Goodness. The title sucks. Blahh… if you have any suggestions, I will take them.

Random idea, thought of while bring groceries home. :p

I still, unfortunately, and quite unexpectedly (rolls eyes) do not own Hetalia.


Tomato.

"Loviiiinnnnooo!" Antonio called. Lovino closed his eyes and tried to ignore the Spaniard, but that turned out to be a difficult task because Antonio had come into Lovino's bed and was attempting to hug him.

"Argh! What do you want bastard?" Antonio hugged Lovino tighter, and Lovino snuggled into the embrace.

"Guess what I did, Lovi~" Antonio said.

"What?" Lovino sighed, warily.

"Well~ I invited your brother and Germany for dinner, who invited Prussia, who invited France, who invited England, who is bringing America, who is bringing some guy named Canada!" Antonio said in one quick breath, tensing. Lovino breathed deeply and calmly for a few moments, and Antonio relaxed. That is, until Lovino pulled out of the embrace, jumped out of the bed and screamed, "YOU DID WHAT?!"

Antonio flinched a bit, but continued on bravely. "And we're cooking for them." Lovino turned a very dark shade of red, and Antonio said, "Lovi you look cute like a tomato!"

"Screw you. Cook for your own damn guests, bastard." And Lovino marched out of the room.

Antonio ran to follow and cut him off in the middle of the hallway. He gave the biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes he could muster and said, "Pleeaaassseee, Lovi~" Lovino looked on apathetically, "No." He attempted to push the Spaniard away. But Antonio wasn't having any of that. "But, Lovi! If you don't help cook, you will be letting everyone down! And Feli would be so sad, because he really wants you to cook for him, and he'll start crying…" And Antonio went on and on.

Lovino couldn't help but give into Antonio's pleas. The Spaniard had no idea just how cute he was. But Lovino would never say that to him. "Fine then, bastard. But only because I don't want Feliciano to cry. Got it?"

Antonio smiled, seeing right through Lovino, and ran to hug him. "Oh! Lovi! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Antonio said, planting kisses all over the other's face. Lovino was just about to kiss back when there was a knock on the door. Antonio straightened a bit, and looked in its general direction.

"Ignore it," Lovino said, getting Antonio's attention again. They were just about to kiss, when they heard Prussia say loudly, "Open the door! It is so not awesome to leave us out here!" There was louder knocking. "Ve~ maybe they're busy~" they heard Feliciano say. "Busy, hmmm…. Oh my. You know, I am sure they would want me to- Ah! Arthur, that hurt!" "Well keep your mind out of the Goddamn trash!" Francis and Arthur had started going at it.

Lovino sighed. "Well go get it! I don't want the front door to become a murder scene!" Antonio nodded and dragged Lovino with him to open the door. Feliciano bounded through the door and enveloped Lovino in a tight embrace. "Thank you for inviting us, fratello!" Lovino just grunted unintelligibly, and awkwardly hugged his brother back. He then promptly ignored the rest of the guests and made his way over to the kitchen. Antonio and Feliciano followed and the rest followed Feliciano.

When they were in the kitchen, Antonio and Lovino donned aprons and Antonio asked what everyone wanted. They were met with a chorus of "Pizza!" Lovino sighed and began gathering the ingredients.

"Ah. Antonio go outside and get some tomatoes. We're out in here." Lovino demanded.

Antonio smiled brightly and said, "Okay, Lovi~" before walking happily, which Lovino translated into prancing, out of the kitchen and out of the front.

It was pretty quiet, while Antonio was out picking the tomatoes. He chatted idly with his brother while he mused. "Ve~ Lovino? What's wrong?" Feliciano asked, noticing that Lovino was thinking about something. Lovino shook his head.

"Nothing, Feli. It's just that I could have sworn that there was another tomato left." Prussia and America perked up. "You mean this tomato?" America asked, tossing it to Prussia, who in turn tossed it to Canada, who tossed it to France who tossed it to England, and the tomato ended back with America. Germany knew better than to mess with food around Lovino and Feliciano was actually talking to Lovino, so they weren't participating. Lovino watched as the cycle continued.

"Yes… what are you doing with it, bastards?!" America looked at him blankly, before flashing a very bright grin. "We're playing catch!" And with that he tossed it to Prussia, who said, "Yeah! This makes an awesome ball!" He then started to toss it to France, but Lovino snatched the tomato away and held it close to his chest.

"Idiots! Tomatoes are very fragile. They burst easily and are very soft. Be careful with them!" Lovino huffed. He earned blank stares from the group. "What?" he asked, a bit worriedly.

France spoke first, "You sounded almost… motherly, mon ami." America scoffed loudly, "Yeah! And over a tomato too!" Prussia started laughing uncontrollably, and the other's all snickered. Lovino turned a violent shade of red and started screaming profanities.

Spain walked in, carrying a basket of tomatoes. "What's all the fuss about?" he questioned as he walked in on a very flustered Lovino and a group of other hysterical nations.

"Lovino gave birth to a tomato, Big Brother Spain!" Feliciano said loudly. Spain dropped the basket of tomatoes. Lovino ran to try and save them.

"Lovino! Who's the father?! Please say it was me! Oh my goodness, you didn't cheat on me, did you?!" Spain was wailing. Lovino finished saving the tomatoes and walked over to promptly whack Antonio on the head. "No, you bastard, I did not cheat on you."

Antonio looked confused. "Then why didn't you tell me you were having a baby?" Lovino facepalmed. "I was not having a baby. I can't get pregnant, idiot! And even if I could, I would not be having a tomato!!!" Antonio nodded, before looking confused again. "Are you sure?" Lovino turned an even darker shade, "YES I AM SURE!!" he screamed. "Then what's that?" Antonio asked, pointing behind Lovino.

Lovino turned around and saw the tomato sitting on the counter. There was something written on it. As Lovino read the tomato, he saw that it said:

LOVINO'S BABY. DO NOT EAT OR THROW. It had little baby rattles, smiley faces and hearts drawn all over it. Lovino paled, and turned to face the crowd, furious. Prussia fell to the ground laughing.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" France asked, smirking. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"I think I want it to be a girl. Ve~ Germany! We'll have a niece!" Germany smiled and said "Yeah."

Lovino spluttered. "That Potato Bastard is not going to be the uncle of my child!"

"Ahh, so you are claiming her as yours?" America added.

"NO! IT'S A FREAKING TOMATO!!!"

"Look at the proud mother." England felt compelled to add

Lovino was reduced to a red faced, spluttering pile of bones.

"So do you know what to name her, eh?" Cana- somebody said.

"Ohhh! I like Maria!" Spain added. "Can we name her that? Please, Lovi?"

Lovi took a deep calming breath. "Hell no. We are not naming a tomato."

Oh, no. Antonio was going to give him the hurt puppy eyes.

"Pleeeaassseee?"

Lovino did not look at Antonio as he answered.

"Fine."

"YAY!!! We have a daughter now, Lovino!! I'm a papa!!"

Lovino rolled his eyes. He was surrounded by idiots.


I dunno. I really dont.