"Remus!"

Lupin looked up from his books. "Yes, Sirius?"

"I got them!" Black waved two colorful squares of parchment in front of Lupin's face as he collapsed into a chair. "Tickets to that opera you said you're dying to see."

Lupin made an uncharacteristically eager grab for the tickets. "You're joking."

Black pulled his hand away in time. "No. Balcony seats. Only the best for my Moony. You wouldn't believe what it takes to get tickets to a Saturday night show."

Lupin frowned slightly. "Saturday? I... Sirius, I made plans for Saturday."

Black raised an eyebrow. "What plans are more important than this? You've wanted to go for months. I'm sure you can reschedule whatever it is."

Lupin continued to frown, but Black got up, walked around the table, put his arms around Lupin's neck, and leaned close. "You know you want it, Moony. Reschedule. You won't regret it." Slipping the tickets into the pocket of Lupin's robes, Black kissed him lightly on the cheek and straightened up. "I have a class to teach. I'll see you."

"Yes," Lupin said distractedly. "See you."

With a wave, Black sauntered off down the isle, ignoring Pince's hissed warning to stop his off-tune humming.

Lupin fished the tickets out of his pocket and stared at them. Finally, with a heavy sigh, he gathered up his things and headed toward the doors.

Behind the Muggle Studies bookshelf, Severus slowly uncurled his tightly clenched fists, gritting his teeth against the sharp pain.


"Severus?"

After a moment, Snape's voice came from inside the cupboard at the other end of the room. "In here, Lupin."

Remus felt a shiver run down his back. He wasn't looking forward to this. "Could we talk?"

"Talk," came the terse reply. Snape still didn't appear, and Remus couldn't see him through the half-open cupboard door.

"I-I'm afraid I have to cancel our dinner this Saturday. Something's come up. I'm very sorry, and I hope we can reschedule."

"Fine."

Remus came forward slowly, peering into storage room. "Severus? Are you sure?"

Snape pushed the door open, startling him. "I said, fine. I understand things will come up."

Remus was far from reassured. Snape was never this reasonable, especially not about something like a canceled dinner date. "Would Sunday night be all right with you? I will clear my schedule."

Snape regarded him with a cold, calculated look. "Friday would be better. I have to attend a conference on Sunday, and it may run late."

Remus swallowed. He wasn't sure, but he thought Snape probably knew Sirius was taking Remus, Harry, and Ron to a Muggle cinema that Friday. "Er... Yes. Of course. Friday will be fine."

He would deal with Sirius later, somehow.

Snape nodded, and there was a hint of a self-satisfied smirk around his mouth. "Very well. Seven o'clock sharp, my quarters."

Remus forced a smile. "Wonderful. I'm glad that's settled."

Snape saw him to the door, holding it open for him. "Will I see you at the staff meeting tonight?"

"No. I have a lot of work to finish, and since I'm not teaching, I thought that should be my priority."

"In that case, I wish you good night," Snape said, starting to close the door.

"Good night, Severus."

The door shut, leaving Remus alone in the empty dungeon corridor. He closed and rubbed his eyes tiredly, wishing conversations with Snape didn't exhaust him so.

In all, he thought it had gone quite well. Now all he had to do was explain to Sirius why he had to back out of their Friday outing.

If he didn't know better, he would have thought Snape knew why he had canceled their date.


Severus paced in front of the fireplace, waiting impatiently for Lupin's arrival.

Candles lit the room, and the table was set for two. A bright fire kept the room comfortably warm. A three course meal had been specially prepared by Severus' personal house-elf. Everything was ready.

A timid knock on the door signaled his date's arrival. Snape waited to the count of four before going to answer it. No reason to seem overly eager, after all.

Lupin was dressed in what Severus understood to be his best robes; shabby, faded brown material with patches on the elbows that didn't quite match.

"Am I early?"

"Right on time," Severus said, showing him into the dining room. He pulled out a chair. "Sit down."

Lupin sat down, looking slightly uncomfortable, as he usually did. This was hardly their first dinner together. They'd had two dozen dates, most in the form of dinner in Severus' quarters. Despite this, Lupin never lost his anxious look.

Severus turned away, as much to hide a tight smile as to serve the first course. Lupin was always eager to please; a trait Severus saw as a character flaw in anyone else. "Wine?"

"Yes, please," Lupin said, holding up his glass.

