If we were in high school, Luz would be the class clown. You know, he was friends pretty much with everyone and always cheered everyone up. Even when there was nothing good, Luz saw the bright side. That's what Luz just is. Or was. Luz had been a bit of a Debbie Downer instead of the class clown. Or no, actually he had seemed a bit depressed. And not little bit. Not even bit. A lot. Luz was definitely depressed. It concerned Frank. He and Luz had been kind of best of mates, like brothers, ever since Camp Toccoa. Running up to Currahee, eating shitty spaghetti and talking shit about Captain Sobel – that's what best of mates do, right? Even after Normandy, Carentan and Market Garden Luz had been all cheerful and cracking men up with his hilarious jokes. It was Luz's thing, to make everyone else happy. Apparently everyone else than himself. Frank didn't mean to be a creep or anything, but he had lost count of how many times he had seen Luz sitting outside all by himself looking incredibly depressed.
When the company finally hit Bastogne, Frank noticed Luz wasn't much around others. He liked to be alone, mostly sit in his foxhole staring at the horizon. Since Frank and Luz wasn't the best of mates anymore – from Frank's point of view – he didn't know what to do. He asked Roe, who promised to talk with Luz. He never did. Frank kind of ended up being sad also, not because of Bastogne or the war in general, but because of Luz. He missed the old Luz. This new one made Frank concerned and worried. He was pretty sure he hadn't changed a word with Luz since they arrived to Bastogne. Most of the time Frank spent in his foxhole, or in Bull's foxhole. He tried to avoid getting face to face with Luz. Frank's not being rude, but he thought Luz looked like hell. He was too lazy to shave, the dark bags under his eyes told everyone about the lack of sleep and his skin was paler than usually. His uniform was messy, he didn't speak much and when he did, he snapped or sounded pissed off. Even to Frank.
"Hey, Luz. Have you seen my—" Frank had once started looking for his helmet.
"Nothing here is yours", Luz had snapped back without even looking at Frank. It was heart-crushing, really. Actually, at that particular moment Frank had wanted to jump in Luz's foxhole, grab his shoulders and yell at him. Ask what the hell was wrong with him. Tell him he missed him. Let him know that he was always there for him. Yes, whatever Luz needed, Frank was there for him. Too bad Luz never seemed to need anything. Not even a chat buddy or anything.
"Hey Bull", Frank managed to say after they had sat over three hours in Bull's foxhole in complete silence. Bull was like a big brother. If Luz and Frank were brothers, then Bull was definitely the big brother.
"Yeah?" Bull lifted his gaze on Frank, who was playing with his jacket's hem nervously looking at the ground. Bull frowned a bit. This tiny guy sitting opposite him seemed a bit down. Perconte usually never was down. Though, everybody was a bit down. Bastogne did it. How could anyone ever be happy in a place like this? It made Bull wonder where all the joking and kidding had gone. Neither Guarnere, Skip or Luz had been really themselves. Especially Luz. He had changed.
"It's Luz", Frank finally sighed and looked at Bull with this slightly pitiful look that made Bull want to hug him and tell him it's gonna be alright. It was a cliché. Everybody knew no one was going to be the same after the war. Not even people like Luz, who made it through Normandy and Carentan with laughter. Like Bull didn't know, he asked, what about Luz. It was obvious. It was kind of a stupid question, and Bull couldn't help but start worrying if he had made Perconte feel even worse.
"Well… He has changed, a lot. I don't know, Bull, looking at him makes me feel like shit. I think George lost it. Himself, I mean. I really miss the old him. Not like miss, but I miss his jokes and all", Frank fixed quickly and let out a deep sigh. He definitely missed Luz. The whole Luz. The Luz who would take Frank to have a beer, the Luz who would teach all the card game he knew to Frank, the Luz who would sleep in the foxhole and let Frank drool on his shoulder, the Luz who would laugh.
"I'm gonna go to my foxhole. Thanks Bull", Frank said quietly when Bull didn't answer. Bull didn't know what to say. Frank had said much less than his nearly broken voice had told. And Bull couldn't stand that. He remembered how in Carentan the boys were playing fanny grab and tag and made everyone else hell of annoyed by acting like an irritating pair of twins. The fact that they were about the shortest men in the whole Easy Company, it made them feel like everyone's little brothers. Bull let out a deep, depressed sigh as he watched how Frank started wandering towards his own foxhole. That's it. Bull didn't want to see Perconte like this. He waited for couple minutes, then got up and carefully made his way to the Luz's foxhole. Luz clearly didn't want to be around people, he was always on watch – staring at the horizon with his gun ready to fire any Germans. Bull stopped for a while, then took couple steps forward and finally slipped into Luz's foxhole. He got an annoyed frown and an angry look as greetings from Luz.
