Camp Griffin's Halloween special

As always, the same old, same old. I only own the characters, I create. Everybody else & everything belong to their owners.

It was a crisp cool fall day at Camp Griffin. Leaves was falling off the trees, and the wind blew a bit. The scene quickly cuts to some campers, playing dodgeball. One of the campers threw a dodgeball at a unknown male camper's crotch. "Oww! MY BALLS! MY BALLS!!" he cried as the other campers, Nelson Muntz, & the audience laughed at his pain. The scene quickly cuts to the lake. Peter Griffin, Brian, Cleveland, & some of the other campers, were fishing and doing other water activities. "Ah! There's nothin' like fishin' on a cool fall day!" Peter exclaimed as he threw his line back in the water. "Yep! You can say that again!" Brian said, putting a worm on his line. Peter then turned his attention to Cleveland. "So, are you gonna have some of the campers, help you prepare the fish, just like the last time?" he asked. "I wasn't plannin' on it, Peter." Cleveland said as he took out his line from the water. "Come on!" Peter whined. "The last time, you'd had campers help you prepare fish, it turned out to be very good!" Cleveland thought about it, and it took several minutes. "Okay. Okay! I'll have the same four campers, to help me." Cleveland muttered. "SWEET!" Peter said. Then Cleveland turned to the campers, that was on the boat with them. The campers were; Lazlo, Patsy, & her two cousins; Annette 'Penny' Smiles & Mercedes 'Benz' Smiles. "Ya'll don't mind, if you help me prepare tha fish again, do ya?" he asked. "What is he talkin' 'bout, 'Nette?" Mercedes asked Penny. "Well, Benz." Penny said as she put her line in the water. "We'd help prepare some fish, with C Brown last year." she explained. "Is there gonna be a flashback?" Mercedes asked. "Yeah." said Penny.

(Flashback)
Penny, with Patsy & Lazlo, where they was in the kitchen cutting & preparing the fish. This was around the time, Penny scared off Edward.

Penny:(Cutting the fish angrily) Dat goddamn beaver-duck lookin' n(bleep)a! How dare he!
Patsy:(also cutting fish angrliy)Yeah! Cheeky Brooklin c(bleep)t, he is!
Lazlo: Damn! I've never saw ya'll so pissed before!
Patsy:(turns to Lazlo) I'm sorry dear, that you have to see us that way, but that word, just pisses us off!
Penny:(cuts ups some more fish) Yeah!

Then her Gordon Ramsay-like expertise jump starts, sorta speak.

Penny:(fake british accent) Dat bloody, fuckin', doll playin' wanka! Motherfuckin' punk-ass preverted douche'!

Everybody noticed this.

Cleveland: Whoa! What language! You're cussin' more than I do at my deli's annual 'Ridculious day!
Patsy: I guess, that's the 'Gordon Ramsay expertise' Penny was talkin' about!
Lazlo: Yeah, that's it!
Penny:(still in british accent) Fuckin' bloody-ass republican! Stupid ass, cheeky bastard, New York c(bleep)t!
Lazlo: Uh, Patsy. How do we make her stop talkin' like that?
Patsy:(takes out a cold can of 'Squirt' from out of nowhere) By givin' her some of her favorite soda, 'Squirt'!

She gives Penny the soda.

Patsy: Hey Penny. Are you thirsty?
Penny:(still in british accent) I say, I bloody am, Patsy old bean!
Patsy: Well, here you go!

Penny opens the soda, and gulps it down instantly. Then she let out a Barney Gumble type burp.

Penny:(back in her normal voice) Ahh! Now, dat's refreshin'!

Then she looks at Lazlo, Patsy, & Cleveland.

Penny: Did I go into a Gordon Ramsay-like type rant?
Lazlo: Yep!
Patsy: Yeah!
Cleveland: Dat was pretty cool, Penny! Dat Gordon Ramsay impression, was dead on perfect!
Penny:(blushing a bit) I-I-I guess, I'd learned too much from Ramsay!

Patsy: I guess so! It's a good thing, I gave you that 'Squirt'!
Penny: What?
Lazlo: Patsy gave you a can of 'Squirt'. Why, you don't like 'Squirt'?

Penny picks up the 'Squirt' can.

