Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek, not me.

Author's Note: There was a prompt on the LJ st_xi_kink_meme about a party on the "Enterprise". mizufae posted a picture of Spock with a pancake on his head ... and I couldn't stop thinking about what the possible connection between Spock and pancakes could be. This is what I came up with. Thanks for the inspiration, mizufae!

No explicit sex, but slight kinkiness, so rated M to be sure. Established S/U, hints at possible (pre-slash) K/S, S/Ch.

Bon appetit

5 times Spock shared meals with crew mates. There was always something he found to be illogical...

Uhura: Oysters

It wasn't illogical that he felt sexual stimulation watching his mate eating a plate of oysters: squeezing a slice of lime with her slender brown fingers, then lifting the shell to her lips, swallowing the ingredients, biting on the oyster meat just once, to better savor the taste, and, in some cases, licking the rest of the juice out of the shell with her oh-so-talented rosy tongue. All those were enticing sights.

But it was not logical that the tiny pang of disgust he felt when he realized that Nyota was actually eating live animals aroused him so much that he had to excuse himself and go to restaurant's restroom to relieve himself by means of masturbation.

Scotty: Haggis

As for the Haggis itself, Spock didn't even taste it, as he is basically vegetarian. The neeps and tatties provided adequate nourishment, though.

What still puzzles him was Technician 1st class McKenna in a skirt, - no, a kilt, - which showed his hairy legs and knobbly knees, playing the bagpipes as said dish was served. And that this brought Lieutenant Commander Scott and several other participants of the festivity to the verge of emotional outbursts.

Sometimes, when he isn't able to go to sleep immediately, but sees no need for meditation, Spock ponders which dish in the Galaxy could be increased in nutritional value by a side order of bagpipes.

Until today, he hasn't found an answer to this question.

Chekov: Borscht

Spock actually likes Borscht (the vegetarian kind, of course).

But what causes him worry are the amounts of sour cream, or more precisely, smetana, the extremely calories-heavy Russian version of this food stuff, Chekov uses to add to it.

It is satisfying, if not entirely logical, that this habit doesn't seem to have negative effects on Chekov's health. Nor does it cause an unduly amount of pimples on the young Ensign's porcelain skin.

Pike: Chili

Being native to a desert planet, Spock understands the value of using spices to make otherwise bland food more agreeable to consumption and digestion.

But why the "Red Hot Mojave Special" won First Prize at the Annual Starfleet Academy Staff Cook-off, he will never understand, considering that one spoonful of it made the only half-Vulcan member of the jury unfit for further duty.

Kirk: Pancakes

Jim had said the pancakes in this San Francisco restaurant were "just like my Granny made them". If this was correct, the captain's late grandmother must have been skilled at cooking indeed.

He should have concentrated on the food on his plate, but he couldn't stop watching his captain, first dousing his pancakes with a generous amount of syrup, then licking drops of syrup off his fingers. Was it logical that Spock couldn't avert his gaze from the small drop in the corner of Jim's mouth? Why did he feel relief when Jim became aware of it and removed it with his own tongue, just the moment Spock had decided that he had to tell Jim it was there? Where did the completely illogical urge to lick the captain's fingers clean come from?

He would have to meditate on this.