"What are you doing here, Bull?" Luz asked, sounding really calm but still kind of pissed off. It made Bull want to punch him and told him to look after Frank. But he didn't. He didn't because he knew how much Frank actually meant to Luz. Luz just never mentioned it. And he just didn't notice what he had done to Perconte. Dumbass.
"Shut up, Luz. I talked with Frank", Bull answered with slightly tense voice.
"Oh really?" Luz uttered an annoyed laugh that was literally yelling no-shit-you-fucking-idiot to Bull.
"He can't cope much longer without you. He misses you, you dumb fuck."
That's all what Bull said before climbing up and sneaking back into his own foxhole. If Luz didn't do anything, then he would be the dumbest asshole ever seen. What Bull didn't see, was Luz loosening his grip of his gun and his eyes loosing the focus. Luz turned to look at Bull, only to realise that the other man had already gone. Frank can't cope much longer. He misses… you. Frank misses Luz. That little information made Luz shrug and focus on the horizon again.
Next morning, it was tense. Winters was just such a dickhead at times. Right now, Luz was walking next to Perconte, just because Winters had given them map to other company's camp and a list of stuff their camp needed. Either he had no idea about the situations in between his men or then Bull or someone had told him to do that. Anyways, they were walking towards the camp – or at least they thought so – about one or two meters in between them. In complete silence.
"Geor—"
"Shut up."
And Frank shut up. That's what he does – obeys Luz. Always, no matter what. They walked a mile after mile in silence that was at times broken by gunfire. It's not an awkward silence, it's… just silence. To Frank, it's sad. If it were good old times, Frank and Luz would've been laughing all the way. Perconte took a quick look at Luz and decided to speak up. No matter what is cost to him.
"Luz."
"Shut the fuck up, Sergeant!" Luz raised his voice and didn't even look at Frank.
"You shut the fuck up, Luz, what the fuck is wrong with you? You fucking think you can just change like that and not care about m—anyone anymore, huh? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Frank stopped walking. He couldn't help himself. It all just bursted out as a yell. Luz finally looked at him, just to face this disgusted but yet pitiful and heart-crushing look on his mate's face. For a brief moment, Luz's angry frown loosened a bit. But just for a brief moment. He quickly took a step or two to get right in front of Frank. Then Luz pushed him, roughly. It completely surprised Frank, who fell down on his arse. He squinted his eyes a bit, frowning and looking at Luz without understanding him.
"It's none of your fucking business! I'm not supposed to look after your heart, god damn it!" he yelled back, as surprised of his yelling that Frank had been just a second ago, and turned around.
"Luz", Frank started quietly as Luz started walking again. He stopped immediately as he heard Frank's voice, but he couldn't look at the other sergeant. "I can't hold it together much longer." Frank's voice wasn't much more than a whisper. It was because his voice about to break. It was enough to make Luz turn around and face Frank, who was still sitting on the ground drawing or writing something on the snow. He lifted his eyes on Luz, and Luz couldn't just walk away.
"I'm sorry."
It came out as a whisper from Frank's lips. That dead look of anger that had frozen on Luz's face was gone. He tilted his head to right, closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. Frank looked at the ground again, realising how awkward he had made it. Luz tilted his head to back, opened his eyes taking a good look at the bright winter sky and then sighed looking down at Frank. He gathered his courage, made those couple meters between him and Frank disappear and crouched on Frank's level. Perconte didn't look at Luz, he looked away to his right.
"Look, Frank—"
"I know this eats you inside. Bastogne. The whole war", Frank interrupted Luz. His voice was surprisingly steady and calm, considering the about to cry –look on his face. Luz sat down, right in front of Perconte and took off his helmet. He kept his eyes on the man in front of him.
"I also know nobody's waiting you back in England. Or back in States", Frank kept going. Touché. That was true. Luz didn't have any relatives except for his older brother, who he hadn't met since childhood. Luz didn't have a wife, a girlfriend or children. Luz had been frigging handyman before the Camp Toccoa. He bet that every single friend of his back at home had forgotten him. He had been gone for years. Luz swallowed looking away, to the opposite direction than Frank.
