First off, let me just ask something: AM I THE ONLY ONE UNHAPPY WITH BOTH THE ENDING TO TLOU AND TLOU: LEFT BEHIND? No? Okay, now I feel better :)
Anywaaay, let's get on with this.
...
It shouldn't have to end like this.
But it will.
She doesn't want it to end like this.
But it will.
I don't want it to end like this.
But. It. Will.
I run my uninfected hand over my watering eyes, smearing the blood of the infected we killed on my skin. It's sticky and unpleasant, and it honestly smells like rotted food. I try not to gag. Small spurts of blood pour from my open wound, warm and thick. It drips onto the floor between my ankles.
Riley is quiet. What else is there to say? We're fucking done for and there's nothing we can do about it. She's just staring off into the distance. Her thumb and index finger are twitching slightly, no doubt from the pain coming from the bite between them. I can tell by the way she's anxiously biting her lip that it hurts a lot. There's no point in crying, no point in calling for help. No one can help us any more than we can help ourselves.
Fuck this.
I stand, and my sneakers scuff against the floor. I see Riley look at me from the corner of her eyes but she says nothing. I don't know where I expect to go, or what I expect to do, but I can't stand sitting anymore. I wander around the open space aimlessly, watching the blood trail down my hand and hit the floor behind me. I step over the dead body of the one that bit me. The one that started this goddamn mess.
If only she didn't bring me here.
But I can't be mad. Not at Riley, at least. She'd sacrificed so much, broke so many rules and risked her life countless times to find me again. She was almost shot just for getting those stupid water guns.
No. I couldn't be mad.
That didn't mean I couldn't regret going with her, though. That didn't mean I couldn't be mad at myself. If I'd only kept my dumbass in my room instead of letting her take me out, we both wouldn't be trapped here waiting for our humanity to leave us. My eyes water but I don't make a move to wipe them again. I let the tears overflow and fall. They land next to my splatters of blood on the floor. I stop walking. My knees feel weak and my head feels light.
Is it starting already?
A dark pool of crimson has started gathering at my feet and it stains my sneakers. I step away and my other foot hits something that sounds like metal. I blink to clear my vision and a long piece of metal piping comes into focus. Slowly, shakily, I bend down and pick it up. The bite throbs at the movement but I ignore it. I weigh the weapon in my hands, tightening my grip around it. Another fresh spill of blood.
The next thing I know, I'm slamming the pipe against the flower pots sitting on a crate beside Riley. I'm screaming "fuck" at the top of my lungs and I remind myself out of instinct to quiet down before remembering that it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore.
The flowerpots are all smashed and I throw the pipe away to the side, collapsing into a sitting position beside Riley again. I'm back where I started. I resume my crying, silently cursing myself out for being such a goddamn baby. Though, I can imagine how full grown adults would react to this. Maybe they cry too when they're bitten. Who knows?
"There's some more stuff over there you can break." Riley says softly, glancing at me sideways.
"I don't care about that shit!"
-is what I want to say, but my throat is bone dry and I can't force myself to speak. I put my hand over my eyes and sniff. I smear more blood on my face and clasp my hand over the bite. For a second, I pretend I'm four years old. I pretend that I'm at the age where you believe covering something up makes it go away, makes it all better again. Of course it doesn't fucking work, but I'd try anything to forget.
"The way I see it," Riley's voice draws my back to the godforsaken life we call reality. "we got two options." From the corner of my eyes, I see her graze her hand along the gun in her hands. "Option one," -I look at the gun, she looks at me- "we take the easy way out."
Fuck that. I can't kill you. I won't. I can't look at her anymore.
"It's quick and painless." she continues. To my relief, she sets the gun on the floor between her feet and says, "I'm not a fan of option one." A pause. "Two... we fight."
My throat constricts and when I speak it's just above a whisper. It's breathless. "Fight for what? We're gonna turn into one of those things."
Riley considers this for a moment. "There are a million ways we should've died before today," she says. "and a million ways we can die before tomorrow. But we fight." She looks at me and her brown eyes are firm, welcoming and full of love. It's only a mask for the fear behind them but I feel, just for a moment, that we'll be alright. "For every second we get to spend with each other. Whether it's two minutes...or two days...we don't give that up. I don't want to give that up."
I don't either.
When I don't answer, Riley keeps talking. "My vote... Let's just wait it out. You know, we can...be all poetic and just lose our minds together."
I can't help but ask, even though I know the answer. "What's option three?"
The silence that hangs in the air is oddly deafening. Riley wants to tell me that she has another option. That there's another way this can go, another way out. Maybe we could get lucky and survive this together. Live out the rest of our lives.
But there's been nothing about surviving a bite with your humanity still intact. I know it, and she knows it.
"Sorry." she says.
My heart breaks at those words and I can see my eyes watering again. Riley pats my shoulder before moving to stand up. "C'mon. Let's get outta here."
I don't remember grabbing her wrist, and I don't remember pulling her back down. All I remember is my lips pressing against hers for the second time that night. She doesn't pull back and she doesn't push me away. Her arms go around me and mine go around her neck. My bite is probably oozing blood all over her shirt, but I could fucking care less. The kiss is full of fear, heartbreak and the saltiness of my tears. My mouth trembles against hers. I can't help it.
This is how we're gonna go. Fuck option one. Fuck the nonexistent option three. Fuck everything. I want nothing more than to live out whatever time I have left with my best friend. Girlfriend? Who cares, we're dead soon. We're gonna go crazy together and take over the mall, grunting and clicking our own Infected language. We'll still share jokes, we'll still laugh together. We'll attack and turn the next wanderer that dares to invade our territory. We'll never leave each other.
And, I realize I gotta be honest here.
If this is the way our world ends...
I wouldn't trade it for anything.
...
Thank you ever so much for reading this fanfiction, I truly hope you enjoyed and decide to check out my other stories (which, at this point, is only one other). I rewrote the ending to TLOU: Left Behind the way I wanted to see it happen, so this does not speak for everyone. This is my opinion and mine alone.
Thanks again :) CaptainVampireQueen awaaay!
