Finding Paz by Nombre de plume

Author notes: 1. I do not take credit for The Walking Dead storyline or any of the characters. I am just borrowing them for a while to take them on a lighter journey than they have been on this past year (Season 5). 2. Any errors in editing are mine. 3. Any errors in translation from Spanish to English are mine. 4. The songs referenced are from the album Lagrimas Negras by Diego el Cigela and Bebo Valdes. 5. English translations will be in italics next to the Spanish word. 6. I have taken artistic liberty with the characters, scenery and settings of the Alexandria Safe Zone. 7. This is the first story I am sharing on-line. I hope you like it.

Chapter 1

Daryl stepped out from the darkness of the forest in to the moonlight of the clearing. He and Aaron had been separated hours ago when a simple run turned challenging first with a herd of walkers and then a late spring ice storm. Daryl made his way into the clearing, wet and cold and disappointed not to see Aaron. They kept a car with gas, food and water at this location in case of emergencies. Hopefully Aaron would arrive soon. The weather was turning colder and the ice covered the ground and trees. It was too dark to drive or search tonight. Daryl would need to spend the night here.

He heard a noise to his left and turned sharply, raising his crossbow and hoping to see Aaron emerge from the forest. What he saw instead was a woman wearing a short black dress, light winter coat, and a pair of sneakers. Daryl shook his head, trying to clear his vision – thinking he was seeing things. But she was real, ice in her hair, soaking wet. Daryl and Aaron had found other survivors in unexpected ways, but none matched this encounter.

The woman froze, clearly scared when she saw Daryl with his weapon trained on her. She paused for a split second, but before Daryl could lower his bow, she charged. She kicked at his knee and tried to knock the weapon from his hands. Despite her small size, Daryl was knocked off balance. He set the bow to the ground, and wrapped his arms around the woman to stop her assault. Suddenly the woman turned, pulling away from Daryl, and looking to her right. She froze again and whispered, "Javier."

Daryl grabbed his bow from the ground and aimed it in the direction she looked. There was no one there. The woman looked back at him, tears in her eyes, and began to shake. Daryl lowered the bow, and spoke to her in a soothing voice, like he would an animal stuck in a trap. "I won't hurt you," he said. "Ayuda me," help me. "Por favor" please.

Then she sank to the ground and began convulsing. Daryl scanned the area but still didn't see anyone or anything. He bent to scoop her up and ran towards the car. She was soaked and ice had built up in her hair and on her clothes. He opened the car door and placed her on the back seat climbing in behind her.

The woman continued to convulse and Daryl knew he needed to get her warm if she was going to survive the night. He had no idea how long she had been out in the storm, but she was freezing to the touch. She seemed to be unconscious, but Daryl spoke softly to her anyway. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said again. "I need to get you out of these wet clothes." He reached in to the front seat and turned the car over setting the heat on high and hoping the noise of the engine didn't attract any walkers. He kept the lights off, but could make out the women in front of him from the light of the moon. She was dangerously pale, her lips turning blue. She was breathing so Daryl assumed it was from the cold.

He started to take her wet coat off, talking softly the whole time so as not to scare her. "I've got you. It's going to be okay." Daryl pulled her up to take off her dress, and realized it was actually a nightgown. It came to her mid thighs, had long sleeves, but was sheer across the back. He barely had time to think about how she ended up running through the forest in the middle of the night in her nightgown. Where could she have come from, they were miles from anywhere.

Daryl pulled the wet garment over her head and tossed it the floor of the car with her wet coat. Despite the heat being turned up full blast, the car remained cold. The woman continued to shiver and convulse. Daryl had a very real fear she was going to die before he could get her to the Safe Zone. He pulled his own wet coat and leather vest off. His long sleeve shirt was mostly dry and he wrapped that around the near naked girl. He lay down on top of her hoping to warm her enough to survive the night.

A laugh escaped Daryl's lips. When he and Aaron separated to escape the herd, he never in a million years expected he'd find a woman in the forest and end up half naked in the backseat of a car with her. "I'm sorry," he said softly to the unconscious woman. "Just trying to warm you up." He ran his hands briskly up and down her cold arms and legs to warm her. The shivering continued but slowed.

Suddenly, Daryl felt eyes on him. The woman was looking up at him with large, scared and confused eyes. Blue eyes so dark in the moonlight they looked black. Daryl continued to rub warmth back in to her, and when she didn't speak he said, "Sorry. Gotta get you warmed up. You passed out. Can you tell me your name?" She was still, seeming to recognize Daryl wasn't a threat, and softly replied, "Stefania."

"Gracias" thank you, she said. Daryl looked up, still rubbing her cold legs with his hands. "I'm Daryl, you speak English Stefania?" She continued to look up at him and said, "Si yes." And then passed out again.

Daryl wasn't so sure about her English, but was relieved she felt warmer to his touch, and didn't seem scared of him despite their unusual circumstance. The car was warming up too, and Daryl lay back down with his chest to Stefania's. He rolled her to the side so she was pressed between him and the back of the car seat. They had no blankets, so it was the best he could do to keep her warm.

Hours later, the sun was rising, and Daryl heard Stefania say, "Javy." She was looking over his shoulder at the front passenger seat. Daryl shot up, reaching for the knife at his waist band. No one was there. The woman had done the same thing the night before, calling the name, looking so earnestly as though someone was right in front of her. Daryl wondered if she was hallucinating. Then she raised her arm and reached towards the front seat, and that's when Daryl saw it. A rope was knotted around her wrist. Tied in a handcuff knot.

Daryl looked back down at Stefania, but she was motionless and he thought she was unconscious again. He used his knife to cut the rope from her wrist, and stared at the woman in front of him for a minute. He now had a better idea what had sent her into the forest half dressed in an ice storm. And it wasn't walkers.

