Disclaimer: I don't own any of Azumanga Daioh or the characters.
I've been out of the one shot game for many years, and only have one to my name so forgive me if this is terrible. It was something spontaneous, written in one sitting close to midnight.
Love. She found that word almost scary. What it meant to her was what scared her. The one she loved…it just wasn't seen as normal. She didn't even know if love was what it could be called. Could her feelings be considered love, or where they merely the result of the confusing years of teenage life, not quite an understanding adult, no longer a child? She liked to think she could act serious, be respected…yet she couldn't even comprehend one of her biggest most vital feelings.
Kaorin rested her head in her hands as Kimura continued to talk at the front of the class. She hoped just this once, just for today she wouldn't be seen by him, she could just continue with her school work without being harassed. She knew he meant nothing harmful with it- but it was strange. But at the same time in an odd way it was almost flattering. Here was a man, happily married with a child- but he still had a keen focus on her. Deep down she almost found it…pleasurable? She had the power to make a fully grown man fall to his knees and declare his affection for her.
She gripped her head, confused. But it wasn't men she was interested in! She wasn't interested in that sort of thing, she wasn't interested in boys…
After so many years of denying it, just about hiding it from the others and trying to hide it from herself she admitted it. She wasn't interested in boys. She held no fascination towards them. The others, Chihiro, Tomo and so on always swooned over the boys and men, famous stars, cute boys that lived on their street. She'd always played along, not wanting to stand out. Always pretending to find the boys cute, attractive- but all the time her eyes had been on only one person.
Sakaki-san.
Tall, beautiful, her mere appearance lit up Kaorin's day, no matter how dreary it had been. One thoughtful look from her eyes, her exhalation…her tall body sculpted to perfection. She sighed to herself. Summer was here for another two months. More swimming lessons, more Sakaki glistening in the water. She had no idea how she'd made it this long without being discovered. And in a way she almost wanted to be discovered. It'd make it so much more easier. Just the thought of approaching Sakaki scared her- how would the others react? Would her friends accept it or disown her? Would Sakaki turn her down point blank? How would her mother feel about her choice of lifestyle?
And at the same time a faint flash of hope passed across her. She'd never once heard Sakaki declare a crush on any boy, had never seen her show any sign of interest.
Annoyed and frustrated she gripped at her hair, ignoring the look of concern from Chiyo. What should she do? What could she do? She had let it develop so much that she couldn't merely approach Sakaki and tell her…or could she? Sakaki often seemed removed, even cold by some of the class. But Kaorin had seen her. She was a shy girl. She'd seen the occasional looks of pure bliss that passed across her cute face when she was with friends or animals. And of course those photo's of Sakaki at the beach. Kaorin grinned as she remembered she had been invited this time- and Miss Sakaki was definitely going. She could spend time with Sakaki, enjoy her company…see her in that stunning bikini and perhaps even do a Tomo and share a bed with her. She nodded her head. She could at least try.
The bell ringed and much of the class stood up, some leaving to pick up snacks, others merely waltzing around the room. This was their own homeroom, Kimura having to move in to this room to teach where his room was temporarily flooded. Her heart skipped a beat as he waved eagerly at her, but slowly he turned and left the room. But not before peering around the door and getting one last look at her.
She gripped the end of her skirt tightly as she composed herself.
"This is it Kaori" she said to herself. "You're just going to walk to Sakaki, ask to speak to her and tell her the truth. You can do it Kaori."
"Hey Kaorin, wanna go get some snacks with me?" asked Tomo, standing beside her desk.
"No thanks!" said Kaorin manically, standing up suddenly. "I have something I have to do! I can't help!" Go away, go away, go away!
"Ok Kaorin! Want me to pick something up for you?"
"I'm ok thanks."
She stepped out from behind her desk and began to walk down the small corridor between desk columns, when a group of boys suddenly stepped in her way. Without missing a beat she climbed onto a desk, ignoring the comments, before climbing back down and walking to Sakaki. The tall girl sat in her chair, looking out of the window towards the swimming pool.
"Er…erm, Sakaki?" said Kaorin nervously.
"Huh?" asked Sakaki turning to face the girl, who was now trembling. A look of concern briefly crossed her face. "What's wrong?"
"Wrong? Oh nothings wrong" said Kaorin before laughing in a chaotic fashion to try and hide her nerves. "I…well I just wanted to talk to you."
Sakaki looked towards the girl. A glimmer of hope was felt within Sakaki- perhaps Kaorin would finally invite her to that group.
"Yeah" continued Kaorin. You can do this! "I was just wondering…well have you ever had feelings for anyone?"
"Well not really, I've never thought about it."
"Oh…well surely there must be a boy you like…maybe an actor or someone?"
"I don't know. I think I may be a late developer…there aren't any boys I'm interested in."
Kaorin tried her best to hide the smile bursting to be released. "Oh really?"
"Yeah. I don't know if it's strange or if perhaps I'm…well…"
Kaorin took in a deep breath. She had to do it now, before the fear got the better of her. Thinking about it, this wouldn't be so hard, she could do it.
"Sakaki, I lov-"
Riiiiiiiinnnnnnnnng!
Kaorin was wakened from her slumber to find Kimura standing beside her desk.
"You're so cute when you're sleeping" he stated, his gaping mouth wide open.
"Argh!" cried out Kaorin. Just a stupid dream.
"Well class dismissed" said Kimura, walking out of the room- but not before peeking once more at Kaorin. He disappeared and the class was left to its own devices.
Despite being nothing more then a dream, Kaorin felt a strange confidence within her. She had been able to say it in a dream without any problem. It was just four words. She could say that. She composed herself (this time for real) and stood up. Walking past Tomo who was busy annoying Yomi, she reached Sakaki. She gently tapped Sakaki on the shoulder and the quiet girl turned.
"Yes?" she asked.
Kaorin took in one deep breath. Now was the time.
"Sakaki. I have something I want to tell you. I…"
