I do not own Ranma or Buffy. This is not going up as a fic yet, which is why I'm posting it in a story ideas section. This is reserved for any plot bunnies that hop around in my head. I already have three stories that I am working on. Once I finish one of them, I will get back to this . . . maybe.

For the record, it's been awhile since I last saw Buffy, so if Faith and/or Spike are a bit out of it, I apologize.

This is meant to be slightly humorous, but will be dark in several places, especially when it comes to how Ranma first joined up with the Slayer Army.

Warning: Ranma WILL seem a bit OC here; who wouldn't? She had just spent over a year getting over being trapped as a girl and dealing with the shit end of the 'Slayer Dreams' stick. She has been training girls to fight demons, and been forced to kill both demons and humans allied with said demons to protect the world. She has also kept her lousy luck, which means that there is always something trying to kill her, screw her, or do both to her. With a life like that, who wouldn't change?


Summary: Ranma vanishes from Nerima, leaving only a note. He returns over a year later, having faced demons, vampires, and her own vivid nightmares, as a Slayer! Most likely Ranma/Faith, though considering their relationship issues, it's probably more of an on/off kind of deal.


The sun was setting slowly in Japan, as a blue-haired young girl walked out of a Sushi Bar. Tendo Akane couldn't help but sigh. Things had been so simple only a year ago. Back then, all she had to deal with was school, perverted jerks, insane martial artists and . . . HIM. It seemed like it was only yesterday that Saotome Ranma, Nerima's resident chaos magnet, an aqua-transsexual, and her fiancé, vanished; only leaving a note promising his return.

It had been so normal before then . . . or at least, normal compared to Nerima standards, that is. Shampoo, a Chinese Amazon that was also after Ranma, was shamelessly flirting with him and insulting her at every turn. Kuonji Ukyo, Ranma's third eligible fiancé, was also flirting with the boy, but also trying to balance her business and a rather unsteady friendship with the Tendo family, as she had very few friends due to her bastard father's idiocy. Then there was Ranma's father, Saotome Genma, and the amount of trouble that he brought, mostly in other (less attachable) fiancés, several debts, and other issues.

Round that off with Ranma's mother, a somewhat unstable women who wanted her son to be 'manly' with all three fiancés, several rivals in love who just would not take no for an answer, and Kuno . . . well, maybe it wasn't as normal as she would like to think.

And then, Ranma vanished off the face of the Earth.

There was precious little warning to it. All she could tell was that Ranma had been having some rather bad dreams just two weeks before he vanished. All he left was a rather abrupt note, promising that he would return after he had sorted a few things out.

That was over fifteen months ago.

The problem was, the chaos that everyone claimed that he attracted didn't stop coming. Several martial artists came around looking for a fight, and when they didn't get a good one, they ended up causing property damage to the area. Unfortunately for Akane's ego, she was not able to handle most of them, leading her to the revelation that she was not as good a fighter as she thought she was.

After healing from those fights, she tried to get her father, Tendo Soun, to train her more, but he refused, on the grounds that she was his 'little girl'. Happosai, the grandmaster of their art, wouldn't take her seriously either. And she couldn't even think about going to the Amazons for help. For one thing, she was afraid that Cologne, Shampoo's great grandmother, and an Elder of the Chinese Amazons would try something.

For another, they had disappeared shortly after Ranma did, in hopes of finding the errant 'airen' of Shampoo.

That left only one source of possible training at the time, so she swallowed her pride and went to Ukyo for help.

As it was a family style, Ukyo could not show Akane anything special, but she was able to show the other girl how she could improve her form by closing holes in her defense and maintaining control over her temper. When Akane later asked her why she was helping her, Ukyo explained that, while Akane was technically her rival for Ranma's affection, she was also one of the few friends Ukyo possessed, and she'd feel guilty if anything happened to her that she could prevent.

Konatsu, on the other hand, was a major help to both girls, as the cross-dressing ninja's fighting style did not technically count as a family style, though he did keep several techniques under wraps, so to speak.

Fortunately, this help came just in the nick of time, as about two and a half months after Akane came seeking training, THEY came into the picture.

At first, there were only a few reports of people being found dead in alleys. What was odd about them was the fact that they had been drained of blood, and rather violently mangled. No one thought much of it . . . until Sasuke, the Kuno family's ninja, ended up becoming one of them.

No one really thought much of Sasuke. Honestly, he was as much of an annoyance and his master, Kuno Tatewaki, was. However, he was a martial artist of Nerima, and for one of their own to have fallen . . .