Chapter 2

It was a treacherous ride through the icy forest, but they made it back to the Safe Zone an hour later. The man in the watch tower recognized Daryl and opened the gate. He drove in and jumped out of the car. Rick ran up and Daryl asked, "Is Aaron back?" "He came back at first light, we were just getting ready to come looking for you," Rick responded. Taking in Daryl's wet jeans and t-shirt, Rick started to pull off his coat wondering what had happened in the forest.

Daryl pushed past him ignoring the offered coat and reached into the backseat and pulled out a woman wearing only a flannel shirt. "Gotta get her to the clinic," Daryl said. Rick called for help, and they ran towards the house the Safe Zone used as a clinic. Seeing Daryl's fatigue and own need of medical attention, Rick tried to take the woman from him. But Daryl tightened his grip and pulled her closer in his arms simply saying, "I got her."

Once inside the clinic, Daryl transferred Stefania to a cot and the doctor rushed up and covered her in a wool blanket. He listened to her chest with the stethoscope and took her blood pressure. When he looked up he asked Daryl, "What happened?"

"Found her in the forest. She ran out from nowhere wearin nothin but a nightgown and jacket." He added, "She went in to convulsions, and I think she was hallucinating, kept lookin past me and saying someone's name, but no one was there. Got her warmed up and drove back here at first light."

"She seems stable now," the doctor said. "Dehydrated, but stable. Let me take a look at you." "Naw, I'm fine, just make sure she's okay" Daryl said. Then he stepped away and motioned to Rick.

"What else?" Rick asked. Daryl paused a moment and then said, "We need to find out what was goin on out there, where she came from. What threat of any there is to the Safe Zone. Rick nodded, and repeated, "What else?"

But Stefania woke up ending their conversation for the moment. She bolted up on the cot, eyes wild, and yelled, "Daryl." Daryl stepped towards the cot and moved in to Stefania's line of vision. She calmed, and asked him, "Donde estamos?" Where are we? "It's okay," Daryl soothed. "You're in the hospital. We're in the Safe Zone. Do you understand me, Stefania?" he added.

"Si" yes. He asked Stefania again, "Do you speak English sweetheart?" "Si" yes. Daryl smiled softly. "You're sayin yes Sweetheart, but you're not speaking English. You seem to understand me though, can you try speakin in English?"

Stefania looked confused. Her brow furrowed and she looked from Daryl down to her hands. Taking a deep breath she looked up again and said, "I – I speak English."

The doctor leaned over and asked, "Can you tell us what happened?" "I was in the forest. It was cold. Raining. I was running and s-scared. Daryl found me." "Where did you come from?" the doctor asked. Stefania looked confused again. "I – I don't know." She looked back at Daryl, tears in her eyes. "I don't know. I don't remember. I only remember running is the forest."

"What happened to me?" she added in a whisper. Stefania turned to Daryl who sat down on the edge of her cot. She reached for him and he pulled her into his chest. "Itsallright," Daryl mumbled as she started to cry. "Itsallright." Rick looked on in shock. He'd never seen Daryl so comfortable with a stranger, or so comfortable with affection – even from someone he knew well, even from their group. Daryl patted the woman a bit awkwardly, but he didn't pull away.

The doctor sat with Stefania after and talked with her at length. The clinic was otherwise empty except for Daryl and Rick who talked together at a distance. "What aren't you tellin me brother?" Rick asked Daryl as they watched the doctor with Stefania.

Daryl was quiet for a moment, chewing on his thumb nail, watching Stefania. He looked back at Rick and a flash of anger crossed over his face. "When I found her," he said quietly so no one else would overhear, "she had a rope tied to her wrist. A handcuff knot." Now Rick's face darkened to match Daryl's. "Shit," he said. He looked back over at the small woman, half a head shorter and 50 pounds lighted than him or Daryl – who would do such a thing?

Chapter 3

The doctor was checking Stefania's blood pressure and heart rate again. He pulled the curtain to do a more thorough exam but Daryl knew he would find nothing - She had no visible injuries – he had checked for bites while undressing her in the car and there was not a mark on her pale creamy skin. No cuts or bruises or scratches

Daryl went back over to talk with Stefania when the doctor was done. The doctor told her memory loss can be unpredictable. It could last for a few days or much longer. They would just have to wait and see. No head trauma had been detected. And as Daryl suspected, there were no visible injuries.

Stefania was a little fuzzy, but seemed to have most of her memory from before the world went to hell until two years ago. She was able to tell the men her name, where she was from, and how she spent the first year after the fall. But anything after that… was just gone. When she tried to remember the night before, it was like a fog enveloped her. There was nothing there but blackness – a black hole where her memory used to be.

Daryl and Rick sat with her for a while more after the doctor left. She seemed comfortable with both of them, but her eyes grew wide when Daryl told her they were going back out to the forest. She slipped back in to Spanish and said, "No, por favor, no me dejes." No please don't leave me. Daryl calmed her telling her they would be back before nightfall. They were going to see if they could find where she'd come from.

They left shortly after and drove back to the clearing. Daryl pointed in the direction Stefania came from and they headed in that direction. She couldn't have come far dressed like that in an ice storm. Turned out it was farther than they expected. They were at least two miles from the clearing when they found a one room cabin.

They went inside the cabin and found it had a wood buring stove and running water from a well out back. The fire in the stove had died down over night. Two packs were on the table along with a decent supply of food.

Daryl and Rick looked through the packs. One was clearly Stefania's with spare clothes, toiletries and some personal items. Her passport was in the front of the pack. When Daryl opened it, a black and white photo of Stefania looked back at him. She hadn't changed much since the picture was taken. Stefania Paz. He was surprised she was only a few years younger than he was – she looked so young and vulnerable. Stefania's pack also yielded two Georgia Driver's licenses. One was hers the other belonged to Javier Monserrat.

