Disclaimer: I don't own Mortal Instruments.
part one.
"Come on, Clary." Isabelle grinned, popping open the lid to a beer. She'd finally turned twenty-one the previous week and liked to flaunt the fact in front of her mother. Maryse Lightwood scowled over her own refreshment, disapproving of her daughter's choice in drink.
"What? I'm not, I swear." Clary sighed, grabbing Isabelle's beer and taking a giant gulp of it for proof. The three women in the house: Isabelle, Maryse and her mother, Jocelyn, had all been questioning her for the past hour.
"Clary, be honest… I'm your mother, you can tell me anything." Jocelyn said. "I love you, and I just want you to trust that I'd love your baby too."
"Mom, Jace and I are not having a baby. I haven't even had a pregnancy scare; I'm one hundred percent un -fertilized.
Clary pushed herself off from the counter and made her way to the fridge, intent on eating something other than Isabelle's burnt tacos. Isabelle watched her closely, trying to notice any sort of bump in her stomach. There wasn't one.
"But you're twenty!" Isabelle glared, "and you're, like, pretty much engaged. I mean we all know you're going to marry Jace."
"We're meant to be together; obviously I'm going to marry him." Clary grinned, rolling her eyes at Isabelle's comment. "But just because were young, doesn't mean I'm pregnant."
"Young?" Maryse laughed, eyebrow raised. "I was pregnant with Alec when I was barely eighteen, and that was old!"
"It's true, most shadowhunter women get married younger than you and have kids, we're just surprised you're not." Jocelyn said. Even though she was excited at the prospect of becoming a Grandmother, she was secretly glad her daughter wasn't pregnant yet. She wasn't exactly ready to admit Clary was all grown up, yet.
"So wait- your actually encouraging Jace and I have a baby?" Clary asked, stunned. Never, in a million years, would she have believed they actually wanted her to be pregnant.
"I mean, we're sorta responsible for re-populating and all… should you like, start?" Isabelle laughed, taking another sip of beer. She couldn't believe how red Clary was turning at the moment, it was a mix between a cherry and deep apple red.
"Why doesn't she have to, too?" Clary glared and pointed a finger towards Isabelle.
"Because her boyfriend physically cannot giver her children or she'd probably have quite a few…" Maryse teased.
"Ouch mom, you make it all sound so scandalous. Obviously Clary, I was born without maternal instinct and I'm helping by fighting." Isabelle said in her defense.
"I am too," Clary growled. "I go out each time you do, and I kill demons too!"
This conversation was quickly getting on her nerves and she wanted it to be over, she wanted to forget about the entire baby making business and go find Jace.
"Look, we both know the only reason you're allowed to walk out the Institutes front doors is because Jace is with you, and that he becomes like a mad man, fighting not only his own, but yours as well." Maryse sighed. Clary bit her lip to keep herself from snapping at her 'future mother-in-law'. It was true though, Jace did have a habit to jump in front of everything that came Clary's way.
"You're a great shadowhunter, babe. Like seriously, super good. You can kick major demon ass but how long until Jace lets you?" Isabelle pointed out. "I mean one day he's going to be so busy watching you, he'll get blindsided."
"Clary, we just want what's best for you… and maybe a baby in the house."
Clary rolled her eyes and turned to walk away.
"So basically, you want me to have a baby."
"Yes." All three women chorused.
"Fine."
Clary stomped out into the hallway, ignoring the cackling laughter behind her and made her way to the library quickly. She slammed the giant oak doors closed and curled into a ball on the nearest plushy couch. It was lie to say she hadn't been thinking about it. She knew she wanted a child; she'd always wanted to become a mother. The first time she met Jace she knew she wanted his child; she wanted her baby to have little golden ringlets and honey gold eyes. Her life for the past four years revolved around demons and trying to stay alive, and now maybe she could experience more then continual death. Maybe now she could have a child and that child could bring joy and live back into the Shadow Hunting world, into her world.
"I must be nuts, Jace would never agree to having children. He'd think it was too dangerous." Clary frowned and let her fingers run along the couch. Jace took protection to an entire new level, and he would never consent to having a child if he didn't believe he could protect her- or him- fully.
"I suppose it never hurt to ask." A voice startled her, making Clary jump in surprise.
"Alec? I uh- I was just musing." Clary stuttered.
"Don't worry, I wont tell." Alec laughed, he walked over toward Clary and sat on the couch besides her.
"Do you want a baby?" He asked, bringing his hand to rest on top of hers. Things had definitely lightened up between them, but they were no where near close enough to be talking about this.
"Yes," Clary whispered, like it was some great secret she was ashamed of. "I do."
"Then he will to."
