3 days ...

L counted the days, 3 to go he thought to himself. 3 days to Halloween. 3 days to his birthday. A day he couldn't help but dread as he did every year. His already insomniac life style would get worse. Sleep only occurring when he could no longer stay awake any longer. Luckily he was adept at hiding this from his young lover. He knew the boy had a habit of worrying about L's lack of a normal healthy sleeping pattern and he didn't want to worry him more. He wished he could forget. When he had been a bit younger he would just drink the week leading up to the day of his birth, but his lifestyle and liver had prevented this for the past few years. He rarely drank and Light would surly notice such a vast change in his alcohol consumption.

He was torn between letting his exhaustion take at this point,or forcing himself to stay awake. On the one hand if he slept he wouldn't have to worry about the approaching date he could find peace for at least a few hours and Light looked so peaceful curled on his side of the bed. In his sleep inviting L to join him the world only dreams could create. On the other side sleeping meant time would pass quicker and what would stop nightmares from haunting him, he knew for a fact they were more prevalent this time of year. If only because the memories found him not only when he was a sleep but every time he looked at the calender or the heard the ticking of a clock. Reminding time was passing and continued to pass drawing birthday closer and closer …..

2 days ….

He woke up in the morning to a warm presence on his chest. Light as he so often did had shifted in his sleep and had started using L as a pillow. He enjoyed the moments of peace as he the boys chest rise and fall. He loved the moments when the other boy didn't have school and he could just watch him sleep.

Eventually the two of them had to leave the comfort of their bed ( well L's bed but light slept there often enough that there was little to no distinction really). Light was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, and primping in the mirror, God forbid a hair being out of place on his perfect head. L was sat at his desk working on a few minor cases while he waited for the other boy to finish his early morning routine.

Walking in to the bedroom Light came up behind his lover, placing a kiss on the man's cheek."Misa is throwing a Halloween party and demanded I go, if only to show off her new boyfriend in the hopes I'll get jealous and take her back, and since I have no choice, I was hoping you would go with me to make it less hellish then I know it's going to be" hi smooth voice taking the charming lit it held when he was trying to get someone to do something he knew they didn't want to do. "No" L said without looking at the younger male."there will be cake"

"No"

"Why not"

"Contrary to popular belief Light-kun I have better things to do with my time then celebrate an obnoxious holiday with your obnoxious Ex-girlfriend" L regretted the words as soon as they had left his lips, it wasn't helped by the harsh tome in which he had said them. L vainly hoped the boy would drop it. " And you think I do L, there's no need to be a massive dick about it, and I thought you of all people would love Halloween, a whole day dedicated to shoving your mouth with sugar filled crap as physically possible" Light spat the words letting L know to tread carefully or he would not like the consequences. "Yes what is not to love about the increased crime rate and people who are clearly using the day as an excuse to act like they normally judge others as social outcasts for behaving in such a manor" Light glared at the older male, he hated it when the older man used that tone, the one designed to make him every minute of the age difference between the two of them. Especially as they both knew the panda eyed detective was as childish if not more so than Light himself. "As it so happens I will be very busy over the next few days and even if I desired to celebrate, I would find myself unable. In fact I am unable to indulge in even your company for the next few days."

1 Day...

L replayed the argument he had had with light the day before. It had not been one of their worse so he was not afraid that Light would leave him, he did know however it was his fault and if he wanted the other man to forgive him he would have to apologise, which he hated doing. It felt to much like losing. Light had looked less than happy after they had continued to argue for an hour he gave up and stormed out of L's apartment. L sat at his desk staring at his laptop, regretting what he had said and trying to throw himself into work, so he wouldn't have to listening to the ticking clock. It felt like a ticking bomb to his heart.

