Disclaimer: Primeval and its characters belong to Impossible Pictures. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N - This started out to be a story about Abby giving Connor dating tips, but as I wrote the characters took over and it went in a somewhat different direction. Set in series 1.

WARNING - mentions abuse


Therapy

Connor had been living with Abby for a little over a week.

They had settled into a familiar routine now that the initial hiccups were out of the way. Connor didn't leave ANY of his clothes anywhere except in the loft which he was using as a store room, on pain of death. Connor would put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and not straight into the washing machine. Connor would hang up the towels in the bathroom and wipe round the basin after he had washed, shaved and cleaned his teeth. Connor would use only his own shower gel (in fact Abby had deliberately bought on overly floral scented one just to train him). Connor would use his own shampoo, conditioner and hair products (ditto). Connor would clean the bath after he had used it. Connor would not put empty bottles or tubs back in the fridge, or empty packets back in the larder. Connor would not use a wet teaspoon in the coffee or the sugar. Connor would add any items he finished or nearly finished to the shopping list. Connor would put the milk back in the fridge. Connor would NOT eat Abby's favourite yogurt. Connor would throw his own rubbish away. Connor would always put the loo seat back down.

Failure to comply with any of these stipulations would result in reprisals that Connor would not like – washing up duty being a popular choice.

Connor actually didn't mind. He liked the idea that Abby was house training him – moulding him the Abby way. He hoped it meant she at least cared a little bit, and one day, once she'd finished moulding, she might notice that she liked what she'd made … hopefully.

Living with Abby, Connor had the opportunity to observe her closely, in her natural habitat so to speak. He was coming to recognise patterns in her behaviour and indicators to her moods.

He knew if she slammed the bathroom door in the morning before her shower she would be in a bad mood all day. If she had slept well and was rested she would have tea with her breakfast, but if she'd had a bad night she'd have coffee, strong with milk and one sugar.

He noticed that she had bad nights often. When he was sleeping on the sofa, sometimes she would appear at her bedroom door in the middle of the night, spot him, huff and go back into her room.

One morning about a fortnight after Connor arrived, Abby was drinking coffee in the kitchen.

"Connor, as it's Saturday would you like to come with me to buy a bed?"

Connor looked bemused then delighted. "'Course Abby I'd love to. Err, what kind of bed?" Expansive four-posters swam through his mind. Well he could dream couldn't he?

"I was thinking one for the loft. I've always meant to turn it into a spare bedroom, for visitors and whatnot. Now seems the perfect time as you're kipping on my sofa. If we put a bed up there you can kip in the loft until you get your place sorted."

Connor blushed slightly, knowing where this particular conversation was going.

"Any word on that yet Con?"

"Err no. Irons in the fire. Waiting to hear from a mate. I'll let you know." There were no irons and there was no mate, but he wouldn't tell Abby that. He'd much rather kip on her sofa than on Tom and Duncan's. The view was so much better if nothing else.

"Well, just cos I'm gonna put a bed in the loft, don't get ideas it's for you. I still expect you out as soon as you're sorted."

"Yes Abby."

They ordered a bed. Luckily it was same day delivery, so they had it in by late afternoon. Abby had bought several changes of linen for it and by six they were all sorted. Connor had a bed to sleep on.

Connor was sitting in the kitchen looking at takeaway menus.

Abby walked in and glanced in his direction as she made herself a tea. "You not going out tonight?"

"Nope, I thought I'd get a takeaway and watch a film. Unless you've got plans of course and need me to get out."

"Why would I need you to get out?"

"Well, you know, if you've got a date. I don't want to be in the way, playing gooseberry." Connor really and truly hoped Abby didn't have a date. He didn't know if he'd be able to cope with watching her making out with some handsome muscled hunk, or worse, Stephen.

"No Connor, no date. What about you? No plans?"

"Nah. Tom and Duncan are having a Buffy series 5 fest, but I'm really not interested."

"What, no Buffy! Are you sick or something?" She was laughing at him and he knew it. The truth was, he'd rather spend the evening with her. He'd rather spend his whole life with her, but he couldn't tell her that and she wouldn't accept it anyway. Not yet.

"What kind of takeaway?"

"I was thinking curry. Do you want in?"

"Yeah, why not. You order and I'll get the beers. Anything on telly tonight or shall we watch a film?"

"Film I think. Whatdya fancy?"

"Comedy" they both said together. So they settled down for an evening on the sofa watching 'Jackass', eating curry and drinking Grolsch.

Connor made his way up to the loft and his new bed. It was his bed but he wouldn't let Abby know that. He hadn't realised before that from up here he had a view of the whole flat. He also had Rex snoring in his nest in the rafters.

