Everyone has problems- not one baby is born completely perfect. Some people have illnesses, some people have physical defects, and some people have problems with their heads.

Logan never considered himself to have mental problems. He never considered his shyness to be "anxiety problems". He thought that depression and suicidal thoughts were just part of being a teenager.

He definitely wasn't as screwed up as the people here in this therapy session. Not as screwy as the people walking the halls or in the bedrooms of this hospital, who laughed to themselves or pulled out their hair or tried to hurt people.

"Alright," Nina, the group therapist, said cheerfully to the group of seven, all sitting in folding chairs in a circle. Logan didn't want to do this. He didn't want to be here. Group therapy would mean… TALKING. And Logan didn't like talking. That's why he was here in this "looney bin". "Let's start by going around the room and telling our names and conditions. My name is Nina and I'm the therapist here, but I have a bit of a problem with eating chocolate. Carlos? Wanna go next?"

"Sure do, Nina!" the Latino to Nina's right said happily. Logan recognized him as his roommate. "Hi, guys, I'm Carlos Garcia. I'm bat shit crazy and I've been stuck here for a half a year now. And I have another personality and his name is Robin and he's totally dumb, but I guess he's part of me. I've had to be in a shitload of these sessions and one-on-one therapy and I'm on meds, but I guess I'm too far gone to be helped too much."

The group looked expectantly to the guy beside him, who said his name and condition, then the next girl, then the next boy- a tall brunette who sat back in his seat casually. Logan noted that he was all muscles, very handsome but with darkness beneath his eyes and hollow cheeks.

"I'm James. I'm anorexic, sometimes bulimic, and I work out."

The girl beside him went, then Logan beside her turned bright red when all eyes turned to him. His lips were pressed tight, eyes wide as they darted around. No. He couldn't talk.

"How about you?" Nina asked.

Logan shrunk in his seat and shook his head.

"I guess he's shy," Nina laughed, looking at her clipboard. "But I can certainly tell his name. Mr. Logan Mitchell."

Logan turned bright red again, wanting to run away and hide. Luckily the attention turned to the guy between he and Nina.

"I'm Kendall. I've been here about fifty billion times cause my ma and my sister are scared of me. I almost went to jail once for beating my girlfriend, so I guess that's why."

"And tell everyone your diagnosis, Kendall," Nina egged.

"I'm bipolar. Real bad. But mostly I'm just pissed the hell off and paranoid that everyone's out to get me. So it's pretty cheerful in my life," Kendall said sarcastically.

Suddenly Logan wanted to get up and run- get away from the psychopath beside him. While Logan had been mute for a year now, this guy seemed outspoken and aggressive.

"Now. Does anyone have anything they'd like to talk about today?" Nina asked.

YES! Logan thought. How about the fact that I haven't said a word to anyone for a year and I'm just now being admitted to this place? How about that there isn't anything wrong with me other than my unused vocal chords, the sad thoughts in my head, and the scars from the times I tried suicide? How about that I hate it here and would rather go home and read? But no- I'm not allowed books here. I could cut himself with paper, the doctors thought, don't give me books.

"Yeah," Kendall said. "I'd like to talk about the lunch ladies drugging my food, please!"

"Kendall, nobody drugs your food," Nina said boredly, having obviously talked this over with Kendall before.

"I won't take those God-damn pills and that's why they do it! I'm a twenty-year-old man, I have the right to keep myself off of those zombifying pills! So why do they keep trying to make me take them? Huh?"

"Anyone else?" Nina asked the group.

"Nina, you fucking bitch. You never listen to what I have to say. This is group THERAPY. Just cause you're too scared to handle me alone doesn't mean that you shouldn't listen," Kendall snapped.

"Do you need to be removed?"

"Fine! REMOVE ME! But I'm taking shy-guy Logan here with me!"

Logan's eyes widened and he shrunk in his seat, face heating up, tears about to spring from his eyes. He couldn't handle all these people looking at him. He couldn't handle this guy saying his name!

"Lay off, asshole," James snapped. "Can't you see he's scared as hell?"

"This is none of your business, pretty boy!"

"Boys, boys," Nina tried.

"Wanna go?" Kendall challenged James, standing up strong.

"Kendall, sit DOWN!"

James set his jaw and shook his head, flipping Kendall the finger. Kendall sat down angrily and crossed his arms.

"James, let's talk about you standing up for Logan," Nina said thoughtfully. Logan's eyes caught James' for a split second before he turned red and covered his face with his hands.

"He reminds me of my ex-boyfriend," James said, staring absently at Logan.

"Faggot," Kendall sneered.

"Patty's little and cute like Logan is," James went on, ignoring the comment. "I didn't want Logan to explode from the embarrassment. He seems shy- I'd say that's why he's here."

"Logan? IS that why you're here?"

