DISCLAIMER: HUNTER X HUNTER IS NOT MY PROPERTY AND ITS CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE.
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Yue- Japanese name which means "the moon"
Viento- Spanish name which means "the wind"
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CHAPTER ONE
..YUE AND VIENTO..
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Good night to you, Yue.
I know you are looking at me now. I could clearly see the smile in your silver face. Nah. My smile is even wider than yours. I have some important matters to tell you, but promise me first that it will remain only between the two of us. Well, I know you can't tell it to anybody else because you're a celestial body up high in the sky. I am indeed certain that my most precious secret will never be revealed.
Well, Yue, my name is Feitan. No surname. Just Feitan. I don't know where I came from or who brought me into this world. All I remember is a dark room where a man, whose face I cannot clearly see, feeds me with a bottle of warm creamy liquid (maybe it was milk). Probably, he was my father. Maybe not. I don't care anyway. He kept me inside that total blackness for so long. And when he finally brought me out to see the light, he left me in that pile of dirt with nothing on except my little clothes and a blanket. I could never forget his words: "Feitan, you're a year old now. You must thank me for letting you live that long. Now die." Ah. My mnemonic ability must be so keen and sharp to retain that memory of long ago.
I don't know how I managed to survive. I was left with nothing but my instincts which guided my actions for survival. But that man's prophecy almost came true, you know. Hunger swept through me and I nearly starved to death. All my childhood years, I ate all those dumplings I could lay my hands on. Garbage, rotten plants and animals, even sulfur and gunpowder. Luckily, I lived on. I grew up so slowly that I looked even more youthful than those who are actually chronologically younger than I.
I don't fully understand why I was born only to be kept inside that darkness then be thrown like a thrash. Am I made to suffer? Am I destined to be rejected?
Those early years of my life, my sole purpose was to survive. To live. To eat. To grow stronger.
I grew up in that pile of dirt which nourished me. I faced so many obstacles which I gradually eliminated one by one. Somehow, I enjoyed being alive. I survived on my own and I lived alone. Many have attempted to take my life but I took theirs instead. How I smiled with delight whenever I see the deep crimson blood splattered under my feet. How I wanted to laugh with delight whenever I see people plead for mercy, when I hear then shout as every thread of their existence gets snapped by my frail hands.
Yes, I am small. Four feet and eleven inches in height. Much more like a child. A façade of helplessness and innocence. But when I start to take pleasure in ripping their fingernails, that mask of delicate purity breaks away and reveals my inner self.
I don't regret anything though. Nobody regretted when that man imprisoned me in that suffocating darkness either. Nobody heeded my cry when he threw me into that dumpsite. Nobody felt sorry when I groaned with hunger, when I nearly lost my life with thirst, when those bigger humans made fun of me, when they stoned me, when they took away the food I strived to look for the whole day. Nobody listened. Nobody helped. Nobody.
All those years I struggled for my life. When I had fully grown into a man that I am now, nobody challenged me anymore. Ah, no. Many did. My ability was always underestimated for my small stature. That was a big mistake on their part. And they never lived to correct that wrong impression.
Five years ago, I was recruited to be a part of the Spider. Have you heard anything about it, Yue? I suppose you do. I was the third limb of the organization –this alliance of strong nen-users feared and loathed by many. I thought and felt that my life has reached to its fullest when I was chosen to be one with them. At last, some people accepted me as part of their lives without looking at my painful past. I guess they have experiences similar to what I had, or…ah, I don't know. We don't know each other that closely, but we are willing to die for the sake of the group.
Wah. I think I have fully stated my biography to you. Haha. It's not the real thing, you know. We are facing something difficult right now. Our Danchou was taken away from us, forbidden to see us or even use his nen. All instigated by that chain-user. The Kuruta named Kurapika who wanted to seek revenge on us for wiping his entire tribe. Ah, we had been so stupid for letting him survive that massacre.
Enough! My introduction is too long. Well, I'm a bit hesitant telling this to someone else but I know you can be trusted.
It happened two years ago and I was twenty-six at that time. That dark night when I was walking on the streets looking for something to amuse me, I saw this little child running towards me. His eyes locked into mine with much helplessness and I felt him begging for mercy. I swept his fragile body and carried him into my temporary residence –an abandoned apartment secluded from the rest of the world. Nobody dared to occupy that ghastly place except me, of course. I watched him with much eagerness as he clung to me. He wanted pity, he would find none.
I tied him on a big chair. Startled and confused, he screamed so loudly that I pushed some crumpled paper into his mouth to keep him quiet. I started working on his dainty feet. I thought I would like to pull those pretty toenails off, but I didn't. Those toes needed to bleed first. I scratched my fingers into his ankle. What lovely blood. I pressed into that cut. More and more of that red liquid gushed out of his pale ivory skin. I made another wound, this time on his left arm. So small yet so deep. Tears welled faster down his face. Poor one. I gave him a delighted laugh. I took the paper out of his mouth. He looked much better. I thought he would wail once more just like any of my other victims. I was mistaken. He simply looked into my eyes with his tearful ones. There was no sobbing.
I made a gentle cut in his neck. He did not even move a bit. I was surprised by such lack of reaction displayed by this naïve child. I did not mind that surprise either. The blood flowing down from his slender neck looked so inviting. I leaned forward and enclosed that wound with my mouth, my tongue licking that delicious liquid coming from his body. He never resisted when I tore his clothes to pieces. The rope tying him to that chair went untied by my excited fingers.
