"I didn't realize you had a sister."
"Well, half-sister. I only found out she existed three years ago, when our mum was dying and she wanted to locate me. Uh, she dumped me with my father when I was eighteen months old," Jack explained. "Anyway, Bec heard about it on the news so I was somewhat obliged to go over there first to prove I was in one piece. So I only got back forty-five minutes ago, enough time to have a shower and call Karen." Jack emerged from his room, dressed in tracksuit pants and a T-shirt and Gabrielle handed him a beer. "Ta," he said. "God, I've missed having drinks in my own home."
"I know," Gabrielle agreed. "I feel like I can't have anything around in case Steve gets tempted." She had told Jack about Steve's drinking – something which hadn't impressed Steve in the least. Steve and Jack had got off on the wrong foot on day one, and never rectified their differences. But Gabrielle knew Jack could keep a secret, and he was good to talk to when things with Steve got too much.
"At least it's not that bad with Dan," Jack said. "One drink won't set him onto a course of self-destruction, but I feel kind of bad, throwing it in his face that he can't drink."
Impulsively, she touched his cheek. She liked the way he was receptive to her touch; Jack was a man who didn't like to be touched, so it gave her a nice feeling that he didn't seem to mind when she touched him. "I think it's really sweet that you've given up drinking at home for Dan," she said.
Jack shrugged. "He's been a good mate to me. I never thought I'd get along so well with a guy but we do. I couldn't just throw his inability to drink in his face like that." He led her to the couch. "How are you feeling?" he asked her.
"I'm fine."
"You had a gun pointed at you, you can't be fine," he said. "I've had blood-filled syringes held to my neck, that was scary enough. I can't fathom what it must have been like for you."
Gabrielle started to shiver. Jack drew her into his arms and pulled the throw rug over her. "Poor baby," he said soothingly. "It's alright. I'm here. I've got you." He didn't know how he'd gotten into this position – holding Gabrielle Jaeger as she worked through a hysterical episode – but it felt right.
"Jack, I thought I was going to die," she admitted. "She was just so… I mean, she wasn't even thinking logically. Stealing medication is one thing, killing someone because you're pissed off… she looked at me like I was a cockroach that was annoying her… not a human being."
He kissed the top of her head. "It must have been awful," he said sympathetically. He didn't know what else to say, but he had a feeling it was enough just to have someone who understood. He hadn't been there, but he'd suffered in another way from James and Melissa's madness… they had blown up the freaking Pathology lab to cause a distraction… Jack wasn't sure how many people had died just as a result of the bomb blast…
It made him sick to think about it. And it made him angry to think that the hospital had such lousy security – they should have picked up a bomb planted, they should have known sooner that the ED was under lockdown… He squeezed Gabrielle tighter.
After a few minutes, she calmed down. "Sorry," she sniffled.
"It's OK. I figure I owe karma some sympathy to others. Feeling a bit better?"
She smiled sheepishly. "A bit," she admitted. "Thanks." She didn't leave his arms. It felt nice, cuddled up to him. He had strong arms and a muscular chest and he made her feel safe. "You can't be feeling too well yourself," she murmured.
"I'm fine. I had a good talk with my counsellor."
Gabrielle found herself chuckling. "How did you get a counsellor so quickly?" she asked.
"I didn't. Karen's been my counsellor since I came back to the ED."
He felt Gabrielle go completely still in his arms as her mind ticked over. "You mean Karen Haynes?" she asked.
It was more of a statement than a question, and Jack couldn't bring himself to deny it. He had spent too much of his life hiding what had happened to him to do it now. "Yeah," he admitted huskily, knowing what was coming.
"Jack, she's a sexual assault counsellor." One of the best in the state, actually, who just happened to work at All Saints Western General.
"Yeah." Jack's voice was even more husky, tentative, trying to work out what Gabrielle was thinking, terrified of being rejected again – even just by a friend.