Severus poured it, then set the bottle down, almost unconsciously turning it so Lupin would be able to see the date on the label. Only the best for --

"Is something wrong?" Lupin asked, obviously catching the sudden scowl that Severus had allowed to slip.

"No," Severus said, carefully removing all traces of emotion from his face. "I merely recalled Longbottom's performance in my class today."

"Hmm," Remus murmured. "Odd thing to recall."

"Clearly, you have no idea what a mess Longbottom is capable of creating when given the proper instruments."

Lupin frowned, and Severus wished he hadn't brought up Longbottom at all. Why Lupin had to make a pet of the bumbling boy, he couldn't imagine.

They ate in silence for a while. A few times, Lupin appeared about to speak, then thought better of it and dropped his gaze.

"How is your research coming along?" Severus asked finally. Work-related conversations were generally safest.

"It's coming alone fine. I have only one more tome to check before I'm ready to proceed."

"We can look forward to having Hogwarts back in order, then," Severus said with an approving nod.

Lupin smiled weakly. "You have that much confidence in me?"

"Of course," Severus said. "You have proven yourself capable."

Lupin seemed a bit shocked by the praise, and Severus wondered if he'd gone too quickly. Black had a way of poisoning Lupin's mind against him, and Lupin had spent far too much time with the mutt lately. It had a way of undoing any progress Severus made.

Then Lupin smiled. "Thank you. It's nice to have someone so certain of my success. There have been moments when I doubted myself."

Severus bit back a comment about the company Lupin was keeping. "You allow your work to be under-appreciated, in my opinion," he said instead. "If it were not for you, we would be locked out of the Great Hall to this day. There's no need to worry yourself over a few classrooms and storage cupboards. I hope you haven't been overexerting yourself?"

"Not at all. I enjoy the challenge, really."

Severus nodded. Lupin was so like himself, enjoying long hours of research and trial-and-error experimentation. For Lupin, charms and spells held as much interest as potions did for Severus. The year they had spent working closely together had convinced Severus that Lupin would make a fine partner for him.

If only Black hadn't turned up to foul up his plans, Lupin would be his already.

Severus forced a smile and poured Lupin more wine. Black could try, but he wasn't going to win Lupin's affections. Neither would he chase Severus off. Not again. This time Severus would not give Lupin up.


"Come on, Sirius, where are you taking us?" Harry asked impatiently, tugging on Sirius' sleeve.

Sirius shook his head, hair flying. "No. Won't tell. It's a surprise."

"Remus?"

Remus shrugged helplessly. "I'm just as much in the dark as you are, Harry."

Sirius grinned and grabbed both of their hands. "Come on you two. Only a bit farther."

They came to the end of the lane, and Sirius unlatched a gate. "This way."

He led them through a rather neglected garden, up a cobblestone path, and finally up the steps of a large, newly painted house. There he stopped, and with a flourish produced a large brass key.

"What are you up to, Sirius?" Remus asked. "Did you rent this house for the summer?"

Sirius shook his head, grinning widely again. "Bought it."

Harry's jaw dropped. "You mean, it's ours?"

Sirius caught him up in a fierce hug. "I got it the same day I got these --" He pulled an official looking envelope out of his pocket. "The Ministry is giving you to me, Harry. You don't have to go back to the Dursleys."

Remus fell back a step, stunned by Sirius' announcement. Just a month ago their legal advisor had told them it wouldn't be possible. Harry was needed for the trials, and the Dursleys kept him safer than Ministry officials thought Sirius could.

"Remus? What do you think? Isn't it brilliant?"

Remus nodded, still feeling numb. "Wonderful, Sirius. I'm so happy for you."

Sirius laughed and pulled him into an affectionate hug. "Be happy for yourself, too, you dolt. This is going to be your home from now on."

Remus blinked. "What?"

"You didn't think I was going to let you starve on the streets, did you?"

"I'm hardly starving on the streets."

"Hogwarts is not a home," Sirius said stubbornly. "This is."

Remus pursed his lips.

"Harry," Sirius said, turning to the boy, who was peering into the house through the glass panels on either side of the door. "Why don't you go on in? I left something for you in the front room."

Harry disappeared inside, and Sirius pushed the door shut. "Look, Remus. I know this is moving a bit fast. I know there's not a lot between us right now, despite my best efforts. But I want you. I've been saying so for Merlin knows how long. You have to make up your mind."