They found six dead walkers who had been stabbed or shot through the head. They also found Javier. He was in his boxers, sitting on the floor lying against the bed. He'd been bitten and died of his wounds, but had not yet turned.

"Geez, what are we lookin at?" Rick asked letting out a slow deep breath. Javier was covered with tattoos from neck to waist, back and front when they turned him over, and both arms had full sleeve tattoos. Rick recognized some as gang and prison tattoos from his days as a sheriff before the dead started walking.

"We should leave him to turn," Daryl muttered, the same dark look on his face as when he told Rick about the rope knotted around Stefania's wrist. But he pulled out his knife and stabbed the man through the ear walking away without another word.

They collected the packs, food and anything else of use from the cabin. They were going to burn it down, but decided instead to drag the bodies outside to burn. The cabin could offer shelter to others in the future. There were too few places with clean, running water.

Once back in the car, Daryl paused looking at Rick. "I don't think we should tell anyone else what we found. The rope, the prison tats. Stefania can't remember what happened, and doesn't need other people making assumptions." Rick nodded agreement. "Are you going to tell her?" Rick asked. Daryl replied, "Only if she asks."

"She's from Georgia," Rick said. Daryl met his eyes and nodded. "She's one of us now – part of our group. What happened before doesn't matter. We can keep her safe." Rick was surprised by Daryl's words, normally the man wasn't so open, but he wasn't surprised by the sentiment. Rick also found himself feeling protective of Stefania. They made their way back to the Safe Zone with no more words between them.

Chapter 4

Daryl returned to the hospital that night. One of the nurses has sitting with Stefania and combing her shoulder length brown hair. Daryl noticed it was wet and figured the nurse had helped Stefania with a shower. He remembered how good that had felt when they first arrived at the Safe Zone. He hadn't cut his hair or shaved since arriving, but nothing beat a hot shower on a cold day.

Stefania looked over towards Daryl and smiled. The nurse excused herself and Daryl took her seat. "How are you feelin?" he asked. "Better," she replied. "I still don't remember last night before you finding me, but the nurse said to take it slow. That your mind protects you from too much too soon."

"The doctor said I can leave the clinic tomorrow," she added. "He said there's an intake center where they'll assign me a place to stay." "You can stay with me," Daryl said. He wasn't sure where that offer came from. After his talk with Rick, he'd planned to ask Carol or Michonne if Stefania could bunk with them.

But the offer was out there now, and he didn't change his mind, didn't want to. "I'd like that," Stefania said softly. "I know logically that we just met, but I feel like I know you. I feel safe with you." She smiled a bit shyly, "I'll be a good house guest. I won't be in the way." He laughed, "Girl, I never had a house worth mentioning, and this one aint much. But you can stay as long as like."

The next morning Daryl picked Stefania up at the clinic and took her over to the intake center. She was registered, but Daryl made sure the questions were short and not too probing. All the Safe Zone needed to know was she had been found alone the night before last and would be staying with the rest of the Georgia people.

Stefania was able to pick some new clothes from those gathered from the houses in the Safe Zone and found on runs. Even though she didn't remember the last two years, she did remember the first year after the turn, and it had been a while since she'd been "shopping" as she called it.

The proud new owner of a couple of pairs of pants, shirts, a pair of shoes and even a dress, they moved on to pick up some toiletries and household items for her. A single place setting of dishes – pretty ones with a blue china pattern that she likes. A pot for cooking, a set of towels, and a small CD player. It was travel sized, and battery operated, but Stefania smiled like it was the fanciest stereo in the world.

Daryl had recently moved in to a new place. It was across from the houses where the rest of his group lived, but out the back door from their places rather than on the street front so it felt a bit more private. The space was a converted garage, and Daryl figured it had belonged to some college kid before the turn who wanted a little more space living at home with the parents.

The front of the place was still set up like a garage, though it was insulated. It was a good work room for Daryl's bike and other projects. The back was a studio style apartment with a kitchenette, bathroom, and bedroom nook. There were actually two beds, both full sized. One in the nook was a regular bed, the other was a day bed and was in the living room area and functioned as a sofa.

The nook was semi private with a ceiling to floor canvas curtain that could be open or closed to seal off the small sleeping space. It was good space considering the times they lived in. And if they needed more space or privacy, Daryl figured he could get a regular sofa and move the day bed in to the garage area. It would work.

Daryl brought Stefania in and showed her around the small place, and she put her things on the day bed. Daryl let her know she could take the nook, and liked when she asked if he was sure. She didn't want to put him out. "It's no problem," he told her. "I spend more time in the garage or on runs than I do anythin else. Make yourself comfortable."

"Are you hungry?" he asked. When she nodded yes, Daryl said Rick and his family had invited them to lunch so she could meet the rest of their group. Stefania said that sounded nice, so they headed across the street and went in to Rick's via the back door. The houses were small row style houses, but still more room than they had had since the turn. Rick, Carl, Judith, Michonne and Carol stayed in one house. Sasha, Tyrese, Bob, Maggie and Glen stayed in the other.

Stefania seemed a little overwhelmed when she saw everyone at Rick's. Daryl realized too late it may be too much meeting everyone at once. Stefania stayed close to Daryl, and slipped back in to Spanish when she greeted the group. "Hola, buenos dias" Hello nice to meet you.

Rick came up with Judith who welcomed Stefania with a friendly baby hug and that seemed to lessen the tension. Stefania cooed to the baby in Spanish, but seemed more comfortable with the adults and shifted back to English. Everyone liked how she pronounced Judith's name. Ju-deeth. And Carl asked how you would say his name in Spanish. Stefania thought for a moment and said, "Carlo." He blushed a bit when she called him that later during dinner.

