Chapter One
"Hey Montana, wait up." Danny called jogging down the hallway to catch up with me. I ignored him, I couldn't deal with him right now, I just couldn't. I knew if I wanted to escape him the only way was to run away. I refused to run, what if I tripped? It wasn't worth the risk to me. I felt him grab my arm and turn me around to face him. "Ease up, I just wanna talk."
"What Danny, what is there to talk about?" I asked him angrily before turning to walk away again, this time he choose to walk beside me. I heard him sigh and I just wanted to slap him, hard. What did he have to sigh about? Yeah Ruben died, yeah Danny was the last one with him, but no it wasn't his fault, but he still went and fucked Ruben's mom, god knows how long that had been going on.
"Us, Lindsay, you and me." He practically cried. God he sounded so pathetic and lost. It's his own damn fault. Does he know how much he hurt me? Does he care, can't he tell that I don't want to be near him right now, that I can't even stand to breathe the same air he is right now.
"Danny, there is no us, there never was, I get that. Okay so just let it go." I said calmly and coldly as I continued to walk and he just stood there. I pressed the down button and waited for the elevator, when it dinged announcing its presence I stepped in and rolled my eyes watching Danny run to enter before the doors closed. Damnit he made it, damn him for his speed.
"What? What do you mean there never was?" He continued as I just stood there and watch the numbers change as we descended down the floor, I felt like this elevator was heading straight to hell. "Linds?"
"What Danny, what do you want me to say? That I forgive you? Fuck no I don't. Come'on tell me the truth Rikki's lived down the hall from you for how long and you expect me to believe that the other night was the only time? You really think I'm that stupid?" I yelled at him, if he wanted a fight well then he was gonna get a brawl.
"It was that day was the only time, in all the years they lived there, it was the only time, okay? I swear." He pleaded desperately trying hold my gaze, but I refused.
"No, it's not okay." I said stepping out of the elevator and towards my car, which of course wasn't there; I took the subway to work today. I groaned and turned to head back towards the elevator, running smack into Danny. Bastard he knew I took the subway.
'Let me take you home." He pleaded the slightest grin on his face.
"Danny quit it." I said moving myself outside his personal space.
"Montana, just tonight, I swear." He said pulling me back in front of him. "Let me take you home tonight."
"You're willing to drive all the way back to Montana?" I asked turning away from him to the passenger side of his SUV. Before sitting down I turned back and looked at him. His head hung and his shoulders sagged in defeat. God was he broken, tomorrow will be different, tonight I want him to hurt as much as I do. "Danny?"
"Yeah, I' m comin'." He said lifting his head up to lock eyes with me, then headed towards the drivers side.
"Did you use condoms?" I asked out of nowhere. I had to know, I was on the pill, and we never once used a condom, we talked about it before we even actually had sex, he told me he'd never not worn a condom, his mother just about scared the shit out of him when he was 12 telling him 'if you don't use a condom you better be prepared to get married and live in the suburbs.' I wasn't going to marry his cheating ass, anyway. I have to admit the look on his face was priceless, this was the last thing he wanted to talk about, so we were going to talk about it.
"Yes." He choked out keeping his eyes peeled on the road. I laid my head back against the headrest and continued to question him.
"Was she better than me? Tighter than me? Did she make you cum harder than me?" I continued to ask, leaning over to whisper in his ear. "Did a single tear roll down your cheek when you came into her for the first time, like that night on the pool table?" I could feel how anger started to rise in his body, and placed a kiss next to his ear.
"Lindsay." He warned me pulling into my building. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
"You wanted to talk Danny, if you want there to be an us, I need to know these details, so the next time you're on top of me at least I know you're thinking of her. When you cum into me, you're wishing it was her." Tomorrow I know I'll hate my self for doing this to him, breaking him into even smaller pieces, but I can't help it, he broke me and I can't help but want to break him, even if there's nothing left to break. I exit the car with one final look at him; his arms crossed over the steering wheel his head resting on his forearm. No longer broken, he was shattered.
I walk towards my building refusing to look back when I hear the car shut off or the door slam shut. I can feel his eyes watching me; I can practically hear his brain thinking of the right words to say. Are there any right words? He catches up to me in the elevator, but doesn't say anything just stands dangerously close behind me, I can feel his breath on my neck. I exit the elevator and head towards my apartment, stopping in front of the door to unlock it. I throw my keys on the table near the door, and head towards my room, knowing he'll follow me because he's afraid. He's afraid or he knows that if something big doesn't happen tonight, that this will be it, forever.
"Montana." He whispers as I remove my shirt to change into my pajamas and head into the bathroom. "I didn't even cum in her, the first time. I wasn't drunk but I was buzzed, but she when she came there was a small smile on her face. That was the first time I'd seen her smile since Ruben died."
"Dan, that doesn't make it better." I tell him walking out to stand in front of him, in only my jeans and bra.
"I know it doesn't, trust me I fuckin' know it doesn't make it better." He said as he looked up at me from his place on the edge of my bed. "But you're acting like I just straight up went out and had sex with another women. It wasn't like that. I swear to you Montana, if I could do it over again, wouldn't of had sex with her." I raised my eyebrows at him, what the fuck? He wouldn't of fucked her but another women? He must of read my mind because he quickly recovered. "NO, I wouldn't of had sex at all, except with you. Cause you were mine."
"Danny, just answer my questions from earlier. " I begged I don't know what was wrong with me but I needed to know. I just couldn't deal with knowing she was better in bed then me, well he did already say he couldn't get his nut.
"Lindsay, you know the answer." He said standing in front of me, so close in fact, that my breasts slightly grazed his chest.
"Say it." I pleaded, tomorrow I would seek out a shirk, because something was defiantly wrong with me, I was allowing Danny back into my heart and I had this obsession with knowing I was his best lay, ever.
"No one has made me cum harder or been tighter than you. You know you're the only one I've ever truly been with, that's why I had to get my pool table re-felted." He whispered leaning his forehead against mine. "And I sure as hell have never cried after being with a woman, ever. Montana and you know all of that. You know why."
"Danny, I don't know if I can trust you right away." I said looking up at him, pressing a kiss to each of his closed eyes.
"It's okay, just knowing that you'll try is enough." He whispered risking a kiss on the lips. Something was most defiantly wrong with me; I broke him now I'm going to heal him. Damn him, damn me for loving him.
"There's something you should know Danny." I said against his lips as he risked another kiss.
"What?" he asked placing a stray hair behind my ear. God I'm in trouble.
"You got me pregnant, the night before Ruben died." I watched as a smile graced his lips and a single tear rolled down his cheek.
