It's been three weeks since the new rent holder of this abandoned apartment moved in. His old apartment building he was living in burned down by a lunatic that had a record with setting things on fire. The fire took a while to reach the floor where Sebastian was living so the majority of his apartment survived. He had to throw many things because they were ruined by the smoke and some were burnt completely. It didn't take him long to find this apartment, he stayed at a friend's house for five days before he heard that there was an empty apartment nearby.
He's been prolonging cleaning it up ever since. He had no choice in the matter anymore because his friend was coming to see him over the weekend. He started with the easiest which were the kitchen then the living room and at sundown he was done. The hardest two places were his bedroom and the bathroom. It was a complete disaster in both places and the fact that he can't clean or have any patience was the only factor that made him sigh endlessly and lie on the floor next to his bed.
'I met Him a little over three weeks ago. I was shown the apartment by the owner of the building and I saw a boy sitting by the widow. It seemed like the owner didn't see Him and He didn't seem to care much for us. The apartment was abandoned and very cheap, I assumed that either someone was murdered here or it's haunted. If there was a murder than by law I'm required to know, but again, if it's been more than three years than the owner isn't obliged to tell me. So my second assumption was correct but the ghost was so dazed, He never turned to look at us. I rented the apartment after the boy by the window suddenly disappeared when I turned for a second. It was cheap and very close to my college so I figured that whatever I saw must've been my imagination since the owner didn't see it. About two weeks passed and the boy never showed again which confirmed the fact that I was imagining things. It was a normal thing for me to hallucinate sometimes because I always keep marihuana at reach. The second time I saw Him he was crying near the window in the middle of the night, I felt so sorry for Him I tried to reassure Him but I wasn't able to touch him. Then I knew that he was a spirit of some sort. He left again and now I'm obsessing over seeing Him again.'
He sighed heavily and his eyes closed as he laid flat next to his bed. He couldn't think straight after what he saw. He didn't want to. Sebastian is known to be very impulsive and just go with the flow kind of guy. He's done everything a man could dream of doing yet he feels like a helpless child in a desperate need for something he can't have. He was very aware that there was a reasonable explanation for the both times he's seen the spirit, the first was a hallucination and the second was a dream. There was no way to conform either but no way to deny them as well. He had nothing to go on except his hunch. He turned to lie on his side, staring at the darkness under his bed. Another sigh escaped his lips, but it was disappointed sigh.
He stared blankly under his bed with his hand running through his hair. He knew how crazy he must look; waiting for a spirit to come visit him again, what proof does he have that it visited before to begin with. He took a deep breath to convince himself that he wasn't crazy and leaned on his elbow to get up. The corner of his eye glimpsed something underneath the bed. He stopped and his head stretched to see what the thing under his bed was. His hand reached as he lay flat on his stomach, he felt something hard and pointy than he felt some more hard space. He pulled it and got on his knees to see what the object was. A wooden old box settled in front of his ruby eyes, it had some engravings and a broken golden lock. He eyed it for a while. It wasn't his and he hadn't placed anything under his bed since he moved. He found some old stuff in the living room and assumed they belonged to the last owner which was few years back. The box must also belong to the owner. His conscious woke up to tell him that he shouldn't open it because it's not his, but if the apartment have been abandoned for years and no one came for it then it's not violating anyone privacy to open the box.
A small grin tugged his lips; it was a small rush to see what the old box could have inside it. It looked more than few years old, add that to the amount of the time the apartment has been abandoned and the box is about ten years old. The male wiped the top to clean the dust off and his fingers than moved to open the broken gold lock. The box was hard to open, the rust settled on the screws and made Sebastian struggle for a bit to open it, it made a sound as the top was disconnected from the rest of it. There was more dust inside plus some old papers atop of each other. They were torn and dirty with spots on them. Just another proof of how old this box is. He picked one of the papers and opened it to see few lines of writing. At the top there was number that said sixty-seven and a date next to it that said February 3rd 2005. Sebastian adjusted in his place so he can sit while resting his back against the bed with the box next to him. Even though it was very hard to make out all the words, he started reading what's written down.
'I'm in the boot of a car breathing air through a hole
She's driving me down to the river
She'll watch over me with the tears in her eyes
Couldn't dig my own grave any deeper
She's pushing me blindfolded down to my knees
But her finger still shakes on the trigger
She's untying my hands though I gave her the rope
This is so much harder to leave her, leave her, leave her
When you're forgiving but you can't forget
Feels like you're drowning but you still got breath
And we've been try to lay this ghost to rest
But there ain't no getting out of this mess
Now she's showing me mercy as much as she can
She's letting me live with my demons
See her washing her hands as she's walking away
But still she looks back, she looks back
But she's leaving, she's leaving
What's done is done
Can't resurrect the setting sun
What's done is done
You can't reverse the bullet from a gun.'
His eyes widened a little and his grip tightened on the paper. His eyes lowered to read what's written on the bottom corner. It was a signature that said "Ciel Phantomhive." He said it aloud without realizing. His eyes drifted back to the poem and a smile glowed in his eyes as he read it over and over again, he was afraid he missed a word from the age of the paper. And because he felt so trapped by the words that he couldn't think of anything else. The story behind the poem was so dark yet somehow relatable. He felt like he understood what the writer was feeling when writing this. All the pain and sorrow, the grief and fear, so endless and unwitting. What was the writer really feeling in order to make something like this, to convert his feelings to mere words and capture the mind and heart of another person no less.
