Chapter One: Hogwarts? Or Was It Pigfarts?
"ALL RIGHT! THAT IS ENOUGH!" Virginia yelled."DAD! HELP ME HERE, PLEASE!"
America looked over to see Virginia trying to keep Texas and Alabama from ripping each others heads off.
Virginia had short brown hair, light blue eyes (much like America's), and was wearing a blue shirt that said: "Old Dominion State" in bright pink with his state flag on the back.
Texas had shoulder-length, light brown hair with blond tips, half-moon glasses, and a "Keep Calm and Ride On" shirt with a giant star in the background.
Alabama had blond hair, bright green eyes, and was wearing a white wife-beater with a red flannel over it.
Both Texas and Alabama had been arguing over who had better schools before Virginia had stepped in. America could see Alaska, Texas's over-protective shadow, sitting in the corner with an amused face.
"Hahaha!" America laughed. "Just get Alaska to take care of 'em!" Both Texas and Alabama paled at the thought. Alaska had been known throughout the States as one of the strongest and acted so much like Russia at times, it scared America himself.
"Okay, okay, we'll stop.." Alabama muttered.
"Good! I do not want to sick Kyra on you just yet!" Alaska said playfully, petting his faithful husky. Alaska had a silver flop of hair, violet/blue eyes, and often wore a giant brown, eskimo-like coat over himself. He was almost always followed by a silver and white husky with an Alaskan Flag scarf around his neck named Kyra.
America could hear Alabama start to argue with Alaska, and smiled a little. All was right with the world. For now, at least. Some of the other States were upstairs in their rooms, probably doing some random crap. Not that he minded, of course. So long as no one dies, his house isn't damaged, and no one is mortally wounded, America was happy. That was, of course, until Florida came running into the room holding an owl.
"Dad!" The sun-bleached blond yelled. "This owl showed up in North Carolina's room, and it has a letter thingy!" She said, stopping in front of America.
Suddenly, Texas and Alabama were crowding around Florida and America. "A letter thing?" Alabama asked.
"Didn't those things, y'know, go out of style years ago?" Texas added.
America just grinned. "It's from Iggy!"
"You mean that stupid tea-freak?" Virginia asked, scowling.
Alaska turned to Virginia, scowling. "He's not that bad, I'll have you know. But his tea does suck!" Alaska added on, seeing the 10th State's look. Virginia gave a satisfied nod before turning back to their father.
"So, what does England want?" Texas asked, eager for information as always.
"He wants me to send someone to some magic school…" America said in disbelief.
At this, Alaska perked up. "Magick? I'll have you know that I have the highest amount of healing potion makers in the US!"
Turning to their brother, the other States gave Alaska a look that said 'Really?' The State just gave a shrug. "It's true."
Alabama just rolled his eyes. "Yes, but all of of your potion makers use pure herbal stuff. It's impractical to use all that herbal stuff these days."
"It is not!" Alaska protested, glaring at his brother.
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Dudes! Shut up and listen to me!" America yelled, fed up with his children. "Iggy wants me to send someone to his stupid magic school to stop Moldy-warts or whatever-"
"Voldemort," Florida piped up.
"and to protect some kid, Harold Porter or whatever"
"Harry Potter," the Sunshine State informed.
"-and make sure he doesn't get himself into trouble or die. Apparently Iggy's having some trouble at his school, and he needs someone to be there to make sure Harold, or Harry, whichever, doesn't kill himself." America said, pausing. "Apparently the kid has a knack for getting into trouble."
Texas scoffed, "he sounds like DC. He's always running around, asking for trouble or demanding us to recognize him as a State."
Florida smirked, "yeah, and Mama Virginia and Papa Maryland are always having to get him out of trouble with Dad."
At this, Virginia blushed a deep red with a dignified; "I am not his mother!"
"Keep telling yourself that, da?" Alaska laughed.
"Dude," America and Texas said at the same time. "You sound like Russia."
At the sound of the Nation's name, Kyra barked. Alaska easily translated Kyra's bark as "Russia?"
"No, Otets is not here, Kyra." Said dog's owner said sadly. The husky gave a small, sad whine.
Alabama shuddered a bit, "I forgot that you spoke dog."
"Neyt, only husky," Alaska said with a shrug. "Though, I do wish that I spoke German Shepherd-"
Texas's skipping around the room chanting "We're going to Hogwarts! We're going to Hogwarts!" interrupted the chatting States before Alaska could go into a rant about dogs.
"Hey, Dad, when are we gonna go?!" Texas said excitedly.
"Who says you're going?!" Virginia stepped in before their dad could speak. "You, Alabama, California, Florida, South Carolina, North Dakota, and New York always get into trouble wherever you go! So no way in Hell am I going to let you go!"
Texas whipped around to face the other state, as did Alabama and Florida. "Who says we have to get permission from you to go?" Florida challenged.
