A/N: Soooo, yes, this is my first Loveless fanfic- originally I hadn't intended to do fiction for any fandoms other than Ace Attorney, but then I became utterly hooked on the manga while at a loose end in my own original fiction, and I always figure fanfics are a great way to keep your writing going while you're figuring out what needs to be done to your own stuff ^^

I was totally intrigued by the idea of the "other Ritsuka" his mother always mentions and that prompted the idea for this fic- how would the characters react if this Ritsuka were to come back? What would happen to the current Ritsuka? How would the choice be made as to which should stay and which should leave? If that sounds like something which would appeal to you (not to mention the promise of Ritsuka x Soubi), please stick around and enjoy :3 I'll be switching between Soubi and Ritsuka's POV but it should be pretty easy to tell which is narrating =)


Chapter 1- Cycle

It's a cycle. A law, a force, a power unto its own and it doesn't stop revolving in the same broken circle. I should be running, I know that- I should have seen the first danger signs and sprinted for the door, after all it isn't as though I don't know them off by heart. But I don't. I stay, I freeze, a fox in the headlights, as the world becomes shatterings and the clang of cutlery, upturned tables, sharp edges that come from nowhere and can't be fended off in time.

There are only three colours of light, did you know that? Those three, red, green and blue make up everything, every colour- until I found this out, I didn't know that the colour white was just as much of a lie as anything else. No matter though; there is no white in this world, in this cramped universe of kitchen, there is only red and the absence of red. Skin splits. Something snaps- I think it might be my finger- the smallest firework ever heard and it's over as suddenly as it began. She waits for any sign of the "real Ritsuka" and when none is forthcoming, leaves, leaves me on the kitchen floor with sparks behind my eyes, wondering why I still let it happen every time.

I'm not really sure how the transition from floor to street gets made, all I know is that I'm running, all I know is anywhere but home is the best place. Night is beautiful, even in the city- moonlight bisecting the flats and tree trunks into weird angles, the harsh sodium glare of the streetlights, the river so dark you could fall into it easily and I wonder for a moment whether I should. After all, there have been more terrible things happening at nighttime.

There's blood, yes, blood and too much pain to be held beneath the skin. There's submission, defeat and the hideous injustice that I wasn't told. He says it doesn't hurt. Liar. Idiot. Soubi...

I suddenly know where I am going.


I know where he lives, of course I do- though it's not as if I've had much cause to use this, turning up at people's windowframes in the middle of the night isn't really my style, unlike some. I make my way with annoying difficulty up the twisted staircase that sticks out from the side of the building and knock twice at the door.

Please don't let it be Kio...

I am in no such luck. Kio appears at the door, ridiculously bouncy as always and frowns, before adopting a wicked smile and beckoning me in.

"How come you're here in the middle of the night, Ricchan? I mean I always knew Sou-chan totally had a Lolita complex but I didn't think you'd go along with it, you shout if something happens, okay? I'll call the cops faster than you can say "pickled octopus"! Oh, but..." He pauses for a moment.

"You probably wouldn't want me to do that, if you came all the way here specially... No! No kids are going to be molested by Sou-chan on my watch!"

I manage a brief smile. "That isn't what I'm here for. I want to see Soubi." I leave unspoken the phrase that's running through my head- Soubi isn't interested in my ears now, at least that's what he says.

A strange thing happens to his reply, it warps at the corners and I can't hear it properly. Everything's suddenly heavy, too heavy for my legs and I'm face-to-face with the carpet before I know it. I'd never tell Soubi but I actually really like his apartment- the carpet that's the colour of oatmeal and pleasantly bobbly, the paint fumes, the peace...

I think I see Kio's face looming above me, he's trying to tell me something, but darkness leaks in before I can answer and I'm gone, floating in a place where no-one can reach me, not even myself.


A/N: Well, that's Chapter One over with, everyone! If you liked it, please review, if you hated it, please review too- I like feedback on how I can improve my writing 3 And rest assured, people, I have not killed off Ritsuka XD What would I write about for the rest of the story if I had?