Disclaimer: Bleach and other related entities are owned, (TM) and © by Tite Kubo
A/N So yeah I wanted to do something for my favorite characters birthday… more like write something for Yoruichi's birthday, but you can't have Yoruichi's before Urahara's… but whatever I love all Bleach characters, exceptions being Aizen, and the bounts.
FYI: I wrote this like an three hours before New Year's so yeah it's not all that great, and I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes… but I wanted to do a YoruSoi moment, so you get this… and this is somewhat A/U, since we should assume that Soifon and Yoruichi have been in a long term relationship after the Soul Society Arc.
Now about Soi's gift to Urahara… well the idea came from watching the Adam's Family (1991 version) they had a demonic looking one that latched onto its victims fingers. If I remember correctly Morticia hit some hidden buttons that released the trap, which stumped I think it was Fester or Tully… and as for the gift Soifon gives Yoruichi, well it does exist I just suck with descriptions, but if you want to see it just ask and I'll give you the link to the image.
***
Today was a very special day, one that only came about once every year, today was Urahara Kisuke's birthday, and he was living it up with a party that had nearly all of the Seireitei in attendance. Hell he even somehow managed to get Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai in attendance, which impressed Yoruichi to no end as she dragged her reluctant partner down the stairs and into the party.
Come on Little Bee don't be like this…" Yoruichi whined as she gave Soifon a tug, which caused the shorter woman to stumble into her lover's arms. Yoruichi automatically rapped her arms around her reluctant girlfriend's body.
"See this isn't so bad." She teased Soifon with a peck on the lips as she swayed from side to side; her Little Bee sighed and wrapped her own arms around Yoruichi's neck.
"…Fine you win… but I refuse having to give that waste of space any good wishes." Soi grumbled she was starting to loosen up in Yoruichi's arms. She smiled as Soi rested her head on her shoulder in contentment. She took that moment to take a look around at the party. There were groups of people all over the large space that was used as their base of operations.
Hitsugaya was running away from a drunken Matsumoto, who was running around swinging a bottle of and shouting garbled words. Yoruichi was almost positive she heard Hitsugaya's name pop up several times as well as the words fun… loosen up… drunk… and she was pretty sure she heard the word virgin thrown in there somewhere. She then noticed Momo was being dragged be the drunken woman, it looked like the shorter woman was trying to stop the blond… yeah that wasn't going very well.
She then noticed Byakuya, Komamura, Yamamoto and who she believed was the first division's Lieutenant Chojiro something or other. She could never remember the man. They were sitting at a table farther away from the others sipping tea. Just watching them was putting her to sleep. She quickly looked to a different part of the party where she noticed Kenpachi with his subordinates drinking sake and laughing at poor Hitsugaya as he ran passed them. Ikkaku and Yumichika lay past out and Yachiru stood over them with bright markers in her hand and an innocent, yet somehow sinister, smile on her face. Yoruichi smiled as she turned her head to the right and spotted Unohana with Isane by her side talking quietly amongst themselves with a tea kettle nestled between them, and cups in their hands.
A little farther away from Unohana there was the group that consisted of Shunsui, Ukitake and their officers. It looked like Shunsui was giving poor Nanao a very hard time with his over the top flirting, but Yoruichi could see the faint blush over the stoic woman's cheeks. Ukitake was laughing while his two third seat officers fought each other to see who would get his next refill of sake. It looked like Kiyone was wining this time.
She then spotted the Visards, some of which were on a dance floor set up for the occasion shaking it up, laughing as they created their own moves and tried to outdo the others of their group.
She then spotted Soifon's lazy Lieutenant chugging down sake with Iba, Hisagi, and Kira. Both of which were still moping over their captain's death and or defeat. It looked like Omeada was moping as well, though that could be due to the fact he was sporting a new black eye curtsey of the petite Captain.
Oh and there was Renji, with Ichigo and his friends, being pummeled by Rukia for something he had said? She let out a small chuckle as she watched the display of affection between the two. Her laugh caught Soi's attention. Yoruichi just laughed some more and pointed to the group. Soifon watched as Renji tried to crawl away from Rukia's fury and smirked. That girl could be scary when she wanted to be.