Gabrielle looked up at him, meeting his eyes. He had such beautiful eyes, she realized, so expressive… and sad. "Oh, Jack," she said sympathetically. "When? How? I mean, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
"It's OK. He stroked her hair. He'd had a fair bit to drink and it had made him mellow, but he wasn't drunk. "I was thirteen. Do you remember a patient we had about six months ago, Patrick Wesley? My friend Travis took a carving knife to his groin."
Gabrielle remembered it because it had been a particularly nasty crime, and something had registered in the back of her mind that it seem like retribution for a sex criminal. Maybe she hadn't really thought about it because she hadn't wanted to make the connection between Patrick and Travis, and Travis and Jack… "Yeah," she said. "That was nasty."
"Not as nasty as what he did to us and God knows who else. My childhood wasn't very happy, I'm the result of a one-night stand between a barmaid and a married man who couldn't keep it in his pants. I went to live with my dad when I was eighteen months old, and my stepmother hated me. I can't stay I blame her really. Dad was so obvious with his screwing around, had such a sense of entitlement about it, and I was an easy target for Stella's anger. I wouldn't like having evidence of my partner's infidelity in my face all the time – but I was just a kid… I didn't have a lot in my life that was good and Patrick was like a second father to me – a father who actually gave a shit about me. He made me feel good about myself. I used to go over there and he'd find me odd jobs to do for cash, let me crash in the spare room and use it to study… One day I woke up and he'd gotten my clothes off… I fought but he said if I screamed he wouldn't use lubricant and that would hurt a lot more… he raped me and when I tried to tell Stella she told me I was making up it and made me keep going back…"
At this point, Jack buried his head in her shoulder. Being knocked out by a bomb didn't phase him, but talking about his sexual abuse brought him to tears… Gabrielle wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers along the bare skin. "I'm so sorry," she said sympathetically. Her own first experience with sex hadn't been great, but to have that happen to you…
For a few minutes he cried into her shoulder and she held him. He dug his fingers into her arms, and she steeled herself not to flinch. It hurt, but she could deal.
After a few minutes, he raised his head and looked her in the eyes. She was struck by the odd thought of just how beautiful he looked, so vulnerable and open to her. Jack was so guarded about his private life – she was beginning to understand why now – and right now, it was like she could see into his soul through his tear-filled eyes. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm not normally such a baby."
Impulsively, she kissed him on the cheek. "I think you're incredibly strong," she whispered in his ear. "I can't imagine what it takes to get on with your life after something like that."
He smiled ruefully. "I made a real mess of things at times," he admitted. "So many women I didn't give a crap about just to prove I was straight. I'd feel so dirty after it was over, I couldn't kid myself that I hadn't used them, but while I was doing it… I'd feel like such a man, one hundred percent hetero… shit, I can't believe what a shit I was, I lost you a nurse over it."
He'd been relieving hell, and he thought she gave a shit about Rachel? "She was kind of an idiot anyway," Gabrielle offered. "She had the biggest crush on you, I tried to tell her you didn't have a very good track record but she slept with you anyway. Maybe you should have been more aware of how she felt about you, but going to bed with someone who's just had a close friend die isn't the cleverest thing to do. I would have expected that of someone five years younger and much flightier, not Rachel."
Jack made a face. "I hope you know I wouldn't have touched her had she been five years younger."
"Yeah, I do. But I'm just saying… you shouldn't beat yourself up over it too badly. She knew what she was doing and you didn't give her any hint that there was something more to it… did you?"
Jack shook his head."As lousy as I've acted sometimes, I've never said anything I didn't mean to get laid. I told her she was beautiful and all that but I never promised her a relationship or even a date, and I certainly didn't tell her I loved her. It's been years since I told a woman I loved her. Other than Bec."
She snuggled into Jack's arms. She was a bit tipsy, and he felt so nice. "Sometimes I wonder if Steve ever loved me," she admitted.
