Author: Yo! It's-a-me!
Narrator: And me!
Author: This is a good story. My char is Masamune.
Narrator: Good indeed. Mine's Emi!
Both: Let the story begin!
-Curtain opens-
"Oh Gaara Kazekage-sama!"
"Yes, what is it, Masamune?"
"May I possibly take a break from my assistant duties and go on a wee trip?"
"…What kind of trip…?"
"Nothing special, nothing special… Just to… Konoha."
"And why would you wish to go there on such short notice?"
"Just a whim, I suppose."
"…Hrm…"
"Please? I haven't used any of my vacation time, and I desperately need one. You're working me to-the-bone."
Gaara peered over the tall stacks of paperwork at his assistant, who was flopped over a couch in his office, painting her toenails. Yet another one of her many theatrical performances. Sometimes he wondered why he even had an assistant.
"Very well…"
"All right!"
"But take my siblings along as bodyguards… As an extra precaution."
"Crud!" She exclaimed, although secretly cheering to herself.
Inner Masamune: Oh yeah! Kankuro-sama gets to come along on my vacation! Hoo-hah! -Punches air-
Poof! The elder Sand Siblings entered Gaara's office, Shinobi-style. "You wanted to see us, Gaara?" Temari said, stepping ahead of Kankuro.
"Yes," Said the newly appointed Kazekage, folding his arms in front of his white and blue robes, "I need you two to act as escorts and bodyguards to Masamune while she's in Konoha."
"All right," Said Kankuro, twirling a tool between his fingers, "The only issue is, I'm working on a new puppet, and it can't be moved until the poison traps are all locked in place, or it could prove… Nasty."
"So, don't move it," Said Gaara, obviously not caring.
"But I think I should finish it first, or at least that phase…"
"Your orders are to escort Masamune. You will go when she sees fit."
Kankuro turned to the girl spread out on the couch, wearing a black Suna forehead protector in its full form, a black mask, a small top showing nearly her entire torso and… Was it legal to have shorts that short? Just below those was a pair of wooden shin guards with the Suna symbol on them in bright purple.
"Well?"
"How long do you think until you can move the puppet?"
"Hrm… About… twenty-four hours."
"Well… My toes need to finish drying, and then I need to tie up any loose paperwork..."
'Yeah, right,' thought Gaara.
"And then… I need to make sure that all leftover missions are carried out… And all that leftover pork in my fridge is thrown out…"
"So?" Said Kankuro, getting impatient.
"Sure, that'll be just enough time, I think." Masamune smiled. "Temari-san, why don't you go and pack? I'm planning on staying in Konoha for a good while."
"Yep," Said Chouji, eating a potato chip.
"Yep," Said Emi, a girl with pure white hair.
"Yep," Said Ino, taking a sip of tea.
"Mm-hm," Said Shikamaru, stealing one of Chouji's chips.
"Well, enough King of the Hill rip-offs," Said Emi, stretching.
"What should we do instead?" Asked Chouji.
"I dunno. Let's ask the idea man." She looked to Shikamaru.
"I actually have a class to teach in a while," Said Shikamaru, "And you guys don't want Asuma-sensei breathing down your necks, do you?"
"Guess not…" Said Ino.
"Well then, what am I supposed to do?" Emi moaned.
"I guess I can meet you after my class… For Shougi…" Shikamaru said, smiling a little.
"Or barbecue!" Chouji suggested.
"Um, okay… See you guys later, I guess…" Emi walked along the random paths of Konoha, singing showtunes loudly and uproariously. "Luck, be a lady tonight! Luck, be a lady to-night! Luck, if you've ever been a lady to begin with, Luck, be a lady tonight!"
The Gate.
A doorway to another world.
Something's gone wrong…
What?
This isn't the right world…
The right world?
Yes, Edward…
Edward… That's me…
You will find what you seek here…
That's… Me…?
I'll see you soon, Edward…
See… Me…?
Goodbye…
Good… Bye…
"Only two and a quarter days, and we're here! …Are you all right, guys?"
Kankuro groaned. "Masamune… You're supposed to sleep on the way…"
Temari was nearly falling over. "We tried to tell you, but you're like the Energizer Bunny."
"You just keep going and going and going… And going… And going…" They said, hanging their heads.
"Um… Oops?"
Inner Masamune: Crud! I'm such a moron! Grrrr!
"Yeah, oops…" Kankuro said, shifting the weight of the unfinished puppet.
"Y hallo thar!" Came a cry from a tree next to them. Emi jumped down.
"Hallo back! Who are you, may I ask?" Said Masamune.
"My name is Emi, and… Ah! I see you have a sword!"
"Hm… And you seem to have some sort of weaponry, as well…"
"Oh, I recognize that work! It's an original Oroka-san, is it not?"
"Yes, actually. Oh, those poles strapped to your legs… Extendable nickelstaffs, right?"
"Yeah!"
They went up to each other, and smacked their hands together. Then, they did an elaborate pattern of slaps on each others' legs. They lifted their hands above their heads and yelled out, "Yargh! Weapons have we!" Then, they linked arms and skipped in a circle for a few minutes.
"Ah, yeah," Said Emi, "I was sick of only practicing that with Ten-Ten… So, you're in the club too, huh?"
"Yep. Card carrying member!"
They laughed. While they had been doing their little secret handshake, Temari and Kankuro had fallen asleep on each other.
"Oh dear," Said Masamune, covering her mouth.
"Here, stay at that hotel." Emi pointed to the forty-story hotel they were standing next to.
"Well, I never… When did that get there?" Emi shrugged.
"Well, I guess I'd better get Kankuro-sama and Temari-san inside. Goodbye!"
"Bye."
Baki was just walking along, having the most normal day in a while. No whiny brats, no uppity Kankuro, and Gaara was doing his job. Yep, just a great day. Until, of course, he came across this kid with one arm and one leg, going on and on about something called "alchemy," and asking where the hell he was and who took his limbs, which were made out of "Automail," which he had never heard of. And some nonsense about a Gate, his brother, and some demons… "Homunculi," or whatever. All in all, Baki thought the kid was a loony, and took him to the Kazekage's office.
Author: I hate Baki.
Narrator: Yeah.
Readers: Us too!
