To anyone reading this, THIS IS INTENDED TO BE THE WORST I CAN POSSIBLY MAKE IT. Please don't hate me :'(
I just thought it'd be a good idea to write a summary of my experience with at least GuP fanfics. My friends and I spent a good half hour deciding on whether this would be a good idea. Those friends don't actually exist. I have no friends. If nothing else I hope at least someone finds this funny, or ya know; actually reads it. Anyway, I'm rambling now. I hope you enjoy Girls und Parody.
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP* *click* It was a cool morning on the Oarai academy school ship, the birds were dying, seagulls shitting on people, and Xavier Twatmuffin pressing snooze on his obnoxiously loud alarm clock. Even people on the St. Gloriana ship 300 miles away could hear it. Five minutes and 14 seconds later he let out a loud yawn and threw the covers made of solid 24 carat gold off of him; he stood up, letting his many perfect hair curls fall softly to his plump, rosy cheeks. He looked around and thought to himself "Well I guess I'm going to have to be the chosen one today. Guess I'm the son of Zeus or something." He rubbed his eyes lazily, and realised he hadn't had hot sex in a few weeks. Also it was halfway through the day too. Eh, he'd pay off the public morals committee with free rimjobs. He slid into his uniform, ate a nutritious breakfast of delicious souls (he was ginger after all), and begin skipping to Oarai Co-Ed Academy (BECAUSE FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES KEK).
He had a great game he played on the way to school: punch homeless people in the face and see if they notice. They always noticed. Punching the last vagabond in the face, he flew through the gate at the speed of a dying cow. Xavier didn't want to miss his next class: GIANT GANGBANG ORGY. The overly rich kid did a sweet flip into the classroom, concussed Saori Takebe (bitch rejected him), and landed at his desk in a single motion. He'd been practicing. He looked over his shoulder and gave a bashful wave to the class hottie, Hana Isuzu. He had had the biggest crush on her for the past 247 days since Saori broke his heart. And his nose. Hana gave a reluctant wave back, much to the surprise of Xavier. He blushed and quickly turned around, giving a quiet squeal of excitement. Progress!
The bell rang. YES! IT WAS TIME FOR A GANGBANG! He threw his clothes into the corner, revealing his one inch dong. Hana screamed "SCISSOR ME TIMBERS!" As she was already scissoring with Saori. Yukari was taking creepy pictures to sell on the internet for a quick buck. Xavier strutted over to Hana and put his dick in her mouth. It was so small and she was so into the scissoring she didn't even notice the one incher in her mouth, until he came into her mouth and Hana choked on his semen. He would have to get the semen out of her lungs if she was to live, he put his lips to hers and sucked his semen straight into his stomach. "You should join the tankery club," a grateful Hana said "maybe you can suck cum from my lungs again, hmm?"
Xavier hadn't considered it before. Tankery… He didn't know much about tanks, but that Yukari girl did. He knew her parents owned a barber shop. He wondered if they trimmed pubes. He figured it would be best to ask when he got there. It was like an orange jungle. He set out to the Akiyama Barber Shop, whistling Justin Bieber's 'Baby', much to the dismay of those around him.