"What makes you say that?"
"He cheated on me a lot. Only one time I definitely know about, but I kept getting this sense that there were other women. He lied a lot to hide his drinking and screwing around – you don't do that to someone you love, do you?"
"How many relationship have you had, Gabby?" Jack asked. "It's just that I get the impression you haven't had a lot of experience with men to know that's not the way you treat someone you love." Gabrielle squirmed. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"It's fine, Jack. It's just that there's only been Steve and it's a bit embarrassing to admit that."
"I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think if you find someone you connect with, there's no reason to see what else is there. I'm still looking for someone like that... who I have great sex with, too," he added with a smile. He'd settle for just that, sometimes. It had been ages since he'd been with a woman he had a decent sexual connection with – but picking up women at random in bars was hardly conducive to that.
Gabrielle squirmed again. "That's just it. I mean, I thought we had a great connection but... I was only sixteen when we started going out and I was so infatuated with him... when we got back together, there were all these things about him which I think were always there, but when I was with him before I didn't see them. And I never really liked sex."
Jack laughed. "Come on, there must have been some good moments."
Gabrielle shrugged. "Our first time was in the back of his ute. I didn't really want to, or at least I didn't plan to, but we'd both been drinking and one thing led to another... with him it was always just in, pump it for a few minutes and he was done."
Jack made a face. "I think that's the most revolting recount of sex I've ever heard. I never got how men can be so selfish in bed. And how much older than you is he, anyway?"
"Ten years," Gabrielle admitted. She couldn't help but shiver at Jack's comment about not getting how men could be so selfish in bed (or the back of a ute). Rachel had poured her heart out to Gabrielle over Jack's cavalier treatment of her, and she'd gone into a fair amount of detail about just how good Jack was in bed. No wonder she'd fallen for him hard by the end of the night.
Was it her imagination, or did the feel of Jack's arms around her waist just become a little more sensual?
Jack whistled. "That's... actually a little creepy," he said. "That would be like me dating a sixteen-year-old now. Christ, no wonder you don't like sex, if he's the only guy you've been with. He probably goes after 'em young so they don't realise how inadequate he is."
"Jack, don't say that about him."
"Why not? It's probably the truth. There's no way I'd go after someone that young, or be so selfish in bed. God, how can you not want to make a woman come? I hate lousy sex."
He looked up at him. Their eyes connected, and there was obvious chemistry between them. "Me too," she said, and kissed him.
She'd never made the first move, and kissing Jack felt strange – but exhilarating. He resisted her for a second so she tentatively applied more pressure, pushing her tongue into his mouth, running it over his teeth until he shuddered with desire he didn't knew he possessed and opened his mouth.
He was far less delicate than Gabrielle had been with him. He plunged his tongue into her mouth, exploring it without reserve, her lips, her teeth, her tongue... he maneuvered them so he was on top, reversing their positions. Gabrielle knew without asking that he was a man who liked to be on top.
Even balancing himself on his knees, his weight was forcing her deep into the couch, and she loved it. He cupped her neck on one side and trailed kisses down her face and other side of her neck. "You're beautiful," he said huskily as he started kissing along her collarbone. He moved his hands down the front of her body, under her t-shirt. She shivered when he ran his hands along her bare skin and bucked up against him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her hands down his back.
The effect of her gyrating against him was almost immediate and Jack reluctantly pulled away. "I think you should go home," he said thickly.
"Why?"
"Gabby, I can't promise you anything. I have no idea how I'll feel in the morning and I don't want to hurt you by letting you think something might happen when I can't promise it."
She wrapped his arms around his neck and looked into his eyes. "We both need this," she said. "I'm not asking anything for tomorrow. Why don't we decide what we want tomorrow... and agree we can just go back to the way things were yesterday."
"You can do that?" he asked.
Gabrielle nodded. "Take me to bed, Jack," she said.
