Genius and the Beast

*NOTE* - Okay, obviously, the characters don't belong to me. They all belong to CLAMP, and I am merely borrowing them for this fanfic. Beauty and the Beast is a trademark to Disney, and I do not own the story. And I would give some credit to lemistressv who has inspired me to writing this story. Also, if you like this one, why don't you try and read my Count of Monte Cephiro pic? That one is finished......it was only a suggestion... Well, that's about it.

Characters:

Houoji Fuu – Genius

Ferio – the Beast

Geo Metro – Bad guy

Zazu – Bad guy's assistant

Ascot – Genius' father

Eagle Vision – Candlestick

Kailu Lantis – Clock

Ryuuzaki Umi – Teapot

Clef – Teacup

Shidou Hikaru – Wardrobe

Tatra, Tarta, Caldina – Bad guy admirers

Presea – Broom

Aska – Narrator

Mokona - Director

Scene 1

(Aska enters, with a book in her hands. She is smiling, a bit too widely)

Aska: Today, I'm about to tell you a story. (lifts her hand to her chin) Ohohohohohoho! Ehem…(starts to sing) This is the story, of a lovely lady! (hums to the Brady Bunch theme)

Sang Yung: Lady Aska, I think you have the wrong storybook.

Aska: Oh, right. Ehem…There once was a castle where lived a snobbish and ugly looking prince. He was spoiled, selfish, and unkind.

Ferio: HEY!

Aska: (glares) And…one day, since he was sooo ugly, an old beggar woman came to his castle, begging for food and shelter. In return for her safe being, she offered him a single golden arrow with pure white feathers at the top.

Sang Yung: What does his ugliness have to do with her begging for food in his castle?

Aska: Be quiet and let me finish. Now, the prince, since he was very snobbish, and he thought that the old beggar woman was very stupid, so he turned her down. The beggar woman told him not to be deceived by appearances, for true intelligence is found within. The prince still kept dismissing her! So, the woman turned into Albert Einstein! The prince tried to beg for mercy, but Albie said, "Mercy's for the weak!" and turned the prince into….A FROG!

Ferio: BEAST!!! BEAST!!

Sang Yung: Wrong story again, Lady Aska.

Aska: (frowned) Fine! I liked my version better! Well, anyway…

Ferio: (mutters to himself) Why is Aska the storyteller anyway?

Fuu: That's because she forced the director to.

Ferio: And who's the director?

Fuu: (points) Mokona….

Ferio: Figures….

Aska: (is still telling the story) The arrow was enchanted and it will wilt after his 21st birthday.

Ferio: How does an arrow wilt?

Fuu: Will you just listen to the story?

Aska: So, the beast hid away in his enchanted palace with an enchanted arrow. And the only way to break the spell was to get a facelift! Okay, okay, he had to open his heart to a woman with great knowledge and beauty. And in return, the woman would also have to love this beast in return. But who would? He's so ugly! And so begins the story of the Genius and the Beast.

Sang Yung: (claps) Bravo! That was beautiful, Lady Aska!

Aska: (bows) Of course, Sang Yung. I'm an expert!

Ferio: NEXT SCENE!

Scene 2

(scene opens up to a small village in Cephiro, and Fuu enters, carrying a small basket and a book)

Fuu: (starts to sing)

Little town, it's a quiet village.
Ev'ry day like the one before.
Little town, full of little people,
waking up to say:

Mokona: (pops up) PU PU!

Lafarga: Bonjour!

Ferio: This is ruined!

Lafarga: (glaring at Ferio) Bonjour!

Mokona: PU PU!

Fuu: (sighs then continues, pointing at Lafarga)

There goes the baker with his tray, like always,
the same old bread and rolls to sell.
Ev'ry morning just the same,
since the morning that we came,
to this poor provincial town.

Lafarga: Mornin', Fuu!

Fuu: Morning, Monsieur Lafarga!

Lafarga: Where are you off to?

Fuu: The bookshop, of course! I just finished the most wonderful story – about a beanstalk and an ogre and…

Lafarga: That's nice. Mokona, the baguettes! Hurry up!

Fuu: (getting angry) I wasn't finished yet!

Lafarga: You're not supposed to!

(Fuu turns away, and Caldina, Presea, Tarta, and Tatra stare at her.)

Caldina, Presea, Tarta. Tatra:

Look, there she goes-
That girl is strange, no question.
Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?

Presea: Never part of any crowd!

Tarta: 'Cause her head's upon some cloud.

Tatra: (giggles) Tarta, your accent!

Tarta: Sister!

Caldina and Presea: (ignoring the Chizetan princess) No denying she's a funny girl that Fuu!

Lafarga: Bonjour!

Caldina: Aaaaah!!!

