The Princess and the Knight
A mediaeval encounter, complete with dragons and a damsel in distress. One-shot, next gen.
In the best families, it is an unshakeable tradition that after Sunday lunch, the children are turned outside to play. At the foot of the tree house, James Sirius Potter, rather red in the face with the strain of playing host to Uncle Bill's family, who had come for lunch, was attempting to get things organised. His stress levels had not been improved by both Victorie and Dominique declining to come on the grounds of being "too old to play with little boys."
"Right!" James shouted. "We're going to play knights in shining armour! Lily! You go up the tree house and be a princess. Louis, go over there and be the, er, old servitor, with a big crooked staff to lean on."
The reason for the alacrity with which the somewhat shy Louis obeyed his younger cousin became apparent a moment later, as James drew out his latest and most treasured props for playing knights: two Weasleys Wizard Wheezes dragon party horns. These not only shot out a large cloud of orange non-burning flame but emitted a very loud roar. Louis retreated a little further behind a tree as James blew one.
"Al," he said with a slight tone of regret, "gets to have these and be the dragon, and I'll be the knight-"
"How come you get to be the knight?" Al demanded hotly.
James gave him a superior look. "Because I'm the oldest! I'm nine! You're only eight!"
"But knights weren't the oldest! Knights errant are the younger sons! It says so in all the books!"
"But I'm going to be a real knight! Errant knights didn't rescue princesses! They're the villains! Errant means wrong!"
"No it doesn't!"
"Yes it does!"
"No it doesn't!"
"Well, you've got to be the dragon!"
The argument waxed loud and hot, loud enough to reach the ears of Teddy Lupin, who had also come to lunch and was now sitting up a tree, trying to finish the paperback thriller Dominique had brought with her before it was time to go home. The Potter garden was good for large trees to sit in, but it was still impossible to concentrate when two small boys were shrieking, yelling and blowing roaring party horns at each other nearby.
With a sigh, Teddy gave up and descended from his tree, his hair shifting from mottled green to sandy grey. "Is there a problem?"
The rival claimants got straight to the point:
"He says I've got to be the dragon!"
"He says he won't be the dragon!"
Teddy looked from one Potter to the other. "You're both about as red in the face as a a pair of Hungarian horntails. Why don't you both be dragons?"
"Because somebody needs to rescue the princess!" Al objected passionately, waving up at the tree house.
Teddy raised his eyes to see Lily, who had gradually backed up the ladder to get away from the dragons, peering down at him. "Well,what if the princess had two dragons to guard her, and I was the rescuing knight?"
Two potential dragons looked at each other, and then James blew his party horn in loud acceptance. "I'll be the bigger dragon! I'll be the fiercer dragon! I'll be the..."
"Louis?" Teddy enquired, over the dragon mantra. "You want to be a dragon too?"
Louis shook his head, and clutched his staff yet more firmly.
"Are you my armour-bearer, then?"
"He's the aged servitor," the bigger and fiercer dragon broke off roaring to explain. "'Cause he's older than me."
The rescuing knight closed his eyes for a moment. "James, your Aunt Hermione is quite right when she says your name disproves Shakespeare. What does the knight get for armour and weaponry?"
The answer was a choice of large sticks and a biscuit tin lid with a leather handle spello-taped onto the back of it. Thus equipped, Teddy took a few paces back and then marched forwards.
"Come, what have we here? A fair princess trapped in a tower?"
"She's not fair," said the younger dragon. "She's awfully red-headed."
The knight chuckled. "Lily, I'm afraid your dragons are not chivalrous. But fear not, gentle maiden!" He waved his stick with a flourish. "We will deliver you!"
On this enthusiastic note, Teddy's hair veered suddenly to black with bushy eyebrows. The two dragons roared, and there was an entirely role-appropriate shriek from the princess – unfortunately followed by another and another and another.
"Don't like it! Don't like it! Won't be delivered! Won't be eaten by dragons! Won't be hit with sticks! Don't like it! Waaaah! Waaaah! Waaaah!"
And before the knight had time to answer, the damsel in distress flew down the tree house ladder and fled towards the house, her speed somewhat enhanced by James blowing his dragon horn at her.
There was silence at the foot of the tree house, which Louis broke with an accusing finger pointed at Teddy. "You frightened her! With that hair!"
"With – oh, Merlin!" Teddy examined his reflection hastily in the shiny side of his shield. "It looks worse than Granny on a bad day. Er, hang on..." He tugged at a black lock, and his hair responded with purple dreadlocks and an orange moustache. "Herpo's snakes! This is no good! Al," Teddy looked up desperately. "You go and get Lily to come back, while I get myself, er, sorted." And he tugged again, to produce pink curls.
Quiet reigned for a few minutes, while Louis and James watched earnestly and Teddy took deep calming breaths and cycled patiently through magenta, snowy white, lime green, pale violet, and then turquoise. At this point Al came trotting back. "She's coming!" And he shot his dragon horn down James' ear before his brother had time to duck.
Teddy gave himself a final stare in the tin lid. "Ah well, that's a fairly normal shade – Oh!"
He stopped as abruptly as if he had been looking in Perseus's shield with the Medusa itself, and flushed a deep shade of pink to the very roots of his turquoise thatch. Two people were coming down the path from the house: a still slightly snuffly Lily, clutching firmly to the hand of a tall, stunningly blonde girl.
"Lily doesn't want to be rescued," Victorie called cheerily as they reached the trees. "So she's asked me to be the princess, and she's going to be the brave hand-maiden keeping me company, aren't you, Lily?"
Lily nodded, and Victorie smiled. "So, who's rescuing me?" Her gaze ran enquiringly over the two Potter boys to Louis hiding behind the tree – and then stopped. "Oh!"
Fifteen stared at sixteen for about an eternity. Then Teddy Lupin stepped forwards and swept a stunning bow. "At your service, Princess."
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