All eyes turned to Logan and he popped up, turning to leave and tripping over his chair, making it clatter to the floor. His hand clapped over his mouth and he ran to the door to leave.


Logan was starved. He had been in the hospital for two days- two of countless to come- and still hadn't eaten anything. How could he? He didn't know where the cafeteria was, and how could he ever ask?

A nurse entered and he was taken to the phyciatrist's office.

"Logan, you're going to have to talk to me," Dr. Call said, her legs crossed and her clipboard on her lap. Logan's eyes raised to her, his mouth shut. "Do you talk when you're alone?"

Logan shrugged and nodded a little. Sometimes when he was home alone he liked to sing. Sometimes he would stand at the window and talk to birds. But he hadn't talked to another human for so long…

She nodded appreciatively and looked him over. He never seemed to look her in the eyes for more than a second. He normally looked at her necklace instead. She wondered what could have caused this.

"I heard you left therapy this morning," she said. Logan nodded. "Why?"

Because everyone was LOOKING at me. People were saying my name.

Logan shrugged and dropped his eyes.

"Your anxiety is out of control, Mr. Mitchell."

Logan stared at his hands, knowing she was right. He couldn't look people in the eye. He couldn't talk to them. He couldn't touch them. He couldn't even handle his name being said.

"I need your permission to give you medications," she said softly. Logan looked up, caught her eyes for a second, and dropped his own eyes to her necklace. The charm was a little K. Maybe her name started with K.

He tried to imagine a world where he could hug his own mother. Where he could fall in love. Where he could smile and show the world his dimples. Where he would talk to people and laugh and have friends. He would love that… But he loved his quietness more. In a world where he didn't talk, he could watch people. As long as they didn't see him, he loved to observe people's movements and watch their mouths move when they talk.

He signed a paper and was allowed to leave.

He went into his room to find Carlos there, humming to himself.

"Hey, bro!" he smiled to Logan when he entered, Logan blushing and bowing his head. "How come you left therapy?"

Logan sunk down to sit on the opposite side of the bed, invisible to Carlos. The Latino shrugged and went on with his business.

"I'm not eating this SHIT!" came a yell and Carlos jumped up to go to the door, peeking out. James was in the next room, throwing pudding and sandwiches and cookies out and splatting them against the wall. "IT'LL MAKE ME FAT!"

"HEY! Shut the fuck up!" Kendall called from down the hall. This caused a riot of yelling through the hall that sent Logan crawling to the door to look out, head about level with Carlos' knees.

Outside, nurses we trying to calm everyone down.

"EVERYONE CLOSE YOUR DOORS AND STAY IN!" one called and Logan and Carlos had to get back into the room. There were some patients that couldn't handle conflict and got out of control.

An hour later, there was still yelling going on, and nurses had to bring dinner to the patients. Logan was thankful for this and sat against his bed, out of Carlos' sight, and ate.

He was surprised when Carlos came and sat beside him with his food.

"You don't talk, do you?" he asked. Logan shook his head, curling up and scooting away from the boy's arm touching his. "Hm. Well I'm Carlos. You know that from therapy."

Logan suddenly felt like he might throw up. He hadn't had private time with anyone in forever and he hated the closeness. He could feel that this guy was friendly and would touch him sooner or later, and he hated that.

"I just wanna let you know that if my alter-ego comes out, his name is Robin. He's really serious- like, he likes to organize things and wants everything perfect. He won't hurt you or anything. He might not even talk to you. But if you pick a fight, he'll damn sure fight back. But I wanted to tell you that he comes out when I'm feeling stressed out. I mean, I have ways of managing my stress now, so he hasn't been released in a long time, but if he does, it's totally fine. Kay?"

Logan nodded a little, taking a nibble of his sandwich.

"Cool. Are you on meds?"

Logan shook his head.

"WILL you be on meds?"

Logan nodded.

"So then will you talk?"

Logan shrugged, never even looking at Carlos.


"Okay, I've assigned a partner to everyone," Nina said as they all settled into their therapy chairs the next morning.

Partners. Great.

Everyone was paired with someone, one with Nina. Finally the last two pairs were up next and Carlos smiled at Logan from across Nina, hoping they would be paired up.

"James and Logan. Kendall and Carlos."

Logan stayed in his seat as everyone got up to reluctantly go to their partner. He didn't even look up. He just stayed there, clutching his pen and pad nervously. They had given him that to communicate with, but he hadn't written anything on it, nor did he plan to.

Even if he remembered who James was, he wouldn't get up.

Someone plopped into the chair beside him and rested an elbow casually on the back of his chair, making Logan tense up.

"Relax, honey, I won't bite," came a voice and Logan's eyes flicked up to the tall brunette, then back to the floor. James smirked and turned his attention to Nina as she started talking.

"We're supposed to share our life stories," James said, nudging Logan with his forearm, making Logan jump and heat up with anxiety.

