"Mikasa, what would have we done?"
Eren spoke softly, as if he didn't want to disturb her. However, she wasn't asleep; she had closed her eyes to hear the sea sound breaking against the shore and the breeze that caressed their skin.
Some time ago, Eren had wanted to be like the breeze, not only because it was free, but also because it could touch Mikasa's skin with no guilt.
But he no longer felt jealous of the breeze, or the oxygen she breathed, or the water that slid down her skin. He could touch her now; He was selfish, yes, but he could touch her. He couldn't have gone to his grave without tasting that nectar of her body, or that sweetness of her soft lips.
"Hmm?" she mumbled, opening her eyes, holding him a little closer to herself, Eren's back pressed to her chest. At her seventeen, Mikasa had lived through so many horrors and had been so afraid of losing her loved ones, that having him there made her want to never let go of him.
And he didn't want her to do it.
They had little time and he had wasted too much.
Eren felt a lump in his throat.
"What would have we done in a world without titans?"
She sighed. Day after day she had wondered exactly the same question, and so many others.
What would have she done in a world without titans? In a world where her parents wouldn't have died ... And still, one where Eren had wrapped her scarf around her.
But maybe she had no choice: it was one thing or the other.
"I don't know" she lied. She didn't want to overwhelm him by letting him know what she thought ... They had enough with wanting it and not being able to have it.
But Eren was stubborn and he wanted to know.
"Do you want me to tell you what would I have done?" he asked. He heard her nod behind him, her chin resting on his head, rubbing that brown hair that was now a little longer than before. "The first thing ... I would never have asked you to cut your hair."
Mikasa made a laughing sound that made Eren smile.
"Why did you ask me to do it?"
He fell silent for a moment.
"Eren?" she insisted, pressing her hand against his chest. He laced his fingers with hers.
"Because Jean liked it."
She moaned again. It was her way of laughing, her way of telling Eren she was happy; and he would never get tired of seeing her like that.
In such a cruel world, happiness was scandalous and fleeting. But with her, it was like the rose that grew in the winter.
"What else would have you done?" the girl asked. Eren straightened up to sit next to her and make her rest against his chest this time. He liked her hair's scent, he liked putting his nose in her head and tickle her; Mikasa didn't laugh, but he enjoyed watching her shudder under his breath, to feel her skin crawling under his fingers.
"We would have gone with Armin to travel the world, after asking your father for permission. I would have courted you; I'd have stolen kisses from you when your parents weren't around ... Maybe I'd have kidnapped you to take you somewhere nobody could find us."
Mikasa's eyes moistened.
She was lucky Eren couldn't see her.
Time. Just time. She only thought about the time they had left and the time they didn't have. The time they were wasting sitting there; the time they could never make up.
.
A heavy breathing. A bleeding hand holding on to another.
.
Eren continued after rubbing her hair with his lips.
"I would've been a doctor, like my father, and I would have married you."
Mikasa weept silently. She wanted him to shut up; There was no point in talking about it.
Eren had always been good at hurting her, even if he didn't notice. And still, he was the only one allowed to do it and get out unharmed.
Wishes. Longing for what could have been and was not ... They were like knives that stabbed her over and over again.
.
"Don't leave me ... It's still too soon ..."
.
"We would have lived in a cabin in the mountains, just like my parents." she dared to say. She herself had been amazed to be able to say a word.
Eren laughed, kissing her head once more.
"No. I'm not as calm as you." he murmured against her hair, so that only she could hear him. There was no one around, but Eren had always felt a particular pleasure in speaking only to her so not even the wind could hear him.
It calmed her down.
Because she was trembling slightly and he knew why. He was not as dense as before: Eren had learned to read her; not only her skin, but also her soul.
The bond that bound them was stronger than anything else.
.
"Don't. Don't take off your scarf, Mikasa. It's yours, remember? I gave it to you."
A broken voice and a sweet and shy smile.
"It's okay, Eren."
.
