Disclaimer: I don't Inuyasha or D.Gray-Man
Amaranthine Dreams
By Cerise Lupin
Chapter 1: The Lady of the Black Order
Pairing: Yuu Kanda/Kagome Higurashi
Series: D.Gray-Man x Inuyasha
Void to feel,
Broken the wheel.
I am the reason you feel,
The reason you feel,
The reason you feel no more.
Cage confines,
A beautiful mine.
I, the way that you feel,
The long divides,
The cold divides,
The pain divides...you.
Beautiful Mine by The Butterfly Effect
---
She was seen as a savior, their lady, the one that was the one that bestowed upon them their power, in a way she was considered their hope. Hope that seemed almost lost for a while, so it was no wonder that she was protected and cherished so much and yet a part of her hated this for in a way she was nothing more than a prisoner, caged, trapped in order to be kept safe from their enemies. She needed her freedom and by the heavens she wanted to escape, be selfish for once, but she couldn't, not when so many lives were at stake. So instead she chose to push her own feelings aside, hide them in the deepest, darkest corner of herself and yet even if she tried to be unfeeling, she could not deny that one part of her that seemed to blossom to life each time she laid her eyes on him.
He was like a breath of fresh air to her and even when she tried with all her might to ignore the way his eyes would meet hers and send a spark through her of something so darkly alluring that she would tremble only the slightest bit, there was no doubt that her heart had already betrayed her. There was no way that she would be able to escape the strong pull between them. Like a little moth she had already trapped herself in the spider's web and the moth did not wish to escape this intricate web.
So here she stood watching as he gracefully cut through the air, his trusty blade gleaming dangerously as the first rays of the sun streamed from the open windows, caressing the smooth metal.
Leaning against the wall, she rested her head lazily at the side and watched him move. Painted in the colors of early dawn, he was certainly a vision to behold. Navy hair was suddenly highlighted in red and his usually pale skin almost dusty red mixed with a rich gold, was accentuated by the fleeting shadows of the night that were slowly being chased away by the sun rays. Adonis or perhaps Ares himself, he could certainly be the God of war. Proud, strong and masculine in every sense of the word.
For a brief moment she was tempted to raise her hand and run it along that smooth and strong body, testing that alabaster colored skin with muscles that resembled elaborate steel bands as he moved, but she could not.
All of the sudden the slight tensing of his form caught her attention. It seemed that he knew that she there. Blue eyes lightened only the slightest bit in amusement as she took a step forward, wondering what he would do.
Indeed, he knew that she was there, she was always there in the mornings. Always there...so loyal...so reliable...so like Kagome.
Kagome, the name alone was enough to bring forth so many images. Dark hair, pale skin, large blue eyes and that warm smile that was always offered so freely to him. He wanted to ignore her though for there were so many treacherous emotions surrounding him, engulfing them. They were both walking on thin ice and the strange thing was that they both knew this even if neither said it out loud.
She was risking herself. He knew and understood that he shouldn't touch her. She was to stay pure as snow, for she was the lady of the Black Order, the one from which their innocence flowed, the one that gave them the power to fight and yet each time her bright oceanic blue eyes met his deep gray ones, he could not deny the pull between them. Like the strong tide of the ocean, he was dragged toward her, drowning in all that was her. The desire to touch that innocent flesh, to taste that sweetness that only she could offer, was enough to test his iron control and he was ashamed to admit it, but at the same time he could not deny it.
He wanted her.
A growl sounded in the back of his throat and Mugen cut through the air, the blade glinting dangerously. Sweat coated his alabaster colored skin, while his dark navy hair stuck to his forehead and neck, the dark colored strands heavy with moisture. With her presence there, his moves became hesitant and sloppy in his opinion...and yet even if he was angry at himself for having these thoughts, he could not deny the truth. This time Mugen sailed through the air in a side arch, the blade cutting clearly through the air, his lips parting to release a heavy breath, gray eyes darkening only the slightest bit in thought.
He desired her like a man would crave a woman. His, he wanted to make her his, he would taint her in the most primitive way if he was allowed and he knew that she would let him, for under that blue sheen of innocence, there was that spark of something far stronger, something far more wicked and carnal.
She wanted him just as much.
A grunt and he was pivoting back, the muscles in his arms flexing as he charged forward, the move causing his hair to swirl around him as he spun quickly around bringing the sword around him in a crescent shaped arch. He had never allowed himself to be affected this much by anyone before...now here he was like a dog wanting, waiting for something that could never be his. A grunt and he shifted his stance, body straightening up, hands tightening around the hilt of his sword.
Still there was more to this desire, this taste to touch that soft, plaint and untouched, unmarked flesh, there was that powerful sentiment that even a strong and stubborn man like him feared. He dared not name it, for it would be a weakness to admit such a thing and he, Yuu Kanda had no weakness. He was not allowed to have an Achilles' heeland yet he was no a person to lie to himself either.