Yoruichi finally spotted the birthday boy arguing with Mayuri about some new invention or dangerous and insane creation. Nemu stood beside her Captain, her usual sad look in place, and she was quietly talking to Ishada who had slipped away from his loud friends. Hachi sat behind Urahara and was currently talking to Tessai.
"Wow it really looks like everyone is here." Yoruichi whispered into Soi's ear, causing the other woman to look up into her lover's beautiful golden eyes.
"Yeah… well if you hadn't dragged me out here then it wouldn't be everyone, but no you just had to bring me." Soi said with a huff, though she was no longer angry with being at the party. Since Urahara's party was also Yoruichi's. Another reason to be annoyed with the man, but it was worth it as long as she was there with the one she loved.
"Anyway let's go say hi to the birthday boy, and give him our gifts." Yoruichi stopped when she felt resistance from Soi. "Hey what's wrong Little Bee?" She asked as she gave the arm attached to her lover another tug hoping to get her moving.
"I told you I refuse to talk to that moron… and I absolutely refuse to give him anything… especially after everything he put us through!" Soi snapped angrily, Yoruichi just rolled her eyes in exasperation.
"Oh come on Soi, I already told you it was my choice to go with him all those years ago. I thought you finally accepted that?" Yoruichi said as she tried to again drag Soi over to Urahara's group.
"Oh I got over that part fine… no what I'm talking about is how he creates a weapon that could not only create hollows with Shinigami powers, but it could also give its user the potential to be a God… I mean hey I lost my arm, and almost all of us nearly lost our lives, because of his insatiable need to make things that could destroy Seireitei!" Soi crossed her arms; the left one had been miraculously restored by Inoue, and huffed.
"Soi-chan… I know he can be a bit difficult at times, but he means well, so please Soifon for me just go over there and wish him a happy birthday. Pleasepleaseplease." Yoruichi used the puppy dog pout. She let her lip quiver a bit, and had her eyes mist up to add to the look, a look that Soifon could never refuse.
"Gah ok… fine… I'll even give the fool a gift… oh have I got the perfect gift for him." Soi let Yoruichi drag her off towards Urahara, a devious smile on her face as she thought about the gift she had for him.
***
"Happy Birthday Kisuke!" Yoruichi sang happily as she gave her best friend a tight hug and a peck on the cheek.
"How does it feel to be another year older… old man?" Yoruichi teased as she backed off from their shared hug.
"I should be asking you the same thing old lady… I mean your birthday is only hours away from my own hahaha… so what did you get me?" Urahara teased right back, as he held out his hands for his gift.
Yoruichi laughed at his antics and lightly slapped him over the head.
"My gift to you is upstairs and in your room… away from young innocent eyes… if you get my drift." She said winking at her friend.
"Ooh you got me those magazines I've been wanting for awhile now didn't you!?" He asked happily. Yoruichi just smiled, and Urahara let out a whoop. He saw Soifon hiding behind his friend, her usual scowl on her face. He pushed passed Yoruichi and held out his hand expectantly.
"… and what did you get me Soi-chan?" Urahara asked as his eyes sparkled in mirth. He loved messing with the short woman. It always made him smile to see how far he could push her.
Instead of replying Soi pulled out a small neatly wrapped gift, black with a gold bow, and shoved into his hand.
"Here… it's a family heirloom so don't break it… and have fun… pft!!!" She couldn't hold it in and laughed. Both Urahara and Yoruichi were surprised. Urahara was surprised that Soi would give him anything with any meaning, and Yoruichi was actually more worried than surprised. Especially since whatever was in the box was making the short woman laugh so hard.
Kisuke shrugged and tore the gift open and stared in shock at what was inside. His face split into a huge grin, which surprised Soi enough to get her to stop laughing, and held up a beautiful double headed dragon Chinese finger trap.
The finger trap was solid gold with a very detailed dragon's head on each end of the trap. The long tube's design looked like both the dragons were intertwined, with rubies outlining them. The eyes on the dragons were blue diamond's that shown in the dim light, and the dragons teeth were also fitted with small diamonds.
"Wow Soi that was really nice of you… are you sure you want to give away something that expensive looking to Kisuke?" Yoruichi asked as she watched her best friend stick his forefingers into the mouths.