He placed the paper down and picked the other few and opened them, they all had a number and were signed with the same name at the bottom. When he had gone through all of the papers without really reading what's inside, he saw a picture at the bottom of the box. He placed the papers down after folding them the way they were, all while being extremely careful. He took the picture in the box and saw a male and a female. The female had a blonde hair in two pony tails and a wide smile, probably the happiest smile he's ever seen. The male in the picture looked more familiar to Sebastian than he should. Like someone he's seen in a dream that he forgot. He had a hair with the color of the night sky and two gems for eyes, their blue color was like nothing he'd seen before. They held more depth and grief than anyone he knows. Even though he was smiling and had his hand around the blonde girl, they looked like a couple, a very happy one. But Sebastian could sense the same feeling he got while reading the poem. They both looked so young, neither have reached their twenty. He turned the picture around and started reading what's written out loud "Ciel Phantomhive and Elizabeth Midford. Two weeks before the wedding. November 16th 2004." The student smiled and looked at the picture again, bugged about the feeling of where he saw the man named Ciel Phantomhive. He sighed again "Ten years ago I was eleven." He laughed at himself for thinking that he saw the male. He's probably in his thirties now, they both must be.
He glanced at the papers than picked them up and put them in the box again and the picture on top. He kept it open as he held it in one hand and got up. He placed it on the bed stand and gave the picture one last look before turning around. It was as if nails were holding his feet in place. A shock ran through his body as his eyes gazed at the sapphires standing in front of him. His eyes widened slowly and his mouth hung open. He was wearing old clothes, all clad in black. He had no shoes on and Sebastian finally realized that he was so short, about 5'3. His hair was messy and his hands were dirty and filled with cuts. His face had the most lost look but yet it was so innocent. He seemed so young, he looked like a lost child with so much fear in his eyes. Sebastian found himself gazing at the beauty of the spirit. It only lasted a minute but it felt like he was frozen for an hour. He gulped noticeably and realized he was able to move again. He unconsciously took a step forward as a smile uncontrollably drew on his face. "It's you...it's really you...you-" he cut himself and turned to pick up the picture. He held it up in front of the spirit's face "That's you, right? Ciel Phantomhive."
Sebastian's never felt this scared in his life, this amount of rush in his veins. All the times he's gone bungee jumping, or when he stole a race car and took it for a drive in the city. Not even when he conned two men in Spain and ended up being chased until he hid on a ship and it took off in the sea for two weeks, he thought that experience can't be topped, how he tricked his way to make everyone believe was a researcher and they lost his ticket, he had the best vacation of his life for free. But this was different, this can never happen to anyone, it happened to him, because he chose to be fascinated by a haunted apartment rather than scared. If anyone had stories that makes everyone's jaw drops it's Sebastian, this story made him feel how everyone feels when they listen to his adventures. He's been traveling with a fake ID since he was seventeen, the day he turned eighteen he took his passport and left the country for three months. He has seen everything, did everything, and even slept with every beautiful thing that walks. Nothing should surprise him. Yet there's a boy standing in front of him with a scared and lost look and all he can think about is giving him a hug and tell him it will be alright.
The spirit looked so clueless, his face held the same expression, he wasn't fazed for a second by the bravery Sebastian was showing. He took his time looking at the picture, examining it, his head titled in confusion like he was looking in a mirror but he didn't see his reflection. His eyes drifted to the rubies again and he looked as scared as a lost child. "Do you know me?" He asked with a low and hesitant voice. He stared at Sebastian with some hope glowing from his big innocent eyes. He was desperate for an answer.
Sebastian was taken aback by the question and cleared his throat while his mind tried to process what could be the reason for such question. His hand slowly lowered with the picture to settle flat on his side. He was still getting over the shock he got from being so confident around something that isn't even real. And the fact that he's not scared. The spirit seemed so peaceful, it was all in his eyes, how scared and confused he was. He can't be evil and Sebastian knows that he can't get hurt by a creature that looks so pained and helpless. He took a deep breath and a sympathetic smile glowed from his eyes "Why were you crying that time?" His head titled a little and he watched the boy look away like he's trying to remember what Sebastian was talking about.
The spirit seemed to get hyped over the question. He became nervous and even more scared. His sapphires narrowed in sadness and tears began to gather in them. He looked up for a mere second than took a step back "I don't remember.." He stated almost to himself. He gazed at the floor as his tears began to fall silently in his cheeks.
Sebastian took another step closer in misdirected enthusiasm, but he was still holding such a look to ensure the spirit that he means no harm. "Are you Ciel Phantomhive?" He couldn't hold back his excitement and it showed through his attempt to look understanding. How could he possibly understand what it feels like to be dead. Sebastian was certain that the spirit had some unfinished business and is only lingering until it's done. But ten years is a long time to linger. How can he not know what he want and move on after ten years. Sebastian was assuming that He's been dead for ten years but it could be more or less, that wasn't the issue. The only puzzling part was to figure out the unfinished business of the spirit.
While Sebastian was too lost in his overly excited thoughts, he didn't notice the boy turn around and start to walk out of the bedroom. When he finally realized it, his feet moved before him to follow. He noticed the boy slow done like he remembered something than move towards the door again "It's so cold." He stated with barely audible tone as he exited the room. When Sebastian took a big step after him, he found the living room empty. He stared in confusion and swallowed hard as if to keep his fear in check.
"Are you cold too?" The voice felt like it came out of nowhere, but Sebastian was able to pin point it quickly and turn to the right where the window in the living room was. The boy was standing with his back to the window but his eyes weren't looking at Sebastian. They were directed at something that wasn't there. Something behind Sebastian. The moonlight was shining bright behind the spirit making him look like a shadow.
Sebastian chose to stay in place this time and if he decided to move than he'll do it slowly. He felt cold sweat drip from his back and the rush he was feeling was turning to butterflies and a racing heartbeat. "Are you Ciel Phantomhive?"
"I don't remember..."
"Are you dead?"