He heard the room fill with scrapes and metallic bangs as everyone moved their chairs, including James. Logan almost died when James turned Logan's chair- boy and all- to face him.

James sat there, elbows on his knees, which were spread wide, looking up at Logan.

"Name's James Diamond. Born and raised here in Minneapolis, always played hockey and never did good in school. Always been the pretty boy and known it. I haven't really eaten since I was 16, and I'm 19 now. I stopped because I hit this growth spurt that made me gain some weight, and like, that's not cute. I'll eat some cake here and there or some salad to make my ma happy, but I always stick my finger down my throat after. I uh- I like to work out. It's kinda my thing. What about you?"

Logan just stared at James' Adam's apple. He has to have SOMETHING to look at while the person is talking to show that he's listening, and since James didn't have a necklace, he watched his Adam's apple dance in his throat. But when James moved to replace that with his eyes, making Logan look at him, Logan heated up and squeezed his eyes closed.

James sighed. He hated- HATED- feeling like someone disliked him.

"I like your shirt," James offered, observing Logan's Aerosmith shirt. "You like Aerosmith?"

Logan gulped and opened his eyes, staring at James' knee and nodding a little.

"Badass. Who else do you like?"

Silence.

"Metallica?"

Logan shrugged and nodded a little.

"Pink Floyd?"

Logan nodded.

"Got good taste in music- I like you."

Logan's breath caught and blush heated up his face as he ducked.

"Were you born in Minnesota?"

It took a while, but Logan nodded.

"Cool, cool. Did you play hockey?" Logan nodded. "Badass! Dude, we're like the same person."

James didn't ask any more questions for a while, letting Logan calm down. Instead he inspected him. Logan was cute- even adorable- with his dark hair and timid eyes and fingers peeled painfully on the sides from his anxiety.

"What's this paper for?" James asked, taking the pad of paper from Logan, then the pen. "Oh, I guess it's cause you don't talk, eh?"

Logan bit at his lip nervously.

"Will you write me a note?"

Logan's eyes flashed up, locked with James' for a split second, then dropped. The paper and pen were put in his shaking hands. He didn't want to, but he felt like he should or James would keep bothering him.

He slowly drew four lines across the paper, then a solid dot between the bottom two, giving it back at James.

James burst into adorable laughter, almost falling out of his seat.

"I guess you did write me a note, right?" he laughed. Logan considered up and leaving then, but James' stern hand clapped down on his knee and squeezed gently, flirtatiously, keeping him there. "Who knew you were funny AND cute?"

Logan was close to a full on anxiety attack.

"Okay, okay, I'll let off before you die," James laughed.

Soon the circle was formed again and they all had to share what they learned. Logan had no clue how he would get out of this one.

Kendall went first.

"I learned that Carlos wasn't kidding about the bat-shit crazy thing. I pissed him off so bad his 'alter-ego' came out and slapped me," Kendall said smartly.

"He kept calling Carlos Mexican," Carlos, or "Robin" huffed. "We aren't MEXICAN. We're Spanish and Venezuelan!"

"Whatever!" Kendall snapped.

"Robin? What did you learn about Kendall?"

"I don't know, because I wasn't there for the autobiography. But I assume that he was dropped as a child and that's why he's such an asshole."

James giggled from beside Logan, catching Nina's attention.

"James, there's nothing funny about people's conditions."

"No, I was just laughing because, like, this is ridiculous. Who pissed Carlos off so bad that he turns into another person? He's my best friend and I've never seen that. He's such a nice guy, like- what?"

"How about you? What did you learn about Logan?" Nina challenged, knowing James probably got nothing out of Logan.

"I learned that Logan doesn't talk, and that he's afraid of people. It sounds mean, but he really is. Almost jumped out of his skin when I sat beside him," James said casually. "But I learned that we like the same music and he was born in Minnesota and that he played hockey. I asked him to write me a note on his nifty pad thing and he gave me this," James showed the "note" and some giggled. "So I found out that he's actually kinda funny."

"Logan? What did you learn?" Nina asked Logan. Logan froze, eyes darting around the room.

"He learned," James said, clapping a hand on Logan's shoulder. "About my condition and my high school life and stuff. And that I'm a super nice guy."

"James," Nina sighed. "I asked HIM."

"He won't talk to you, Nina, I promise! I just wanted to rescue him before he blows up."

Logan desperately wanted that hand off of his back. But yet… It was so warm… And James HAD rescued him.

That didn't stop Logan from darting out of the room after the session before James could kiss his cheek or something.


I know that a lot of you guys have been in a mental hospital before, I, however, have not. I'm sorry if I get this stuff wrong, but if someone who HAS been in a mental hospital before wants to volunteer to be my PM buddy so I can ask questions, just lemme know.

I hope you all loved this first chapter!