Obito is okay.
Well, he was okay up until his boyfriend for two years dump him for some bimbo last week. He is getting better though. He's sure of it. Rin just doesn't understand that in order to forget the heartache, he must burn some stuff.
If the said stuff was a pile of teddy bears that says 'I love you', an orange mug and some shirts that coincidentally came from his ex-boyfriend, then it wasn't her business. He already told her he was fine. A little bit of a pyromaniac right now, but fine.
"I don't think listening to sad songs, eating buckets of ice cream and just generally moping is considered all right, 'Bito." Rin says, no, stated because she's always right about everything. She proved that to him eight years ago when she decided to break it up because "we love each other sure, but not romantically."
It was the best decision they ever made but also the worst because Obito has no goddamn taste in partners and kept pulling in assholes, gold diggers and bitches. Sometimes it's all of the above.
The twenty-nine years old man turned the music down and sighed loudly. He refused to look at the woman in front of her, afraid that his best friend could read the expression of defeat in his eyes. She turns into an upset mother when she does and that's the last thing he needs. It's already bad that he can't control his depression but it would turn worse if Rin caught it like a disease.
"I understand that it's hard. Moving on, I mean." Oh no, here comes the pep talk he didn't ask for. "It only happened last week and it was a surprise too. I would've not thought of Zetsu to be a lying, conniving weasel but apparently he is." Did she just growl? If Obito was a stranger he would have been pissing his pants. It was animalistic. "But you know how I don't want to see my bestie being sad and upset." He's impressed. Rin did a one eighty, growling words to puppy dog eyes in four seconds flat. "How 'bout we go drink your problems away?"
No, not again. Last time they tried 'drinking their problems away' they ended up arrested for vandalism and Obito woke up with a tramp stamp on his butt. He doesn't even remember going out of the bar or visiting a tattoo artist in the middle of the night, but after a hangover of the lifetime, bits and pieces of memories came at him one by one. None of it was pleasant. It's a good thing the memory of the night didn't complete. He wasn't sure if he could handle all that stupidity he did in the span of nine hours.
It's a bad idea and Obito's being idiotic for even considering it but answering with a single nod just proved that he's an absolute moron.
They made a promise to each other that they'll only drink one glass. After that, Obito could go home and sulk, er, listen to music and Rin could go back to whatever she does.
Halfway on their drinks, his best friend suddenly light up like a child on Christmas day. She faced Obito with a wide grin on her face.
"No," Obito says flatly before she could even open her mouth. He knows that look. It's the same look she gave him when she tried to hook him up with that pale-looking guy with green hair she met in the nearby café. She thought he would be a good partner for him. Sure, it was good… for two years.
"Aw, you didn't even know what I was going to say," Rin whined.
Obito nodded. "No, I don't, but I have a good guess it would only end with tears."
"This time it's good!"
The Uchiha didn't even bother to tell the woman that the last time she said it was good the guy she introduced was apparently an ex-convict. Kabuto was his name and he got jailed due to multiple cases of partner abuse. Ironically it was also her who told him that bit of information before the relationship got deep.
No wonder Kabuto was insisting to add BDSM on their bedroom. It was just his luck that he was a vanilla kind of guy and since his boyfriend was just new, he didn't attempt to show his true colors yet.
"Please, just listen and then judge later." She pleaded. Damn, Rin was always his kryptonite.
He sighed loudly and embraced his defeat. "Okay."
"Kurenai said Kakashi Hatake is in the city and-"
Obito interrupted before she could finish the sentence. "NO!" he shouted. He didn't mean to snap at her, it's just that Kakashi was his high school rival. Rin should know that. He hates the guy with a passion. Heck, Rin was infatuated with the guy for four years. Why is she even telling him this? "Whatever you're thinking, erase it, control alt delete! Error four-o-four, your idea not found!"
"Wait, listen-"
"No means no, Rin! It means nein, zilch, uh-uh and no way! Capiche?"