"…Oh yes I'm sure." Soi replied with a grin as she watched the man start to tug on the contraption confused as to why nothing he did would get them off.
"I'm going to go get a drink… would you like anything Yoruichi?" Soi said as she turned to walk away.
"No… no I'm good thanks." Yoruichi said as she watched Kisuke pull with all his might against the finger trap, and still he couldn't get away.
"H-how do you… ah… ow! How do you get this thing off!?!" Kisuke yelled in frustration as he looked for anything that would help him remove it from his fingers. There had to be some release buttons or something.
"Yoruichi help! Soi-chan gave me a defective finger trap!" He whined before biting down on the metal of the device which did nothing to help. Yoruichi lightly rapped him over the head to get him to stop chewing on it.
"Here let me see your hands." Yoruichi grabbed Urahara's hands and brought them closer to her face to examine the trap more closely.
"Now how the hell…do… you…get… this… off…" Yoruichi tugged with each sentence, causing poor Urahara to cry out in pain. With each pull on the golden monstrosity the mouth closed a little bit more causing an uncomfortable squeeze around his digits
"Ok that does it where is Soi?!" Yoruichi asked in exasperation, giving the beautiful, yet somewhat dangerous, device another tug.
"I believe I saw Soifon-taicho head towards the exit…" Hachigen said hesitantly from his spot behind Urahara as he pointed to the stairs.
"Right hold tight Kisuke I get her, and then we can figure out how to get the thing off." Yoruichi said as she turned to head for the stairs that lead to the upper level of his shot.
"…right… oh just hurry up it's almost midnight. We need to welcome the New Year, as well as your birthday haha!" He said cheerfully as he raised both his hands over his head to place them behind his head. He wasn't as concerned about the finger trap as Yoruichi was, in fact he was curious as to how the thing worked. He would have to study it once he got it off.
***
Soi sat on the porch in front of Urahara's shop sipping on her sake enjoying the breeze. She knew that giving the trap to Urahara would get her in trouble with Yoruichi, but it was all worth it, especially the look on his face when he realized there was no release mechanism. Maybe she should have stayed down there a bit longer just to see how they would handle the situation, but she wanted to drag it out for as long as possible.
"You know that was really cruel of you." Said a voice, decidedly feminine, and not at all happy with her, Soi sighed and turned her head to her angry girlfriend.
"Eh what can I say… though I won't apologize." Soi took another sip of her drink as she watched Yoruichi from the corner of her eye, as the dark skinned woman came and sat next to her.
"So how long do you plan on having him suffer?" Yoruichi said angrily, though she wasn't actually angry. It was actually kind of funny to see her best friend so stumped over something seemingly so uncomplicated. She took the bottle from Soi and took a swig of the drink letting out a content sigh as the warm liquor made its way down.
"…I was thinking about a month, since Hachigen-san went against his word after the war… I was so looking forward to seeing the idiot in a small 23"x28" box, but no a certain nosy cat had to get in the way." Soi said sarcastically as she took her drink back taking another drink.
"Wow that small huh." Yoruichi said while imagining Kisuke in a cramped space, more like a tiny coffin, for a month. She almost smiled at the thought, but shook it off she had done the right thing by stopping poor Hachi-san from doing something that went against the gentle giant's nature.
"Well is there any way to convince you to get it off today, or maybe in like ten minutes, you know as a birthday present from you to me, please?" Yoruichi asked as she leaned into Soifon's side her head resting on her girlfriend's shoulder. Soi stayed quiet as she thought about the pros and cons of releasing Urahara. She looked down into Yoruichi's eyes, and the choice was made for her.
"…Fine…I remove it… but I'll do it tomorrow… afternoon, and I already got you something else for your birthday." Soi said as she rested her arm over Yoruichi's shoulder with a defeated sigh.
"Ooo, really, and what did you get me?!" Yoruichi asked excitedly raising her head to look at Soi properly, her eyes bright with happiness, and temporarily forgetting her friend's plight.
"Let's just say it's the reason Omeada is sporting a new black eye… you better appreciate it, since I promised the lazy oaf that I wouldn't hurt him for a whole month… the things I do for love." Soi bemoaned as she looked up at the dark sky above, as if pleading with the heavens above. Yoruichi smacked her shoulder playfully. Soi smiled as she brought her head down, and boldly kissed Yoruichi without warning.