"I don't remember..."
Sebastian sighed, mustering up the courage to walk very slowly towards the window with the picture clutched in his hand. He watched the spirit that didn't react and sped up his movements a little. He kept some distance between them just to be safe and held up the picture again, making sure not to make any sudden movement. He never thought he'd be in this situation, not meeting a spirit, but actually having a spirit be scared of him and not the other way around. "See, this is you, in the picture. It says your name is Ciel Phantomhive. Do you remember that?"
The boy didn't look at the picture whatsoever. He kept his sad eyes directed at the two rubies. "I'm so cold." He repeated. He was pleading but Sebastian wasn't sure for what. If it would help, he'll give Him a blanket, but he couldn't do anything. Sebastian took the picture down again and placed it on a table next to the couch where he was standing then went back to look at the spirit. "Do you know me?" He questioned the minute their eyes met again. It was the second time he asked that question which made it pretty clear that he doesn't know who he is.
"Um...No...But I know your name, it's Ciel, and I know that you were engaged...maybe married. To that girl in the picture. Her name is Elizabeth Midford. Do you remember anything at all...if you're dead...or maybe in a coma...or why you're here...how long have you been here? Is this your apartment...did you live here?" Sebastian found him expressing his nervousness though fast speaking and stuttering. But that had something to do with excitement as well.
"My name...is Ciel..." The spirit seemed to be questioning the fact. He had no expression on his face when he looked behind him. He turned around slowly and stared outside the window as he mumbled something to himself. Sebastian wanted to take a step forward but he found that there wasn't anyone to advance towards. The spirit was gone and all he left was the shock Sebastian was in. "...This is weird..."
Sebastian spent the rest of the night on the couch with the TV on but he wasn't really watching. He started watching a movie than his mind drifted and he forgot what he's watching. He was thinking whether Ciel would show up again. He wasn't sure that was his real name but the picture was clear even if it was old. It wasn't reliable information since He didn't know what His name was. The fact that He didn't remember anything. He didn't even know if He was dead. Sebastian needed a proof of Ciel's death. He felt sad, not knowing anything, not even his name, and finding some information will make Him trust Sebastian. He admits that part of the reason he's doing this is because he knows this will be the best adventure of his life. That he met a real ghost and he talked to Him and he survived. But the main reason is because he feels so bad for Ciel, the minute he looked into his eyes for the first time, he saw the amount suffering he's gone through. He never felt such power pulling him like this before, it was like suddenly drowning but realizing that the water is peaceful. Like he won't die, he'll just enjoy how weightless he'll become until he hits the bottom.
Sebastian began tossing and turning on the couch when the noises from the TV annoyed him. He didn't know when he fell asleep but it was one of these naps that he never wanted to wake up from. He yawned and sat to reach for the remote on the table to turn the TV off. The light was too bright and he didn't feel like getting up and going to his bed. After he turned off the TV he gleaned at the wall clock on top of the TV and saw it pointed to one a.m. He laid back on the couch and closed his eyes. His eyebrows frowned when he heard a faint mewl. He opened his eyes to make sure the TV is off then he heard weeping. He sat up quickly and listened carefully. He could hear the sound of someone crying. His eyes widened and he turned to look at the window behind the couch.
Then he saw it. It was Ciel, crying again. He didn't know what to do at first but after staring at the boy sitting with his knees pulled to his chest, he got up and walked around the couch to the window. He could the same nervousness setting in but he ignored it this time. "Ciel..?" He tested calling the name he thinks it belong the spirit and he got a reaction.
Ciel looked up with his sapphires full of tears. His face was red and he was trembling. His arms tightened around his knees and he lowered his eyes "Why won't you leave?" He mumbled and was barely heard by the college student. "They all leave..." He continued in a louder voice this time.
Sebastian took a bold step and sat down in front of the boy. He painted a gentle smile on his face "I think you're afraid of me more than I'm afraid of you." He wanted to ask him why he was crying again but he felt like he already knew the answer. Ciel doesn't remember anything, so that should be the reason why he's crying. "My name is Sebastian."
Ciel looked up and he found himself not crying anymore. He leaned forward and his eyes showed the same pleading expression as the last time "I'm so cold." He whispered, begging for someone to make him feel better. His knees lowered and he wiped his tears off, he couldn't keep eye contact and stared at the floor again. "I'm always so cold."
Sebastian watched him get rid of his tears than noticed all the cuts and bruises on his feet. It looked as if he was walking through the woods barefoot for a week. His hands also had some cuts but they were small and barely noticeable, it was mostly his nails that had so much damage. He looked up at Ciel's face to see if there was anything he missed before, since this was the first time he was close to him. But his face was perfect. Flawless, his porcelain skin looked like it was never touched. His lips pink and his nose perfectly fitting between his two large orbs. His eyes were the one thing Sebastian couldn't look away from. He flinched when he noticed the boy staring at him for being silent for too long and smiled again "Ciel, I think you need to remember something in order to move on. As long as you can't remember, you'll be stuck here."
"I don't remember..."
Sebastian couldn't help but find the helpless tone cute and a smirk faintly appeared on his face "I know, you said that before, but you have to try...maybe...maybe you should remember how long you've been here so I can figure out some things about you." Sebastian never knew how much of a dominant he was. Just by looking at Ciel he could tell he needs to be watched, like a baby-sitter around the clock which shows how submissive He is.
"Aren't you scared?" He asked with his hands nervously meeting near his ankle and fidgeting.
He sighed "I'm...I don't want you to cry anymore." The words escaped him before he can have any control over them and he didn't know whether it was his own nervousness or over confidence.