At about 1:30 he was woken by the sound of gentle sobbing, and the muffled tones of someone saying "No, don't hurt him. No, leave me alone. No. No." Then he heard an equally muffled scream. Five minutes later, Abby's door opened and she quietly padded across the living room to the kitchen. She was sniffing and whimpering.

Connor watched from his vantage point. She was wrapped in her favourite fluffy dressing gown, and was using kitchen towel to dab at her eyes and blow her nose. She put the kettle on and placed a camomile tea bag in her favourite mug.

Connor watched her distress and felt nothing but love for her. He so wanted to go down, take her in his arms, kiss away her tears and tell her everything would be alright because he was there for her. But he knew she wouldn't want that, she wouldn't want him. All he could do was sit there and watch. And once it became too painful, he turned away and gave her her privacy.

-0-0-0-

On Monday at the Home Office, he was sorely tempted to find out as much as he could about Abby's background. Whatever was making her so distressed must have happened in her childhood. Maybe if he hacked her personnel file he'd find something. So he logged in on at a spare terminal in an empty office and began to burrow his way through Home Office security towards his goal.

It wasn't hard. Being on the internal network helped, and having found the office owner's secure login stuck to the inside of their top drawer made it even easier. He soon found Abby's file. He found out her middle name was Sarah, and she was born on the 1st April and then he came to her family history. It had an extra level of encryption over and above what was normal. Someone really didn't want this read by any old HR manager. Connor could hack it no worries, but did he really want to? If someone had gone to that much trouble to keep her past private, then perhaps he should back off. It was enough to know that there was something there that needed that level of confidentiality. Connor logged off.

Throughout the day Connor pondered what he had discovered, such as it was. He knew from her bad nights and the few phrases he'd heard that it was something dreadful. He suspected abuse. It would account for why she behaved the way she did, her mood swings, her flashes of anger and the huge defensive walls she had built around herself.

Connor knew a thing or two about abuse. Much as he adored his mum and dad, his uncle had been a bastard. His parents had always thought he was a quiet child, the GP thought perhaps borderline autistic. In reality, his uncle liked to 'play' with him whilst babysitting when his mum was at work. It wasn't until he was four that his mother walked in on it one afternoon. She'd come home from work early and had sneaked in to surprise her brother and son. She got the surprise and it wasn't pleasant. She screamed and called her husband and the police. Luckily the police arrived first.

Connor was terrified, first by his mother's screams, then the police, then his father angrier than he'd ever seen him trying to kill his uncle, and then being taken by a police officer in an ambulance to be examined in hospital.

There were questions and social workers trying to get him to show where he was touched on a doll.

For him, the abuse had almost been normal. He had been so young when it started he knew no better. He always cried bitterly when his mum left for work, but she thought that was because he was clingy. 'Playing' with his uncle was just something he did that was a secret and he didn't like very much.

When the police found the pictures in his uncle's flat all hell broke loose. Luckily it was in the days before the internet was so widely available and his uncle was a computer illiterate anyway. He'd been too scared to be part of a ring so had kept the photos for his own private amusement.

Connor had to go into therapy for years. He learnt to be a people pleaser, to please his shattered mum, his guilt-ridden dad and the therapist. It took the longest time for his dad to even be able to touch him, and then when he got older and was more interested in dinosaurs and computers than sport, his dad became convinced he'd been damaged. The fact that he was showing signs of being gifted, a genius even, didn't help, not with his dad anyway. He loved his dad dearly, but felt isolated from him. He tried desperately to please him, to be the son he wanted, but to no avail. They loved each other, but just couldn't communicate. Connor suspected that the guilt his father felt at not protecting his son was to blame. When his father died when Connor was just fifteen, the rift had still remained, except in those final moments when his father had given his son his wedding band and told him he loved him.

Connor came to terms with what had been done to him. He vowed that he would never deliberately hurt anyone he cared for, no matter what. With the help of his adoring mother he learned to be open hearted and caring. He strove to always see the good in people and not the dark, mean, hateful bits. To the world he projected the image of a cheerful, bubbly laughing lad with a smile that could light up a room. Some of the time that was true, but not always. When he was bullied at school his thoughts became very dark indeed. A little judicious hacking of exam results gave Connor his revenge on his tormentors and a modicum of satisfaction.

Because of his own experiences Connor could understand Abby. He could help her, if she'd let him, but he knew she wouldn't trust him, so it was easier if she didn't know. That would ruin everything and she would never trust him again. No, he had to play the long game. He had to be her friend, get her to trust him and to accept him as a constant in her life and then one day she might open up to him.