"But George, you know I am here. I ain't waiting you, I am here with you. I'm gonna be in England with you. I'm gonna be in States with you. Just… Grow a pair and face it, your change fucking sucks. I need you to be George fucking Luz again, okay? Not a fucking lame-ass Sergeant Luz" Perconte finally ended and looked at Luz, who turned his gaze back on him. Frank didn't look like he was about to cry anymore, he looked steady and calm, yet sad and insecure. Luz's emotion didn't change much. He stood up, putting his helmet back on and offered a hand to Frank.
"I can't. And you know it. Along all these other things you seem to know", Luz responded as he helped Frank up. Great, this little bitch Luz was back. Frank frowned. He had just made a wonderful speech about how much he cares about Luz, and Luz doesn't give a shit.
"You know what, fuck you, Luz, fuck you."
That's all what Frank said before he started walking quickly towards the camp. Too bad neither one of them knew they were totally lost. So, let the walk in complete silence featuring gunfire began. It kept going for hours and hours until Luz realised they were back at the road that leads to their camp. Frustrated, arguing loudly about each other's incapability of reading map and navigate they headed back to Easy's camp. They nearly started a fist fight as they returned the map and the news to Winters.
"What is wrong with you? I thought you were some sort of friends", he shook his head frowning little.
"Yes, sir, you're right. We were", Luz commented taking an arrogant look at Perconte who looked absolutely desperate. Winters felt bad for the kid. The way Perconte looked after Luz, it made it all seem like a high school boy watching his crush walking away. Winters couldn't help but chuckle. That received a bit hurt glance from Frank, who grabbed his gun and decided to go to his foxhole. Stupid Luz.
When Luz and Frank had returned, it had been around 2pm. The rest of the day Frank spent moping in this foxhole, making Bull concerned. Luz was an idiot for not listening to him. Of course Bull saw his point of view, but still, to be like that to Frank. It'd be okay if he acted like that towards anyone else but Perconte. Luz was going down, and he was taking Frank with him. Still, Bull let Frank be and Bull let Luz be. They would find their way back to each others eventually. Or that's what Bull wanted to believe.
A day went by. Two days went by. A week went by.
It was a loud evening in Bastogne. Germans had started the gunfire around 10pm, and it's was Perconte's turn to be on watch. So he was. Mostly he was just taking a naps and took a glance to the horizon every once in a while. When shit got serious and a half of his foxhole was blown up, Frank took off and ran as fast as he could to the closest foxhole, jumping or more likely diving into it. And as his luck couldn't get any worse, it happened to be Luz's foxhole. Other sergeant gave him an irritated look. The gunfire eventually calmed down, and neither one of them hadn't said a word.
Luz's foxhole was ridiculously small. Of course it was, when others made their foxholes big enough for three or four people in the fear of being alone in one, Luz had made just a fine foxhole for one. Frank could feel how his arm touched Luz's arm, how he was right next to him. He felt like apologizing but decided to stay quiet. Eventually, Frank fell asleep.
Luz found it really irritating. Frank always had fallen asleep incredibly quickly. Almost everybody had problems sleeping, except people like Speirs who didn't have a bad conscience about killing people. Frank sure had, Luz knew that. Frank was such a sweet person, if he wasn't an Easy Company's soldier or not a soldier at all, Luz could bet he couldn't hurt a fly. Luz smiled a bit, just a bit. He scratched his knees as he glanced at Perconte. This was the first time during this evening Luz had problems deciding if Frank having to dive in his foxhole was a bad or a good thing. Other sergeant sure looked sweet and innocent. The smile escaped on Luz's lips again. Frank's head fell down on Luz's shoulder letting out a loud snoring voice, and that's when he cracked up laughing, waking Frank up.
"What the hell, Luz, can't you see I'm fucking sleeping?" Frank sounded pissed, just like he always does when someone interrupts his sleep. Luz kept laughing and finally buried his face on his hands. Frank flinched further – which means he leaned to the wall of foxhole, not on Luz – and literally stared at Luz. Was he still dreaming? Or is George Luz actually sitting next to him, laughing his ass off?
"I'm sorry, Frank. I love you, okay? Go back to sleep and drool on my shoulder", Luz finally raised his head and looked at Frank. His hair was all messy and there was still this lousy smile on his tired face. Frank smiled, leaned his head on Luz's shoulder and he could bet he had never slept better.