I don't know where on earth I got the idea to carry him to my bed. Sexual desire is a joke for me. I never believed that my libido would be aroused by a senseless stimulation. I have lived in total celibacy since I was born and I have always planned never to lose my virginity. But all those thoughts evaporated when I entered into that child. He never complained though as I thrusted myself into him time and again. I saw him close his eyes in total surrender. He had no choice after all. I would certainly have him whether he liked it or not. But he wasn't screaming with agony nor gnashing his teeth. And he wasn't unconscious either. I felt him vibrating so harmoniously with me. Nah. I don't care. He gave me the pleasure I wanted so much. I'd have all of it.
I really thought I'd need to bring him to a hospital after having that contact with me, but he was perfectly okay. He opened his eyes and looked into mine. For the very first time in my life as an adult, I was startled. His hands touched me as he laid his head gently on my lap.
"Nii-san," he spoke so softly. "Please don't leave me."
Something in my chest got struck by his words. I was ultimately stabbed inside by a blow of surprise. All my life I lived in constant hatred and bloodlust. I even wanted to seek revenge to those who have made me suffer. I lived to kill, to destroy, to prove my prowess, to satisfy my need for vengeance. I thought the child would die in anguish. But I was wrong. His faith in me never wavered in spite of the harsh reality of what I did to him.
I cradled him into my arms. "I won't, my child," I answered.
His lips curved into a satisfied smile as he hugged me tighter. For all the crimes I've done, it was the very first time that I felt sorry.
"Do you want to sleep now?" I asked.
He nodded. "How about you?" he asked me back.
"I would like to sleep too," I replied.
He smiled at me again. I smiled back at him.
That night, I found myself humming a lullaby in that dark room with a little thing sleeping so peacefully in my arms. I am sure that my comrades would never suspect that I have lost the bodily purity I once possessed. Knowing me, they would never presume that I could fondle this small creature into a dimension of serenity. Nah. So what?
I do regret for breaking my vow of perpetual virginity but I felt so happy for giving it to a deserving one.
Yue, I know that time will come and I have to part ways with this child, but inside me, I feel so elevated. He made me understand the meaning of my existence.
Goodnight,
Feitan
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I look into that abandoned house once more but I see no sign of him. For these past two years, I searched for him, yet all my efforts proved unsuccessful. How I wanted to break down and cry. Whether I admit it or not, one thing is for sure, I'm missing him. I want to lie down beside him once again, feel his embrace and hear his voice sing me another lullaby. I need his touch, his gentle caress. Do you know that I left my home for him? My mother is surely shrieking in hysteria right now. But I just want to see him. For me, that is all that matters most.
I bet you have never known me, Viento. My name is that of an unimportant child of the Zaoldyeck household. My name is Alluka.
Expected to be a fierce assassin since I was born, I was trained to follow my elder siblings' footsteps and to provide a role model for my younger brother.
I just don't understand why I cried that fateful night when my father left me wandering in the dark streets of York New City. I felt my helplessness, my vulnerability eating my very core. That is the moment when I saw that figure moving in the eerie shadows, those golden eyes looking at me. I cannot fully comprehend why my instincts drove me to run towards him. But I was truly overjoyed when he carried me so tenderly. For a nine-year-old that I was at that time, that helping action means a gesture of kindness. My evil blood tells me to beware, but I did otherwise.
I never felt even a slight pang of regret when I lost my innocence with him. That was the very first time I felt that I could also be a source of pleasure and happiness, not of death alone.
Ah, Viento. I feel you blowing onto my face right now. Are you consoling me? These tears are flowing unceasingly down my face. I need him now. I need to touch his warmth once again. I need to see his face. I need him here beside me. For two years I languished, longing for him, to come back. Am I going to spend a year more waiting for his return?
I turn my heel to walk away from that hollow apartment as my fingers go wiping the stream falling from my eyes. He is gone now. I don't know if he would ever go back to this ghastly place.
But where else should I go? I did not even ask his name! What a pity! I start to weep once more.
Ah! What a shame! I? A Zaoldyeck? Crying so badly for a petty failure to see an anonymous person? What unfortunate plight!
Forcing myself not to cry, my tears flow even more rapidly.
I am now eleven years of age. Two years older since I left my home at Kukuruu Mountain. But thatI know that my mother will get hysterical if I am going to tell her the exact details of that sweet encounter. I'm not telling anybody else about it, except you, Viento.
My mind is beginning to come of age now. My experiences have driven me to open my eyes to the violence of reality. I have seen many people, and killed many of them. They made me broaden my knowledge; widen the scope of my intellect. But I know that those golden eyes will always remain etched in my memory, even in my deathbed. He is the only person to touch something inside of me that even my family never did.
Ah, Viento. I need to touch him now. I need to see him. To feel his arms wrap around me. To feel his palms caress my hair. Ah, how I wished to taste his sweetness once more.
My feet walked and walked till I reached the shade of an oak. I sat down resting my head on its strong, woody support. The song of the birds reminds me much of the sweet melody of his voice humming me to sleep.
Heaving a deep sigh, I close my eyes. I need to rest for now. The moment I regain my consciousness, I will continue my search for him. I don't care if it will take me a thousand years. I don't care if I die looking for him. If ever that thing happens, I will feel satisfied that I never surrendered in my noble purpose of finding him.
Ah, Viento. I feel you blowing gently on my skin. Could you please blow him back to me?
I know, I know. That task is impossible. But I do thank you for staying with me. Come and embrace me tight.
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So there is the first chap. I hope you enjoyed it. & I hope you'll gonna read the other chapters to come. & I hope you'll find time to review my piece. TC always. :-)gyo
