Disclaimer: I don't own anything, including Naruto; really, I'm a poor college student.
Itachi is my favorite character ever, and it makes me depressed that he's just going to be unceremoniously killed off at some point. So I wrote this story to prove why he shouldn't ever be killed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During his stay with Orochimaru, Sauske had much time to dwell on the path he had chosen for himself. Once in a while (well, much more than once in a while) he would just sit and try to imagine all of the possible ways for him to meet again with Itachi. Usually his fantasies included lots of rain, thunder, and even jagged lightning bolts at crucial moments. The scenery was also usually something like a cliff, or a rugged mountain peak, with said brother being thrown off at the end of the battle. So he was greatly disappointed when, on a bright sunny day, in the middle of his lunch break he just happened to sit in a restaurant where Itachi himself had also chosen to dine.
"Hn, how stupid…I could just walk away, pretend I never noticed him" Sauske thought half heartedly.
Unfortunately at that moment Itachi decided to put on his hat, get up and slowly walk over to where Sauske was sitting. However, instead of acknowledging Sauske, he just walked straight past him and right as he passed, the bell on his hat chimed.
Now Sauske hated his brother for many reasons. Yes, he had slaughtered his whole family and left him emotionally scarred for the rest of his life (Although once he joined Orochimaru he realized that there are far worse ways to get mentally scarred. I mean who honestly wants to see that guy in a mini-skirt!!). Sauske also hated the fact that Itachi seemed to be able to pull off being much cooler than him effortlessly. Even after joining Orochimaru, Itachi still had the cooler entrances and exits…it just wasn't fair. So Sauske did the only thing he could; he ran after Itachi and screamed "Itachiiiiii!!!!! I am going to kill you!"
Itachi kept running until he decided they were far enough away from the village to stop and fight. After all, he did not want to fight a whole village full of ninjas… that just wasn't practical. He picked a nice sunny meadow, full of flowers, bunnies, butterflies, and other happy things for two reasons. One it was a strategically sound location without many places to hide and two, he knew it would greatly piss off his foolish little brother.
Sauske ran right after Itachi and stopped five feet from where he was standing. He looked around and couldn't help but twitch. This was definitely NOT how he planned it. Itachi slowly turned around and smirked at Sauske.
"Foolish little brother, you still think you can defeat me?" said he.
Sauske twitched again; "how can Itachi look so evil while standing in a field of flowers?" he mused. (A.N. just picture it!! X.x)
Then Sauske springs into action beginning the destined fight between the two brothers. After a long fight which involved the casualties of many a bunny, Sauske finally manages to defeat Itachi. As he lays dying Itachi looks up to Sauske and smirks.
"Foolish little brother, do you really think you've won?" He asks.
Sauske, seeing that Itachi was finally dying, responds with an intelligent "Uhh.. yeah?" and smirks right back.
"No, Sauske, you have lost... because by doing this… you have.. become.. just like…me" Itachi whispers with his dying breath.
Sauske's blood runs cold with these words. He realizes that Itachi speaks the truth. He had forsaken everything he held dear, in order to destroy the last of his family, his brother. In truth he was no better than Itachi. Looking around the field, at all of the innocent bunnies that died during his fight, he decided that he has wasted his life becoming nothing but a murderer and has nothing left to live for; so he sits next to his brother and kills himself.
A few hours later, Naruto, sent to patrol the borders of Konoha comes across their bodies. Seeing that he was unable to save his best friend and keep his promise to Sakura, Naruto too, decides that his "way of the ninja" is not correct and kills himself.
Sakura, sent after Naruto when he didn't come back in time, finds his body. She then realizes how stupid she was for chasing after Sauske when she had Naruto she decides that she cannot live without him. Sakura, being a trained medic-nin, decides to use a poisoned tea to kill herself- so her beauty is not marred for the afterlife. After drinking the tea she knows she has 10 minutes left to life, decides to go tell Tsunade what happened. However, she falls right before the enterance to the Hokage tower.
Lee then stumbles upon her dying body. She quickly tells him what has happened, and then dies. Finding his beloved Sakura dead, Lee, being Lee, starts shouting and yelling the news loud enough for it to reach the ears of every ninja between Konoha and Gaara's village. Lee decides that the springtime of his youth is gone and there is no reason for him to live so he too, kills himself.
Gai, seeing his apprentice dead, realizes that he is a failure in life as well as an embarrassment for all of Konoha decides that he must keep the promise that he made with Lee! Since Lee has died, he too, must kill himself! And that he does. (A.N. no one dies as a result of Gais death. So we will quickly move on with life…or rather the rest of the deaths. )
Heartbroken by Narutos death, Hinata realizes that all that was left in her life is now gone and attempts to put a kunai through her heart. Neji, bound in service to Hinata, tries to stop her but can only do this by sacrificing his own life. Ten-ten, who secretly has a crush on Neji, is watching and seeing him die before she can tell him anything breaks her spirit so much that the only way she can end her misery is to take her own life. Where Nejis show of friendship and care may have saved Hinata from her darkness, watching him and Ten-ten both meet their demise because of her selfishness causes her to pull the kunai out of Neji and complete the task she had set out to do.