Jack got off her and stood up, holding his hand out for hers. She gave it to him, and he pulled her up and into his arms. Gabrielle squealed in delight and pressed her head against his chest. It felt so surreal, being carried by a man she'd only ever thought of as a colleague to his bedroom to spend the night with him...
She shivered as he lay her down gently and lay on his side next to her. "You OK?" he asked. She nodded. "We don't have to do this."
"Jack, I want to. It's just... I've never done this before. I'm nervous."
He kissed her on the mouth. "Just follow my lead. And tell me if I'm going too fast, or you don't like what I'm doing. I hate women who keep quiet if they're not enjoying it." He started kissing down her face and neck, pulling at the bottom of her t shift, making her gasp and squirm. She ran her fingers through his hair, down his back, pulling up his own t shirt so she could run her hands along the bare skin of his back.
He climbed on top of her, pushing her into the mattress in a similar way to how he'd pushed her into the couch. The strength of his body was a turn on. And he was a good kisser. He flicked his tongue in and our of her mouth, exploring thoroughly, kissing her all over his face as if he could memorise the feel of her with his lips and tongue.
They began making out without doing much to remove each other's clothes. Jack was incredibly tactile – at least when it came to the women he was involved with – and when Gabrielle wrapped her legs around his waist, he groaned and bucked against her, his erection obvious against her thigh. She wound her hand down to his crotch and smiled pleasedly when she felt just how hard he was – and how big. "Lucky me," she murmured with a cheeky smile.
"Oh, God, don't do that," he groaned when she began rubbing her palm against his crotch. "I'll come and look like an idiot."
"Really? When was the last time you were with someone?"
"There hasn't been anyone since Mercedes. Please, Gabby, stop it. I'm serious." He bit his lip and groaned with pleasure. He had never been one for masturbating, preferred even the illusion of intimacy that a casual pickup offered, and Gabrielle was playing on the fact he was desperately horny. And she seriously seemed to know what she was doing. If she didn't stop, he wouldn't last more than a few minutes.
Gabrielle smiled when she saw the effect she was having on Jack. His eyes were shut and he was groaning softly as she rubbed him. It was a kick to have Jack so desperately hot for her. "What's your recovery time like?" she asked provocatively. Steve always struggled to get it up more than once in a night – at least with her.
"Depends on how I feel, but with you – less than an hour... oh, God." His tracksuit pants, designed to be a loose fit, were feeling uncomfortably tight.
He was too worked up to resist when she wriggled out from under him and pushed him onto his back, her hand not leaving his crotch. She ran her free hand down his shirt, unbuttoning it, kissing his bare chest as she went down. He was squirming on the bed and groaning, his breathing became laboured. "You don't have to," he said, utterly without conviction as she pulled at the tie of his tracksuit pants.
"I want to," she said, and she was surprised at how much she wanted to. With Steve, a blow job had always been so demeaning but with Jack...
He groaned louder when she pulled down his pants and boxers... "OK, seriously, stop. There's something you need to know." He watched him curiously. "That bastard made me go down on him so many times I lost count. I can't stand the taste. I mean, I really can't stand it, makes me throw up. I don't want to offend you by asking you to rinse your mouth out later so you don't have to do it. I don't want to upset you."
Gabrielle realised how hard it was for Jack to tell her that. She also couldn't begrudge him that particular hang-up. She couldn't imagine how degrading it must have been for him to be forced to do that. "It's fine, Jack," she said. "I'll rinse my mouth out."
"Are you sure? I don't want to force you into anything"
Gabrielle had to laugh. "If I didn't know you better, I'd say you don't want a blow job. Why don't you just lay back and relax and let me do my job."
So Jack lay back and tried to relax. He found it was easy with Gabrielle. She knew what she was doing; he didn't realise it came from years of dealing with Steve's libido, which was often undermined by his drinking. That Jack was sober and in good physical condition was a treat for her.