Akane remembered that day. It was also the day that she found out that P-chan, a small, cute pot bellied pig that she kept sometimes as a pet, was also Hibiki Ryouga, wandering martial artist extraordinaire. She was NOT pleased about that, especially since she had found out after taking the pig into the bath with her.

She had confronted her sisters, Tendo Kasumi and Tendo Nabiki, about it after malleting the pervert into a low orbit. Neither knew about it, which surprised her, especially considering Nabiki was the local information mercenary. However, after talking to Ukyo about it, she was informed about Ryouga holding a promise of some sort against Ranma (Ukyo didn't want her to know her part in the fiasco, so she wasn't very descriptive). Having thus deduced why Ranma didn't come out and tell her, she forgave him after a few weeks.

As attacks got more and more serious, Akane attempted to talk to her father again, but he kept his stance against it until one of Nabiki's informants were found dead in the same manner. The next day, Soun found her loading a pistol and putting it in her purse. When he blew up over it, she calmly told him that it was the only protection she could count on, since Soun wasn't doing anything to teach her.

Having been shocked to his senses, he sat in a corner for the rest of the day, and when the next morning came, he woke all three of his daughters up early, and started training them again.

This didn't come soon enough to help pay the bills though, and with Genma still mooching off of them, they needed more cash. Kasumi had the house to take care of, Nabiki had her businesses (which was coming out with less and less money, as no one wanted to work the night shifts anymore), and Soun wasn't ready to train anyone outside of the family, so it was up to Akane to get a job.

She worked as a waitress for Ukyo for a bit, but as the night crowds stopped coming, she decided to save her friend the money and work at another restaurant for cash. This was why she was leaving the sushi restaurant, having taken an extra shift because one of the other employees didn't show up when they should have.

"Hey, Akane!" She turned to find her sister walking towards her. "I heard that you were working a late shift, so I decided to come out and walk you home, free of charge!"

"Thanks!" Nabiki, after losing two more of her employees, had taken to the job of bodyguard for anyone who had to go out at night. For everyone but her family, it would cost a fee, but she refused to allow one of her sisters to end up dead in an alley.

They strolled back to the house, taking an open route and avoiding the alleys. In most occasions, that had kept many people away from the conflict.

However, this was not the night for peace.

As they walked, both girls heard the tell-tale sound of two people jumping to the ground behind them. As they whirled around, they heard three more behind them again.

They were surrounded . . .

They were pale, male like beings, save for the fact that their faces were scrunched up. They wore, Japanese yukatas, but the way they moved said that they were expert fighters. One launched themselves at Akane, who punted him away with a ki mallet swipe. Another flew at Nabiki, and she ducked and kicked him in the gut as he went over head.

It felt as if she was kicking a brick wall.

The two girls kept fighting, which was good, considering that the strange men kept attacking. However, neither girl had the endurance to keep something like this up for over half an hour, so in the end, there was only one thing left to do.

After Akane kicked one man into another, Nabiki did the same, and both girls ran for it. They made it several blocks before four more men jumped in front of them, causing them to run into an alley . . .

. . . and the other five men.

They continued to fight, but in the end, Nabiki went down first when one man got a lucky hit in and knocked her into a wall. This distracted Akane, who was grabbed from behind in a steel grip.

"Finally!" one thing exclaimed, its demonic face grinning in horrific delight. "We win, you lose."

"Let go of us, you bastards!" Nabiki yelled, pinned to the wall by two of the bigger monsters.

The first one who spoke walked up to her slowly, fangs glistening. "How about . . . no!" To both girls horror, he opened his mouth and lunged towards Nabiki's neck. Akane screamed, while her sister scrunched her eyes closed.

As Nabiki stood there, shaking in fear, she heard an odd sounding scream, and felt a lot of dust hit her. She opened her eyes, hacking and coughing, and squinted to find the vampires staring at the other end of the alley.

She turned her head to find the figure of a young girl lit up in the streetlights, holding what looked like dango sticks between her fingers. The girl stepped forward, and as both girls stared, they eventually saw that the girls long hair, tied in a loose ponytail, was auburn colored, and she was wearing a red and black Chinese style dress like the one's Shampoo wore, save for the fact that she wore a pair of bike shorts underneath.

Still, it wasn't until the girl got closer that they gasped. Her eyes were blue, and despite a scar that travelled across her face, both girls realized that they knew this woman . . .