The weather had improved significantly since the ice storm and after lunch the group moved out to the porch to enjoy the afternoon sun. After hovering in the low 30s for a couple of days, this afternoon was mid 50s and a nice break from the tail end of winter.

Judith had toddled down the steps and was taking a few baby steps towards a bush in the front yard. Stefania had just gone down the stairs to pick her up when a walker came out from the side of the house. Before anyone else could move, Stefania picked Judith up, turned her back to the walker to protect the baby in her arms, kicked backwards at the walker's knee to knock it down, and then pulled a knife Daryl didn't even know she had and stabbed the fallen walker through the ear.

Everyone froze for one second – including Judith and Stefania. Then everyone moved at once: Rick coming down the stairs and taking Judith who started crying from all the activity. Daryl coming to Stefania and moving her away from the walker. The others pulling weapons and rushing down the stairs to check the perimeter for additional walkers.

Once it was determined there was no additional threat, and the walker body had been identified as a member of the safe zone who had been ill and died in the night, and the body removed, everyone went back inside. The group broke up shortly after but Rick, Daryl and Stefania stayed in the kitchen to talk.

"Where did you learn to fight like that?" Rick asked. Stefania sat at the table and looked down at her hands, and then to Daryl. "I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know where that came from." Daryl looked to Rick, and then put his hand over Stefania's. "I didn't think about it at the time," Daryl said, "but when you found me in the woods, you charged me. With some skill," he added. "You kicked my knee just like you did the walker and took me off balance. I had to put my bow down to stop you."

"I've been with you a few years Daryl," Rick said, "And I've never seen anyone unarm you," he added with a laugh. Daryl flushed, but laughed too. "Like I said, she has skill. Someone trained you to fight like that, Stefania. That's not just adrenalin. You didn't think about coming after me and I had a weapon aimed at you. And you didn't think about protecting Judith you just acted. That's muscle memory."

They sat quietly for a minute, until Stefania spoke. "Well, I guess we've found out one thing about my missing time. Someone taught me to fight, and I learned the lesson well."

"Where the hell'd you get that knife?" Daryl asked looking at the unique weapon he'd taken from her earlier. Stefania smiled, and then laughed. "Now that I remember." After a moment's silence she added, "Nicaragua."

Chapter 5

"Nicaragua?" both men questioned at once. "My parents were aid workers. We lived in Nicaragua when I was in grade school." She smiled, but this time a sadder smile. "I thought the Contras and Sandinistas revolution was the most violent time I'd live in. But I guess no one expected the dead to rise and start eating the living.

"You grew up in Nicaragua, and learned to knife fight in grade school," Daryl said with some astonishment. "Not quite," Stefania replied the laughter back in her voice. "I lived in Nicaragua for 10 years. We moved back to the states when I went to high school. The knife is from Nicaragua. A souvenir. Everyone carried one. Even children. The fighting skills, that's new. I don't know when or how, but that is new."

Back at their house, Daryl and Stefania were quiet. He worked in the garage and she opened the packs that Daryl and Rick had retrieved from the forest. They had told her the basics about the cabin, finding the walkers, and the dead man, Javier. Stefania had no recollection of him.

The first pack was full of familiar items. A couple of pair of pants, long and short sleeve t-shirts. Underwear, bras and socks. A rain jacket. All in black or navy or khaki green. Stefania remembered packing the bag when she left Atlanta. Dark clothes, good for hot or cold weather. Things that would last. Things that wouldn't show the dirt.

She also had some personal items: A toothbrush, comb, dental floss. And some trinkets: A lucky coin, some jewelry, a small stone and a sea shell, and a tiny lady bug pin. All things she recognized from Atlanta. She looked at the ring finger of her right hand; she was wearing her grandmother's wedding ring, a white gold diamond ring in an antique setting. A book. A journal. A CD. Stefania didn't know how she had managed to keep all these things safe the past couple of years. But here they were.

The second pack was completely unfamiliar to her. It contained a change of clothes. A men's razor. A rosary. Daryl and Rick had also brought back some weapons, food and supplies from the cabin. She looked through all of them, but nothing was familiar. It was like looking through someone else's things.

She hung her clothes in the small closet next to Daryl's. Even with her new found riches from the intake center, there was plenty of room in the closet for all their things. She transferred her trinkets to a saucer from the dishes she'd received. The brightly colored items looked pretty in the blue china bowl. After moving her toiletries to a shelf in the bathroom, Stefania sat down with the book and the journal.

The book was a favorite from her childhood – The Witch of Blackbird Pond. She remembered selecting it not only because it was a favorite, but because it was a small, light paperback that would fit well in her pack. It was also large enough to slip some pictures of her family in between the pages of the book. She pulled out four pictures. One of her and her mother taken on vacation. One of her grandparents. One of herself as a child in a ballet costume. And one small collage of pictures with family pets. It's funny she thought, the things we carry, the things we take with us to remember.

Moving on to the journal, she found it dated by season. Summer of the turn. Winter after the turn. Second Spring after the turn, and so on. But the journal hadn't been used as a traditional journal or diary. It was a travel journal: Where she stayed, when, for how long. People she met along the way. It yielded a lot of information about locations. And a list of names, some she recognized, many she didn't. But it did not yield much detail. Stefania recognized her version of short hand. Unfortunately, it didn't help fill in the blanks of her memory. She put the journal aside to show Daryl. Maybe he would recognize a name or place.

Lastly Stefania turned to Javier's driver's license. She looked at the picture for a long time. Waiting and hoping for recollection. She knew from the journal she'd met him the winter after the turn. But her note (Javier/Winter/North) didn't tell her much.

