Disclaimer:
I do not own the characters of Harry Potter, these belong to that wonderful author JK Rowling and the various publishing companies used to publish her works. I do not make money off this,it is for fun!
Summary:
This is basically how Sirius Black managed to get our favorite author upset. Yes boys and girls he did and it explains why so many bad things happened to poor Harry Potter. Just what did Sirius do to get her so upset? Read to find out… DH spoilers.
Chapter One:
Jo was a very patient woman, she had to be, she was a very good writer and had written several very popular children's books. One did have to have patience to write so many good books as she had. It had come a bit of a shock after the third book on Harry Potter, (the boy who the books she wrote were about), to find the boy was real as was his world. Much of what she had wrote had happened, and much had not. For one Pettigrew had been put in Azkaban, after Harry's third year at school, Harry never was in the Triwizard tournament and Voldemort had been defeated by Harry in his fifth year. Who needed to know that? She had promised seven books and seven it would be. With Sirius Black right along for the ride to the very end, but Sirius Black was about to get her upset and well its not a good idea to get a one a woman upset.
It happened on a cold rainy evening (cliché I know but its not my fault) and Jo was drinking tea enjoying writing the fourth book. She heard a knock at the door and went to answer it, it was late and the only people that knew she was here were her family and the Wizarding world. She saw a cloaked and hooded figure of a man and let him in. The man took off his cloak and hung it up and Jo gasped looking up at him. He was tall, lean and clad in purple high collared robes. His long curly nearly black hair framed a noble face with mischievous gray eyes and a neatly trimmed goatee. He looked similar in fact to the actor that would play him in the movies. Yes this was Sirius Black and Jo was about to find out how much a prankster he really was.
"I am Sirius Black." He said walking around her sacred study poking at things and looking at her computer. "Is that the latest book, I would like to read it!"
"Kindly keep your hands off." Jo said sitting at her computer and turning off the screen.
"Not fair I wish to know what happens to me!" Sirius replied.
"No, you can wait until the book comes out like everyone else." Jo said. "Why are you here?"
"My wife threw me out, said something about not charming the sliver." Sirius replied. "It was an accident but she acts as if I meant it to start singing the American National anthem!"
"So you came to talk to me?" Jo said.
"Yes, you are writing about us you know, well Harry mostly." Sirius said. "What happens to me? I really want know please!"
"Who did you marry?" Jo asked sweetly.
"Rita Skeeter, she is a wonderful woman, kind gentle and she did stand up for Harry."
"You married who?" Jo said almost choking on her tea.
"Rita Skeeter." Sirius said looking at her innocently. "Why what is up?"
"Oh nothing dear, look I have work to do, you should go home to your wife, my deadline is coming up."
That would not be the last time she saw him, no in fact she was finishing up on the fifth book when he came the next time. He had the fourth book in hand and was not looking happy. Oh he better not have come to tell her how to write he would face her wrath. He dropped the book on her desk and sat on said desk by her book. Jo was grateful that her children were not home, how to explain this man here now? No not easy indeed, she could not tell them this world she wrote about was real!
"You know that was my wife you were mean to." Sirius said.
"Its my story and I will write it as I wish!" Jo said.
"Oh great what next kill of Remus?" Sirius said sarcastically.
"You if you do not leave my chocolate alone!" Jo said slapping his hand away from her sweets.
"Fine I can see when I am not wanted." Sirius sulked.
He left and Jo was going to be nice but then she saw a large amount of chocolate missing. She was most unhappy and so she took her revenge out in the fifth book. She knew she was going to get a visit but was not prepared for who came to see her next. She knew him at once when she opened the door and let him in. Tall lean with long black hair hanging around his face like curtains, hooked nose, black eyes, sallow skin, with interesting features, he was not handsome but he was not ugly either. He was clad in black from head to toe, black robes, cloak boots and his robes indeed did billow.
"What can I do for you professor?" She asked.
"Why did you kill off Sirius?" Snape asked her.
"I thought you might like that." Jo replied smirking.
"Hnn, no it was unkind, what did he do to you?" Snape asked.
"Took my chocolate."
"I did not." Came the voice of Sirius (this after a crack to announce he had Apparated into the author's house) "well maybe but Harry is going to suffer now, you cannot make Harry suffer like this the poor boy!"
"Its my books, my way of telling the tale and if you do not leave now I will do more than just kill off Sirius!"
"Can I have more chocolate?" Sirius said.
"No!" Jo said nearly loosing her temper. "Out now!"
"Biscuit?"
"No!"
"Tea?"
"That is it you are going to regret this Mr. Black I promise you this!" Jo snapped.
Hogwarts 2007:
Sirius Black sat in the headmaster's office a comfortable chair feet up on the desk. The last two books had been riveting and great, okay maybe not great but at least Snape had died. After killing the headmaster and going back to Voldemort only he was not with Voldemort. He gave his memories to Harry in the last book and they showed a miserable and bleak life for the poor man. However Sirius knew for a fact Snape had had a good childhood. He was not a battered child or tortured, oh never mind, Sirius thought. Sirius still had his personal copy of the last book in hands. Yes he had ticked of Jo and he would have survived, poor Harry. He looked up as Snape came into the office and took a seat cross from Sirius and Dumbledore came in, then McGonagall came in, she did not say anything to Sirius but gave him a look and he jumped out of the chair.
"You read the book?" Sirius asked.
"Yes, poor Harry, its your fault you know." Snape replied.
"Mine how is that?" Sirius asked.
"She warned you and now you are dead, my wife was killed by Voldemort and Harry is a basket case!" Snape snarled. "I bet Albus thought it was amusing!"
"Yes I did find it amusing." Dumbledore said his eyes twinkling.
"You would Albus!" Snape snapped.
"Yes, yes still she did a great job." Dumbledore said. "Oh and Sirius you did not take her sweets again did you?"
"Well she did kill me off." Sirius said sulkily.
"It started with you taking her chocolate." Remus said walking in. "Never tell a writer how to write, and don't take a woman's chocolate."
"Oh yea well it's funny." Sirius said.
"Not when it gets me killed off!" Remus said glaring at him.
Back in her home Jo smiled, oh yes she had had the idea for her novels a long time. But when Sirius Black annoyed her well she had to kill him off. It was great to be a writer she mused, she could not kill him off in real life but in a book? Well she had done what no-one else could ever say they had, she had killed off Sirius Black, even if it was only on paper…