Jack groaned and writhed as Gabrielle worked him through. He felt himself starting to climax and when it happened, it was intense. By the time she was done he felt drained in a fantastic way. He lay on his bed, prostrate, basking in the afterglow of the experience. "Where's your bathroom?" she asked.
"Down the hall."
Gabrielle was back in a few minutes. Jack had put his boxers back on and reached out his arm to her. She cuddled up to him. He could smell the mouthwash on her, and it touched him deeply that she was so accommodating. "Thanks for understanding," he said. "I have a lot of hang-ups, it's hard to talk about them."
She ran her fingers over his chest. "I'm glad you could trust me." She felt so good in his arms and he'd barely touched her. It had been less than an hour but they had an incredible connection. She was beginning to think maybe this could be more than a one-night release...
"Look, I hate to spoil the mood but we need to talk about protection. I hate using condoms but I don't want to risk my health... I trust you but I don't trust Steve so if you have any doubt at all..."
Gabrielle gave a cynical laugh. "After we broke up the first time, I found out I had Chlamydia. It was humiliating. There was no way I wasn't using condoms for at least three months. He wasn't happy with it but I didn't give him the choice."
Jack kissed her. "Good girl." He couldn't believe some of the reckless behaviour he saw from women sometimes who felt they couldn't insist their boyfriends use condoms. "What about birth control? Are you on anything?" The last thing he needed was another pregnancy resulting from a one-night stand.
Suddenly Gabrielle went stiff in his arms. "I don't think this is such a good idea," she said. "I should go home."
Jack wrapped his arms around her from behind before she could so much as get off the bed. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing's wrong. I just don't think this is a good idea anymore."
"You were fine with it a minute ago, until I asked you about birth control. Are you infertile?" She tensed up and Jack knew he was on the right track. "What happened?"
"I had a really bad miscarriage at seven months when I was nineteen," she admitted. "Steve was driving and he was drunk... they did test after test and I was told it wasn't likely I'd conceive again."
Jack kissed her gently on the side of her head. "I'm so sorry," he said. He didn't know what else to say.
"The pathetic thing was, he never wanted it. He hated the idea of becoming a father. If I'd just had an abortion when he'd told me to –"
"Don't think like that," he ordered her.
"Don't patronise me, Jack. You have no idea what it's like for me. I'm twenty-four and I think about having a child all the time. You can't possibly know what that's like."
"I know that when Charlotte told me she was pregnant, I was so angry with her. I thought she'd planned it, thought she'd got me drunk deliberately so I'd have sex with her. Eventually I came around to the idea and actually looked forward to it. It gave me a lot of closure about what a shit father I had and how I was going to do so much better a job – I was so angry when she miscarried, it wasn't fair that I came to terms with it only for that to happen. I was twenty-four and I'd never thought about having a kid before, but ever since, it's always on my mind. I get clucky when I see young families and if it's a girl about the right age, well, I just think about what could have been and it still hurts. And I know I can still have kids. I can't imagine what it would be like for you."
Gabrielle was crying now. He didn't move from his position but continued to hold her. "I'm sorry, I'm never like this," she said tearfully.
"It's fine. I'm glad you could open up to me." God knew, Steve wasn't much in the sensitive and supportive stakes. "Look, what do you want to do? I don't want to push you when you're emotional –"
"I want this, Jack. I want to... lose myself tonight."
"OK." He heard the vulnerability in her voice and spent a few seconds weighing the morality of the question. Gabrielle was vulnerable and maybe she didn't need this but... he somehow knew why she needed him; he needed her the same way.
He sensed that she needed to take things slow, and he began kissing her softly along her neck. He ran his hands up and down her arms until she was shivering. Steve had never taken so much time getting her into it. It occurred to her that Jack was seducing her, and she badly needed seducing after being with someone as selfish and inept as Steve. "Jack..." she groaned when he began applying more pressure to her arms and moved one hand to her torso, under her singlet.