Penny:(looks at the can dreamily) Who loves tha citrus taste of 'Squirt'? A-A-Annette loves 'Squirt'! Is it ture? Mmhmm! I do! I do! I do! I do-oo!
Patsy: Oh god! Do you have to do that every time, you drink that soda?
Penny: Yeah!
Lazlo: Ha! Ha! You sound like Kel Mitchell, when you do that, Penny!
Penny: I do, don't I?

Everyone nodded. Penny looked slowly into the camera.

Penny: I hope, Kel Mitchell doesn't mind! Hee! Hee!
(End Flashback)

"Ha! Ha! Dat ole 'Squirt' can routine." Mercedes laughed. "Dat never gets old!" "Yeah. I really enjoy doin' dat, everytime, I'm 'bout to drink some 'Squirt'!" Penny laughed. Then she notices Mercedes' line pulling. "Benz! I think you got a bite!" Penny pointed out. Mercedes turned to see, that Penny was right. "Oh shit!" she exclaimed as she grabbed her line. "Come on, you cheeky c(bleep)t!" She finally pulled the fish out of the water. It was a big one! "Damn Benz! Dat's one hell of a fish!" Penny awed. Peter looked at Mercedes' fish. "That fish is bigger, than the one in my hand." He holds up a puny fish. "Very good job, Ms. Benz." "Hell, that five times bigger than any of my fish." Brian said. "And tad bigger than mine's." Lazlo said. "And a bit bigger than mine's." Patsy said. "Ya'll still didn't answer my question." Cleveland interrupted. "Are ya'll gonna help me prepare tha fish?" "Sho, why not?" Mercedes said. "I know, how to prepare fish." "It's not like we have anything else to do." Lazlo said to Patsy & Penny. "I suppose you're right, dear." Patsy said. "I don't know." Penny muttered. "Did I mentioned, dat you get payed afterwards?" Cleveland asked. "NO, YOU DIDN'T!!" Penny exclaimed. "Okay. I join ya'll."

While all this fun was happening, up on the northeast side of Prickly Pines. At a bank, there was a robbery going down. "ALL RIGHT! THIS IS A ROBBERY!! EVERYBODY GET ON THA FUCKIN' GROUND!!" the robber shouted. "OH SNAP! IT'S A BANK ROBBERY!!" screamed someone. "Duh, you've figure that one all by yourself?" said the bank teller to the stupid idiot. "SHUT UP!!" screamed the robber. "I TOLD YO' ASS, TO GIT ON THA FUCKIN' FLOOR!!" NOW!!" Then the robber shot his gun into the air. Everyone got onto the floor. Then the robber went to the bank teller. "Give me all yo' money or ELSE!!" he shouted as he shoved a gun into the teller's face. "Alright! Alright! I know the procedure. I do work at a bank, you know!" the bank teller said as he gave the robber the bag of cash. The robber smiled, then he turned to the hostages. "NOW, DON'T MOVE A FUCKIN' STEP!! COUNT TO A MILLION!!" he barked. Everybody just looked at him. "DO IT!!" the robber shouted as he shot his gun into the air again. Everybody started counting franticly. "Perfect." the robber said and lefted. The bank teller stood up. "Oh, hell nawl! He ain't gonna get away, with my money!" then the teller pressed the alarm button. The robber was outside, when he heard the alarm bell ringing. "Oh shit! Dat fuckin' teller pressed tha alarm! Now tha police's after my ass!" he exclaimed. "I must go to my hangout, until tha heat is off!" Then he jumped into his car, and went towards his hangout.