Ciel looked away and curled on himself. He was feeling guilty because he thought that he was annoying to Sebastian. He's always been scared of and now that he met someone who doesn't fear him, he's being a nuisance "I'm sorry, I can't leave. Every time I want to leave I find myself back here again."
"You can't leave..." Sebastian thought it over while keeping his eyes on the shy boy deal with his guilt. "Ciel..." He called with soft smile "If you ever feel like crying, just come to me. I'll talk to you until you feel better."
He sniffed and squeezed his toes with his fingers, trying to look up without crying "You won't be mad...or scared?"
Sebastian chuckled "Unless you scare me on purpose in the middle of the night, I'll be fine." He smiled and held his pinky finger up "I'll promise you."
Ciel tilted his head in confusion and stared at the finger in the air "But..." He protested then shut himself up. His eyes glanced at Sebastian then the finger slowly before he decided to hold his own pinky and wrap it around Sebastian's without touching him. There was no point since he'll go right through so he kept his gaze down and imagined what it would feel like to be touched.
"Claude!"
When the door opened, a man around the same height as Sebastian walked in without permission. He had a black silky hair and wore thin glasses that had yellow eyes behind them. He was a little wet due to the rain outside and hurried to take his jacket off and through on the back of a kitchen chair. He took his glasses off to clean them then turned to Sebastian while putting them back on "You chose a really shitty place to live." He was referring to the old walls and obviously run down place if it wasn't for the mildly new furniture.
Sebastian couldn't help but smile, it was a really old place but if it was new than Ciel wouldn't be haunting it. "It has its perks." He commented as he walked past the other male to the living room. Claude followed after but much slower to take his time examining the apartment.
"As long as the Xbox works, I couldn't care less." Claude sighed as he walked to sit on the couch. He watched Sebastian plug in the wires while sitting on the floor and untangling some of them then pressing the power button and waiting.
Claude wasn't supposed to come so early, it's only 2 p.m. but since it was a long weekend, he couldn't wait to leave the house. He has a crazy roommate that always have sex with no regards of who's around. Claude thought he was a cute little thing until it first happened. He realized that his taste in men doesn't include crazy blonde's that live like there's no tomorrow. When Sebastian's apartment building burned down he was forced to live with Claude and suffer with his friend who pushed him to rent this apartment without caring of its ghost status.
Sebastian pushed himself back with two controllers in hand and sat on the floor with his back leaned against the couch. He looked up to Claude, waiting for him to come down as well, but when his friend waited for an explanation he stretched the controller as far as it goes to show Claude that it doesn't reach unless they sit on the floor.
Claude slid down without a word and snatched the controller from the other male's hand "I'm gonna let this one pass."
Sebastian had a sarcastic smile on his face "Your ass needs something hard every once and a while." He kept his voice as serious as possible but a small laughter stopped him from seeing Claude's reaction.
The boys started with enthusiasm while playing. Claude won the first time but that made Sebastian angry and he had three wins in a row after. In two hours, the game was quieter, and less challenging because Sebastian was absent minded. He kept looking around hoping he'll see Ciel but the spirit never showed. Claude didn't notice at first but after a while it became very obvious, yet he kept his mouth shut. Sebastian became disinterested in the game and just played along because he thought Claude didn't pay attention to his behavior. He didn't think much about Ciel until now because he assumed he'll show up again. But when time passed and there was no sign of the spirit, Sebastian worried that maybe Ciel doesn't want to see him anymore. He also thought of the possibility that if he shows up Claude will see him. That thought was gone as quickly as it came because he remembered how the owner didn't see Ciel when he first came to see the apartment.
Claude decided to finally address the issue if Sebastian's distraction by pausing the game and turning to him with a raised eyebrow "Alright, I give up, what's up?"
"Huh?" Sebastian questioned in confusion.
"You've been looking around like you lost something for an hour. What's going on?"
Sebastian didn't realize it until he was told. His eyes drifted for a second as he thought about how much he's thinking about Ciel. It felt like he's obsessing. He placed the controller down and tried to look at Claude's eyes. But he couldn't look at him, he was looking through him. What he wouldn't give to see Ciel again. He didn't know when it started, they met four times only, and Ciel barely talked or showed any emotions other than the sadness hidden in his eyes. But that urge to see him took Sebastian off guard. There was nothing to see, Ciel doesn't remember anything so there was no point of meeting. Sebastian looked up and a serious look painted in his face "Claude, do you believe in love at first sight?"
Claude didn't know where the question came from but the seriousness around it made him want to joke about it even more. "Why? Did you fall for me already?"
"Never mind." He quickly decided to change the subject so he doesn't have to lie about anything if Claude started asking questions. He took a small breath and leaned closer. His eyes were barely open and he liked it better that way, he wanted his imagination to have control this time. Claude didn't move an inch as the scarlet eyed male crashed their lips together without a warning.
Claude responded by closing his eyes and leaning to kiss back. He gave Sebastian's lip a light suck before he pulled back but kept close distance "Right now?" He asked hesitantly. Even though it was cloudy, it wasn't night yet, and Claude knew that if they have sex now, they won't stop until one of them can't move anymore. Sebastian nodded and pulled the male by the shirt closer, he kept his eyes on Claude's lips as he leaned again to meet their lips.
Sebastian woke up with a groan. His bed wasn't the most comfortable but when he's having sex in it, it becomes the most uncomfortable. He rolled out of Claude's grip and his feet hit the floor with a small thud. He arched his back a little and he heard a crack. His eyes looked around in the dark to see what time it was but it was pitch black outside. He figured it must have passed seven. He stood up and stretched a little before walking and tripping on his clothes; he looked down and picked up his underwear then put it on as quietly as possible. He took a look at Claude before walking out of the bedroom. The light from the living room blinded him for a second and he rubbed his eyes then yawned and walked to the kitchen. His half naked body was covered in bites and hickeys. His abs had some as well. Mostly it was his neck and shoulders. He never knew the reason for Claude's obsession with biting. He looked down and saw some on his inner thighs and it made him roll his eyes. His body was made of perfect muscles with no birth marks whatsoever. It was pale and toned, every inch smooth and addicting to touch.