He was just about to rush forward when he was stopped in his tracks, her voice cutting through his thoughts and making him tense.
"Kanda," her soft voice caressed his ears, making him look up, surprised at how close she suddenly was. He hadn't even heard her move. For a brief moment he wondered how she had managed to sneak up on him, but just as soon as the thought came it was pushed away. He should have expected this already. She was no ordinary woman after all...she was their lady, the fountain of their innocence, without her, they would all be lost...and yet was it truly fair to her?
His gray eyes met hers and he could see the longing in them, causing something to tighten in him and his own feelings to be put aside. Was it truly fair to keep her locked up like this? Even if she was seen as a deity, she was nothing more than a prisoner to her own fate.
Another presence caught his attention, his gaze flickered slowly to the bookman who was gazing at them; the look in his eyes spoke volume of what he thought, annoyance, distrust and clear disapproval were clearly visible in those dark depths. Unlike the others, the old man could clearly see the signs that were present and just like anyone else, he did not approve of this fascination between the two, not if they wanted to keep their lady pure. Thus even when his gray eyes brightened even the slightest bit when he met her deep blue eyes, his lips pressed in a thin line, an answering grunt her only reply.
To his surprise she smiled, her azure eyes making it clear that she understood. However the tenseness to her shoulders was enough to tell him that she had sensed their audience as well, but chose to ignore it.
"How was the mission?" It was such a simple question and yet coming from her it meant so much. He could see the yearning in her eyes, the desire to be able to be outside like him, to battle like he could. She might be considered a goddess to the order, someone holy that needed to be protected, but he knew that the she was a warrior at heart and that it killed her to not be able to aid him in his battles. His lips curved only the slightest bit and he shifted his stance, taking one step closer to her. "It was a success, not much of a challenge."
As expected he saw her cheeks heat only the slightest bit at the smaller space between, even when she smiled at him once again. Once again his gaze flickered to the open door where the Bookman should have been, but to his pleasure the old man had left, probably having grown tired of the game that they were playing. This was certainly a dangerous game and both could lose so much.
"I'm glad that you're okay." She shifted her weight from one feet to the another, the action reminding him of a child and by the heavens, he was tempted to touch her. His hand tightened around Mugen and her eyes flickered to those white knuckles of his. He had enough.
"Why are you here Kagome?" His voice was suddenly strained, his shoulders tensing even further when he gazed at him with large confused eyes. Did she not know what she was doing to him?
She shifted, her long white skirt making a soft swishing sound as it slid against the wooden floor of the dojo. The sound though sounded suddenly far too loud for the quiet and suddenly tense atmosphere that seemed to surround them. For a brief instance something flickered across her features, before it was replaced by a calm mask while at the same time she met his dark eyes.
"I did not mean to be a bother," she whispered quietly and it suddenly killed him to watch her close in herself like she did.
It had taken a long time for both of them to open to one another and for her to do this again...it bothered him, even if the most callous part of him shouted that this was the best way. Apparently though some part of him disagreed, but he chose to ignore it.
"Cut it Kagome, you know very well what we're risking here," his voice was controlled but there was this certain edge that was as clear as day and could be heard almost instantly. He took step forward, gray eyes darker than before resembling two onyx beacons as they stared at her.
"We do not have the right to risk so much...just...for our own selfish desires," the last words though were whispered, like he lamented to admit such a thing.
Silence settled between them, the seriousness of his words sinking in. If only things could have been different. If only...
His hands tightened around the hilt of Mugen.
"It's not fair." Her whisper was oh so soft, but it was enough to catch his attention. He raised his face to look at her and found large blue eyes looking back at him with unshed tears and he suddenly wanted to do nothing more than hold her in his arms, tell her that he cared for her and that he would never let her go...but he couldn't. Pride, the responsibility, the need to protect others was enough to stop him. Still he couldn't stop himself from allowing his fingers to trace her cheek. Large oceanic blue eyes shot up connecting with his grey ones and she found herself unconsciously leaning in, craving more of that touch, but knowing that neither had any right.
Thus without a word, she pulled back, straightening up and wiping away every last bit of emotion from her face and drawing once again into herself. The pain was there though, racing under the surface, but she hid it...tried to bury it deep within her.
"I should probably get going, Bookman has something to show me." Her false cheerfulness in her voice made her internally berate herself, but even so that didn't stop the accompanying smile from reaching her lips as she stared at the young man in front of her. As her eyes met his, she could feel the chains tightening around her, caging her, trapping her further.
"I'll see you around," she averted her gaze then, before quickly turning around and walking away, never noticing the hand that had reached for her, nor the look that briefly crossed Kanda's face.
All she understood at that moment was that Kanda was right after all.
Neither of them had any right to be selfish...even if it was so cruel to deny themselves this.
In the end, this was their fate, the fate of the lady of the black order and her knight.
A/N: Comments, reviews, constructive criticism, they're all welcome.