Stefania felt Daryl's eyes on her. She looked up and met his stare. Her eyes were glassy as he moved in to the room and sat by her. A tear escaped as she turned back to Javier's picture ID. "Two years of my life, Daryl. How could I not remember? I look at this photo and nothing… nothing is there. He died protecting me. Shouldn't I be able to mourn him?"

Daryl sat quietly looking at the ID in Stefania's hand. He said nothing, but Stefania saw a look pass over his face. She sat back, and looked at him more closely. She didn't recognize his expression, she didn't know him well enough for that yet. But she knew something was there. "What aren't you telling me, Daryl?"

Daryl met her eyes and sighed. He was hoping she wouldn't ask about Javier, but knew that wasn't likely. Who wouldn't ask? Who wouldn't try to fill in the blanks of lost memory?

"The doctor told Rick and me to be careful about prompting you cause it could lead to false memories. Remember how he'd ask you kinda vague questions, like, 'what can you tell me about last night?' instead of specific like 'do you remember the cabin in the forest?'"

"Yes," she responded. "I don't know much about memory loss except what you'd see on TV or read in a story, but that makes sense. But I still have the feeling there is something you aren't telling me. I want to remember, Daryl. I want to know what happened to me that was so bad I've lost two years of my life. Please tell me."

Daryl met her eyes and composed his thoughts. "When we went to the cabin and found Javier, he had a lot of tattoos." He looked away and then back to her steady blue eyes. "Gang and prison tattoos." He added, "We don't know who or what he was, and I don't want to judge based on looks, but a man with markings like that…" he trailed off.

"A man with markings like that is making a deliberate statement," Stefania concluded. "But," she added, "It doesn't mean he was a bad man."

Daryl was quiet. "What else?" Stefania asked, using the same words as Rick. Daryl looked at her again, and said, "When you found me in the clearing, you had a rope tied around your wrist. It was a handcuff knot."

Stefania's eyes widened and she sat back in her seat. Then she met Daryl's gaze again. "Just the one wrist?" she asked. "Yes," he said. "But how did I get loose? How did I get away?" She looked at her wrists, "I don't have any marks. I'm not hurt. No bruises or cuts. The doctor said I was in good condition. Better than others when they arrived at the Safe Zone. It may not be what it seems. There may be another explanation."

And for the first time, she reminded him of Beth. He hadn't seen it in her small size or her blue eyes or her vulnerability lost in the forest and alone with him. But he saw it now, in her heart, she wanted to believe there was still good in the world, and he wouldn't take that away from her. He looked at her and said, "Maybe. Maybe there is another explanation."

Chapter 6

Stefania had been with Daryl for five days when he went on his first run. She had met Aaron, and learned a bit about their job as recruiters for the Safe Zone. She liked Aaron and his partner Eric, and Eric invited her for supper while Aaron and Daryl were away.

Stefania had been keeping mostly to herself since arriving at the Safe Zone. She was comfortable with Daryl, Rick and the children, but even the rest of the Georgia group made of feel anxious. She suspected she hadn't been around this many people in a while, but couldn't be sure.

She and Eric had supper the third night Daryl and Aaron were away. Eric made his famous spaghetti which Stefania enjoyed almost as much as the company. Eric was calm and unimposing. Stefania felt comfortable with him, and talked about her memory loss and how frustrating it was. They said goodnight and Stefania headed back to her place. Daryl and Aaron were due back the next afternoon.

Maybe it was the heavy food, or maybe it was just time for the memories to start slipping out, but that night Stefania had her first nightmare. She was in a house with people, a large group, maybe 20. There was a fire. The images were broken in the dream, but Stefania knew people she cared about were hurt and dying.

She was on the steps of the house, trying to go back in for her friends, when a man grabbed her arm. In the dream she couldn't see his face, but she knew she was scared of him. More scared of him than the fire. More scared of him than the flames roaring behind her. He pulled her from the fire, dragging her down the stairs and away from her friends. Stefania started screaming. She woke from the dream crying and sweating. The house was silent. Stefania continued to cry quietly remembering the dream.

Daryl came home early. Stefania was still asleep mid morning when he arrived. He came in to the house and was surprised to see her still in bed. She had been up early the other mornings they'd been together. He moved closer to see if she was okay.

Stefania was lying on her side, wearing his flannel shirt. The same one he'd wrapped around her the night she found him in the clearing. Her face was puffy and her cheeks were wet with tears. Unsure what to do, Daryl stood for a minute watching her. She started moaning in her sleep, and bolted awake screaming a second later. Daryl sat down on the side of the bed and pulled Stefania in his arms.

"It's okay," he said holding her tightly while she cried. "It was just a dream, a bad dream." Stefania pulled back and wiped at her eyes. "It was more than that," she whispered. "It was a memory."

She told him about the fire, and the man pulling her away. Daryl asked if she knew who it was. Stefania shook her head no, and said she couldn't see his face. But the arm that held her in a tight grip, the arm that pulled her away from her friends was heavily tattooed, with the word "Maim" tattooed across the knuckles of his hand.

Daryl, didn't say anything, but knew this wasn't a false memory. It wasn't prompted by their conversation as the doctor had warned. Daryl remembered the tattoo on Javier's left hand. And the other on his right hand. Rape and Maim. He just held Stefania while she wept.

After a few minutes she pushed away from him and said "I'm Sorry." "You got nothing to be sorry about darling," he replied. He pushed her hair back from her face and said, "Why don't you go take a shower. I'll make breakfast." She looked like she was going to say something more, but went into the bathroom quietly instead.

Once the door was closed a hot rage washed over Daryl. He wanted to kill Javier again. He wanted to beat him to death with his bare hands. What kind of man did that to a woman? What kind of man had she been with for two years?

Stefania came out of the bathroom with wet hair and wearing a pair of pants from the intake center with a light sweater. The new clothes fit her well, and she looked different. Daryl realized it was the first time he'd seen her in the new clothes, and the style was different than the clothes from her pack. Lighter colors, more youthful. She looked so young and vulnerable to begin with, but even more so now.