He headed straight for the fridge hoping he'll something easy and quick to make because he wasn't in the mood to cook. When he turned to where the fridge was he saw a shadow standing in the corner. He jumped back in an instant "Holy shit!" He cursed with his hand on his fast beating heart. "Shit Ciel. Don't do that!" He demanded, almost out of breath.
The spirit was quick to feel guilty; he started playing with his fingers and looked down "I'm sorry."
Sebastian swallowed and tried to breathe normally again "That's...alright." He said while walking a little closer. "Where were you?" He asked quickly when he remembered how weird he started acting when he didn't show up.
Ciel looked up and saw the seriousness in Sebastian's eyes. He didn't realize how hard he was blushing and kept his gaze with the rubies. He didn't want to look any place lower because Sebastian wasn't wearing much clothes and Ciel felt embarrassed to stare, especially with all the bite marks. "I'm...I'm sorry!" He almost yelled.
Sebastian waited for the reason for the apology to come but the spirit stayed silent and he thought Ciel was apologizing for not showing up. "Oh. No, it's fine, I was just worried that you ditched me or something." He tried joking to let Ciel know he wasn't angry at him.
"What do you mean?" Ciel's brows furrowed and he looked just as lost as he always does.
Sebastian breathed out "Never mind. So why weren't here all day?" He asked again, in a gentler tone with his soft smile.
Ciel started blushing again and it was confusing Sebastian a little. The spirit looked away and his voice was barely heard when he talked. "I...well, I was..." He stated.
"What?" Sebastian's response was caused by the half that didn't heard Ciel and the half that heard him and was so embarrassed to believe it. He was finally realizing the reason for Ciel's blush; he must have seen what he did with Claude.
"I'm really sorry but I wasn't looking and I stayed here the whole time. I didn't mean to see anything." His face was getting red with every word and he took a step back without realizing.
Sebastian didn't see why Ciel would be embarrassed, he's the one who was seen, and heard, having sex. He looked away and covered his mouth for a minute while he recompose himself "It's fine. I'm sure it wasn't your fault, it's a small apartment." Sebastian very awkwardly realized he wasn't wearing anything but his boxers which made his eyes widened, he wouldn't mind being naked in front of a ghost, but all the hickey's on his body had him running away from the kitchen like it was the plague.
Ciel didn't know what happened until he realized that he must have made Sebastian feel self-conscious by talking about what he saw thus reminding him that he's naked. He took a deep breath to calm down and slowly started to feel less embarrassed. Before he knew it, Sebastian's head peaked from the living room with his usual smile and asked Ciel to come out. The spirit followed without a word and left the kitchen. He saw Sebastian walk towards the couch and sit down so he did the same. "I'm really sorry."
"I'm not worried about that. Why couldn't I see you?" Sebastian doubted himself for a minute, maybe Ciel was around but he was too busy to see him. He was facing the TV all the time, and then he was in a dark bedroom. How can he be sure that Ciel wasn't there, he was just stupid enough to not notice it.
"You never see me in the morning." Ciel stated with his usual voice.
"So you're always here, I just can't see you when it's light out?" Sebastian thought back on the times he saw Ciel and they all were during night time. He never gave it much thought before because he figured it's natural for all ghosts to come out at night. That's what he knows from watching Supernatural and Paranormal Activity.
Ciel nodded silently and watched the male to see what he's thinking. Sebastian quickly glanced at the bedroom door behind him and smiled teasingly "Do you want to sneak out?" He asked
Ciel widened his eyes a little "I...I can't leave." He wasn't sure if he explained himself the first time he said it so he stared at the student with unsure eyes.
Sebastian stood up "Wait here." He headed for his bedroom, opening the door as quietly as possible and entering. It was dark inside but he was able to make his way to the bed and get the old box from underneath it. He pulled it out and glanced at Claude. The man was still sleeping so Sebastian left with the box in hand and closed the door slowly. He made his way back to where Ciel was and held the box in both hands in front of him. "I have a theory."
Ciel's expression didn't change. He was still as lost as always and he simply waited for an explanation. Sebastian's smile widened "I'm gonna try something." He stood up again but this time he walked to the front door, before he reached it, he looked back at Ciel and signaled him to come with his head. Ciel followed without a word, keeping his eyes on the box. Sebastian then opened the front door and stepped out while Ciel stayed in. He turned around so he was facing the inside of the apartment and Ciel. He placed the box on the floor; he stayed on his knees and looked up at Ciel with a smile "Come on, try getting out."
Ciel didn't know if it was a joke or a test, either way he was demented. His looks shifted between the box and the gentle face of Sebastian. He kept quiet and took a step back. His head shook and a scared look covered his face. His eyes were close to tears and they just looked away to hide the pain "No."
Sebastian stood up; looking worried at the sudden change "What's wrong?"
"It hurts...if I try to leave." He shook his head again "Please don't make me." He begged with trembling hands and shaky voice.
Sebastian stepped inside and wanted to hold the boy's shoulder than stopped half way when he remembered that he can't touch him. He took a deep breath "Didn't I promise to help you remember. You have to trust me a little to make my promise's worth." He smiled with the happiest expression he knows "Don't you want to leave this place; I'll take you anywhere you want."
Ciel looked up and his eyes lit up a little. He didn't realize how much he wanted to leave, he doesn't know where he wants to go, and he's been here for a time that he doesn't know. If he had the chance to leave long ago, he's sure he would have taken it. "Anywhere?"