"That's enough fishin' for the day." Peter said as he pulled a fish off of his fishing pole. "Yeah." Brian said. "Besides, it's time for my, uh, yoga class! Yeah!" Everybody looked at him. "What? I take a yoga class. Is that a crime?" "No, that's not a crime." Patsy started. "But, I've never knew a guy, who actually does yoga." "Well, you learn something new everyday, Patsy!" Brian said as he started the boat. "I think, he's doin' somethin' else, beside dat gay-assed yoga, Benz." Penny whispered to Mercedes. "Yeah. I think, he's actually drinkin'." Mercedes said. Soon, they were off the boat. "Okay, ya'll. Meet me in tha kitchen, and we'll start preparin' tha fish." Cleveland said and lefted. "I sure hope, he's not gonna invite Edward again." Patsy sniffed. "Yeah. I don't feel like throwin' my knife at a bastard, today!" Penny sniffed. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What about this throwin' tha knife, 'Nette?" Mercedes asked. "Well Benz. As you should know, dat Edward bastard, called me & P a couple of bitches. So, I threw my knife at his ass!" Penny sniffed. "So, did you get him?" asked Mercedes. "No. I'd just threw it, so I can scare him, and I did!" Penny laughed. Just then, the aformentioned platypus with Stewie walked by. They were carrying some bags & boxes. Penny noticed them. "Isn't dat right, G!" she said as she slapped Edward on the back, making him drop his boxes. He was cross, of course. "What the hell's..." he stopped in mid-sentence to see Penny. "Oh! H-Hey there, M-Ms. Penny!" Edward said as he started sweating. "I-I-I didn't noticed you there! S-So, what did you say?" "I was just tellin' Benz, 'bout tha time, we was cuttin' fish, and you called me & Patsy bitches, & I threw my knife at you." Penny explained. "Oh yeah! Yeah!" Edward said nervously. Just then, Stewie, still with boxes in his hands, came up to him. "I say, platypus. What the bloody hell are you..." Then he noticed Penny & Mercedes. "Oh! Hey Hip hop girl & Fancy car girl! How are you?" Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Cheeky little c(bleep)t! What's in tha boxes, kid?" "This? These are halloween decorations. Platypus & I are hangin' them up with Lois, Meg, & Quagmire." Stewie explained. "Quagmire's gonna be with Lois & Meg?" Lazlo asked. Stewie nodded. "That's not gonna end well." Lazlo laughed. "We've got to get goin', you cheeky orange bastard!" Edward sniffed. "And, we've got fish to cut up!" Lazlo said happily. Then he sniffed crossly. "Silly Bronx bastard!" They all leave to their destinations.

At Peter's office, Peter just came in. "Ahh! Time to rest, with a beer!" he said as he threw his tackle box on his desk. Then he went to the refridgerator. He opened it. There was no beer. "What? No beer?! That Damn Lois!" Peter sniffed as he grabbed a soda. "Looks like, I have to drink a soda, instead!" Then he went back to his desk. "Well, might as well, start on my 'scoutmaster duties'!" Peter exclaimed as he turned on the tv. The news was on. They was at the bank, were the robbery from earlier in the chapter, took place. "Looks like there was a hubbub at the bank." Peter said as he turned up the tv.

(Cutaway to tv)
Diane: Now, we go to our Asian Correspondent Tricia Takanawa...

Someone then hands her a piece of paper.

Diane: No, wait! Scratch that! Now, we got to our new Correspondent, Debra Dainel, at the scene of the crime. Debra?

It cutsaway, to a beautiful medium-toned black woman. She had shoulder length dark hair. She was wearing a red suit, black pants' & black heels. She was reporting about the robbery.

Debra: Diane, there was just a robbery here at the northeast side bank. There was shots fired, but luckily no one was hurt. Unfortunately, the robber escaped. The police told me, that the bank robber, is armed & dangerous, and the public should be on the lookout for suspcious persons. There's an award out for the robber's arrest. Now back to you, Diane.

It cuts back to the News station.

Diane: I'll keep an eye out for him, Debra. Now this.
(End cutaway)

"Oh shit! A bank robber's on the loose!" Peter exclaimed. "I'd better warn Joe!" Then he gets on his cell phone. Meanwhile, Joe was at the weight room, lifting weights, when he got the call. "Hello?" Joe said as he answered his phone. "Yeah. Did you see, the new episode of 'The George Forman show' last night?" Peter asked on the other end. "No. I don't really care about, reality shows, Peter." Joe said. "Whhhaaattt?! I can't believe, that you don't like reality shows?" Peter said. "They're entertainin'!" "I can't believe this shit!" Joe sniffed. "Reality shows are savin' this country's television networks!" Peter ranted. "If it weren't for reality shows, we'd all be stuck with news, god awful sitcoms, sports, and the very out-of-date cartoons/animated programs!!" "Uh, Peter. You do know, this is a cartoon/animated program?" Joe asked. "Oh damn! I-I-I forgot about that! Hee!Hee!" Peter said nervously. "Well, anyway. Keep guard on the campgrounds, 'cause, there was a bank robbery, & they haven't caught the bastard, that did it. So, if you see any strange persons that doesn't belong here, throw their ass out!" "Okay Peter." Joe replied. Then he hung up his phone. Then he took out his club.

