Why did I go with you? Why didn't I find something in that closet to kill you with? Of course, how was I going to kill Agent Grant Ward, HYDRA Agent Grant Ward at that?
How much of it was a lie? Does the team mean nothing to him? Do I mean nothing to him? No, no that's not right, he cares about me. That much I know, or at least that much I hope.
I looked out the window in the cockpit, and I was rewarded with the beautiful sunrise over Canada. I know it's too much to ask, but a romantic flight with Ward was something I craved for a long time.
The scars and stubble etch themselves nicely into his chiseled features. God, why does the man that for all intents and purposes has kidnapped me have to be so nice to look at?
Ward must've caught me staring at him because his infamous smirk snaked its way across his face. I was unable to control my own expressions. This isn't fair. I shouldn't have these feelings for him. He's the enemy. He's a murderer. He's a manipulator. He's the man who would take a bullet for me. He's the man who would and has killed for me. He's the man who snaked his way into my heart with no apparent effort. I hated myself for letting me fall for him, but at the same time I couldn't take my eyes off of him.
"Skye, as much as I love it when a girl stares at me, I need a destination." Ward stated as he flashed me a small smile. I wanted to kill myself, but those eyes are doing it for me.
"San Juan, Mexico. That's where I need to be to decrypt the hard drive." I told him as I looked out the window for a few minutes more.
I know once upon a time, trying to escape from him wouldn't have been as painful as it would be now. I got attached. I'm an idiot. The way he talks to me. The way he makes my stomach do flips without much as a thought. I'm assuming this is what it's like to fall in love. To know that he's wrong for you, but the thought of being without him is unbearable.
I want to believe that he feels the same. I want to kiss him, to love him, to show him that I understand. He messes with some control I don't even know the name of and stands. He offers me his hand and I take it with a grin.
"Autopilot's set. I don't about you, but I'm starving." Ward said as he gave my hand a playful squeeze. He pulled me up. His bicep involuntarily flexing. My heart did an involuntary shudder as I saw it. How does he do this to me?
The kitchenette in the plane is stocked as always and in 10 minutes I'm saying hello to one of Ward's famous BLT's. I don't think I've had a decent meal in at least a day. The sandwich was comparable to sex in the mouth, so much so my face lit up in a momentary bliss. I could hear Ward's deep chuckle, which only added to my excitement I'm embarrassed to say.
I opened my eyes to see his face full of sandwich. His mouth curved in a smile, the rarity of which grows smaller the longer I'm with him it seems. That small hope that I can save him from HYDRA, from himself, burns in my heart.
I'm not a good man, Skye. Those words resounded through my head. I wanted to cradle him when he told me that. I wanted to tell him everything would be okay.
"Skye, you ok?" Ward asked, obviously seeing the frown forming on my face.
"I'm good. What about you?" I prodded.
"Well, it was nothing a sandwich couldn't fix." He replied with a chuckle.
I flashed him a smile and snaked my way over to his seat. I leaned into his side and planted a kiss on his lips. He reciprocated and I could feel my mind losing it to his touch. His arm wrapped around my back and I felt my body ease into his side.
His touch shouldn't do this to me now. I shouldn't struggle to think. I shouldn't feel my lips leave his and rest my head on his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck. I shouldn't feel relaxed. I shouldn't feel the exhaustion of the past couple days wash over me and find myself losing a battle to sleep. He senses this, and I feel myself lifting off the ground as his strong arms move under my legs and lift me to his chest. The same chest I wanted to rest my head against for so many nights.
Ward carries me over to the big couch in the lounge and I can feel him lower us to the cushion. My body has gone completely limp in his arms. I feel like nothing more than a doll as he positions my legs on the coffee table. If Simmons was here she would berate us for treating the furniture so poorly, but my body is too tired to care.
My head was still resting against his shoulder, and for the life of me I couldn't have slept easier. I know he's HYDRA, but damn it his shoulder made a good pillow. I kept mentally chiding myself as he stroked my hair softly and I felt my stomach turn to knots. In the back of my mind I know I should've had the urge to kill him, but the only thing I wanted to do was rest my head on his shoulder a little longer.
I felt his body lose the tension it had for most of the night as he leaned his head against mine. I wanted nothing more than to just lye here for as long as possible. Maybe if I could talk to him, I could get him to renounce HYDRA. Maybe I could make him feel remorse, and get him to make things right. Koenig's body flashed into my mind, reminding me that even if he feels remorse, he still killed an unsuspecting agent. My body regained the tension it held for most of the night. My head swirled with panic as my muscles seized beneath Ward's arm.
"Skye, what's wrong?" Ward asked gently raising me up. Damn his ability to be that bad guy that you feel sorry for.
I raised my head from his shoulder and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I looked him dead in the eye and I still couldn't see the murderer my brain knows him to be. I can only see the man that protected me from bullets and guards and the certainty that I'm safe in his arms.
I couldn't help myself. I leaned into his face and pressed my lips against his. Why have I fallen in love with a killer? Why can't I leave him?