"Anywhere." Sebastian replied as he stepped out again and looked at the box "I think this is what's keeping you here. It's the only thing that belongs to you, or so I think. So my theory is, if the box moves, you can move." Sebastian wasn't as confident as he looked. Now that he knows he might cause Ciel pain, he's not sure if he wants to go through with this. His plan is just a theory; he'll lose Ciel's trust if it doesn't work.
Ciel knew that if he took one second to hesitate, he'll back up so he closed his eyes and took one big step over the threshold. Sebastian stood outside with his eyes as wide as they can be and his mouth a little open. He chuckled at the picture of the small boy with his eyes shut tight "You can open your eyes."
Ciel's sapphires opened and they were glowing with so much emotion. He quickly looked behind to make sure he's outside the apartment. He stated at the living room, he's never seen it from the outside, and if he has then he forgot about it. He didn't see Sebastian until he was closing the door to the apartment and walking back to pick up the box from the floor. He smiled proudly to himself and whistled to get the spirit's attention before walking towards the stairs.
"Where are we going?" Ciel's little voice asked. The two came down the stairs from the fourth floor and into the first. Sebastian was silent the entire time. He was walking ahead with the box in his hands. He had a goofy smile on his face that he didn't want Ciel to see. He felt so different for being able to help Ciel. Even though he didn't regain any of his memory, Sebastian knew that if he had his trust now, he'll be able to convince him to do some other crazy thing that will help him again. Sebastian stood in front of a door with Ciel behind him; he was worried that someone might see him so he kept looking around nervously. Sebastian turned to him for quick reassuring smile than knocked the door.
Ciel flinched at the act and hid his small body behind Sebastian's. His view was blocked and he wasn't sure who could Sebastian want to see at a time like this. He heard the door open and wished that he could be invisible at this second. He didn't know if that person will be able to see him but that possibility was enough to make him tremble in fear.
"Hello Mr. Tanaka, may I come in?" Sebastian's voice was as confident and friendly as usual. Ciel could imagine the smile painted on his face and it made him feel a little less scared. Sebastian took a step forward and entered through the door, leaving Ciel completely exposed. The spirit was frozen in complete fear. He was staring at an old man with white hair and a thick white mustache. He had many wrinkles and seemed to be in his sixties. He wore glasses and a thin smile on his lips. The man didn't seem to have any change of expression which meant he couldn't see Ciel. The spirit took a step forward after Sebastian all while keeping his eyes on the old man. The door was closed behind him and he stuck close to Sebastian.
The man walked to the living room "Come in, young man." He smiled to Sebastian quickly before turning his back again and sitting on the chair facing the big brown couch. Sebastian followed as fast as he could without paying any attention to Ciel. He didn't want to seem weird by looking at air for too long. He was once again proud of himself for guessing that Mr. Tanaka wouldn't see Ciel. Sebastian sat on the couch and placed the box next to him. "Mr. Tanaka, I'd like to ask you few questions about a man named Ciel Phantomhive."
Ciel stood in front of the two, shifting looks; he realized that Mr. Tanaka is the owner of the building. He doesn't remember him but he saw him few times before. The man was never able to see him and he didn't know why. He still doesn't know why Sebastian's the only one who can see him.
Mr. Tanaka took a deep breath and the smile slowly disappeared. He seemed to be remembering something unpleasant. "He was no man...just a boy, barely out of high school." He sighed and looked at Sebastian "Why the sudden interest?" He questioned as he leaned out of the chair. He didn't want to talk about it more than he should and if Sebastian didn't have a good reason then he wasn't willing to reopen old wounds.
"I'm sure you know. I mean he's haunting my apartment. Isn't that what you forgot to tell me?" Sebastian never fails when blackmailing someone. He always has his cards straightened out and he knows when to use them.
Mr. Tanaka didn't react at all to Sebastian's words and just sighed again. He leaned back and took off his glasses "So you've seen him? Personally, I never did. At the beginning, when I showed the apartment to someone they'd run away as far as they could. I picked up on it after a while. So I shut down the apartment before I scared more people."
Sebastian was hooked, he wanted to know more, and he wanted to know about Ciel. "How did you know then?" He asked with a small and quick glance at Ciel. He knows that the boy was probably just as excited as him. It was a new story for both of them; no matter how much little information Ciel was finally going to find out, it would be a lot to his empty memory.
"He lived in the same apartment as you ten years ago. It was him and his girlfriend. The prettiest little thing they were. Such a happy couple, always smiling and making me smile. They said they were planning in getting married soon, that he proposed at their high school graduation and she said yes. They came to me saying that they'll move out because the apartment is too small. They were headed to her parents' house in the country. They said they'll stay until the wedding time." He paused to see Sebastian's shocked expression, which surprised him.
Sebastian knew that Ciel was engaged but he didn't think it was at such a young age. The boy looked way too young to be called a husband. "Then what happened?"
Mr. Tanaka shook his head "I don't know. I don't think anybody does. It was two days before the wedding when Ciel went missing. He disappeared and no one knew where he was. His poor fiancée was heartbroken. She canceled the weeding and moved out soon after. I called her few times to see if there was any news about Ciel, but she stopped answering my phone calls and I didn't want to bother her anymore. Everyone assumed he was dead but no one really knows what happened to him. After that I rented the apartment and it was fine. But after few months, the man just up and left. Ever since, I was never able to keep a client, they'd all turn pale with fear. I used to go up and pray for him but he never left. I don't think he's leaving anytime soon either."
"Why?"
Mr. Tanaka sighed in a daze and smiled once again "Because he thinks it's his home. He doesn't want to leave."
