Love and Hurt Intertwined

Mary almost falls when she sees him again. Of course, she's seen him on the news. Getting up to no good. Has seen his image plastered all over the newspapers. Reeking havoc. Has seen him in her dreams. Her own personal reel of history films; him in a leopard skin loin cloth, spear in hand; him in Roman garb, sword raised; him lying bloody and broken...always with a weapon, raised to defend her. She has become adept at separating that part of her life. It's almost like a dream, nothing real, nothing tangible, nothing that has actually happened to her. But then Ray brings him home. And he is standing so close to her that all she needs to do is take a single step to close the gap between them and she'll be able to touch him again. But she doesn't. Because he doesn't remember her. And she's glad for this...really, she is. Because she knows that if he remembers, then it will be close to impossible for her to segment her feelings for him. To pretend that that part of her life is not real. If he remembers, she will go to him, and they will attack, and he will defend her. And the cycle will play again as it has always played. Love and hurt, intertwined for her forever.

She loves him so much that it is a physical ache in her bones. The thought of him getting hurt causes her to hurt. The pain rises up and almost chokes her making it impossible for her to hear a word that Ray says. She is surprised at her own strength, that she is able to speak through the lump in her throat. That she is able to keep herself upright and look him square in the eye as though he is not the entire universe to her. Love and hurt, intertwined forever.

Later, she tells Ray to stay away from him. She knows this will be the only way she can do the same. The only way to protect him. Her thoughts turn inward even as her hands busy themselves applying lotion to skin that will never age. Thoughts in turmoil, a sword plunged deep into his stomach in Greece. Hands methodically applying lotion. Yes, she has to stay away from him. It's the only way he'll survive. Love and hurt, intertwined forever.

Why does he keep coming back? She knows that he feels it. The pull that's between them like a physical rope tying their fates together. She turns around and he's there. So close. Her lips go to his of their own accord. They know their way, have kissed him millions, upon thousands, upon hundreds of times. The small caress opens up the floodgate of hurt that she's been working valiantly to stem. And before she knows it, her thoughts of pushing him away to protect him have manifested into a physical push that sends him flying. All these years of being careful with Ray gone in the split of a second just by the merest brushing of lips. She has no control when it comes to him. Love and hurt, intertwined forever.

In the end, she follows through with her plan to keep him safe. He moves to New York and she stays in LA. She loves him so much that she would rather hurt by being apart and know he's safe than love being together and expose him to danger. Love and hurt, intertwined forever.