Meanwhile, the bank robber was at his hangout, which was up the river from the camp. "Those fuckin' po-pos, will never look towards this area!" he laughed. "They never do!! Me an' my hoods will hide out here, an' when tha heat is off, we're git tha hell away from here!!" He opened the door, well more like kicked the door in. Inside, was a lot of thugs. They were playing pool, dice, & basketball. Most of them was watching tv. And some of them was playing poker. One of them noticed him. "Yo! 'Big man's back, wit tha green, y'all!" They all noticed 'Big Man'. "I see, dat you did it, witout those, fuckin' po-po's arrestin' yo' ass!" said as black female gang member. "Yeah! Now shut tha fuck up!" Big Man sniffed as he sat in his big leather massage chair. "Now, go in there, and git some food, beeoutch!" "Aight! Aight! I'll git yo' ass some food!!" the black female gang member sniffed. "Fuckin' tiny dicked n(bleep)a!" "So, wat are we gonna do now?" one of the gang members asked Big Man. "We'd gonna chill here, 'till everyone fo'get tha robbery!" Big Man said. "When's dat gonna be?" the member asked. "How tha hell, should I know!!" Big Man sniffed. "Damn! Ya'll as clueless, as Enimem was, at tha BET awards!!"

(Flashback)
Enimem was at the BET awards.

Enimem: Yo! I'm Enimem, and I's like to rap!! I come from Mo-town .
Man in audience: Boo! You suck!

Enimem:( in nerdy voice) I know.
(End Flashback)

Back at camp, Lazlo, Patsy, Penny, & Mercedes was in the kitchen, preparing the fish. "How 'bout we have a little music?" Patsy asked. "I don't care." Lazlo said. "Dat's fine with me." Mercedes added. "Just don't put on no fuckin' country station, P! Dat'll be a wise thing!" Penny sniffed as she cut up some fish. So Patsy turned on the radio. "Yeah! Yo, ya'll! D to tha Wayne here! Suck-free countdown, dat's what you rockin' to! And it's tha afternoon, ya'll! Before we start tha show, we've gotta git our bill payed. So, we're goin' to commercial!" the DJ on the radio said. "Oh damn!" Patsy sniffed. "Fuckin' radio commercials! They're worster than those on tv!" Penny sniffed. Just then there was a special announcement on the radio. "This is Criminal Killers. Today, there was a robbery at the east side bank! Tha fuckin' dude escaped! So, the pol-ice needs yo' help! If you see a huge black man wit a gun, and bling; call tha cops! There is a 8.9 million dollar reward, if this n(bleep)a's caught! Now, back to tha show!!" "Oh snap! Did you hear dat shit?" Mercedes asked. "Yeah. Some asshole robbed the bank." Lazlo said. "Yeah. Plus, there's a reward for his capture!" Patsy exclaimed. "Mmm! Just think, of what you can buy with all dat green!" Penny exclaimed as she cut up some more fish. Then they all started dreaming. Mercedes dreamed, that she brought the city of Chicago. Penny dreamed, that she owned the NBA, BET, & hundreds of SUVs. Lazlo dreamed, that he & Patsy lived in a big manison, with maids, butlers, cars, & lots of kids. Patsy dreamed the same thing as Lazlo, except with an asskisser. "Oh yes. Bow down to me, asskisser!" Patsy said. Everyone looked at her. "What?" she asked. "I think, you was dreamin' out loud again, Patsy." Lazlo said. "Oh!" Patsy muttered as she blushed a bit. "More fish cuttin' and less day dreamin'!" Cleveland ordered. Soon, the fish cutting was done. "Ah. Now dat's done!" Cleveland said. "Thank you." "So, what do ya'll wanna do now?" Mercedes asked. "I'm gonna play pool." Penny said. "Lazlo & I are gonna watch 'Jerry Springer'." Patsy said. "Yeah. Today. It's gonna be about some slut sleepin' with eleven midgets!" Lazlo added. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Did you say a slut sleepin' with eleven midgets?" Mercedes asked. Lazlo & Patsy nodded. "I think, I'll watch dat with ya'll!" she exclaimed. "That's fine with us, Mercedes." Patsy said.