***
"Happy Birthday Yoruichi." Soi whispered after their shared kiss, and a few minutes of sitting together under the clear star filled sky. She held out a small purple box, with orange bow, and placed it into Yoruichi's hand. She took the box and held it delicately in front of her. She slowly opened the box and pulled out the dark navy blue ring box. With slow measured movements she lifted the top of the lid and gasped at the ring inside.
"Oh Soi…" Yoruichi said breathlessly as she pulled out the gorgeous two tone, platinum on the outside with golden center, hand engraved flawless princess diamond cut ring paved with several other smaller diamonds all around the ring. She gingerly took the ring into her right hand and examined the oh so flawless design. She slipped it onto her left ring finger, and smiled at the perfect fit. She looked up at Soi, she noticed the light blush covering her cheeks, and leaned in for another kiss.
"It's perfect, I love it" she said as she pulled away slowly and looked into her lover's eyes, "… so should I take this as your way of proposing?" She then lightly teased her Little Bee.
"…Y-yes… I-I mean y-y-you can t-take it an-any way y-you want." Soi squeaked nervously as she looked away from her lover with a heavy blush. Yoruichi cupped Soi's cheek with her left hand, the diamonds gleaming in the dim light, and turned her to face her own smoldering gaze.
"Then I take it as a future promise to spend the rest of our lives together, and this time nothing will get in the way." She brought their lips together for another heartfelt kiss, a shooting star streaking over them on New Year's Day.
"Best birthday…ever!" And that was Yoruichi's last thought as Soifon deepened the kiss, running her fingers through Yoruichi's dark silky hair. While Yoruichi wrapped her arms around Soi's back.
***
Late the afternoon on New Year's Day Soifon stumbled out of her lover's room as quietly as possible, her hair out of its usual braids and disheveled and her cloths rumpled and inside out. Well the shirt was anyway. She tiredly walked down the hall to the room that hid the stairs that lead to the open space below the owner's shop.
Once downstairs she made her way over the slumped bodies of several of last night's party goers. She smiled as she saw Hitsugaya in Matsumoto's arms his head cushioned on her ample bust, with a peaceful smile on his face. Momo lay on her blond friend's other side; her own head resting over Matsumoto's left side. Her arm draped over both her friend's bodied, her hand buried into Hitsugaya's hair. She then noticed the usual drunks in a pile where the eleventh division had been parting that night. She noticed Ikkaku and Yumichika snoring loudly, and both sporting brightly colored marks all over their faces.
She also took note that Yamamoto and the rest of the Captains were gone. They probably left sometime early morning right after the New Year's celebration.
There next to Kukaku who she did not see last night, she probably had gotten in right as the New Year hit, was Urahara. He was in a deep drunken sleep his arms over his head with his hat missing; it was over the Shiba's head. He snorted as he turned to his left and settled back down into a comfortable position.
She stood over him once she made the short trip over the bodies littering the floor. She watched as he let out a burp and the bit of drool slide down his chin.
And that was Yoruichi's best friend… Soi still couldn't understand it, but she none the less bent down over the finger trap and as if reacting to only her touch the device came off.
"happy birthday… fool…" She put the trap next to his head, and walked away. She planned to spend the rest of the day celebrating her lover's birthday… preferably in bed… naked…
"Best New Year's day…ever!"
***
So Yoruichi's gift could have been a stack of dirty magazines/books, or it could have been something science related. I remember my friend saying something like that to her boyfriend, who was an uber geek but she loves him to death… anyway she had bought him something like science weekly… and she said something like what Yoruichi said (as in she didn't want to bore us with his strangeness/geekiness or something like that). We actually thought she got him dirty magazines, but yeah we learned that boy only had eyes for her, and no one else, even if they were hot naked ladies in magazines.
Oh and one last thing, Omeada's black eye came after he crafted the ring, that is his specialty after all making jewelry, he made the mistake of teasing his Captain (of course she broke her deal to not hit him, but that deal started the next day)… you'd think he would learn after all this time.
Ooo last comment I swear, the dimensions for the box describes are height x width, for length I would think three feet… yeah he would be a bit cramped in that lol.