Lafarga: What?

Caldina: You scared me!

Presea: Good day!

Lafarga: How is your family?

Tatra: Bonjour!

Lafarga: Good day!

Tarta: How is your wife?

Lafarga: Wife? I don't have one!

Caldina: I need six eggs!

Lafarga: That's too expensive!

Fuu: (singing above the rest) There must be more than this provincial life!

(Fuu runs into a building and screams as she sees Lafarga)

Fuu: You're the librarian, too?

Lafarga: Why not? Ah, Fuu!

Fuu: Er…good morning, Monsieur Lafarga, again. I'm here to return this biology book I borrowed.

Lafarga: (looks strangely at her) My goodness, a 5000-page book done, already? In two days? Do you have a life?

Fuu: Oh, I couldn't put it down. Do you have anything new?

Lafarga: You read my library dry, you freak!

Fuu: How rude! (smiles) But that's okay, I'll borrow this one!

Lafarga: A calculus book? You've read that twice? Haven't you memorized everything?

Fuu: Well, it's my favorite! Quadratic equations, the many decimals, fractions, magic tricks, and even architecture you could do!

Lafarga: (is disgusted) Geesh, if you like it that much, you can have it!

Fuu: But, sir!

Lafarga: Keep it!

Fuu: Well, thank you! Thank you very much!

(Fuu walks out, starting to read the book while walking and bumping into things.)

Lafarga and Sang Yung: Look, there she goes.
The girl is so peculiar!
I wonder if she's feeling well.
Caldina and Presea: With a dreamy far off look.

Lafarga and Sang Yung: And her nose stuck in a book.

Everyone: What a puzzle to the rest of us is Fuu!

(Fuu sits on a fountain and keeps reading)

Fuu: Now isn't this marvelous!
It's my favorite part because--you'll see!
Here's where we learn quadratic equations.
But you won't discover the formula 'til chapter three!
(In a hairdresser shop, Lafarga is messing up Caldina's hair)

Caldina: Ouch! Now it's no wonder that her name means 'Wind'.
Her speediness of reading have got no parallel!

Lafarga: (trying to sing in a French accent)

But behind that fair facade, I'm afraid she's rather odd.
Very different from the rest of us.

Presea and Caldina: She's nothing like the rest of us.
Yes, different from the rest of us is Fuu!

(Fuu passes by Geo and Zazu)

Geo: (tried to shoot a bird, but accidentally shoots somebody's hat instead) Dammit!

Zazu: (smacks head and pretending to be amazed) Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Geo. You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!
Geo: I know.

Zazu: (coughs) Yeah right. Ehem…No hat alive…I mean, no beast alive stands a chance against you…and no girl for that matter.

Geo: It's true, Zazu. And I've got my sights set on that one. (points at Mokona)

Zazu: (stares) Mokona?

Geo: NO! That one! (points at Fuu)

Zazu: Oh…the Beast Summoner's daughter?

Geo: She's the one, the lucky girl I'm going to marry.

Zazu: But she's…

Geo: The most intelligent girl in town!

Zazu: I know, but…

Geo: That makes her the best! And don't I deserve the best?

Zazu: You suck! I mean…of course you do, but…

Geo: (sings, to everyone's dismay) Right from the moment when I met her, saw her,
I said, "She's intelligent" and I fell.
Here in town there's only she who is as intelligent as me.
So I'm making plans to woo and marry Fuu!

Tarta, Tatra, and Caldina: (starts to swoon as Geo passes them and start to sing)

Look there he goes.
Isn't he dreamy?
Monsieur Geo, oh he's so cute!
Be still, my heart, I'm hardly breathing.
He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute!

(A bunch of people start to argue, mainly, Lafarga, Mokona, and Presea, while Geo tries to get to Fuu.)

Geo: GET OUT OF MY WAY!

Fuu: There must be more than this provincial life!

Geo: Just watch I'm going to make Fuu my wife!

Everyone in town: Look, there she goes.
The girl is strange, but special.
A most peculiar mademoiselle!
It's a pity and a sin she doesn't quite fit in.
But she really is a funny girl.
A nerdy and a funny girl.
She really is a funny girl, that Fuu!

Mokona: PU PU!

Lafarga: Bonjour!

Tarta: Bonjour!

Geo: (a bit too loudly) Bonjour!

(Fuu looks around, then continues to read, until Geo pops up in front of her)

Geo: Fuu!

Fuu: Bonjour, Geo.

Geo: What's this? (grabs book)

Fuu: It's a book. Can you please give it back?

Geo: But there aren't any pictures! What the heck are…quad…qua-der-ia…

Fuu: It's QUADRATIC! QUADRATIC EQUATIONS!