He knew she would hurt him time and time again, but he could handle that. His therapist had very kindly given him the tools inadvertently.

His therapist always wanted him to voice his pain and anger, to let it out. That wasn't Connor's way. Connor learnt to control his pain and anger through video games. He would appear placid and almost unaffected. Later he could lose himself in an alternate reality and whump monsters, aliens and vampires to his heart's content, purging the darkness from his soul in digital carnage.

For someone he loved he could bear anything, and he was beginning to love Abby more than life itself.

-0-0-0-

Saturday came around again, and again Connor was in the kitchen checking out a takeaway menu.

"No date again Con?"

"No date again Abs?"

"Nah. Didn't feel like it. Although Jenkins asked me out, but I think Stephen scared him off."

"Jenkins? Stephen?"

"You know, Corporal Jenkins."

"Oh yeah, one of Ryan's soldiers. Big muscles, blonde hair, no brain."

"Yep."

"And Stephen scared him off?"

"Came up behind us just as Jenkins asked. Whispered in his ear 'Do you really think that is appropriate behaviour in the workplace?' Poor Jenkins went very pale and scuttled away."

"Good old Stephen." Connor smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "So you and Stephen. Is there anything … errr?"

"None of your business and even if there was still none of your business."

"But no date tonight" Abby looked a little miserable. Connor slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. "Don't worry Abs, you've always got me." And he gave her a glowing smile complete with dimple.

"I know I have Con. Thanks." She was genuinely grateful, even sliding her arm round his waist and returning the hug.

They ordered a chinese, picked out a film from the local rental shop and returned to the flat. As they sat eating and watching the latest blockbuster, which was turning out to be remarkably boring, Abby turned to Connor.

"Con, since you've been here you've not been out on a single date. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"I have a pen-pal, in Ghana."

"But no girlfriend."

"At the moment, no."

"Have there been girls then, you know, in the past? Or perhaps boys?"

"If you mean have I been on dates with GIRLS, yeah, some."

He didn't like to say that he was actually really popular at Uni amongst the science, sci-fi and fantasy crowd. Being those few years older and a genius with those gorgeous dark eyes and that dimpled mega watt smile he'd had no problems with the ladies. He just walked into the bar and the girls were all hanging off his every word much to Tom and Duncan's disgust … although they didn't mind picking up his cast offs. The thing was Connor was choosey. He didn't want to play the field. Maybe it was a hangover from his childhood, but what he wanted was true love. That special person that set his heart alight. And he was willing to wait for it. Not to say he was sexually inexperienced, but what he did was to research and he made sure going in to each relationship that the girl knew there was no future in it. Not that he was using her, he made sure she always got at least as much out of the liaison as he did, but that it was not forever. He didn't do one night stands and he didn't do pick ups, which was probably why his chat up lines were so bad – he'd never really needed them. He'd had five delightful, discreet but brief relationships with five very carefully selected women. Now he felt he was ready for forever. He just hoped that one day he'd be able to persuade Abby of that before she broke his heart.

Abby looked excited at the news that Connor had actually dated. "Come on, spill. I hope you didn't ask them to snuggle together for warmth."

"No, funnily enough I've only ever used that line on you. Anyway, I'm a gentleman and as such I do not spill."

"Aww you're just pulling my leg. I bet you've never been on a date."

"Have too." Connor was getting a little flustered and tried to turn the tables. "Well what about you? I haven't seen you go on a single date since I've been here. And don't say its cos I get in the way, cos you know I'd give you your space if you asked."

"Well, I'm really not interested in anyone at the moment."

"Not even Stephen?"

Abby blushed and looked down at the floor. "Weeelll, maybe. I do have a bit of a thing for him, but it's just a crush. Give it a couple of weeks and I'll be over it, just like all my previous pretty boy boyfriends. Anyway he's strictly off limits cos he's already got Alison. I don't steal other women's men."

"You said 'all your previous boyfriends'. How many have you had?" An indelicate question, but Abby didn't seem bothered.

"A few, but they all ended badly. I always seem to pick the selfish bastards." Abby looked sad again and Connor felt awful for having made her think of it. Abby shook herself, looked up at him with a big smile and slightly watery eyes. "Oh well, never mind. You can't miss what you've never had. Fancy another beer?"

"Yeah why not. Not like we've got anyone to please but ourselves."

"Yeah. And Con, tomorrow morning, why don't we have a practice at those chat-up lines of yours. Maybe we'll be able to get you a girl."

"Sure Abs." But in Connor's mind, he'd already got one. She just didn't know it yet.

tbc