Sebastian leaned on the edge of the couch. His excitement was glowing out of his eyes. He felt like he was two steps closer than he was last night and now he made Ciel happier by finding out something about himself. "You said a man rented the apartment after Ciel's disappearance, so the apartment wasn't haunted until few months after?"
Mr. Tanaka seemed less interested in the new topic "I wouldn't know. I don't ask personal questions."
"Do you know who the man was?" Sebastian questioned with more than fifty percent chance that Mr. Tanaka wouldn't have a clue. It was ten years ago yet he just met Ciel so it feels new to him.
Mr. Tanaka lowered his head and shook it; he held an apologetic tone is his voice "Sorry, I don't have records that far back."
Sebastian stole a glance at Ciel and saw how close to tears he was. He stood up quickly and took the box with him. "Thank you so much Mr. Tanaka, you've helped a lot."
"Well, if you see him, tell him I still pray for him." Mr. Tanaka didn't look up at Sebastian and just picked up a book that was on the coffee table then wore his glasses again and started reading.
Sebastian smiled and walked to the front door after making sure Ciel was following. He wanted to get out as soon as possible, he wanted to know what was bothering Ciel so much. He thought it will make him happy to find something about himself. He didn't see this reaction coming. He opened the door and left then headed for the stairs, he knew no one can hear him there. He stooped half way through and turned to Ciel.
He was taken aback when he saw the boy still at the end of the stairs with his hands covering his eyes and trembling. Sebastian ran down quickly and put the box down. "Hold on, little one, I thought this was a great day." He watched the boy hic and cry a little louder. Even though he covered his eyes, his tears were still visible as they fell on his red cheeks. "Didn't you promise to come to me when you want to cry."
"I'm sorry...I made someone very sad. It's all my fault. I disappeared and made her sad." He wiped his tears off only to have new ones fall back again. He clutched his clothes with his wet hands and kept his eyes down. He stared at his hurt feet as he tried his best to stop crying but every time he wanted to, he remembers the girl from the picture and start to sob. "I'm sorry...I-I'm really s-sorry."
Sebastian watched with a great urge to just hit his head against a wall. The amount of raw emotions this boy can express are beyond his comprehension. He closed his eyes for a second to find a way to calm Ciel down that doesn't involve touching him. He's never to deal with a spirit before; if Ciel was alive he'd hold him close and tell him it will be alright. He can't do that; he needs to find a better way because he knew this would happen more often than not. He looked down for a second and did his best to smile as honestly as possible "Ciel, I can never understand what you're going through, but I promise to help make it all go away. You'll remember everything and I'll be with you the whole time. I won't let you forget anymore."
Ciel wiped his tears one more time and sniffed his nose, his hands shot back down to clutch his shirt and he looked up. He wanted to trust Sebastian, he needed to. Because of Sebastian he can now leave the apartment, and he knows that he was engaged, he was eighteen and that he lived here. That's a lot more from what he knew before Sebastian showed up. He was just a shadow, even if he wasn't alive, he felt so empty, having no memory or no purpose. He didn't know why he's here, he still doesn't know, but his chances of finding out are increasing as long as Sebastian is here. "What if I wasn't a good person, what if I won't like what I remember?" He asked with so much innocence yet so much fear.
"Then I'll kick your butt and send you flying to heaven." Sebastian joked with a wide grin. He sat on the stairs and looked at the spirit "You just have to go without a plan sometimes." It was Sebastian's specialty to move without a game plan. Plans always change so he figured instead of taking the time to set one up then get mad because it changed, he makes his plan to not have one.
Ciel let go of his shirt and started pulling at his fingers again, he looked away and his voice lowered "I've been trapped in that apartment for ten years and I don't remember. I don't want to forget again."
Sebastian shrugged "I guess it's up to you. If you really want to remember, than I don't think I can stop you." He smiled and got up, picking up the box with him. He stood in front of the boy and waited.
Ciel was a little surprised by Sebastian for being so forward with him. He was honest and what he said was the truth, but how can he be sure that whatever made him forget before won't happen again? Sebastian sighed "Alright, can we go back now, I kinda left my friend alone in there."
Ciel looked away in annoyance "I wouldn't call him a friend." He huffed and took a small step back "I don't want to go back. You'll do more adult stuff." Before he can give Sebastian the chance to say anything or even react, he disappeared in front of his eyes. Sebastian flinched and kicked the step "You're an adult too." He mumbled as he turned around to go up.
Sebastian opened the door to the apartment as quiet as possible to make sure he wouldn't wake Claude. He made his way in slowly and opened the door gently. The lights were still on and Ciel was nowhere to be seen. He sighed and placed the box on the first table in his way. He knew that the little information he just found about Ciel would go a long way in the police station. He wasn't sure if he can take Ciel with him and there's no way to know. He has to go in the morning so he wouldn't know if Ciel will be able to leave the building or not. All that aside, he has to almost kick Claude out so he wouldn't look like a crazy person talking to himself. And if he wants to take this as seriously as he promised Ciel, he can't have Claude around, he was a distraction. He took one last look around before sitting on the couch with a thud and laying his head back.
"Where were you?" It was Claude's voice standing by the door frame of the bedroom. He was fully clothed but looking as messy as Sebastian was when he first woke up and had no glasses. He walked to the man on the couch and sat close to him. His hand wrapped around his shoulder, his head rested on the other's head and he closed his eyes. "I'm sore."
"You're sore?" He asked sarcastically "My hips are probably dislocated and I can't wear a V-neck for a week." He pulled himself off as gently as possible and placed some distance between them. "Claude, I have some things to do this weekend, important things...maybe..." He wasn't sure how important it can be to help a dead person "I know we were supposed to spend the weekend together but I can't afforded wasting time." He only realized how harsh he sounded after he was done talking.