Geo: Oh, posh, why read all this? (throws book into the mud) You should pay attention to more important things, like me.

Tarta, Tatra, and Caldina: (swoons)

Fuu: (nods) Yes, and I see that I need to help my father right now.

Zazu: You mean that crazy old coot? BWAHAHAHA!

Geo: HAHAHAHA!

Fuu: My father is not crazy! He is a genius Beast Summoner!

(They could hear an explosion from the Beast Summoner's cottage. Fuu ran towards the explosion, as everyone else laughed. Geo smacked Zazu just because he felt like it.)

Caldina: Who does she think she is?

Tarta: She's strange.

Tatra: He's so gorgeous!

Tarta and Caldina: You really are playing your part very well, Tatra.

Tatra: Who said I was playing? (giggle)

Tarta: SISTER!

Ferio: (sighs) Alright, next scene.

Scene 3

(An explosion and a roar could be heard from a small cottage in the middle of nowhere. Fuu hurried to her father's cottage.)

Fuu: (throwing open the door) Father! What's happening?!

Ascot: Argh! I summoned the wrong beast again!

Fuu: (sighs) That's okay, father. Um…do you think I'm weird?

Ascot: Well, you read calculus, biology, chemistry, and forensic books, for goodness sakes! What kind of weirdo does that?

Fuu: Hey! That's not in the line!

Ascot: (says in an unemotional voice) No, you aren't weird, Fuu. You're just interested in things that people think are weird that's all. It helps to be different.

Fuu: Yes, but, I don't fit in here. There's hardly anyone I could talk to.

Ascot: How about Geo? He's a brilliant fellow.

Fuu: (gags) BRILLIANT? Uhm…I mean, he's brilliant, handsome, conceited, self-centered, too much steroids, and other things that we don't have in common.

Ascot: That's your problem, then. I can't do much of anything for you until I Summon this beast right.

Fuu: Well, when is this Beast Summoning fair of yours?

Ascot: I'm leaving tonight, actually. Anything you want me to get you?

Fuu: How about a book?

Ascot: Anything but a book!

Fuu: (looks thoughtful) Um…oh! A golden arrow! That would be really cool!

Ascot: (sweatdrop) Um…okay, daughter dear. I'll be gone for a fortnight, so take care of yourself, and don't marry Geo or anything.

Fuu: Right, right.

(Ascot leaves the cottage)

Scene 4

(Ascot is flying on his bird that he summoned, with Mokona at the back. The woods were getting scarier than ever. Even Mokona was wimpering.)

Mokona: Pu pu pu pu pu…..pu pu pu pu…

Ascot: Shut up, you fluffball. I'm thinking here.

Mokona: (angrily) PU PU!

Ascot: Hey! Where are you going? Mokona!

(Mokona leaves, taking Ascot's pet away as well.)

Ascot: Hey! Mokona! You can't take my friend! How am I going to the Beast Summoner's fair?

(A bunch of weird freaky monsters were coming his way. The freakiest were the Chizetan princesses' Djinn, who were leading Aska's creations with them. Ascot began to scream like a girl and ran as fast as he could to Clef's castle.)

Ascot: HELP HELP! LET ME IN!!! LET ME IN!! (pushes open the door and barges inside the castle) Ooh…warm. Hello! Is anybody home?

(two little figures are in the distance)

Ascot: I know someone's got to be in here! Answer me! I'm lost, you know! And cold, and hungry, and MOKONA TOOK MY RIDE HOME!

(In the distance, a guy dressed as a candle and a guy dressed as a clock were fighting each other.)

Lantis: Don't say anything. Just don't say anything!

Eagle: Oh, Lantis, he's tired, and hungry. Mon dieu…He needs some rest. (saying out loud to Ascot) Why of course you could come in! Here, let me show you to a warmer room!

Ascot: (scratches head) Who's there? (tries to grab Eagle, but sees that the candle was almost as tall as he is, so he just pushes Eagle around) Who just said that?

Eagle: (smiles and taps Ascot's head)

Ascot: AAAH!!! A TALKING CANDLE!

Eagle: Eh…It's only me…Eagle.

Ascot: I thought you were dead!

Lantis: Eagle…I told you not to say anything!

Eagle: It's too late now. Come on now, monsieur. We have a warm fireplace right here.

Lantis: No, no, no, no, no, no! We can't have him traipsing about without the master's consent! He's going to kill us!

(in the shadows, a beast lurks by)

Ascot: (warms himself by the fake fire) It's still cold! I mean…ah…nice and warm. Let me sit at this nice chair.

Lantis: (smacks himself) Not the master's seat!

(Umi comes in, as a teapot, and Clef, as the teacup)

Umi: Would you like some spot of tea?

Ascot: Yeah! (picks up the cup, then looks at it, and screams) OH MY!