Remus shook his head slowly. "I --"

"Shh," Sirius said, putting a finger to Remus' lips. "Don't say anything now. Just come in and see the house. Look at everything I'm offering you. A home. A real home. With me. And Harry. Just come and see."

Remus let out the breath he'd been holding. "All right. Let's have a look."

Sirius grinned triumphantly, and turned to open the door.

Remus, sighing in resignation, followed him inside.

"I know you love to cook," Sirius said, leading him into the kitchen. "Look at this. A place for everything. We could feed an army. Hey -- we could feed Dumbledore's Army!"

Remus looked appreciatively around the large, sunny kitchen. He did love to cook, and neither the shack he used to call come -- before the Ministry took that away from him, too -- or Hogwarts offered him the opportunity.

"There's enough room out back to hold Quidditch games," Sirius continued, pushing aside the curtains and pointing out the window. "And have a garden. I know you used to grow a lot of your own herbs."

Remus followed him to the front room.

"It's not hooked up to the network yet," Sirius said, motioning toward the fireplace. "Come upstairs and see the bedrooms." Then he raised his voice. "Harry! Where'd you go?"

Harry came thundering down the staircase. "This is great, Sirius! Just brilliant!"

"You found it, then?"

Harry nodded. He turned to Remus. "My room has a secret passage!"

"It ends here, behind that bookcase," Sirius said, walking over to it and pressing a knot in the wood to show how the shelves swung aside to reveal a narrow corridor.

"And Sirius made a map of the house," Harry added. "Is it all mine, Sirius?"

"All yours. Have you seen the garden yet?"

Harry ran off, and Sirius ushered Remus upstairs.

"This is Harry's room. Has a nice view of the river."

Remus peered in. Clearly, Sirius had done a lot to make the room welcoming. Everything was Gryffindor red and gold.

"This is going to be mine," Sirius said, leading him to a room across the hall.

Remus pressed his lips together. He wished Sirius hadn't done this.

The room was nothing like what Sirius himself would have liked. Bookshelves lined the walls. The lights were oil lamps, not torches, because while Sirius preferred torches, Remus found it hard to read by flickering light. The bed was piled high with soft bedding, despite Sirius' preference for a firm mattress. In short, Sirius meant this to be Remus' dream bedroom.

And it was.

The more Remus looked around, the more he could imagine himself reading in one of the comfortable leather armchairs by the fire, or watching Harry practice Quidditch from the wide window-seat, or sipping tea in bed --

"You love it, don't you?"

Remus drew in a breath. He didn't want to argue with Sirius, and he didn't want to hurt him. Sirius did love him, even if Remus knew the love wasn't the sort you could build a life on. "The room is beautiful, Sirius."

"I knew you'd think so. Now tell me, wouldn't you rather have all this --" Sirius gestured around the room. "Instead of grimy, dank dungeons, infested with rats and snakes and --"

"No rats, Sirius," Remus said softly.

"That just goes to show you even rats are smarter than to live there."

"I don't want to fight with you."

At that moment, Harry came running in, and Sirius' scowl disappeared behind a forced smile.

Remus took one last look around the bedroom before following the two downstairs.

Sirius' offer was tempting. It had been tempting back in their school days, as well, but back then Remus had chosen to remain solitary. That option was no longer available. With no home and no work, Remus was reliant on charity for his very existence.

It was not an easy choice to be faced with.

On the one hand, Sirius offered him the sort of life Remus had only dreamed of. He would have everything, and live surrounded by friends. If he hadn't known Sirius as well as he did, Remus would have chosen him on the spot.

Sirius preferred women. Which was not to say he didn't like men as well, but Remus didn't think Sirius would be happy spending his life with a man, even if it was his best friend. It would always be an issue between them, and Sirius would always miss what he couldn't have. Remus couldn't allow him to do it, knowing what would happen. Eventually, Sirius would grow to resent him, but by then it would be too late; wizard marital vows could not be broken.

But what if Remus rejected him? Sirius had Harry, after all. Remus didn't know if he could stand losing them both.

On the other hand, there was his relationship with Snape, which had only just begun to blossom when Sirius' return set it back so far. Snape offered none of the comforts and material possessions. Rigidly pragmatic, Snape owned only what he needed, lived simply, and frowned on any sort of merrymaking. Remus' love of the arts, opera, and Muggle cinema and music would be stifled.

But Snape could make Wolfsbane. Though he had never held it over Remus' head, Remus couldn't help but be uneasy about Snape's potential reaction to rejection. Dumbledore was no longer around to force Snape's compliance, and Remus' health was shaky at best these days.