Stefania sat down next to Daryl who had made some instant oatmeal while she was in the shower. She pushed her bangs out of her eyes and said, "I'm sure that was a memory and not a dream." Daryl wasn't surprised, based on the tattoo she'd told him about, but asked her how she knew.

"I can't explain it," she said. "Do you know how sometimes you know you're dreaming even while you are asleep and still in the middle of the dream." He nodded, yes. "It's like that," she said, "I just know."

The nightmares continued for the next three nights. Always the same dream. Always the same screams. Each night Daryl came over to her room from the garage and woke her from the dream and held her while she cried. She was losing weight from the stress, and they were both exhausted from the sleepless nights. On the third night, Daryl fell asleep next to Stefania after waking and calming her. They both slept through the rest of the night.

In the morning, Stefania woke next to Daryl with his arm wrapped around her. She smiled when he opened his eyes and looked up at her, and she mouthed the words "thank you." After that, Daryl moved to sleep with Stefania each night when he wasn't away on a run, and the nightmares went away for a while.

Chapter 7

About a week later, Rick invited Daryl and Stefania over for supper. She'd met the whole group with the exception of Abraham, Rosita and Tara. They were living nearby, but hadn't seen Stefania except in passing. After meeting the new people, everyone sat down to supper.

Later in the evening Stefania went over to talk with Carl. "Carlo, I brought the CD you asked about." Carl had seen the CD on Stefania's nightstand when he brought Judith over to visit one day while Daryl was on a run. "Can we play it?" he asked. "Is that okay dad?"

Rick took the CD from Stefania and put it in a small portable CD player. It was similar to the player Stefania found at the intake center, but this one had larger speakers attached not just the small built in speakers of the portable unit. The sounds of the music filled the room, and everyone slowly stopped talking to listen.

Daryl had seen the CD at the house, but had never heard Stefania play it. The music coming from the speakers was in Spanish but reminded him of folk music. The singer had a deep rich throaty voice. "Lagrimas Negras," Carl said looking at the CD cover. "What does that mean?" Stefania looked over, "Black Tears." "That sounds sad" Carl said. "It starts dark, but it's really a love song. It has a happy ending."

Rick said, "I've never heard anything like it before. Is it a folk song?" "It's a flaminco jazz fusion," Stefania replied. "I've never heard anything like it before either," she added. "That's why I like it some much."

Stefania forwarded the CD to the third track and said, "This is one of my favorite songs." When the music started again, Carl asked, "Can you translate what they're saying?"

Stefania was holding Judith and nodded. With the next verse she began to translate.

On the Guadalquivir river

The gypsy women wash

The children on the shore

Watch the boats pass by

Water from the lemon tree

Water from the lemon tree

If I caress your face you have to give me a kiss.

You want to leave

And I don't want to suffer

I'm going with you Gypsy woman

Even if it kills me.

I'm going with you Gypsy woman

Even if it kills me.

As the verse played again and the tempo increased, she passed Judith to Rick and took Carl's hand, "Dance with me Carlo," she said with a laugh, and was surprised that Carl knew how to dance and moved easily in to the back and forth rhythm with her. At the end of the song they were both smiling and laughing.

The rest of the room watched Stefania and Carl amazed. When the song finished, Rick asked, "Carl, where did you learn to dance like that?" Carl looked down at his feet and said, "Mom taught me." Stefania felt the tension in the room, and didn't understand it. But she knew Carl and Judith's mom was not in the Safe Zone and simply said, "Well, she did a wonderful job. It's important for a young man to know how to dance."

Daryl didn't think "important" was the right word. He had survived just fine without knowing how to dance. But he did like watching Stefania dance and couldn't help thinking maybe Lori had the right idea teaching Carl.

It was a nice evening and when they got home Stefania told Daryl what a good time she'd had. She said she felt like she was starting to fit in. Daryl put his arm around her and kissed her brow, surprising himself. "I think you're helping me fit in better too," he said.

They went to bed a little later, only to be awakened in the middle of the night when Stefania had a new nightmare.

Stefania and Javier were down by a lake in the late spring. It was a hot day, and they had taken a swim and were sitting on the shore talking. Stefania stood up and pulled a long shirt on over the black bra and panties she'd swam in. Javier came up behind her, whispering in her ear, and kissing her neck. He reached his hand down and cupped her hip and turned her in to his embrace. There was a noise to the left, and they broke apart looking for the source of the sound. Javier began to laugh and reached back for Stefania with his right hand. She woke up screaming.

Daryl jolted awake and reached out to her, but Stefania pulled away and turned from him, curling in to the fetal position she began to sob. Daryl tried to sooth her saying, "It's okay darlin, it was just a dream. I got ya. You're here. You're safe." But every time he touched her, she flinched away. She finally settled and fell back in to a restless sleep.

In the morning, Stefania apologized to Daryl. She looked sad and scared. "Got nothing to apologize for sweetheart," he said. "Everything's going to be okay." But Stefania wouldn't tell Daryl about this dream. He could see it stayed with her throughout the day, and she was quieter than usual. But she didn't tell Daryl she had seen the tattoo on Javier's other hand. The one that said Rape.

Chapter 8

Three days later, Stefania learned new information about her missing time from an unexpected source. She and Daryl were at the intake center to pick up a supply of canned food for the coming weeks. Daryl and Aaron found a small grocery on their most recent run. It was empty of walkers and hadn't been looted previously. Some of the canned goods had expired before the turn, so they guessed the grocery had gone out of business years ago. But food was food these days.

They'd been at the intake center for about an hour when Stefania heard her name called. She looked around expecting one of the group, but didn't see anyone she recognized. Suddenly, a Spanish man stepped forward and grabbed her arm saying again, "Stefania?"