Penny was at the poolroom, and unfortuantely so was Edward & Stewie. Penny was pratcing her shots, when they came over to her. "Hey! Hip hop girl!" Stewie said. "Hello, Ms. Penny!" Edward greeted. "Oh god! What do they want?" Penny thought to herself. Then she turned to them. "What do ya'll want?" "We're just hangin' up Halloween decorations, Hip hop girl." Stewie said as he hung up a decoration. "Y-Yeah!" Edward stuttered as he looked at Penny. She was about to make a shot, and was leaning on the top. She noticed this. "What are you starin' at?!" Penny asked, pissed at the situation. "W-W-Well, I was..." Edward stuttered. Penny sat the cue stick down, and she went towards him. "I'm startin' to think, dat yo' in love wit me." "What? I-I-I'm not in love with you, M-M-Ms. Penny." Edward stuttered as he started sweating. "You don't need to fool me, G." Penny laughed as she was an inch away from Edward's face. "I already know, dat yo' in love wit me, Eddie. There's no need to hide it." she said in a teasing sexy voice. "O-O-Oh shit!" Edward squeaked. Stewie noticed all this. "I say, damn! Hip hop girl's flirting with that platypus! Lucky bastard!" Then Penny noticed him. "And, I've noticed dat yo' doin' tha same shit, kid!" she said in the same sexy teasing voice. "Oh snap!" Stewie exclaimed. Then Penny picked up the Halloween streamers, and she tied Stewie & Edward with them. "Ha! Ha! Ha! I just love fuckin' around wit you n(bleep)as!" Penny laughed. "I'm off!" She leaves. "Damn! I didn't expect her to do this!" Edward grunted. "This is very arousing!" Stewie exclaimed. Edward looks at him. "Kid, you got problems." he sniffed. "Yes, I know." Stewie muttered. "I hope she doesn't do this at the Halloween party. In front of everybody." Edward groaned as he tried to get himself loose. Penny suddenly appears. "Did you say; 'party'?" "Y-Yeah, Ms. Penny. That's why we're hangin' up these decorations." Edward explained as he still struggled to get himself loose. "Who's idea was it?" Penny asked. "It was the fat man's idea, hip hop girl!" Stewie said as he too was struggling to get loose. "Is there's gonna be food & all dat shit there?" Penny asked. "Yes!" Edward & Stewie said unision. "Aight, I'm in!" Penny said. "Okay. Lookin' forward to seein' you there!" Edward exclaimed as he smiled at Penny. Penny leaves again. Stewie looks down to see, that he & Edward was still tied up. "Oh bloody hell. I'd should of told her, to untie us!" "Yeah. I have to go pee." Edward said.

Lazlo, Mercedes, & Patsy was watching tv. Of course, they were watching, 'Jerry Springer'. They was eating snacks while watching too. Out of the three of them, Mercedes was eating the most. "Oh fuck! You're scarfin' those snacks down, Mercedes!" Lazlo said. "I know dat, G!" Mercedes burped. "You're eatin' a lot more than tubbyguts did, on the fourth of July." Patsy said.

(Flashback)
It was the fourth of July. Everybody was grilling & the sort. Peter just got done cooking his food.

Peter: Ahh! I can't wait to eat all of this!!

He sets his platter down, right next to Mercedes, Penny, & Patsy. He ties a napkin around his fat neck. The three females noticed this.

Patsy: I don't like the looks of this!
Mercedes: I wonder, what fat boy's gonna do?
Penny: He's probably gonna do somethin' stupid! Like always.
Patsy: Do you wanna make a bet?
Penny: A bet for what?
Patsy: A bet to see, if he's eats EVERYthing!
Mercedes: I'm in!
Penny: Me too!

They all shake hands. Then Patsy turned to Peter.

Patsy: Uh, 'Fat bastard'?
Peter:(not noticing or caring what Patsy called him) Yes, Ms. Smiles?
Patsy: My cousins & I just got done having a discussion, and we betted, that you can't eat all that food!
Peter: Get ready to be proved wrong!!

