A/N: Hey guys, this is a story that I have been working on for a while now. I posted it on DLS a couple of months ago, but I thought I would put it up here for all of you guys to read. I obviously don't own Instant Star of any of the characters involved in the show. In fact, the only things I own are this story and the songs that are in it. Well, let me know what you guys think, and I promise to keep you guys updated.


Chapter 1 – When your phone don't ring

Have you ever watched someone walk, or rather drive away with part of your soul? Just broke down in the middle of the street as you watched your whole world shatter in the disappearing taillights? What do you do? Do you wait for someone to pick up the pieces, and try to put you back together, knowing that some of them are missing, do you hope that the only person who could and did break you will magically reappear and make everything right again, or so you just give up and wait for the world to end? What do you do when your chosen path doesn't change anything? You learn to say goodbye. Goodbye to everything you knew, including what you thought you knew about yourself. You get up and walk away with what is left, the pain, the sorrow, the guilt. You walk away and try to survive, because there is nothing else to do.

"Message number 316" Jude said, almost inaudibly. She felt something break in her already mangled heart. Why am I doing this? She sat with the phone pressed to her ear, just as she had the last 315 times. She felt nothing as she sat recording silence on Tommy's voicemail. She had gone through the whole spectrum of emotions in the last two weeks, all of them well documented in the saved messages box on Tom Quincy's phone. She had cried, begging him to tell her what she did that was so wrong that he would leave her like that. She had screamed, calling him every name in the book, and even a few that she wasn't so sure had existed before that message. She had laughed, trying to convince herself that it was all a joke. She thought she had experienced every possible emotion, but she had never felt like this. She was numb from head to toe, and there was only one thing left for her to say. "Goodbye."

Jude closed the phone, setting it down on her bed. She glanced over at the journal sitting on her desk. The journal he had bought her. She opened it up, rereading the quote on the inside "Most of us go to our grave with the music still inside of us." She then flipped through the pages, mesmerized by the blank sheets. She had never left a journal empty for this long, yet there it was, empty.

When Tommy left, Jude lost it. She ditched her release party to meet up with Mason on tour, only to get incredibly drunk with some guy she didn't even know. She tried to block out the sudden rush of memories from that night, not that there was much to remember. What she could remember was fuzzy, but most of it was just blank. That's what she hated about the memories, they weren't there, they were just a void.

But she lost more than a handful of memories the night that Tommy left, she lost herself. She had felt so together with Tommy, and when he left, it tore her apart. Everything she had known was gone, including the one thing that had always held her together, her music.

She turned back to the first page in the journal, and picked up a pen. There was nothing left to do, so she did the one thing she thought she would never be able to do again. She wrote.