She pulled back and Daryl stepped forward. The man let go of her arm and Stefania said, "You know me" it was both a statement and a question. She looked at Daryl hopefully. "How do you know me?"

The man was joined by another man and a woman. They all looked at Stefania oddly. "How do we know you? You were with us for a year. Where's Javy?"

Stefania looked to Daryl again, and he nodded slightly. Looking back at the trio, Stefania said, "Javier didn't make it. He was killed a few weeks ago." She didn't want to go in to detail about her memory loss, but how else could she get the information she wanted. The information she needed to fill in the blanks of her memory.

After a minute, she added, "I was sick after, and my memory has been fuzzy." The trio looked at her again and the first man spoke. "Like amnesia? Shit, you got amnesia? Maybe it's for the best, Javy was a crazy bastard." He looked towards Daryl, "She yours now?"

Daryl let out a low growl, and the man stepped back. Stefania put her head down and held back tears. "Can you tell me how we met? How I came to be with your group?"

The man nodded, and the five of them moved over to a table in the back of the intake center. He looked at his friends and then at Daryl and finally back to Stefania. "You really don't remember anything?" She shook her head no.

"You and Javy joined our group about a year and a half ago. He never told us where you came from. He killed three of our men and took over the group. Fuckin crazy bastard. That first night, one of the boys went over to talk to you and Javy knocked you out cold. Said he'd kill you if he caught you talking to another man. After that even the women didn't talk to you."

Daryl put his arm around Stefania, and she took a deep breath and looked back up to the man. "Can you tell me anything else?" He looked towards his friends, and said, "Aint much to tell. You were with us for a year and then six months ago you were gone. We woke up and the two of you were just gone."

He paused, and added, "Look, I'm not pretending we were the nicest group of people," he waved towards himself and the other man. "We were in a gang before the turn, and we did some crazy shit before and after. We were just tryin to survive. But Javy was a violent bastard. You're better off without him."

The woman had sat silently throughout the exchange. She spoke up now, "You really don't remember me, Stefania? I'm Maria." Stefania shook her head no, "I'm sorry." "Everything they've told you is true," Maria said, "but it's not the whole story."

The two men looked at her in confusion. "These two only see what you show them." Stefania frowned in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Javier did kill some of our people," Maria continued, "but the ones he killed were just as crazy and violent as he was. And he did hit you that first night. But no one ever went near you again. They figured if he'd do that to you, what would he do to them?"

"He'd say all kinds of sick shit about you. How you were his, how you did whatever he wanted. We'd hear him screamin at you and hittin you." Daryl grunted again, and Stefania leaned in to him and a tear escaped.

Then Maria leaned across the table and suddenly took Stefania's hand. "But you were never afraid of him. I never saw fear in your eyes." Maria's two companions looked at her like she was crazy. "Everyone was scared of Javy," the first man said.

"Did you ever see him hit her again after that first night? Did you ever see a mark on her?" Maria asked. "You could hear him beatin her every night," said the first. "Hear" Maria said, "but did you ever see it or see any sign of a beatin?"

"Se habla espanol Stefania?" Do you speak Spanish? "Claro" of course, Stefania replied. "He told us you didn't. Most of the group spoke in Spanish. Just another reason to stay away from you. Javy was a violent bastard, but after that first night, I never saw him hurt you, and he kept everyone else away from you."

"I noticed early on you seemed to understand us. You two put on quite a show, and these homies fell for it. Everyone fell for it."

The two men had been staring at Stefania the whole time Maria spoke. "You speak Spanish!?" the first blurted out.

Stefania sat with the three for a while longer while Daryl went to collect their food. She learned the men with Maria were Johnny and Rico, and the rest of their group was gone. They'd fallen apart after Stefania and Javy left. Some leaving like they did, others killed.

Maria motioned Stefania away from the two men to speak privately before Daryl returned. "I don't know how you came to be with Javy or what happened after you left us. But," she looked down and then back to Stefania, "I don't want to embarrass you, but I saw you with him once… accidentally." She looked at Stefania again, "He wasn't forcing you… He wasn't forcing you to do anything."

Daryl came back and said, "Ready?" Stefania nodded and said goodbye to the three newcomers. She took Maria's hand, "Were we friends before?" Maria smiled and shook her head, "No, Javy didn't let anyone get that close to you." "Maybe we can be friends now," Stefania said before leaving with Daryl.

"What do you think?" she asked Daryl as they walked home. "I'm not sure. Makes sense. They have no reason to lie. What do you think?" he asked.

"I'm not sure what to think. It would be nice. Nice to believe he protected me. Nicer than the alternative. I keep thinking about what Maria said, that she never saw any bruises. When I arrived here, I wasn't hurt either. But, I know I was afraid of him when he pulled me from that fire. And I think he set it. I think he set the fire that killed my friends. "I don't know what to think," she repeated.

Chapter 9

The next day Daryl found Stefania sitting outside in the small backyard that edged their house. She had the portable CD player on her lap and was listening to a slow song. It was the album she'd played at Rick's house, but this was a song Daryl hadn't heard before.

She sat staring out in to the distance, humming as the song transitioned to a guitar solo. When the next verse began, she sang along quietly. Her voice was low and husky. And for the second time she reminded him of Beth. Not for the quality of her voice, but for the strength that allowed her to sing despite what the world had become. And for the first time, the memory didn't hurt.

Stefania heard Daryl shuffle, and looked over her shoulder towards him. She smiled and patted the seat next to her. "Sit with me. This is my favorite song," she added. "What's it called?" He asked. "Corazon Loco" Crazy Heart.

She hit rewind on the CD player and the song started again. She met Daryl's eyes and began to translate.