"You know, when I heard there was a vampire infestation in Japan, I was thinking that someone had their wires crossed. Looking at your ugly mugs, however, tells me that I owe someone in intelligence an apology. Now, are you going to go down easy, or will I have to take you down . . . hard?" the girl purred.

Saotome Ranma was back . . .


Akane stared at her fiancé. She liked to think that the time since his disappearance matured her a bit, but the Ranma she remembered from before looked nothing like this.

For one thing, before, Ranma was never really comfortable as a girl; you could see it in her eyes and stance: unless she was truly trying to act, she always came across as overtly boyish. When she did act, her stance would become so utterly girly that it was a surprise that Kuno didn't develop into a diabetic!

Now, Ranma's stance was completely feminine. Her hips were cocked to one side, and the opposite hand rested on its hip. Her smile was seductive, yet cold, as if she were casually flirting with the monsters they were fighting. Her hair, instead of the male pigtail that he was so fond of before, hung down in a somewhat feminine ponytail. Akane knew that this wasn't the time for this, but she could have sworn that she saw a bit of eyeliner on her lashes.

Suddenly, Akane was knocked back to her senses when she felt the guy behind her let go. She whirled around, ready to fight, only to find herself staring at a pale blond man in a biker jacket slam what looked like a stake of wood into the creature's chest. Behind him, another girl was slamming two more into the walls, while hurling what looked like a chopstick through the eye of a third.

As she watched this, she suddenly felt herself being picked up and tossed over someone's shoulder. To her shock, she realized that she had forgot about the fight, and was about to kick out until a soft, emotionless voice told her, "I do not mean you harm; please do not struggle."

She stared at the person's red-leather covered back, and noticed that: 1) it had bluish hair, and 2) it was a female, despite the odd feeling she got from her. Suddenly, she felt the person tense, and then accelerate towards the sky.

As they landed on the roof, she noticed that the blond man was holding onto Nabiki, who was still covered with dust. The man looked at her rescuer, and said, "I see you have your hostage, love. Not too feisty, is she?" His smirk was obvious.

"She is handling this much better than the last one. I am far more used to pain than most, but even I do not like having bite marks on my back."

"Not what you said earlier, love." The man, who had let go of her sister, grinned lecherously at the woman holding her. "And shouldn't you let go of her already? That isn't the most comfortable of poses, and I'm pretty sure that the girl doesn't like flashing everyone like that."

Akane squawked when she realized that her skirt, which was part of her work attire, was scrunched up in the back, and tried in vain to fix it. Her captor, on the other hand, did not let go. "We were told to watch our hostages carefully; I do not want another almost falling off the roof."

"Nabiki, noticing that the man was not looking away, quipped, "My sister is an accomplished martial artist; she can catch herself if she falls."

Akane's captor didn't say anything, but she did drop Akane onto her backside, causing her to squawk. She would have retorted, had a certain redhead not jumped onto the roof.

"My vamps are dust, and we have enough cash to keep us fed for the next few days. How 'bout you, Faith-chan?" she quipped.

Faith, turned out to be the girl Akane had seen before she was pulled out of the fight. She was a tall brunette wearing tight black clothing and a ripped jean jacket. "Everything is five by five, girlfriend, though if that will only keep us fed for a few days, then you better go on a diet!"

Ranma sniffed at that, and then turned to the blond man. "How 'bout you guys? Have figured out who . . . " She stopped, staring at Nabiki, who was standing next to him, in mute shock. She then turned towards Akane, and blinked. "Damn, should have known my luck would pull something like this before I was ready," she muttered.

The lone man in the party blinked in confusion, and then lit up, "Oh, don't tell me that these were some of the people you were going to visit next week?"

"Ranma," Akane said, softly, as she walked towards the redhead. She got closer, and then, as she reached her, she pulled her hand back, and then slapped her!

The crack was as loud as a gunshot.

"How could you, you bastard! You left us here, alone, for over a year, dealing with all the usual shit that you used to deal with! Where were you? You could have at least called or wrote a letter, damn it! How . . how . . . " Akane then burst into tears, and then glomped Ranma, sobbing into her chest.

The aqua-transsexual surprised Nabiki by wrapping her arms around the sobbing girl, and whispering something into her ear. They stayed like that for a time, until the brunette finally called out, "I'd hate to destroy this lovely scene, but aren't you going to introduce us?"