"Yeah!" Alabama shouted. "This isn't the Civil War, so we don't have to listen to you!"
All the states present winced that the mention of the Civil War, even Alaska, who hadn't even been part of the war. He had heard enough stories and read enough history books to know what happened.
"Dude," Texas whined. "Ya' have to bring that up in every argument we have against Virgy here?" Florida nodded her head in agreement, something that didn't happen often.
Alabama flushed sheepishly. "Sorry, but it's, like, the only thing I can use against him."
Florida smirked. "Ha! That means that you're boring!"
Alabama glared at his sister. "Texas is worse!"
Both turned to look at said state, who put her hands up in defense. "Don't y'all bring me into this. 'Cause I, for one, have many-a awesome things. Like Dr Pepper, for example." Texas smirked, "and, I have the most hospitals. So, next time ya' get hurt, don't come crawling to me for help, 'cause it ain't gonna happen."
Alaska came up behind Texas. "Now, now, Texas, no need to be so cruel, da?"
"Dude," Alabama said, "can ya' stop it with the whole 'da?' thing? It's freakin' creepy!"
Alaska smiled at him, "but that is the point, no? I scare you, you listen to me."
"Guys!" America butted in before Alabama could say something stupid. "I'll let a few of you guys go, but not enough to be suspicious." The country put a hand on his chin, thinking. "Maybe about ten of you? That should be good. I'll get someone to take care of all your paperwork, but I want the-" He stopped and counted the states in the room, "-five of you there, but I need about five more to go. I'll let you know who's gonna go tomorrow, then I'll send ya' to Iggy's place to do your wizard-y things that ya' needa do. Clear?"
America got five "sir yes sir"'s in response, before the five states all walked out of the room to let their father wright back to England.
:)T(:
"So, Tex," Alaska asked whenever he and Texas entered Texas's room. "Who do you think will be going with us to this 'Hogwarts' of England's?"
Alaska's sister sighed. "I have no clue," she fell onto her Wild-West themed bed. "Probably someone with a lot of magic, or has a giant magical community." Texas turned her strikingly bright sky-blue eyes on her violet-eyed companion. "You have a large potion-making community, right?"
Alaska nodded his head, absently stroking Kyra's head. "Da, and you have that giant wizard community- what is it called again?"
"I have lots of wizard communities, but the biggest is in between Houston and Beaumont. It's hidden from 'Muggles', and called Widdlebay." Texas sighed. "I wish there wasn't so much discrimination between Muggles and Wizards."
Alaska nodded his head in agreement. "Da. The world would be a better place."
:)T(:
Hello, people who are reading this odd fanfiction! My name is Mermaidhorse, and I'm going to try to make this the only author's note for SGTH. So, I must say some stuff to prepare you. There will be a lot/most likely a lot of crude/racist jokes that I will make. If you are offended by this easily, let me know (PM or review, I don't care) so I can try to tone it down a bit. This is rated T because of these jokes and minor swearing, as well as Texas, Alabama, and South Dakota and their tendencies to be weird and cruse a lot, and Virginia and Maryland's lovey-dovey moments. :D
Warning! THIS WILL BE A CRACK FIC! It's humour/adventure, so that means I will make this as funny, random, and weird as possible! However, there will be moments with fluff, seriousness, three little Gryffindors snooping around, and the references of other fandoms that is sure to ensue. If you don't get these, just ignore them or Google it. If you have any references you would like for me to make, tell me and I can most likely make one happen. I'm willing to bend the plot a bit for any kind of random crack. :D
Also, I have no set timetable. When I want to update, I will update. If I really don't feel like it, I won't update. I'm sorry if you don't like this, but last time I tried to update on a set time (my Roth High fic) I ended up never updating after chapter 16, I think. I can't really remember. If you did read my Roth High fic and are waiting for an update, I'm sorry to say but I'm most likely never going to update it. I might re-write it, but most likely not. I'm sorry :(
If you also have any weird or random facts for any state, any state at all, be free to tell me! I'll also take Mexico's or Canada's state/territory/province things and their random facts! Here's basically what one would be: "Hey! Random fact about Alaska! Alaska has a lake that's almost the size of Connecticut!" Add that into a review or PM, and I'll see if I can add it into the story. Thank you! :D
I AM IN NEED OF A BETA READER! If you wish to be the BETA reader for SGTH, PM me and I'll look into it. I'll make an update in the future chapters if I already have a BETA, and don't need another, but I'm willing to have up to 3 BETAS. After 3, I'm not going to ask for anymore.
I must also say, only the plot is mine. Hetalia, Harry Potter, any random songs the States sing, is not mine. This is a Disclaimer for all the chapters since I'm too lazy to actually add Disclaimers to every single chapter. -3-
Thank you so much for reading SGTH and this hella long AN! :D I'm eagerly waiting for any reviews that may come! :D
~Mermaidhorse =^-^=