Jace Lightwood did not like the way his girlfriend was staring at him. Correction, Jace Lightwood did not like the way his soul mate was staring at him. He fingered the hem of the blanket a little longer, hoping she'd change her expression or at least look away.
It was dark outside, the moon a tiny sliver in the sky. Jace swallowed dryly, nervous now at the intense gaze Clary was giving him. Finally, he couldn't take it.
"What?" He demanded and released his grip on the blanket, letting it fall to the floor with a light thud. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I want to have sex with you." Clary said simply, folding her hands over her crossed legs and waiting for a reply.
"Oh- well, if that's what you want." Jace grinned, immediately relaxing. "Normally you don't ask though, you usually just jump me."
"I do not!" Clary huffed, blushing.
"Don't worry; I like it when you have your wicked little way with me." Jace winked and stood to move over toward her. They'd been active for a little over a year now, and he was still surprised at her stamina and aggressiveness. Pleasantly surprised.
"Sit down Jace- we need to talk about it before we have it." Clary ignored his last statement.
"Why, what's wrong?" Jace asked, suddenly very, very concerned. He'd been completely free of any sort of disease or illness and he was positive she'd been a virgin their first time, plus they'd been safe each time.
"Are you pregnant?" Jace asked, his eyes wide.
"No. I'm not-"
"Ill?"
"No but-"
"Want a threesome?"
"No, well actually mayb-"
"Did you cheat on me?" Jace whispered, unable to look at Clary. He felt like his chest was burning and she hadn't even confirmed it yet.
"What? Of course not, Jace. Don't be stupid." Clary rolled her eyes, again.
"Then what is there to talk about?"
"I want to have sex with you, without a condom and not on birth control." Clary said, wincing a little at the end. It sounded lame to her ears.
"You'd like to have unprotected sex with me," Jace was pale, really pale. His mouth tasted dry and his heart was beating like crazy. He knew the meaning behind the words. She wanted to have a baby; she wanted to have his baby.
"I'm not saying we should have a baby, I'm saying we should stop trying not to have one." Clary muttered, fidgeting a little.
"I'm not like the average male, Clary, my guys are like little rockets, that's why we your on birth control and we use a condom. If we go off, I guarantee you, the first time you'll get pregnant."
"So no?" Clary chewed her bottom lip and wrapped her arms around her knees. She'd known he probably wouldn't go for it, and felt stupid she'd even brought it up to him.
"I don't know, do you think were ready for a baby?" Jace asked, evaluating their life and the possible future. He never thought about kids, he knew they'd eventually have some, someday, but he hadn't thought any further about it. He was positive that Clary was the one who'd bear his children, but that was pretty much it.
"Were not even married." Jace said. "Were not even engaged, I haven't even found a ring yet. Where would we live? Here, at the Institute or in Idris? Your mother would kill me, you know."
"Jace, all I know is that we're meant together. I know that I love you so completely that it hurts, and that I want us to have something that will forever be a testament to our love. I want to have a child with you, and it doesn't matter if were engaged, or married or where we live, because as long as I have you, it'll be enough."
They didn't speak for a few minutes, each too wrapped up with their own thoughts. He knew she was right, but he couldn't help but feel if it was too soon. He knew that at twenty-one he'd be considered old for being a new father, but they'd only spent three years together, excluding the year they thought they were related. It seemed selfish, but he didn't want to share her with anyone else.
"Do you really want a child, Clary?" Jace asked.
"It doesn't matter if I want a child Jace, it matters if we want a child."
"I'm nervous." Jace confessed after a long pause. "I'm terrified that something would happen, I'm scared you'll get hurt or the baby will get hurt and I won't be able to protect either of you. I'm scared I'd do a bad job as a father… I don't know if I'm ready."
"Jace…" Clary felt her heart tighten in longing, she wanted to dismiss his fears, tell him it was ridiculous and convince him that a baby would be perfect. But she couldn't, she couldn't lie and tell him that she didn't feel the same, that it didn't matter to her because she wanted one.
"No baby." Clary said firmly. Her heart felt heavy and exhausted, she wanted on so bad. "At least not for now."
"I'm sorry Clary, I'm just not ready yet." Jace hunched, looking at the floor, the walls, anywhere besides Clary. He couldn't face her, he knew she was disappointed.
"Don't ever be sorry about how you feel, if you're not ready for a baby, then we are not ready for a baby."
Clary crossed the short distance in between them and crawled on his lap, forcing him to position himself to hold her.
"I love you." She whispered in his ear, curling a golden blond strand of hair around her finger. "I will forever love you."
"We'll have a baby, I swear." Jace promised. "Just not now, not until we're married and until we've figured out a few things."
"I know." Clary smiled, wiggling herself a little on his lap, breathing light kissed along the underside of his jaw. The effect was immediate.
"In the mean time, I know some other things we can do…"