Akane stepped back, chastened, but Ranma just shrugged it off and handed the girl a handkerchief. "Sorry 'bout Faith-chan; she isn't really the emotional type." Said girl crossed her arms and huffed. "Guys, I'd like you to meet Tendo Akane, one of several fiancés that the bastard set up for me, and Tendo Nabiki, resident information specialist. Akane-chan, Nabiki-chan, I'd like you to meet Spike, Illyria, and Lehane Faith, my partners on my current job."

Akane nodded at that, but Nabiki was curious and suspicious. "What do you mean by 'partners'? And what is this job' that you are talking about?"

Ranma scratched the back of her head, and shrugged. "I mean that I work with them, and that they are my friends. As for my job, well . . . I guess you can say its killing vampires and demons and stuff."

"Vampires?"

"Those things that attacked you. They are demons who possess the corpses of other vampire's victims, and then attack and kill other humans. In order to kill them, you must cut off their heads, stick a stake into their hearts, or spray them with holy water." Illyria was succinct in her explanation.

Both Tendo girls blinked at the explanation, but Ranma just nodded, "That's pretty much the short side of it; there is probably a longer explanation, but I don't really feel like talking about it right now." She then shifted her weight back and forth a bit. "Um, can we talk about this as we walk around? No offense, but there is someone else waiting for us back at HQ, and we were supposed to be back with takeout about half an hour ago." Out of nowhere, two large bags with takeout boxes appeared in her hands, and then vanished into wherever they came from.

"S-sure," Akane stuttered, slightly shocked at the display of skill.

Suddenly, she was scooped up by Illyria, and by the time she was let go, they were already on the ground. After glaring at the odd woman, Akane set off, following her currently female fiancé.

Nabiki, on the other hand, was digging for info. "So, Faith-san, what exactly are you to Ranma?"

Faith shrugged. "Best friends, partners in crime and combat, situational lovers at times . . . "

Akane froze, stuck between her past reaction of overreacting and her current philosophy of trying to understand what is going on. Nabiki, on the other hand, kept looking between Faith, who was standing as if nothing was unusual with what she said, and Ranma, who was holding her head in her hands in exasperation. "Faith-chan, I thought we agreed that that would be considered private business, considering the situations . . . "

The brunette laughed, "It may be embarrassing for you, but I don't see how getting splashed with tentacle monster gunk and having to deal with the after effects is that damning."

The youngest Tendo latched on to this as a worthy reason, but was curious, "Tentacle Monster, what are you . . . "

Ranma blushed bright red, as Spike snickered at her. Illyria answered her, "Tentacle demons, much like the . . . hentai manga . . . is that right, Ranma-san?" Ranma nodded, face still in her hands, so she went on, "Tentacle demons, like their fictional counterparts, enjoy using their appendages to rape, molest, and fertilize females. As a survival mechanism, their blood is a powerful aphrodisiac. The theory behind it is that if one warrior manages to defeat one, the blood splattered on her will cause a debilitating lust to occur, crippling her to the point where others tentacle demons may attack and fertilize her without a fight."

Nabiki blinked. "Wait . . . you actually have to kill TENTACLE DEMONS?!?"

"Part of the job description: we kill vampires, demons, demonic cultists . . . anything and everything that goes 'bump' in the night, pretty much," Faith told her.

"Yeah, well, I still don't see where getting sucked into another dimension filled with those bastards is anywhere in there," Ranma grumbled.

"Hey, not my fault that you're karma's bitch!"

Ranma continued to mutter under her breath, as Nabiki rubbed her chin a bit. "I'm guessing that this seems to happen a lot?"

"About once or twice a month, I guess. Ranma, as she said, spent about a month trapped in some freakish hentai hell dimension. Came back a virgin, too, if you can believe that. She's one of the few girls we have that can avoid being impregnated, but she always seems to get hit with some of the guts at some point or another."

"That, or I owe you enough to actually reciprocate," Ranma muttered, face out of her hands and tinted red.

"Hey, I could have just let you suffer under the effects of that lust spell, you know!"

Akane blinked again, "Lust spell?"

"Long story short, one of the girls got fed up with Ranma wanting to become a man again, and thought some righteous female orgasms would be enough to change her mind. It was about a month after we met each other, I think . . . "

"Month and a half."