10 Minutes to his birthday

Tick

9 Minutes

Tock

8 Minutes

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7 Minutes

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6 Minutes

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5 Minutes

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4 Minutes

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3 Minutes

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2 Minutes

Tick

1 Minute …

0 Days …

L switched of his laptop and put his hands in his face and sighed

L Lawliet had always been a quiet child, different from children his own age watching the world with an almost adult like intelligence, but he was a child none the less. He woke up on the morning of his 10th birthday with and excitement only a child could feel. He ran into his parents room excited for the cards and presents he knew awaited him along with a slice of cake, a treat his mother so rarely allowed him to have, she didn't approve of sweet things. What he didn't expect was his father to be covered in blood his eyes screaming in pain as he struggled with breath. His mother laughing manically as she hovered over his dying father. She saw the young boy in the doorway " Oh my baby, my little baby L look at the mess let me just clean it up, and then we can make you a special birthday breakfast" he nodded not taking his eyes of his father, as his mother left the room to wash the blood from her hands he watched the light leaving his father's eyes.

L checked the time, and picked up his keys and wallet, before walking to the flower shop near his apartment where he had ordered a bouquet of white tulips and and black roses, and went to visit his fathers grave .

His mother had appeared in court a few months later. L started living with his father's sister a women who he had meet only a handful of times before. She could barley look L in the eye he reminded him too much of the brother she had lost and the women who had taken him away from her. Her son on the other hand was delighted with the new addition to the family, his cousin was a strange young boy by the name of Beyond. Beyond soon became obsessed with L, he started following his cousin around, dressing like him and copying the older boys strange mannerisms. A few days after L's 13th birthday Beyond was at his dad's and L's aunt was cleaning his room " I don't know how the boy finds anything in here it's such a state" she had said to L that morning. While cleaning his room she knocked over an old shoe box which was filled with pictures of L, L sleeping, showering, reading alone in his room, along with lots of notes

"L got an A on the paper he had due in today he didn't do any work, one day I'll be smarter then him then he'll love me like I love him"

" I watched him sleep again tonight, no nightmares tonight shame he's prettier when he's in pain"

"Mother called me L by mistake today, it was the greatest moment of my life, maybe if I find a place to keep him I could replace him and keep him all to myself at the same time"

" Which sounds better L Birthday or Beyond Lawleit"

"While he was asleep I took a knife from the kitchen and made a tiny cut on his arm, even his blood is beautiful and tasty"

Needless to say L's aunt was shocked. Beyond was found to be mentally unstable and a danger to other and was sent to a mental hospital for children where his obsession with L worsened. He began blaming his mother for keeping them apart. L was sent to live in an orphanage.

A few years later after L had been found by Wammy and began living in Wammy's house, L had began working as a detective he was well known but had worked on a couple of cases. Beyond escaped the hospital, on L's 16th L woke to a call from the police a women had been murdered and her blood had been used to write "Happy Birthday Lawliy." It wasn't hard to guess who had killed the women, L's aunt. Beyond had killed his mother blaming her for keeping him and L apart. Beyond continued to kill as L followed his trail. L was soon able to find beyond and with the help of his friend and agent Naomi Misora turn him other to the police. L pleaded with the court and managed ton get him into a mental hospital instead of prison.

L rang the hospital as he did every year. The women on the end of the phone informed L, that his cousin's condition had not improved, he was still obsessed with L . L sighed to himself as he walked home.

Light was waiting for L when he got home " Light-kun, what are you doing here." L said upon seeing his young lover. "Watari told me, what to day is and that it's not a good day for you and I didn't want you to be alone" L closed the distance between them and pulled the younger male into a passionate kiss before whispering in his ear, his voice uncharacteristically broken " help me forget" before kissing Light again.

Later that night when L and Light were laying in bed spent. Light turned to L " I won't ask you to tell me what happened, but promise me you went spend your birthday alone again I'm here for you and you don't need to be alone again"

" I will tell you one day Light-kun just not today" L kissed light and pulled him into a hug " I love you Light"

" I love you L"

And for the first time in years L slept on his birthday.