Magpies: Vampire's natural enemies?

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Magpies, or Pica pica (that's their scientific name, no lie) Enjoy shiny things, right? And what could be shinier than vampires?

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Bella was doing the laundry, something she sometimes snuck out to do, as it was one of the few things that made her feel anything close to normal. Suddenly, Edward burst into the laundry room, a wild look in his eyes. Seeing Bella, he began to calm down. Bella looked at Edward, bemused. "What's wrong with you today?' Edward responded in a relieved tone of voice. "Thank God… I thought you were being abducted by magpies…" Bella looked at Edward perplexed. "Magpies? Why?" Edward began to speak. "Because Alice saw a vampire being torn apart by them." "Suddenly, a vampire appeared from the trees, throwing off his cloak, he declared "HA HA HA! I AM HERE TO TAKE YOU TO MY DREAD LORD, CAIUS!" Edward frowned, before stage-whispering to Bella. "Looks like SOMEONE forgot to take of the Caps Lock." The vampire frowned, enraged. "WHY YOU-" He cut himself off mid-snarl. "A magpie…" he squeaked, before running off to the left. "Why was he so scared?' Bella asked perplexed. Edward pointed towards the horizon, where a massive flock of birds could be seen surrounding an undistinguishable shiny mass, small birds sometimes leaving the flock carrying small sparkly chunks of the …thing… Bella gasped. "Magpies like shiny things, and as we all know, vampires are very shiny. On sunny days like this, sometimes huge flocks of magpies gang up on unsuspecting vampires, rip them to shreds, and carry the shreds back to their nest." Edward replied, grimly. "I'll never look at magpies the same way again," said Bella shakily.

finis