I don't understand you

Crazy Heart

I don't understand you

And neither do they

I can't explain

How you can love

So easily

I don't understand how you can love

Two women at once

And not be crazy

I demand an explanation

Why is it impossible to continue with both?

Here is my explanation

I am unreasonably called Crazy Heart

One is a sacred love

My life's companion

Wife and mother both

And the other…

The other is a prohibited love

The compliment to my soul who I'll never renounce

Now you know

How I can love

Two women at once

And not be crazy

"It's pretty," Daryl said his own voice low and as husky as hers. Their eyes met and held while the music continued. Then Daryl leaned over and kissed her. It was gentle, and as natural as breathing. Being with her felt more and more right each day she was with him. There was never any awkwardness. No shyness even though they'd only known each other a few weeks. They sat outside together for a while longer until the music ended.

That night, Stefania didn't have any nightmares. But she did wake up in the middle of the night to find Daryl's eyes on her. She rolled over in to his embrace, and it was as natural as their kiss earlier.

Daryl covered her with his body, his lips capturing hers. He pulled away to unbutton the flannel shirt she slept in, his shirt. When she was naked under him, when his clothes were also pulled away, he touched her face and repeated a line from the song she'd translated for Carl a week earlier, "If I caress your face, you have to give me a kiss."

The next morning, they woke in each others arms, and there was no shyness. Every day with Stefania felt more and more natural. More and more like she had always been his.

Chapter 10

Daryl and Rick sat talking about the Safe Zone and concerns about exactly how safe it was. Another group had tried to breach the walls, once again proving the living could be more dangerous than the walking dead. Stefania was talking with Carl and playing with baby Judith when Abraham arrived. He shared Daryl and Rick's concerns.

When Stefania heard Abraham say the Safe Zone was like nothing he'd ever experienced, she left Judith with Carl and moved to join the men. Daryl looked up and took her hand, pulling her in to the chair beside him. Rick covered his smile, glad to see Daryl and Stefania continue to grow closer. It was nice to see this side of Daryl.

Stefania paused, looking at each man, and asked, "Do you remember I told you I grew up in Nicaragua?" Daryl and Rick nodded, though this was new information for Abraham. "My parents were aid workers," she clarified.

"I don't think the Safe Zone is so different, and I don't think it is that safe." The men glanced at each other. They had tried to keep their deepening concerns from the rest of the group. The last year had been so difficult for everyone. They needed at least the illusion of a safe place.

"In my experience," Stefania continued, "conflict always brings the same five types of people: Military, Missionaries, Mercenaries, Aid Workers and Adventures. It doesn't matter the conflict or the country. The same five come."

"The military comes in with guns; the missionaries bring bibles and prayer beads; and the aid workers food and medical supplies. All good things," she waved her hand, "but the other two are the problem."

"Mercenaries want what you have. They have no allegiances, and will take anything they can by force. They don't even care if it's destroyed in the process, as long as you no long have it." "And the Adventures," she gave a sad smile, "They just don't know any better. They don't see the danger, or they thrive on it. They have their own idea of a good time, and the worse things get the deeper they dig in to enjoy the ride."

Daryl looked at Stefania. "You parents were… Adventures?" "They were," she relied. "I loved them and they were good people and they did good work where ever they were. But they were there for the thrill, and thrill seekers aren't always smart enough to get out of the way. Because it's all game to them, and they don't believe games ever end badly, or at all."

"But it's not a game. And when it's over it's over. There are no do-overs in the world we're living it. For the Safe Zone to be truly safe, we need to identify the Adventures and defend against the Mercenaries. There is no place here for either of them. They both put us at risk."

Stefania went back to Carl and Judith, and the table fell silent as the men thought about whom in the Safe Zone fell in to the five groups Stefania had detailed.

"She's right," Rick said. "I saw it as sheriff. It's always the same people who show up during trouble. We called em Cowboys – the Adventures and Mercenaries. It's why I want to force the Safe Zone to fortify. We're at risk internally and externally."

The larger group met again a few nights later, and Rick detailed Stefania's theory, and the plan he, Daryl and Abraham had begun to develop. Not everyone agreed about the threat level, but they did all agree the Safe Zone needed to be fortified. Rick repeated the words he'd said in the train car at Terminus, "They don't know who they're fucking with."

Epilogue – Three years later

Stefania moved from the bed to look out the window of the cabin towards the lake. It was quiet, and she could see the cabins where the others lived. They'd found and developed this old vacation resort a while ago. It was well fortified, and had multiple water sources including deep wells in addition to the lake. They were a smaller group now than at the Safe Zone. Tyrese and Sasha and Bob in one cabin; Carol and Michonne in another; the Grimes family in a third. Maggie and Glen; Rosita, Abraham and Tara; Aaron and Eric; Daryl and Stafania. They'd chosen to stay together, Chosen to start over.

They did what they could for the old Safe Zone. But the time came when they couldn't protect everybody. They had to move on and focus on taking care of their own. They'd started over, a smaller group, but one united in how to deal with threats.

Stefania turned back to the bed when she heard Daryl call her name. "You okay?" he asked. She nodded yes. It had been years since she had a nightmare. She hadn't regained all of her memory, but was able to leave Javier in the past. Thankful for the skills he must have taught her. Thankful she was still alive. Thankful that Daryl had found her in the cleaning of the forest that night

She chose to believe Javier was like them, not all good or all bad. She took the memories as they came, some good, some bad. They were surviving and they were living in a world gone crazy where some of the old rules still applied regardless of the conflict or the country.

She slipped under the sheets, and Daryl ran his hand down her body. Stefania leaned in to kiss him and straddled him with her legs. She closed her eyes and leaned back as he began to move inside her. Some time later they both drifted back to sleep, each having found their pleasure and peace in the other.