And Snape could love him, potentially. Sometimes Remus thought he might be the only one Snape had ever truly come close to loving, besides Lily. It had been so in their school days, and it was so now. Snape had no reason to open himself up to possible hurt, and yet he did, even in the face of opposition as formidable as Sirius Black's intention of having Remus for himself.

Remus shook his head to clear away the thoughts. Whatever he decided, there would be repercussions. Neither could he continue as he was, taking no sides and making no decision. Leading both men on would only cause more problems in the end.

Remus stopped in front of the heavy oak door and knocked lightly.

"Come in, Remus," Sirius called from inside. "I left it open."

Remus entered and looked around curiously. The last time he'd seen Sirius' office, it was a mess of half-unpacked crates and boxes. Now it was neat as a pin. "Cleared it out, have you?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a slob, Remus. A place for everything, and everything in it's place, that's my motto."

Remus tried not to laugh. Did Sirius know how comical that was, coming from him? "I think it's great you managed to get organized. That woman left a loathsome mess. Now, what did you want to see me about?"

Sirius coughed slightly and averted his eyes. "Just wondered how your date with Snape went."

Remus crossed his arms over his chest. "It was fine. Is there some reason you wish to know?"

"Just looking out for my Moony," Sirius said, still not looking at him.

"Really, Sirius. I can manage my own affairs."

Sirius coughed derisively, and Remus wished he had chosen his words with more care. There was a long, uncomfortable silence.

"Is there anything else?"

Sirius shrugged. "Would it help to ask you not to see him again? The git threw me the ugliest sneer over breakfast this morning."

"No."

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do, Remus. Only don't see him just to show me you can."

"That would never be my reason for doing anything."

"Then why?" Sirius demanded. "You can't possibly enjoy it!"

"I do."

Sirius stared at him, a scowl creeping over his face. "Explain it to me."

Remus exhaled in frustration. Explaining wouldn't do any good, he knew. "We have a lot in common."

Sirius snorted. "Is that so?"

"We both enjoy reading and research. We're both focused on our work."

"All work and no fun, sounds like," Sirius said. "I know you're not that boring, Remus. You like your fun."

"But not all the time," Remus said. "I need someone I can have a decent, intelligent conversation with, Sirius. I can't talk about nothing but Quidditch."

Sirius looked hurt, and Remus was mildly sorry for losing his cool. Sirius might know nothing about the classics, and his conversations did turn to Quidditch too often for Remus' taste, but Remus enjoyed them nonetheless.

"Look," he said, shaking his head slightly. "We had something in school, and it didn't work out because I chose to listen to my friends rather than follow my own heart. Now I'm getting a second chance. Maybe it's not perfect, and maybe we are both different now, but this time I plan to give it a chance to develop."

"You're mad, Remus," Sirius said, leaving his seat and crossing the room to the window. "I can't believe you're even considering it."

Remus said nothing. A full minute passed in silence.

Sirius turned to face him, a mixture of anger and confusion on his face. "Just tell me why you don't want me. I have everything to offer you! I'll love you! You know I'll love you!"

Remus felt a familiar ache in his chest. Sirius' pleading always hurt more than any angry word could. "I know you think so, Sirius. I also know you won't be happy with me. I can't be what you want. Another woman will come along, like before, only this time you won't be free to go. I can't --"

"You're wrong!" Sirius nearly shouted, his face turning red.

Remus shook his head. "I'm not wrong. We tried it, Sirius, and it didn't work out. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to be hurt."

Sirius had crossed the room and had him by the shoulders before Remus could blink. "I wouldn't hurt you! It's him, isn't it? He's filled your head with these ideas, hasn't he?"

Remus staggered back, pulling out of Sirius' grasp. "No. Stop it, Sirius. He hasn't done anything."

"How can you think he could love you more than I could?" Sirius fumed. "I'll prove it to you! Just tell me what you want!"

Remus took another step back, reaching for the door handle. "I think we both need some time to cool off."

He made his escape into the hallway, and leaned heavily against the door.

It was just as he'd feared. Sirius would do anything to keep him from Snape, even if it meant taking Remus for a lover himself.

And Sirius wasn't going to take rejection any easier than Snape would.


"Come in," Severus called, not waiting for Lupin to knock.

Lupin pushed the door open just enough to squeeze though. A terrible habit, in Severus' opinion. "You wanted to see me?"

