Love is loveir the 2nd time around..
It was June, my boyfriend and I are enjoying the company of each other… were going out for more than one year now... He made friends, and so do I. We trust each other that we will not fall in love with someone new. Days passed, my boyfriend was getting busy because of his studies... I felt he doesn't care anymore. His always busy with assignments and such so... he doesn't have even the time to txt me... when lunch came, he would have his lunch with me… but to my surprise, he texted me if I can have my lunch with him, even if I have loads of things to do, I still went to him just to show him that I can manage my studies and him… but every time I have my lunch with him, he seemed so busy and I can feel that I'm invisible, his talking to me but I cant feel that his interested that I'm there I felt I wasn't wanted to be there… at some point I understand his situation, but I also want that he would give me just a day, whole day, just to let me feel how much he loves me… to show that he still cares for me… to my surprised, his friends are saying negative things about me… they don't have the right to criticize me, because they don't know me… the criticisms went to my boyfriends head some what they poisoned his mind. He found out that he was excelling in his studies because of them, and because of that every day that his with them, the more that I'm ignored. I make stupid things for him just to notice me, but it wasn't my intention to make it a fight, maybe because I wanted him to notice me was the reason that he decided that he would break up with me… he found love to one of his friends, the girl would cheer him up. And by that time I felt more rejected then ever before… he would say that the girl would value him more that I do, she appreciate him more than I do... but does he know what I felt? Why I did those things? August 7, 2010 our monthsary… even in our monthsary, he still doesn't have time for me… I got angry, and then he broke up with me… after that we're still friends , but I can still feel that he still loves me but his friends forbids him to see me, so every time he wanted to see or to be with me, we would hide, so that we can be with each other…but because I still continuously get jealous, he decided that doesn't want to be friends with me… he choose the girl than me… if he choose the girl he could continue excel in his studies rather to choose me, nothing special… but days passed, I wanted to prove to him that I'm better than her, that he still needs me, but every day he would reject me.. Till the day that I stop proving my worth to him… I could see him very happy without me… so I decided why on earth I would cry over him if he is happy without me…
He's happy with his friends and with the girl, I was also happy with my friends… I have suitors, I have crushes… but before the 3rd month that we broke up, I gave him a letter… saying that, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, sorry if I gave you reasons to lose the love, sorry if I didn't trust you, sorry for everything… I was also hurt by the things you've done but I forgive you for hurting me… its almost 3 months that we broke up, I guess it will never work out… goodbye my love, thanks for the memories, thanks for making me the most luckiest girl, thanks for giving me the chance to love you… thank you for being my strength when I was weak…my light when I cant see any light, my guide every time I was lost, most importantly, my lover every time I need to feel that someone loves me… thank you for being part of me, thank you for the wonderful experiences, for our precious plans in the future… may you be happier with your new girl… I'm still here if you need me… bye…
p.s. I will always love you, no matter what…"
after I gave him the letter I didn't heard anything from him anymore… it was November 7,2010… the day that it made our single status became official… before I was going to sleep… my phone beeped.. I looked at my phone, and it was his message saying… "Go outside… I have a surprise for you…" I saw him at our gate… he was wearing a suit… and I'm wearing PJs…great..J When I asked him "why are you wearing like that? And its late, your parents might get angry at you again…" he just smiled at me and kneeled down… he was holding a small box in his hand, he opened it and said "I left everything just for you, because I knew that I cant be fully happy without the person that I love…will you be my girl again?" I just looked at him with a confuse face and said "what about her? I know that you need her for your studies… I can't help you with your lessons… and you're happy with her… why would you come back to me if I'm always hurting you?" he just looked at me and said "love will find a way… will you be my girl again?" by the look on my face, he knew that I would ask him again… so he quickly got on his knees and kissed me… and asked again.. "Does that answer all your questions? So it's my turn now, will you be my girl again?" I can't say anything… I just smiled kissed him again… and he put the ring on my finger and said "I will love you no matter what, and this ring would be the symbol of my promise... so always where it always okay? And if in doubt, just look at the ring…"
Morning came and we went to his friends and ask for forgiveness… it was hard though but they accepted our apology… every time I feel that I was being invisible again, and every time he would feel that I get jealous again… he hold my hand and put it on his heart saying "ahemmm…whose name my heart is shouting again?" and he would kiss me in the cheeks and together we smiled…J