"You call spending time with your boyfriend a waste of time?" Claude's expression didn't change much but he did take offend. He looked away for a second than stood up without a word and headed to the bedroom. Sebastian wanted to stop him and apologize but he found no interest. There was no point of fixing this or making up when he wasn't happy with this relationship to begin with. It was always physical and whatever feelings they developed weren't honest. They both only wanted sex and they convinced themselves that they like each other, because otherwise they wouldn't be doing something so intimate.
Sebastian turned around to the other side and jumped in surprise when he saw the black cladded spirit standing by the window. "Ciel!" He scolded like an angry parent. "Stop that, you'll kill me before I can find out what happened to you." He took some time to catch his breath and look at the door to see if Claude heard him. He turned back to Ciel with a small apologetic smile to see the boy shying away with embarrassment.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled in guilt.
"Claude's leaving so don't leave ok." Sebastian's words came the minute Ciel finished. He had a small teasing yet hopeful grin; he was begging Ciel to say yes with his eyes.
The bedroom door opened and Sebastian quickly turned and tried to look normal. Claude was looking better than he was few minutes ago and he was wearing his glasses. He glanced at the sitting male "I'm leaving." He didn't wait for an answer and headed straight for the front door. Sebastian watched with a little more enjoyment that he should and the second he heard the door click he turned to make sure Ciel was still there.
Ciel took a step back and realized he was backed to the window. He took a shivering breath before turning away and starting to pull on his fingers. Sebastian quickly noticed the sudden change and stood up to walk closer to the spirit "Are you ok?" He asked with a worried voice.
Ciel nodded faintly "I'm fine."
Sebastian picked on the poorly constructed lie and sighed inwardly "Are you cold again." It wasn't completely a question. Sebastian worst time was when he heard Ciel say those words; it was the only thing he can't help with. He looked torn about it and he hated how tied he felt.
"I'm sorry-" Ciel wasn't able to finish his low toned, hesitant apology when Sebastian cut him off.
Sebastian was exited and too involved when his words took control over him. "Stop that, don't apologize for everything. Ciel, I promise I'll make it all go away soon so just be patient. I know you can't remember but you were patient for ten years, you put up with all of this, so now just wait a little longer." He smiled, not his usual smile, he wasn't sure he can pull that off; he knew he'll look fake if he tried. So he kept his smile as honest as it can be at this situation. A little optimistic and reassuring.
Ciel wasn't able to make any contact after one quick glance at the crimsons that looked right through him. They were so clear and honest, it was impossible to hold their glaze. Ciel nodded and his eyebrows frowned a little "Thank you."
"I'm going to the police station tomorrow morning; I have a friend there that can shed some light on what may have happened to you." He leaned back on the hand on the couch and sat on it. "I'm not sure I can take you with me though. It will be morning and I don't want to risk looking like a lunatic." He sighed and titled his head while waiting for an explanation. He wanted to go in the morning on purpose because he didn't want to have Ciel find things out that would break him or be too hard to deal with.
Ciel didn't look very interested; his face didn't show any other expression than his usual mildly frowned and scared one. "The police station?" He asked.
"Yes." He nodded few times with a big smile "I'll defiantly find something out. After today, I feel like we're half way through." He tried to get Ciel to smile by keeping his gaze with a large grin. He's never seen Ciel smile, not even once, ever since they met. He imagined it few times but he hopes that he'll get to see it if he helps Ciel regain his memory. But if Ciel's past isn't something worth smiling about, he'll only be the cause for more tears.
Sebastian was woken by the loud this of his body hitting the ground. He groaned and took a minute before testing if he can move. His hips were already sore and his back couldn't bend a certain way, this only deepened the hole. He sat up as slowly as he can and glanced at the clock pointing at midnight. He sat on the couch and groaned loudly at the pain in his lower back. He cracked his neck and looked around to see where Ciel was or if he's still around. The living room was dark and so was the kitchen. The only light came from the open curtain of the living room window. "Ciel..." He called with pained voice. "When did I fall sleep?" He whispered to himself, trying to remember the last thing before he slept. He could remember Claude leaving after a small argument, even though it shouldn't be called argument since Sebastian secretly chose Ciel over Claude. And he remembered the conversation with Ciel about going to the police station tomorrow morning. "Ciel, if you're here than you better not scare me again." He warmed playfully.
Sebastian wasn't up to standing because he knew his back would crack in a place that shouldn't. So he stayed put and reached for the TV remote. He knew Ciel was going to show up since it's night and he wouldn't want to spend any time alone anymore. When Sebastian grabbed the remote he noticed a piece of paper folded in half. He let go of the remote and grabbed it instead. He knew it wasn't here all day, unless someone came in while he was asleep and put it. He opened it and saw it was newly written so he read out loud.
"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream
I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam
And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem
But if I know you, I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream
I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream
I know you, that gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam
And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem
But if I know you, I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream."
He turned to look around as quickly as possible "Ciel!" He called. He couldn't mistake it, Ciel wrote this. His shock was regarding how. He couldn't touch the boy, he wasn't solid. How could he have held a pen and wrote this. He sat back down in frustration and stared at the paper. Why would Ciel write this, and how. Even though he tried to keep his thoughts straight, what he really wanted to know is who this was written for. He wanted to flatter himself by thinking that there's a possibility this would be written for him. But he knew that Ciel can't develop such feeling, not in a short period of time, or while he's going through all this. He doesn't have time to see Sebastian in that way. Sebastian on the other hand was finding himself falling deeper into a pit of despair because he was having an uncontrollable urge to hold Ciel tight and make him forget about his cold and his sense of loss.