Rin snarled at him for the first time. Obito would have been proud that his best friend could finally stand up for herself if it wasn't aimed at him in the first place. "No capiche! I just want to help, Obito. You're obviously sad and I-"
Ugh, what is it with Rin and trying to be a matchmaker? She's obviously bad, no, horrible at it. Obito's records of partners are the evidence. "I don't need your help!" He yelled loudly. Bad idea as Rin quickly shut her mouth with a loud snap and her eyes that turned wide from his outburst started to tear up. "Rin, I didn't mean- well, I did but- you- I…" He groaned. "Can we just drink silently and forget this happened?"
His best friend sniffed and slowly nodded. Obito glanced around and notice almost everyone in the room is looking at them now. He didn't care though. Today is already a shitty day. It's not like it's going to get worse.
He's pretty sure sniggering without reason is not normal but he can't help himself. He feels light and giggly, he's so damn happy even though he's not. Far from it even.
Obito slumped farther in his seat, Rin's head on his shoulders. The man poked the brunette's cheek and when she stirred, he tried to suppress his laugh. "Psst, Rin, you awake?"
Rin groaned in frustration and made herself more comfortable. "I'm now," she whispered without opening her eyes. Her words have a slight slur onto it. They're truly drunk. "'Bito, 'bout earlier, I wasn't going to hook you up with 'Kashi. I'm not that mean. I wouldn't do that to you. In fact, I was s'posed to say we should prank call him."
Obito's alcohol muddled mind said it's a great idea. "Sure, let's do it."
Without glancing to his friend, Rin crunched his eyebrows and frowned. "We can't do that now. I had, like, drank three bottles of beer. Hell, you drank six!"
While she was trying to reason with an alcohol fueled Obito, the Uchiha already stole her smartphone from her purse, assumed Kakashi's number was on her contacts, pressed it without hesitation and the device started ringing. Goddamn, he was fast.
"Hello? Rin?" A familiar voice asked.
Rin miraculously sobered quickly and grabbed the phone from his giggling friend. She covered the speaker with a hand. "Are you nuts!?" she hissed. "When I said 'prank calling him' I meant using your own phone and changing the tune of our voices!"
"Oops. I wasn't thinking, sorry." Obito didn't even bother to look sorry. He was grinning ear to ear.
Rin sighed loudly and uncovered the speaker. She was about to apologize and lie, pressing the wrong number and such when it vanished from her cheek.
"Yeah, hi… she's here with me… yes… oh? Don't remember me? … No, I'm not her jealous boyfriend. I was her boyfriend once though. Eight years ago… no, I'm Maito Gai," Obito rolled his eyes, "Of course I'm Obito Uchiha, who else? … You're still an asshole I see…" Rin could hear Kakashi chuckle and then explain something to Obito . His eyes widen for a second. "Did you just ask me on a date?" He hummed thoughtfully. "… Pick me up on eight, nighttime, tomorrow. Oh, and tell sober me I prank called you at-" He looked at a nearby clock, "Three in the morning. My sober self would understand." He ended the call.
Rin was almost afraid to ask but her curiosity weighted more than her fear. "What the hell just happened?"
Obito gave her a thumbs up and a winning smile.
Eight o'clock in the Evening
The doorbell rang.
"Who is it?" Obito called from his living room. He was having his brooding marathon and he just finished eating a bucket of ice cream.
"Obito? It's Kakashi Hatake. You prank called me at three in the morning yesterday and I believe you owe me a date."
"…."
"Obito?"
"Fuck, did I just Prankcepted myself!?"
What happened at the bar after Obito "called" Kakashi...
"And that my student is how you do a prank inside a prank call. I just pranked my sober self by acting like I was going to prank call somebody else, genius isn't it? I call it Prankception! I can't wait to see the look on my face tomorrow night once Kakashi freaking Hatake is at my doorstep. Can you imagine my expression?"
The girl ignored the question and gape, hoping that sober Obito wouldn't get mad at her later. It's not like it was her idea. Okay, it was, but like the night they got super drunk and she casually muttered to Obito that getting a little pumpkin tattoo on his butt was a great idea; it was the Uchiha who dragged her ass out of the stool and visited a tattoo artist in the first place. It wasn't her fault… completely.
Although she was very lucky Obito didn't remember much from that night or the Uchiha would have been furious.
07/04/15 - Edited grammar mistakes and changed the flow of the scenarios.
Cross-posted in AO3
