Mara's POV
"Amber!" I screeched. "Give me my fucking cigarettes back, or I'll tell Victor!"
The blonde hoe then proceeded to flip me off, and eat the whole pack of cigarets in one gulp.
"Mara, you fat Indian bitch! You just made me swallow the whole fucking pack!" Amber squealed in annoyance.
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not Indian!" I protested. "I'm half black, and I'm from Zimbabwe!"
"Well maybe it's because I'm so racist!" Amber yelped.
"Your mom goes to college!" I growled.
Amber ran away, leaving a trail of tobacco falling from her ass.
Fabian's POV
"UUUUHHHHGGGGG!" I groaned loudly from the bathroom. I was constipated. So, so constipated. It hurt, and sort of felt like I was shitting out the Mask of Anubis. I suppose I'd eaten too much rum and crumpets.
"Babe?" Nina called from outside the closed door. "Are you still up for that Fucking Session tonight?"
"Uh, my dick is a little too shitty. I mean, I guess so, if you're up for a little diarrhea splash."
"Well, it's basically the same as kissing you, so yeah, I'm up for it!"
I smiled, despite my constipation. I just loved Nina so much.
Jerome's POV
"Can you see anything?" I asked Alfie, who was currently examining my ass.
"Uh, I dunno," he answered. "I see a lot of hair!"
"Besides the hair!" I snapped, cringing as his black fingers spread my butts cheeks apart.
"Uh, I see a dog, a car, some trees. Oh and there's a llama! He's eatin' meatloaf."
"Oh, that's just JJ," I said nonchalantly.
"Who?" Alfie asked.
"Jerome Jr!" I answered. "He loves meatloaf!"
"So everything's normal, then?" Alfie confirmed.
I nodded and stood up. "Yup."
KT's POV
I wonder if I can get pregnant off this washing machine... I've always wanted to be pregnant, and have a little washing machine baby, that'll be cleaner than I am. And then I'll have little washing machine grandchildren. And they'll all be so clean!
Oh no. Here comes Trudy with the laundry. Carefully, I scooch to the back of the washing machine, so she can't see me. She hums a little tune as she puts in the detergent, and turns on the machine. I smile. I like the soapy vibrations...
Victor's POV
I like to shit myself on Friday Nights, while the children are down in Sibuna. Then I drink my special potions until I get a hangover and almost die. I do pretty much the same thing Monday through Thursday. Then on Saturday and Sunday, I smoke, drink, go to Applebee's, and then watch Barney. In that order.
That's pretty much my life.
Patricia's POV
I decided to dye my hair blonde the other day—to match Eddie's. It looks so sexy. It looked so sexy, that I shit myself with excitement. This is going to be a great day! Now all I have to do is find Eddie.
Trudy's POV
I'm a bitch. I wonder how long I'm gonna have to keep cleaning up their shit. There's a toilet, you know.
Eddie's POV
I wanted to see Patricia, but I couldn't because my penis was infected.
Jesus Christ! I thought. When is this thing going to stop ruining my life?!"
After an hour passed, I decided I couldn't wait anymore. I would see Patricia anyways. She would understand, hopefully. So I went upstairs to her room.
I walked in to see some strange lady squeezing her crotch on my Yacker's bed. I realized the strange lady was Joy!
"Joy!" I cried. "What the fuck are you doing?!"
"I'm touching myself in all the right moves and all the right places," she answered aggressively. "Wanna try?"
"Ew, no! I have a girlfriend!" I snapped. Then I left to go makeout with Patricia. We kissed until Joy shoved her vagina in her face and said: "Lick it!"
Then the zebras crowed, and we all died.
A/N
Yeah, so if you can't already tell, this is nothing but a really demented Troll Fanfic.
I love HOA! :)