"I wished to discuss something with you. Sit down."

Lupin looked around, finally choosing an armchair that wasn't completely buried under stacks of books and papers, and sat down.

Severus opened his record log and pretended to consult it, though he knew the contents by heart. "The full moon is two weeks away."

Lupin cleared his throat. "I haven't forgotten. Will you prepare the Wolfsbane this month?"

Severus couldn't help but fix him with an ugly glare. Was the man really so daft? "As I do every month, Lupin. However, I would like to discuss the possibility of additional treatment for your condition."

Lupin leaned forward. "Additional treatment?"

"I have been working on another potion. If successful, it may relieve many of the symptoms of your transformations."

Lupin's adam's apple bobbed in his throat, but he remained surprisingly calm. "Really? I would be most grateful for something of that nature, Severus."

"I understand the transformations have been more difficult lately?"

"Yes."

"The pain level has increased?"

"Yes."

Severus pretended to make note of it. "I believe I have the solution. I warn you, however, that it may not be practical to implement."

Lupin frowned. "How so?"

"You will have to follow a strict regimen. At least three days before the full moon, and at least three after."

"I see no problem so far," Lupin said, his brow furrowing. "I take the Wolfsbane daily already."

"The potion must be applied topically."

"I... er... I see," Lupin said, this time swallowing audibly. "And... er... just how must that be done?"

"It must be spread over your body," Severus said calmly, "repeatedly, over the course of several hours. Prior to application, you will need to take a muscle relaxant."

Lupin was quiet for a long time. So long, in fact, that Severus began to fear Lupin would reject his proposal, voiding many weeks of meticulous and exhausting work.

"I assume the muscle relaxant will prevent me from being able to apply the potion myself?"

Severus nodded. "It will."

Lupin sighed. "Well. I admit I'm at a loss as to how I am to manage this, Severus."

Severus forced his face to remain carefully void of emotion. "I'm sure Black can be taught to do it properly. The man is not such a dunce."

Lupin looked down at his hands, and Severus knew he was thinking the same thing Severus himself knew to be fact. To spend hours rubbing a potion into the skin of his friend -- or even his lover -- could very well be beyond the limits of Black's patience.

"I will discuss it with him, of course," Lupin said, his smile now tight and forced. "Thank you... for your concern for my well-being."

Severus waved him off. "I am Potions master of this school, am I not? I'm merely doing my job." He paused before continuing. "If Black is unable to do it, you will let me know, won't you? I'm eager to test the potency of this potion, and I can think of no better subject. I will apply the potion myself, if needed, after the full moon. That's when the results will be easiest to see."

"I understand," Lupin said weakly. "I will let you know."

"Good," Severus said. "I will send the potion over, along with instructions, in the morning. Now, if you don't mind, I have a lot of work."

"Of course," Lupin said, rising rather shakily. "Thank you."

"I expect you will still make it to dinner Thursday night?" Severus inquired, opening the door for him.

"Yes," Lupin said absently. "Of course."

"Good night, Lupin."


Remus stared glumly at the roll of parchment -- covered from top to bottom in Snape's neat script -- that had accompanied the bottle containing what appeared to be dark oil. Snape had failed to mention a few details, before.

"What's that, Remus?" Sirius asked, coming up behind him.

"A potion Severus made for me."

"What's it do?"

"He thinks it will relieve some of the pain and discomfort before and after the change."

Sirius patted him on the shoulder. "That's great. You've had it rough lately."

"I don't think I'll be able to use it," Remus said, shaking his head.

"What?"

Remus offered him the parchment. "Take a look."

It took Sirius a few minutes to read it, and over that time Remus watched a frown gather on his face. When he finally looked up, his expression was grim. "Is he going to do this to you?"

"No," Remus said, forgetting his agreement with Snape. "He suggested you might be able to. If not, I guess that's the end of it."

Sirius looked down at the parchment again. "I could try."

Remus heard the unmistakable tone of disgust in Sirius' voice, and he couldn't bring himself to blame him. "Don't be silly, Sirius. I know that's farther than you're willing to go. I can't ask you to do that."

Sirius' stuck up his chin stubbornly. "I can do it. If this is what you need."

"I can't let you do it," Remus said softly. "It will disgust you, and I couldn't take that."

Sirius hesitated. Then, surprising Remus by the quickness of his withdrawal, he pushed the parchment away. "I'm sorry, Remus."