"You'll let your hair grow again?" he asked, his arms wrapped around her. He could hear her breathing, and she hear his; rhythmic, calmed breathing, like the water breaking against the shore.
"Maybe."
"If we ever get out of this, would you marry me?"
She sobbed. She wasn't so optimistic about it.
But she didn't answer.
And although it hurt him, he knew it was better not to insist.
.
Eren always believed that he would die first.
.
"Would you take that thing off sometime?" he joked, pointing to the scarf. This time he managed to get one of her smiles as she shook her head.
"I don't think so."
Lulled by the breeze and the sea song, both of them closed their eyes.
"Mikasa?"
"Hmm?"
"... Have I told you how much I love you?"
"Yes. But I love to hear it often."
Eren smiled broadly.
"I love you."
Mikasa turned to him, cupping his face in her hands and kissed him sweetly.
"I love you too, Eren."
.
Armin cried. Not even his hand in Jean's hand could comfort him. Neither his hug nor his presence.
She was his best friend.
Eren caressed the girl's face with his bloody hand. Neither he nor Armin could transform now; They were too tired. And seeing Mikasa wounded, all they could do was hide.
Levi, Hanji, Sasha, Connie ...
There was nobody left. Only the four of them.
Outside they could only hear bombs, weapons, people screaming. But all he could see her agony, remembering the time he promised her to give her a home.
"Mikasa, don't go." he pleaded, his voice breaking in anguish. She was bleeding and there was no way to stop it.
Still, she was smiling, as if she was happy to be there with him ...
To die in his arms.
And she was.
"Eren, it's okay ..."
"No. Nothing is ok. Nothing ... Everything is my fault ... Everything …" Eren's voice broke and choked, just like the time they were both on the verge of death, in front of the titan who ate his mother. "Stay with me, Mikasa."
"Eren." she said, taking her hand to his face to touch him and wipe away his tears. "I would have married you." she declared, answering the question she hadn't wanted to answer some time ago.
He sighed deeply. Eren cried bitterly, pressing his forehead against hers.
There was no time anymore.
There never was.
"I'm sorry, Mikasa ... Forgive me please..."
"You're always forgiven, Eren."
"I love you, Mikasa."
"See you later, Eren."
There was a kiss, and with it, one last sigh.
Armin and Jean saw him screaming, his voice torn, pressing the lifeless body against his chest.
Eren shed bitter tears, his face buried in the scarf she still wore.
When Marley's soldiers entered their hiding place, Eren knew his time had come too.
Then he understood.
It was not a farewell.
"See you later, Mikasa." He said, as he was dragged out with Jean and Armin, forcing them to separate.
Two pure titans waited for him and for Armin, to steal the colossal and the coordinate power.
Jean cried silently, seeing Armin smile to him.
They would meet in another life, just like Eren and Mikasa.
A messy brown-haired boy walked down the aisle in the supermarket, absent-minded reading a comic book. A raven-haired girl with silver eyes fell in his arms as if by magic. Actually, she had been trying to fit bottles on top of the market shelf, but the ladder slipped. It was a coincidence that this boy came by to catch her just in time.
"I'm sorry ... I fell ..." she said, slightly ashamed. So she got out of his arms and ironed her apron.
"Are you ok?" he asked, forgetting the comic that had fallen to the ground.
"Yeah. Thank you so much."
The girl turned her back to him as she left. But there was something disturbingly familiar about her.
"Hey." He called, stretching his hand as if he wanted to touch her. She turned around again.
"Yes?"
"Eh ..." he stuttered. "Do we know each other from somewhere before?"
She arched an eyebrow.
"I don't know. Maybe. What's your name?"
"Eren. Eren Jaeger."
She stretched her hand and he shook it.
"I'm Mikasa. Mikasa Ackerman."
Then they looked into each other's eyes and the memories came to them like a horror movie they didn't want to live again.
Eren wasn't going to let her go.
Never again.
I cried rivers while I was writing LOL.