"Oh, right. Anyways, one of the girls, thinking that Ranma needed to get laid, cast a lust spell on her that was guaranteed to drive a girl crazy within a couple of hours, and geared it to set her after anything male. Amazingly, Ranma managed to last about a week against it. Problem is, they only way to get rid of it would be for her to have sex with somebody, male or female. Since she was getting to the point where she'd jump anything with a cock, I decided to help my new friend and training partner." Faith then gave the redhead a leer. "And what a night it was!"

Ranma blushed heavily, while Akane just stood there, wondering what to make of this. "So in other words, you and Faith . . . "

"Faith-chan and I have an unusual relationship;" Ranma finally managed after a moment, still blushing lightly. "Both of us have been hurt enough to have enough of normal relationships. We both have had crappy childhoods and have major abandonment issues. Neither of us is looking for a real relationship at the moment, but we seem to end up together most times anyways. I won't say that we are truly lovers, but we do seem to end up sharing beds from time to time, depending on our emotional and physical needs."

She then chuckled mirthlessly to herself, "Then again, considering how much of an emotional wreck I was after the curse got screwed up . . ."

They had started walking again during Ranma's monologue to herself, but this statement caused Akane to stumble again, "Wait a minute, what do you mean by that?!?"

Ranma froze, and then slapped herself in the face. "Knew I forgot to mention something. Faith-chan, you want to start this?"

Faith grumbled to herself for a second, and then started, "Long story short, there is mystical group of girls out there known as Slayers, who awaken sometime between fourteen and eighteen. Used to be only one Slayer, destined to stand alone against Vampires, Ghouls, and Demons, but two and a half years ago, a friend of ours casted a spell that fixed that, turning everyone who had that potential into a slayer, and allowing other girls to awaken at certain points in time. Ranma's problem is that that bit of magic doesn't work well with others."

Nabiki was about to ask a question, but Ranma, in a quiet voice, asked, "Do you guys recall how I kept waking up, screaming at night, and wouldn't say anything about the nightmares I was having?"

Both Tendo girls looked at her, but before they could comment, Ranma went on, "When a Slayer first starts to awaken, they have a bunch of dreams that are related to the past lives of other slayers. Most of the time, it deals with how they died . . . and none of them died pretty."

She went on, not seeming to notice anything around her, "Some were tortured to death . . . others burnt to crisps by demon fire . . . quite a few were raped horribly . . . and I had to live through each dream as if I was that girl . . . when the Slayer Spirit finally came to me, it reacted poorly to my Jusenkyo curse, and practically shattered it, trapping me as a girl! I couldn't stand it anymore; I was emotionally and mentally crazed, and . . . I just had to get out of there, before anything could happen to make me snap . . . "

She shuddered, and unconsciously slid a hand down to her lower belly, as her thighs pressed together tightly. Faith noticed this, and in a sympathetic voice, asked, "Let me guess . . . you had the hot poker dream too, huh?"

Ranma nodded, and both Tendo girls blinked at this. However, Nabiki, being the smartest of the duo, managed to figure out what was going on, and paled. "Wait, you mean that you had a hot poker shoved . . . oh KAMI!" She rapidly turned green, and Akane, after a beat, soon followed, having had enough to figure out what was unsaid.

Faith nodded, pale faced, as Spike muttered death threats against any vampire who would have done that. Ranma, on the other hand, snorted softly. "Feh, as if that was the worst of them."

Faith, Akane, and Nabiki froze and looked at the girl in shock, as Illyria cocked her head and asked the obvious question. "What do you mean, Ranma?"

Said redhead seemed to shrink into herself, and then, quietly whispered, "Sometime in the 1920s or 1930s, the current Slayer got caught by a demon worshiping cult. Instead of killing her, however, they decided to use her as their playtoy." She shuddered, then added, "She died three years later, after being raped in all three holes, pierced, tied up, and impaled on various phallic objects. She did not die sane."

Ranma began to rock herself from side to side, and started muttering to herself, as if she had lost it again. Faith, reacting quickly, grabbed the smaller girl in a tight hug, and then hefted her into her arms. "OK, time for talking is over; if you want to continue, follow me, and I'll show you where HQ is; I'll try and fill you in after I get this one to bed."

She started running, and soon, both Tendos found themselves running behind her, Illyria, and Spike, heading deeper into the night.


COMING UP NEXT: We meet the last member of our Slayer party, and the Tendo girls get a better description of what being a Slayer means. Ranma manages to regain her hold on sanity and rejoins the group. Spike and Illyria are truly introduced to the Tendos. Later, a return to Nerima! Stay tuned!