Remus picked up the parchment and rolled it up. "Can't be helped. I'm sure something else will come up."

Sirius looked regretful. "I am sorry, Remus. It's just too much."

"Don't worry about it," Remus assured him.

When Sirius left the room, Remus unrolled the parchment again and read the instructions once more.

So he'd been right about Sirius. When it came to men, blowjobs -- receiving them, that is -- were as far as he was willing to go.

Remus shook his head and pushed the bottle back into the padded bag it had come in, followed by the instructions and the soft capsules containing the muscle relaxant.

Everyone had their limits. This was Sirius', and Remus couldn't hold it against him. If he was completely honest with himself, the procedure Snape described caused his own stomach to turn a bit.


"He couldn't do it," Remus said. "Sirius is --"

"Mostly straight?" Snape finished for him, arching an eyebrow. "Or just unusually repulsed by the male body?"

"Possibly both."

"I see."

"I assume you have no such problem?"

"None," Snape said calmly. "Over the years, I have made -- and personally applied -- any number of such potions. It's quite a common procedure."

"Right," Remus said with another sigh. "Perfectly common." He crossed his arms over his chest, hugging his robes tighter to his body.

"I see you savaged yourself even more than usual," Snape said, looking him over critically. "Until now you had managed to avoid your face."

"Yes," Remus said simply. The gashes on his arms were nothing compared to the pain caused by the ones on his face and neck. They would scar...

"I believe the potion will prevent scarring," Snape said, as if reading his thoughts.

Maybe he had, Remus thought. He was too exhausted and in too much pain to care if Snape committed that violation.

Snape looked at him for another few moments before continuing. "There are two ways to do this, Lupin. On the table or on the bed. Your choice."

Remus felt a lump rise in his throat. "Wh-Which is better for you?"

"Bed," Snape said after a moment of thought. "Easier to clean up. The sheets can simply be rolled up."

"Very practical. All right then, the bed."

Snape said nothing, but led him down a short hallway. Remus had never been in Snape's bedroom, and despite everything he felt his curiosity rising.

"Undress and lie down," Snape said unceremoniously once they were inside.

Remus made a move toward the bed, then stopped, his back toward Snape. He couldn't do this. Not like this.

"Severus?"

"What is it, Lupin?"

"Would you... er... like to have sex?"

There was such absolute silence behind him that Remus began to feel a little frightened.

Then Snape cleared his throat. "What brings this on, if I may ask?"

Remus shrugged, wincing as a wound on his shoulder reopened. "What we're going to do, that's almost as intimate. You may not think so, but to me it seems very much that way. It may be as good a time as any to take our relationship to a more... physical level." He held his breath, waiting for whatever Snape might say. He had no idea how Snape might react.

"Unlike Black, I have no qualms about sex. A pity if you do, Lupin. As far as your proposal, I have no argument against it. I would, however, like to point out that the muscle relaxant will leave you effectually paralyzed."

"What if we do it before --"

"I'm not in the habit of letting my lovers bleed to death while I fuck them."

Remus felt heat rush to his face. Snape certainly had a way of putting things.

"However," Snape continued when Remus didn't speak, "if you prefer to treat this as foreplay, I believe it may be a fair facsimile. There is always the morning, if you still wish to do it then."

Remus nodded. "Fine."

"In that case," Snape said, coming up behind him, "let me help you undress."

Remus allowed Snape to remove his robes before sitting down on the bed and making an attempt to tug off his boots.

"Let me," Snape said, brushing aside Remus' hands.

Naked and slightly shaky, Remus waited for further instructions.

Instead, Snape leaned down and kissed him, thin, hard lips pressing against his without much force.

Remus couldn't help the thought that Sirius put more passion into his kisses. Still, it was a start, and Remus parted his lips to allow Snape' tongue inside.

Apparently satisfied, Snape released him and stood up, shrugging out of his own robes. "Get comfortable, Lupin."

"Do you suppose you could call me Remus?"

"Remus," Snape repeated flatly. He pulled the cork out of a small bottle and poured a dose into a spoon. "The muscle relaxant should work faster in liquid form."

Remus reached for the spoon, but Snape kneeled on the bed and brought it to his mouth. "Wouldn't want you to spill. Your hands are shaking." He frowned, then took out his wand and pointed to the fireplace, casting a quick spell. The fire roared. "Better?"

"Thank you," Remus said, grimacing at the taste of the medicine sliding down his throat.