He maneuvered himself so she was lying on her back with him on his side next to her. He inched her singlet up slowly, kissing and caressing every inch of skin as he went up, until he reached her breasts and pulled the material over her head. He started kissing and caressing her breasts until she was squirming and sighing under him. Jack was awakening feelings she'd never felt, feelings of lust and desire... she felt herself shudder as Jack began working his way down after devoting ten minutes to her breasts, anticipating what he was going to do...
When he got to the waistband of her pants, he slowly pulled them down so she was clad only in her panties. He kissed her along her thighs until she started trashing around frantically. He smiled to himself. She was so easy to turn on.
He realised she'd never had an orgasm before so he needed to take things easy with her. He hooked his thumbs under her panties and pulled them down with deliberate slowness until she was panting with anticipation. He knew if she was bold enough, she'd be begging him to go down on her, but the fact she wasn't bold enough was part of her charm.
Steve had always refused to go down on her, claiming it was 'dirty', so she was a little squeamish about the idea, but Jack wasn't about to be deterred. He enjoyed making women feel great in bed, more so because Gabrielle had such lousy luck with Steve. He used his fingers and tongue to great effect until she was screaming with complete abandon. He had trouble holding her still enough to keep on task and managed it by keeping his lower arm pressed down on her torso; that was going to hurt tomorrow, but she was sure to think it was worth it.
Gabrielle screamed out Jack's name as she climaxed over and over. When he was satisfied he'd made a fair dent on her repressed sexuality, he brought her back to reality slowly enough the shock wouldn't jar her. He stood up and watched her from the foot of the bed. She was flushed and glowing. She looked beautiful. "You ready, sweetheart?" he asked. She nodded. He pulled down his boxers to reveal an impressive erection. Gabrielle already knew it was big from going down on him, but the idea of having him inside her was something else entirely... she reached out for him and spread her legs wider.
He knelt between her legs and positioned himself to penetrate her. "This may be a little uncomfortable for a bit," he acknowledged apologetically. "Let me know if it's too much, I don't want you to keep quiet because you don't want to ruin it for me, OK?" Gabrielle nodded. Jack trusted his ability to read her body language but he didn't entirely trust Gabrielle to keep quiet if he was too rough with her, she didn't exactly have a great track record when it came to speaking up about bad sex.
Slowly, he pushed inside her until he was buried in her. She was wet and slippery but was still tight. He could feel her opening up to him, she was so tight, tighter than he expected. He watched her face. She seemed to be handling it OK. She smiled at him encouragingly, as if to tell him that if he was hurting her, it couldn't be helped and he was doing his best to make it as easy as possible.
He stayed still inside her for several minutes, kissing her face and breasts as he gave her time to get used to him. Eventually, he started moving inside her, slowly at first, then picking up speed. He brought one hand down to start stroking her in her most private of places, and after a few minutes, she started to climax again.
Jack was nothing if not a consummate lover. His own first experiences with sex had been painful and humiliating, and he couldn't do that to someone else. Half his pleasure came from hearing her scream, feeling her buck and writhe underneath him. It wasn't long before she was getting the hang of good sex and taking her initiative, stroking his back, wrapping her legs around his waist, matching his rhythm, calling out his name as she climaxed.
He nearly screamed himself as he came, slamming into her – momentarily forgetting he was trying not to be rough, not that she cared – and losing himself in a release of intensity he'd never felt before. He buried his face in her neck and struggled not to cry.
She sensed his restraint and stroked his hair gently, something he seemed to like. "It's OK," she said. "Let go if you need to."
He'd never had sex with a woman who knew about what had happened to him and it gave him such a sense of security that he started crying. "Sorry," he mumbled sheepishly after he was done. "I'm never like this in bed."
"It's OK." She smiled at him, and loved the way he smiled back through his tears. "We both needed this."
He got off her and lay on his back, drawing her into his arms. Nothing needed to be said, and they just laid together a while.