Clef: (looks evilly) Yeah? You have a problem, Ascot?

Ascot: Um…Clef? I thought this was your castle?

Clef: (shrugs) I didn't get the main male lead, so I'm stuck being the stupid teacup.

Ascot: Hehe…hey, Umi, is he your son?

Umi: (fumes) You better get back to your lines, Ascot, or else someone will be on the floor, dead.

Clef: Who's laughing now?

(they hear a roar)

Ferio: ROAR!

Tatra: (giggles) Ferio, you sound so cute!

Ferio: (blush blush) Tatra! I'm supposed to sound scary!

Umi: (sweatdrop) Who made Ferio beast anyway?

Eagle: (whispers) That's because Fuu was a good genius…

Umi: Oh, right.

Ferio: (barges in) Who are you? What are you doing in my castle?!

Clef: It isn't your castle, it's mine.

Ferio: Shut up, you teacup!

Clef: HEY!

Umi: Don't scream at my baby!

Eagle: Guys, let's not be too violent…

Lantis: I told you not to say anything.

Eagle: I wasn't talking to you…

Ascot: AAAAH!!! IT'S THE…Ferio?

Ferio: BEAST!

Ascot: IT'S THE BEAST!

Ferio: Why are you here? Get out!

Ascot: Please, sir, I was only here for room and board. I can explain. I needed a place to stay…

Ferio: Oh, if that's the case, then, follow me!

Ascot, Lantis, and Clef: Huh?

Ferio: You heard me, I'll show you to your room.

Clef: (exploding) You're supposed to drag him to the dungeon!

Ferio: (glares) What did I tell you, teacup?!?! SHUT UP!

Umi: WHAT DID I TELL YOU, FERIO?!?! DON'T SCREAM AT MY BABY!

Ascot: (stands up) Alright, I'll go with you.

Ferio: That's better.

(As Ascot and Ferio leave the room, Umi, Clef, Eagle, Lantis, and Tatra look at each other with regret.)

Scene 5

(outside of Fuu's cottage, Geo and the rest of the village are standing, with a bunch of party favors of some sort)

Presea: This is a planned wedding?

Tarta, Tatra, and Caldina: (weeping) Geo's getting married! And not to us!

Lafarga: You people have no life.

Geo: (clears throat) Okay, Zazu. Zazu? ZAZU!

Zazu: Right behind you, sir!

Geo: Zazu, remember, when Fuu and I come out of that house, you…

Zazu: I know…I shoot both of you down with this golden arrow.

Geo: Hey! How'd you get that? That was supposed to be in Ferio's castle.

Clef: IT'S MY CASTLE!

Geo: Put that back! And you're supposed to strike up the band with a wedding tune!

Zazu: Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I got ya.

Geo: Good. Now, I'm going to propose to my bride! (walks to Fuu's door and barges in) Fuu! Just the person I was looking for!

Fuu: Um…Sir Geo, what brings you here today?

Geo: Why, you of course! Fuu, I want you to become my wife!

Fuu: WHAT?!

Geo: Be my little wife, and we'll make lots of genius children! Think about it!

Fuu: Um…No, I don't think so.

Geo: Do not think to refuse me, Fuu.

Fuu: (opens door and pushes Geo outside, smiling) I can't Geo. It seems that I'm a bit…too undeserving of you.

(from outside, Geo is shrieking like a girl)

Geo: AAH!!! GET AWAY FROM ME, MOKONA!

Mokona: PU PU PU!

Zazu: How can I help you, Geo?

Geo: Get this fluffball away from me!

(inside the house)

Fuu: (makes a disgusted face) Well, can anyone imagine, he asked me to marry him! Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless...
"Madame Geo"-- can't you just see it?
"Madame Geo"-- his "little wife".
No sir, not me! I guarantee it.
I want much more than this provincial life!
(Fuu runs out of the house and into a garden, where she smells the fresh air and starts to cough hysterically, then begins to sing again)
I want adventure in the great wide somewhere.
I want it more than I can tell.
And for once it might be grand,
to have someone understand.
I want so much more than they've got planned...

(Mokona comes over and Fuu looked suspiciously)

Fuu: What's wrong, Mokona? What has happened to my father?

Mokona: PU PU PU!

Fuu: What? He got lost?

Ascot: HEY! MOKONA!! YOU TOOK MY RIDE AWAY!

Mokona: PU!

Fuu: And he's in danger?! Oh my! It seems I have to go and save him! Come on, Mokona! You have to show me the way!

~Whoo.....that was long! Okay, what do you think of it so far? I'm going to post the next part if I get at least 2 or 3 good reviews. If not, then I'll take this story down and just place it in my website...just take your time to review it please, if you read it.