Seeing Hinata kill herself over the one she loved sends Kiba into his own dark spiral to death. Akamaru, unable to live without his master, goes into a blind rage. Shino tries to stop him, and the two of them end up killing each other.
With the tragic loss of…oh half of the Konoha shinobi population, Tsunade realizes that she has wasted her whole life drinking and gambling and that she has failed as a hokage so she decides to jump off of the Hokage monument. As she jumps Shizune and all of the Anbu jump after her to try to stop her. Meanwhile Jiraiya sees his beloved Tsunade jump and runs below to catch her. He does catch and save her; however both of them are crushed seconds later in the rain of Anbu. (A.N all of those characters that I deem are not important enough for me to kill personally have died here.)
Being one of the few left, as well as the grandson of the 3rd hokage, Konohomaru is promoted to being the 6th hokage. Unable to live with what he feared the most, living in his grandfather's shadow and the death of his role model Naruto, he decides that death is the only option. Following their short lived leader, the rest of the academy children commit mass suicide. Iruka attempts to stop them, unfortunately the sheer number of students overwhelms him. With the death of his last student Iruka drives a kunai through his heart.
The now-impressionable Sai sees all of the children valiantly dying for their comrades. This stirs something in his heart, and seeing that his teammates have already died, he decides to follow in suite with the children.
Now we will randomly look at how life is treating Orochimaru now that his prized new body has died. Orochimaru has not taken the news lightly; in fact he is very angry and starts yelling at Kabuto that he should have saved Sauske! Kabuto, while he is a loyal servant to Orochimaru, seems to only get yelled at everything that he does. So while Orochimaru is in a weakened state he takes a kunai and slices his throat. However, once his anger fades he realizes that he has killed the man whom he so dearly loved.
"Oh, Orochimaru, if only you had seen how much I cared for you and stopped obsessing over Sauske things could have turned out so much better" he cries out and then promptly kills himself with the same kunai he used to kill his….beloved (A.N. shiver).
Meanwhile in the sand Gaara is battling his demons…again. He found himself loosing once again now that Naruto, the one who taught him how to live, had chosen to kill himself. He thinks about all of the people he has maimed and killed, and decides that the only way to atone for his sins is to die. So he writes a suicide note and tries and tries and tries to kill himself… but he just can't do it because the sand always protects him. Then, in a flash of inspiration, he realizes that the sand can't save him from drowning, and since he lives in the desert he never learned to swim he decides to kill himself this way, and he finally succeeds.
Temari had been watching some of Gaaras failed suicide attempts and had decided to make a bet with Shikamaru. She decided to bet him that Gaara would not be able to kill himself thinking that she'd definitely win! Shikamaru agreed, and they decided to bet one million dollars. Now, Temari should have been more wary of agreeing to the bet, after all Shikamaru WAS a genius with an I.Q. of over 200! There was no way he was going to loose such a bet. So when Gaara did manage to kill herself, Temari realized that, not only did she owe that lazy bum a million, he had KNOWN that her little brother was going to be able to kill himself and did not try to stop it! So she flew into a blind rage and killed Shikamaru. Of course, as in every tragic story, she only realized that she loved him after there was no chance of saving him (after all… all the good medics have already died).
With his last breath Shikamaru said to her, "Tch….troublesome woman" and with that he died.
With the thought that all she caused Shikamaru was pain, and that life is nothing without the lazy bum to yell at, Temari decides to kill herself.
Now this would all be okay, but unfortunately this whole series of events took place in front of Choji and Ino. Choji had been happily eating some chicken and when he saw his best friend in the whhoooole world die he choked on a chicken bone! Ino saw this, but instead of helping right away she went into a rant about how eating so much was not good for Choji and he really should go on a diet. With his last bit of strength, Choji rolled over onto Ino for making fun of his weight. She was instantly crushed and moments later Choji died as well.
At that moment Temari and Gaaras brother, Kankoru finds his brother's suicide note. He decided that he must show Temari this and sets out to find her. He quickly finds that she too has met and unfortunate end. Now, Kankoru may not be the most touchy-feely kind of guy, but he did care deeply for his sister and had just reforged a bond with his brother. He realizes how much the two had actually meant to him, as well as being the only two real friends he had (AN: puppets do NOT count). He quickly decided that life sucks, and it may be better for him to die as well, so he commits suicide along with his puppet friends (AN: it was decided that puppets could commit suicide though).
Now, Kakashi has just dragged himself though the front gates of Konoha. He has been away on an S-ranked mission killing random Akatsuki members and is very tired. As always he is reading his Icha-Icha book. In fact he is so absorbed that, at first, he does not notice the carnage. But, as he trips over a hand from a random academy student in his path he has mind enough to look up from his book and look around. What a sight he sees, the whole village lays in ruins and everyone seems to be dead.
He prods a random body with a stick… "Yep, definitely dead" he thinks to himself.
At first he thinks it must have been quite an attack on his village, but as he was a highly trained shinobi he quickly decides that most of the wounds were indeed self inflicted. He walks away and decides as long as he has his Icha-Icha books it doesn't matter to him. However, as he continues looking around he stumbles across the dead body of Jiraiya. At first he is in shock, but he regains his composure quickly and takes out a kunai and stabs himself. After all, everyone knows that life just isn't worth living without porn.