Gradually, Jack's gentle caresses became more demanding and Gabrielle realised he was ready for a second – or third – round. "You can't be serious," she gasped as he turned her onto her side so he could spoon her.
"I told you I have a quick recovery rate... and you make me so hot," he added huskily. It was like a dam had been broken and three months of pent-up desire was crashing through. He was a very sexual man and for the last three months had been punishing himself for his reckless promiscuity with abstinence. It was like he'd been living on bread and water for three months to come home to an absolute banquet.
Gabrielle was whimpering in anticipation by the time Jack entered her. She gripped his hand tightly as he began rocking against her. He had great timing when it came to pleasing women, and he knew instinctively exactly what made her tick.
Afterwards, she lay in his arms, shaking. "You're incredible at this," she admitted.
"I believe I detect a note of jealousy," he said teasingly. Gabrielle squirmed and he realised he'd hit closer to the bone than he'd intended. "I've never had it go down well with women, just how much experience I've had," he admitted ruefully.
"And how much experience is that?" she asked.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yeah," she admitted. She wasn't sure if she did want to know or not, but now that door had been opened and she couldn't let it rest.
"Two hundred and six," he admitted. "I know it sounds like a lot, especially given I'm not even thirty, but... for a long time I felt a had a lot to prove. He called me a faggot while he was doing it. He made me question if that was true, if I'd done something to encourage him. In my mind, every woman I took to bed made me that bit more straight."
Gabrielle shivered at Jack's candour. She'd thought she wouldn't be able to handle the truth of the degree of Jack's promiscuity, but the way he explained it... his behaviour was like that of an addict who uses food or alcohol as a coping mechanism... in fact, Gabrielle wouldn't be surprised if Jack's behaviour was actually that of a borderline addict. No, she couldn't feel jealous or insecure about the women who'd come before her. If anything, it made her feel more secure about herself, because she knew this had to be one of the few sexual relationships he'd had where he didn't feel the need to prove himself.
"How does that make you feel?" he asked, shaking her from her thoughts.
"It's hard to explain. Not jealous or insecure in the way you'd think... Jack, am I any good?" she blurted out. "What's so funny?" she demanded crossly when Jack started laughing.
"That sounds like something someone would say when they're only experience is bad sex with a selfish prick. Look, you're not great technically but you learnt quickly – mostly it's just about pressure and timing and when sex is good, you learn that quickly."
Gabrielle snorted. "Pressure and timing," she said. "You sound like a scientist."
"I loved science as a kid. I loved puzzling things out, I loved the universal truth of it. I loved the idea that something was a problem that had an answer if you worked at it long enough. That's what appealed to me about medicine."
The more she found out about Jack, the more she appreciated him as an intelligent, compassionate man who had survived so much – she had so much admiration for him. They talked well into the night in between fantastic sex- Gabrielle could safely say this was the greatest night of her life, and she was pretty sure Jack felt the same way.
She opened up about growing up in a farm in southern Queensland, her life with her family and Steve, being such an impressionable country girl. "Sydney really appealed to me, the idea of a big city... but I've hardly seen any of it."
"Really? I grew up here. I used to love exploring – I'd get on the bus every weekend and go as far as my pocket money would take me. You've never been to the botanical gardens or the opera house?" She shook her head. "Man, I have to get you out more. I'll organise something special for our first date."
"First date?"
"Sorry, slip of the tongue. I was just thinking it would be fun to show Sydney to someone who's only ever lived in the country. I didn't mean it that way." He took a deep breath. "Unless... you'd consider going out with me?"
They had gone to bed together agreeing not to hold each other to anything in the morning. But that was before they had opened up to each other about their lives and the things they'd overcome. The idea of acting as if it had never happened tomorrow morning was a lot more unpalatable than it had been a few hours before. "I'd consider it," she said coyly, and Jack smiled. She liked making him smile.