Almost immediately, he began to feel weak. He found himself unable to assist as Snape moved him carefully onto the center of the bed.

"As I explained earlier, several applications will be required," Snape said. He was pulling on a pair of gloves which Remus thought might be made of thin snakeskin.

He was going to ask, but found his mouth uncooperative.

"You will not be able to speak," Snape confirmed, frowning down at him. "It's best not to try, or you risk biting your tongue."

Remus watched helplessly as Snape continued to prepare. The bottle of potion was uncorked and set on a tray next to his head, then Snape muttered a few spells Remus did not recognize, and finally...

"I will begin with the worst of your injuries. After that, I will make a more thorough application."

Remus shut his eyes.

It was a few more minutes -- or maybe it only seemed that way -- before Snape's hand touched his face.

It was like liquid fire touching his skin.

It took him a moment to realize he wasn't burning, and in fact there was no pain. The heat spread outward and inward from where Snape's fingertips moved in small, firm circles. Remus would almost swear the heat reached through to his bones.

He understood now why Snape had said it would take hours to apply the potion. The potion had to be carefully massaged into the skin, care taken to cover all of it. It was a slow process.

At some point, Remus opened his eyes so he could watch Snape's face. Snape never met his eyes. The only time he looked away from what he was doing was when he reached for the bottle to pour more of the potion into the palm of one hand.

The further down Remus' chest Snape's hand went, the more butterflies gathered in Remus' stomach.

Snape hadn't warned him it would feel so good. The potion didn't just heat. It vibrated. It pulsed deep in his muscles and through his veins like so many tiny heartbeats.

Snape's fingers circled Remus' nipples slowly, rubbing perhaps more, and certainly longer, than necessary. Remus couldn't help but moan softly.

"Good?" Snape inquired, his eyes flickering briefly to Remus' face.

Of course, Remus couldn't answer, but Snape did not appear to be looking for confirmation. A moment later he moved on to Remus' ribs, where the worst of his injuries were.

"That's all of the wounds," Snape said, a few minutes later. "You might like to know that they're healing as expected. I will now apply the potion over your entire body. If you're tired, you may sleep. This will take several hours."

Remus was tired. The change had been particularly brutal. He found himself dozing, waking occasionally when Snape touched a sensitive spot. When consciousness returned fully, Snape was massaging his feet.

Remus watched him with half-open eyes. As usual, there was no discernible expression on Snape's face.

"I'm going to turn you over now," Snape said.

So it was halfway done, then.

After turning him onto his stomach, Snape carefully propped Remus' head up with a thin pillow before proceeding.

There was nothing Remus could do but wait. Snape made steady progress.

Finally, he took Snape's advice, and allowed sleep to come.

By the time he opened his eyes again, Snape was finished and was sitting on the edge of the bed, stroking Remus' arm lightly.

"Sleep," Snape said. "You need it."

Remus closed his eyes again. The last thing he remembered was a blanket being drawn over his body.


"You slept with him."

Remus refused to be moved by Sirius' accusing tone. "It's an adult relationship, Sirius. That tends to happen."

"You slept with him. How could you, Remus?"

Remus bit his tongue to keep back the first retort that came to mind. "This is none of your business."

"Like hell it's not! You can't tell me you willingly went to bed with that greasy git!"

Remus crossed his arms and glared at him, refusing to answer. Sirius had no business accusing him of anything.

"Does this mean you've made your choice?"

"No," Remus said. "I haven't made anything."

"But you slept with him."

"We've established that fact."

"So that's it, is it? You'll choose him because he's willing to fuck you." Sirius shook his head, looking disgusted.

"That's not true."

"Isn't it? Name one thing he can give you that I can't, aside from that. Go ahead. Name it. I'd like to hear it."

Remus swallowed hard. Sirius did have a point, to a certain extent. There wasn't anything concrete he could point to --

"You can't, can you, Remus," Sirius said, sneering. "You can't. So, there you have it." He stood up abruptly, taking his cloak. "I'll leave you to think it over. I sincerely hope you'll think hard."

The door slammed behind him, and Remus dropped his head into his hands with a groan.

Was Sirius right? Was Remus choosing sex over true friendship? He had never doubted Sirius' affection for him, while Snape...

Well, who knew what Snape was feeling, really. Remus had spent more time with him than anyone, except perhaps Dumbledore, and he still didn't feel like he knew the man.

The night he'd spent in Snape's bed hadn't changed a thing. It was still an impossible choice.