He picks up his giant platter, and swallowed all of the food. Then he eats the three females' plates. Then he turned to see everybody else's grills, and he eats all that too. Soon, he was fatter than usual. He let out a giant burp.

Peter:(loud burp, and turns to Mercedes, Penny, & Patsy) I guess, you three owe me some money!
Mercedes: Dammit!
Penny: Great idea, Patsy!
Patsy: This was a dumb...

Then she noticed something hanging from Peter's mouth.

Patsy: You got something hangin' from your mouth.
Peter: Where?
Patsy:(points to her own mouth to help Peter understand where the object was) Right here.
Peter:(puts his hand on his nose) Here?
Patsy:(points to her mouth) No, here.
Peter:(puts his hand on his crotch) Here?
Patsy: Yuck! Hell no!

Then Quagmire threw a lit match on the object that was hanging from Peter's mouth, and it lit it up. It was a fuse. The dumb overweight man also ate the fireworks. Anyway, the fuse was lit, still Peter didn't pull it out of his mouth.

Peter: Don't just sit there! Gimme your money, Ms. Smiles, Ms. Penny, & Ms. Mercedes!

But before they can hand him the money, the fireworks & rockets in Peter started going off. All of the fireworks & rockets had Peter way up in the air. Soon thereafter, there was an explosion. Everyone, well the dumb ones anyway, ooohed & ahhed, while the audience laughed. Patsy smiled an evil grin.

Patsy:(evil grin) Hee! Hee! Stupid fat bastard!
Mercedes: How'd you know, dat he'll eat EVERYthing?
Penny: Just look at him, Benz. He's an disposal!
Patsy: Shut up, & gimme my money!!

Mercedes & Penny cussed under their breaths, as they gave Patsy the money, and the audience laughed.

Patsy:(snatches the cash from Mercedes & Penny) Ha! Don't never fuck with me!! Or you'll find yourselves with empty pockets!
audience:(laughs)
(End flashback)

Just then Penny comes into the scene. "Hey, do ya'll know, what's happenin' around here?" she asked. "Uh, no." Patsy said. "Is it another 'Parent's day'?" Lazlo asked. Everybody looked at him. "You've got to be kiddin'!" Mercedes sniffed. "What?" Lazlo asked. "Never mind!" Mercedes groaned, then she recovered. "Is it my turn to talk?" Penny nodded. "Aight then. Is it tha day, where we whoop tha background nobodys' asses?" "No. Tha incredible blob's throwin' a halloween party. There's gonna food, music, & all dat shit!" Penny explained. "Is there gonna be candy?" Lazlo asked. Everybody looked at him, again. "What?!" Lazlo asked again. "Probably." Penny said. "When is it?" Patsy & Mercedes asked in unision. "I think, sometime this week." Penny said. "That's good!" Patsy said as she laid on her bed. Just then Raj & Clam comes into the scene now. "Lazlo. What are you doin'?" the Indian elephant asked. "Why is it any business of yours?" Lazlo asked pissed from the situation. "I don't know." Raj admitted. "Cheeky bastard!" Clam said. "I knew you say somethin' stupid!" Everybody looked at Clam. "What? Do I have somethin' in my nose?" Clam asked. "No. It's just, that you talk that much." Patsy said. "Yeah, C. What's gotten into you?" Penny asked. "I've been drinkin' this stuff!" Clam said as he took out a blue bottle. It had 'haterade' on it. "You've been drinkin' dat 'haterade', again. Haven't ya, C?" Mercedes asked. "Yep!" Clam said. Raj took the bottle from him. "No more of that shit for you, mister!" he said in his very annoying accent. "Damn you!" Clam sniffed. "That's it! I'm gonna go play baseball!!" "Whatever." Raj sniffed as he sat on his bed. Mercedes turned to Patsy. "Hey P! How 'bout we go outside & play dogeball?" "Yeah, let's! It's gettin' boring in here!" Patsy said. "Dodgeball sounds like a good idea!" Lazlo exclaimed. "Yeah, dat'll be a wise thing!" Penny added. So they all leave, leaving Raj by himself. "Finally! Now I can have time to myself!" he exclaimed as he took out a adult magazine.