Chapter 1: Breaking up is hard

"This isn't going to work for us anymore, is it?"

Slowly tears began to fill her eyes as she realised the truth in the softly spoken words. Unable to say anything she just nodded and kept looking at her folded hands in her lap. He was right. It wasn't working for them anymore and hadn't been for a long time. She had just come to realise that the last hour or so, while she was sitting on the couch. It had turned out to be another night spent sitting on the couch in silence. Like last night and the night before and pretty much all of last week. Thinking back, she couldn't even remember when they had done anything but sit on the couch, watching TV or a movie not really talking to each other when they were together.

She had been wondering when they had started to drift apart. Was it last week, or maybe last month? Or had it been longer than that? Truth be told, it had been longer than that. If she was really honest with herself she realised that their relationship had slowly started to deteriorate well over 6 months ago. There had been no arguments, no fighting, no cheating, no talking, just silence.

"So what do we do now?" He wanted to know. Penelope looked up, while the tears started to fall down her face.

"I don't know," she answered with a hoarse voice. "I just don't know."

"You know I still love you Penny," he said to her. "It's just… I don't know…" He sight and rubbed his chin.

"It's not the passionate lovers love anymore," Penelope finished his sentence. "The love we used to feel, when we first started dating."

He nodded in agreement. The magic of their passionate love for each other in their first year as a couple had simply vanished to be replaced by a friendly love. Gone were their passionate nights, their romantic candlelight dinners, the poems they used to write to each other, the stolen kisses during working hours, the happy feeling they used to get by simply looking at the other person, the cuddling and all the other things that made their relationship such a fantastic thing to experience. They still loved each other; no doubt about that and that's why Penelope's heart was breaking. To comfort herself she unfolded her hands and wrapped her arms around her waist.

He noticed her sadness and gently touched her arm. "I'm so sorry honey," he whispered while tears started to cloud his vision. He didn't want to end it, but on the other hand, he didn't want to go on like this anymore.

"I know. I'm sorry too," she managed to say. "I don't want to loose you, but I don't like living the way we have done for the past 6 months."

"Neither do I," he agreed. "Neither do I." There was a moment of complete silence. He cleared his throat and continued: "So that still leaves us with the question what are we going to do now? Seeing that this is your apartment I think it's for the best that I leave tonight."

It took Penelope a couple of seconds to realise what he was saying. He wanted to leave; he wanted to leave her tonight. She felt like her heart was breaking into a million pieces, but somehow, she was also aware that there was no other way to end this. They simply couldn't continue this way and he was right; this was her apartment after all. But it had been their home for the last year or so. Not that they officially lived together, but he was there all the time, when she wasn't working on a case with the team. Together they had made it their home, a home with place for both their belongings. Her Super 8 camera, his c.d.-collection, her colourful collection of fuzzy pencils, his books… it made her apartment their home, and after tonight it would be her apartment again and that hurt.

'Be strong now Garcia,' she told herself. 'It's as hard for him as it is for you.' She took a deep breath and stood up from the couch, while wiping the tears from her cheeks. Pulling up all her inner strength she asked him if she could help him pack his belongings. Together they packed most of it and made arrangements for the bigger things to be moved to his old apartment.

After checking to see if he had everything it was time to say goodbye. It was a very awkward moment. Neither knew what to say. Penelope was hanging on to her last bit of strength and tried not to break down completely before his eyes.

"Well I guess this is it then," he said as he picked up his last bag. "Penny, I… I…" he stuttered. Without saying a word, Penelope wrapped her arms around him for the last time and hugged him tightly.

"I love you," was all she was able to say.

"I love you to baby," he hugged her back. "If there's anything you need, anything at all, please give me a call. Even though we're not meant to be together as a couple I still love you." With those final words he let her go and walked out the door, closing it gently behind him.

When she heard the soft click of the front door being closed, Penelope finally caved. Sobbing she slid down the wall. When she hit the ground, she tucked her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them for comfort. But it didn't make her feel any better. Her world had come crumbling down tonight and she felt like she would never feel better again. Her hand reached for her phone. She really needed to speak to her best friend, she didn't want to be alone, not tonight. Without looking she pressed speed dial. She was still crying as she waited for the phone to ring.

"How's my Baby Girl doing?" She heard a deep familiar voice ask. She was immensely relieved that he answered his phone and started to cry even harder.

"Penelope, baby what's wrong?" He sounded worried.

"Derek, could you come over here. I really need you." Penelope managed to say between sobs.